Ch 21

Work on Monday was great in House's opinion. He sought out Wilson as soon as he put his things down to gloat about his discoveries and berate him for not spilling the details of the Cameron-Chase-Cuddy love triangle to him. Wilson was curious at the huge smile on House's face when he entered the room. "I'm not having sex with…" he started, rolling his eyes. House cut him off mid-sentence, however.

"Oh, I know. Who Cuddy's actually having sex with is even better." House dropped his cane onto Wilson's desk and took up residence in the seat opposite the head of oncology.

"I don't know who she's having sex with, so please enlighten me," Wilson said, thinking the comment was a ploy to get him to give up information.

"Chase…and I have pictures!" House announced, obviously proud of himself.

"You have pictures?" Wilson was impressed. "Wait, they went to New York this weekend. How did you get pictures of them 'doing the naughty' when they were in a different state?" he asked.

"I was also in that state…coincidentally."

"Right. How did you get them? Did you have your private investigator follow them?"

"I broke into Cuddy's house last week looking for evidence of you having been there and found plans to go to New York. I made reservations in the room next to hers in hopes of catching the two of you in the act. My plan worked perfectly, only Chase was the bare bottomed brute thrusting into her."

"You took pictures of them having sex? I suppose that's the only reason you're still alive. Cuddy would have ripped you a new one if you didn't have some leverage," Wilson reasoned.

"God, I'm brilliant."

"I'm glad your self-esteem wasn't daunted by the fact that you were wrong about me sleeping with Cuddy," Wilson said, pouring on the sarcasm. "It would have been a great loss."

"I know. My question is, why were you covering for her? Are you sleeping with Cameron?"

"No! Don't start this guessing game again. I don't want to know if Foreman is secretly boning Cameron and Thirteen used to be Kutner's lover. This is all crazy. And I only covered for her because she's the Dean of Medicine. And a friend."

"If I find out you were involved in some kind of threesome, I'll be knocking on your door with a stripper and a bottle of Jack to work with," House told him with a wink. Before Wilson got the chance to protest, the diagnostician was off and back to work.

House greeted his team warmly upon his arrival. They were all astounded, but didn't want to know what scheme he had pulled off to put him in such a good mood. Thirteen presented him with a case of a 54 year old man who couldn't stop sneezing who also didn't have any body hair and House's day was looking up even further. He ordered a full round of tests and turned on the television to catch General Hospital. When the show was over he pulled out his diary and started jotting down his thoughts.

'Day Twenty-One:

Sometimes Mondays aren't that bad. I have everything in the world to make me happy in my hands. A puzzle, black mailing material, and a friend who quite possibly likes to share women. How could life get better…except if Thirteen liked to share women…'