The vocalist woke with a start; he sat up pulling his legs up against himself, and wrapping his arms around them. His breathing was ragged and tears were rolling down his cheeks. The dream was still replaying itself over and over again in his mind; his body trembled as he began crying harder. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, shakily hoping he could calm himself. He lowered his head hiding his face from view, the darkness of his bedroom felt like it was going to swallow him whole. He wished that the nightmare would disappear from his mind; he couldn't get the image of the bassist limp body lying on the floor out of his mind. It was just a horrible nightmare and it wasn't like it was the first one, it wasn't real. What scared him about the nightmare was what if one day it was real?

He felt the weight of the mattress shift, a moment later he felt fingers running through his hair. He pulled away from the touch; he tried to stop crying again, but failed.

"Stuart what's going on, I heard yew freaking out."

2D lifted his head and stared at the older man who looked at him with worry.

"I-it's nofink" He muttered trying to keep his voice steady.

"Will yew stop lying to me?"

"I had a nightmare, a-about yew."

More tears ran down his face as the images still went through his mind. Murdoc's fingers were still combing through his hair trying to soothe him and pull him to reality.

"Wanna tell me 'bout it?"

2D shook his head; he moved over to the Satanist. He wrapped his arms around his waist and buried his face against his chest, Murdoc held him closely. He had a hand on the back of the singer's head and the other on the small of his back. He felt stupid for crying over a nightmare, he felt stupid for nearly everything that had been going on lately. He wanted to get over it, to just pretend that his nightmare was no big deal, but he couldn't get himself to do that. The only thing he could do was curl up against the bassist and focus on the fingers going through his hair. He liked feeling him and knowing that he was alive and here, that the dream was nothing more than just a dream.

"Could yew talk, I don't really care wot yew say I just wanna hear yer voice."

"Yeah, sure luv; look I'm sorry about…Well everything, a'right? All I've done is fuck things up really badly with yew and it just gets worse. I hate seeing yew cry, especially when I'm the reason that yer doing it. I keep forgettin' how special yew are to me. It took me so long to get everything just right to bring yew back, I swore that I would take care of yew, and I also swore on the night yew died that I wouldn't let yew die."

Murdoc laughed and shook his head.

"Guess I fuck up any promise I make to ya, sorry about that. Yew are the only person I have ever been in love with, the only person I've dated, and actually stayed committed to. I don't mean to hurt yew, it just happens…I guess that it's just in my nature to do that, not like it makes it okay. I don't mean a lot of the things I say to yew when I'm mad, but I know the things yew say yew mean those things. I don't blame yew for that and actually I'm happy that yew say ya want to run away from me. I know yew won't, that's what I hate…No matter what I do or say yew won't run away from me, ya may think that yew would, but I know better. I hate that I know better…I should have just stayed gone, I know yew miss me….Yew still miss me, ya barely fucking have me."

The younger man closed his eyes; he curled his fingers against the older man's body.

"I swore I'd treat yew right when I brought yew back. I honestly didn't think Hell would change me, at all actually. I wonder if yew would have moved on and got with somebody else if I never came back, for awhile that kind of worried me, but I hoped that yew would. Never really figured I'd be in love with the boy I hit with my car, weird how things work….Yer such a moron for loving me back and even more of one for thinking I don't really love yew. I don't want to believe I love yew, I never have wanted to believe it; at first because I didn't want to love another bloke, then because it was just too fucking late to tell yew, and anymore it's because yew don't deserve the curse of me loving yew."

More tears fell from the vocalist eyes as he listened to Murdoc talk.

"I had a dream that yew died." 2D said his voice quiet, the words sounded strange.

The concept itself seemed almost impossible.

"That's why yer crying?"

The blue haired man nodded slowly, he still refused to move. He wanted to be as close as he could to his boyfriend, he wanted to feel his arms around him, and remember that this was reality.

"It was just a dream, I'm right here. It scared the hell out of me when I heard yew in here crying, always hated when yew cried…its a'right, c'mon no reason to cry anymore. I'm right here; I've got yew even if that isn't the greatest comfort in the world."

"I don't want yew to die"

"Even after all of this; is it just because yew don't wanna be alone?"

"I don' wanna be without yew, I don't know wot to do without yew."

He felt lost; he had never been one to really survive without somebody else around. In the past he could be happy with having his family around or his friends, but ever since he met Murdoc he had relied on him. His parents had hated the change; they had told him in every nice way they could possibly manage that 2D should find better friends. That he didn't need to hang around something like Murdoc, they even had reminded him repeatedly about the two car accidents almost like he couldn't realize that on his own. He knew the Satanist was screwed up, that he was vulgar, angry, almost always drunk, and was a bad influence. It never bothered him; he only clung onto him because of those things. He looked up to him, relied on him, looked after him, and finally fell in love with him. Now here they were years later finally in a relationship, if he looked at it in the right way they had been together for nearly seven years now. He knew back then that things wouldn't stay perfect for long; he had five years of that. This was the downfall; he just wished he could see what direction this would take for the ending.

"I'm not gonna be around forever, but I'm here now."

"I'm stupid for crying over a dream." 2D muttered.

"No yew aren' luv, I'm right here though. I'll be here with yew for as long as I can, as long as yew want me around….Come on no more tears, look at me."

The blue haired man lifted his head, he met the older man's eyes and tried to fake a smile, but it only resulted in more tears falling from his eyes.

"I love yew" Murdoc said his voice sincere; he leaned in kissing the singer slowly.

2D kissed back immediately, he craved the older man's touch. For the first time in what felt like ages he actually believed him completely, he felt safe, and secure. He knew this wouldn't last forever, but for right now he felt it. The bassist fingers ran across his cheeks wiping his tears away, he pulled away from the kiss and smiled at the younger man.

"Do yew believe me this time?"

"I do, please never leave me."

"I promise"

2D kissed him at the same slow pace from before; he tangled his fingers in the bassist hair. He lay back on the bed pulling the green skinned man down on top of him.

"I do not fucking deserve yew."

"Yes yew do, I'm sorry 'bout everyfink….I really love yew Mu'doc, I know t'at yew didn' cheat on me."

"Good; I would never do something like that to yew….I've never considered it, not for a second."

"Yew really did change a lot." 2D said smiling.

"Yer death shook me up, a lot."

"I still can't believe I'm t'at important."

Murdoc kissed him quickly.

"Yew really have no clue how important yew really are to me."

"Yew could show me"

Murdoc sat back and smirked down at the singer; 2D placed his hands on the older man's chest running his fingers down along his body over each scar and bruise.

"Later luv, head still kinda hurts from that idiot punching me."

The blue haired man sat up, he tried to look at the bruises on the older man's face, but could barely see them in the dimly lit room.

"How's yer leg?"

"Eh not too bad, kinda stings; sorry I made yew come pick me up."

The singer shrugged, he wrapped his arms around the other man.

"Its okay, I'm not angry at yew anymore so it doesn' really matter."

"Do yew really think this will get better?"

2D buried his face in the crook of the bassist neck inhaling the heavy scent of cigarettes and cologne.

"I don' know, I want it to get better….I'll wait as long as I have to, I really will."

"I know; no matter what happens I just want yew to know that I'm thankful for everything yew have done for me."

The Satanist held him tightly, 2D looked out the window; he watched the sky lighten as the sun started to rise. He pulled back and kissed Murdoc again passionately, he knotted his fingers in his hair. He wanted to live out his days this way.