Two Updates in one day! Woo! Someone get the camera! Some back ground on this chapter; it is going to deal with Celeste's past and I was listening to this song while and I wrote it and thought it was just perfect so the flashbacks are in italics and the song lyrics are in bold italics- hope it doesn't confuse you too much…

Disclaimer- The song is Beautiful by Bethany Dillon- (for real she's a great singer check her out!

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Celeste's POV-

I sat in my bedroom, looking out the window at the cold rainy city. It had been raining for almost 2 days, and I hadn't left my room. I told the maids and Maren that I wasn't feeling good but I kinda just wanted to see how many days it would take Grant to actually come in my room and ask if I was okay.

I watched as people in the streets ran from the rain, ducking under building arches and parking garages, or trying to hail a cab. This was what I loved. The people, the diversity of people the city, no one was the same, they all had different stories yup this was what I loved about the city. As I turned away from the cool window I thought back to my times in the big apple.

Flashback

"Oh grant! This is wonderful! Let's go somewhere wonderful! I just love you! I love to fly!"

"Well then we should fly! Come on darling lets go flying!" 6 year old Celeste sat on the stairs in her families' house in the Hamptons, watching as her parents left just as quickly as they had come in. They had been gone for almost 2 days at various parties and functions and were drunker than ever. She held a little tooth in her hands; she squeezed it harder and harder as she waited for her parents to walk back through the door.

"Celeste what are you doing up at this hour?" Her nanny said as she came walking down the steps grabbing Celeste's shoulder trying to bring her up the stairs.

"Stop! I'm waiting for my mommy, she said she would be home tonight, they are coming back I know they are!" She yelled as the nanny let go of her and walked away. She knew that nothing was going to move Celeste from her spot. The little girl held onto the tooth, it was beloved in her eyes, something that had taken her hours to extract from her mouth she treasured it because she got it out on her own, all her weeks of wiggling and pulling finally paid off and now she just had to show her mom so that she could hide it under her pillow for the tooth fairy. She sat on that same step for another hour before she slowly let go of the tooth, revealing blood on her hands from where the tooth had stuck her hand. Celeste felt tears from in her eyes but wiped them away and headed off to bed. Celeste knew even at 6 that the ridiculous mistake to make in this house was to believe when Grace told you she would be there.



I grinded my teeth as I remembered that night in the Hamptons, mom and Grant left for Paris that night and were gone for almost a month. I started to cry thinking of a month ago when Miles had lost a tooth and the happiness that the entire Scott family had shown for him. I remembered how when Jude was sick for a few days all the boys brought him things home from school. Little get well cards, they let him choose what they watched on TV, they all joined together to make sure he got better, and here in Grant's house it would take him days to even send me a text let alone come into my room and actually check on me.

I was so unique

Now I feel skin deep

I count on the make-up to cover it all

Crying myself to sleep cause I cannot keep their attention

I thought I could be strong

But it's killing me

"Get up." Ten year old Celeste woke up with quickly as she felt a cold hand grab the back of her neck. She sprung out of bed and rubbed her eyes as she saw her mother standing at the foot of her bed.

"What is wrong with you?!" She yelled as Celeste looked around her spacious room trying to find something that could be wrong.

"I don't know what are you talking about?" She asked as she felt her mothers hand meet her cheek with the powerful force of her mom behind it.

"Don't sass me girl, why didn't you clean up that dog?!" She yelled once again as she showed Celeste a spot on the carpet that was covered in a yellow tint.

"I didn't know he did it." Celeste said as she went into her bathroom trying to find something to clean it up with.

"Yeah well maybe if you spent less time singing and playing you'd learn something in that school I pay so much for you to go to." Celeste didn't say anything as she bent down to clean up the pee. She had almost gotten all of the yellow substance from the carpet when she smelled the strong smell of vodka and whiskey come into her room.

"Hey gorgeous." Grant said as he staggered into the room. He looked down at Celeste cleaning the floor. "What are you doing Ce? It's almost 2 am." He said as Grace just smiled smugly.

"That damn dog peed she had to clean it up she wanted the responsibility." Grace said as Grant walked passed her.



"Get in bed; you don't need to clean it." He said as Celeste said as she got up and headed towards her bed, as she walked past her mom, Grace slipped her hand out and gave her daughter an extra push which caused Celeste to go flying straight into the end post of the bed. She felt the blood rush to the back of her neck. She grabbed it in pain but held her cries inside hoping to avoid a fight between her mom and grant. She slid back into the bed as her parents left the room. She knew that her mother was just drunk, and probably high Celeste knew that by 1 tomorrow afternoon Grace would be her regular self and talk to her like nothing had happened the night before.

I thought about Keith, Lucas and Brooke's son, he had just gotten a puppy almost three days before I left, he was so excited to get the dog and vowed to take care of it every waking second. The first accident that the dog had Keith nervously tried to clean it up before Brooke or Lucas saw and when they did he was scared they were going to make him take the puppy back instead they laughed and helped him clean it up. I longed for that.

Does someone hear my cry?

I'm dying for new life

"Happy birthday baby." Grace Reeve sat in her daughter's bed early in the morning on her 15th birthday, she played with Celeste's hair as Celeste slowly woke up.

"Thanks mom." It had been a long year for the both of them, while Grant's condition with alcohol and drugs worsened, Grace's was getting better. She didn't drink as much and tried her hardest to be at home with her daughter.

"Honey?!" Grace said as she looked at a deep bruise on her daughter's neck that was right next to a deep cut. "What happened!?" She asked as she moved the rest of Celeste's hair and looked harder at the marks.

"I guess I fell." Celeste said as she felt her mouth go dry. Even though her mom wasn't drinking as much Grant was still into all the drugs and when he was completely wasted her became a monster. Celeste gritted her teeth she just wanted to yell at her mom. Grant had pushed her against a wall last night when she came in after a night out with her friends, he squeezed her neck which left her with a bruise. She wanted to tell her mom that she was the reason that cut was on her neck; she had pushed her almost 5 years before. She wanted to do so many things but she knew what she would end up doing……nothing.

I rubbed the back of my neck, the bruise had long faded but the cut still remained, I knew that it resembled my life somehow. My mom was gone, deep inside I knew that Grant would be too soon, but no matter how far away they were I would always have the cuts on my heart from where they took over my life

Sometimes I wish I was someone other than me



Fighting to make the mirror happy

Trying to find whatever is missing

Won't you help me back to glory

I stood up and walked towards my mirror and wiped the tears that had fallen, I splashed water on my face trying to get ride of the red stains from my eyes. I stared at myself; it had almost been a month in New York City. I thought this trip up here would help me clear my mind, it would help me get a grasp on what was happening in my life, and instead it had made me miserable. I compared everything to Tree Hill, and nothing exceeded Tree Hill. I had everything there, a family, something that I knew I wouldn't experience anywhere else.

Does someone hear my cry?

I'm dying for new life