Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight SM does, I just like playing there. All poetry is the property of the original author. The rest is mine.

A/N:

Here it is as promised. Okay I may have missed the deadline by a few minutes but it was almost 24 hours.

I have not taken the time to read or reply to the reviews for the last chapter posted since I was in a hurry to get this one out. I will still get to them but I wanted to take this chance to say thank you a head of time.

So the story is winding down but don't worry it is not over yet. It won't be that easy. Please let me know what you think. THANK YOU! I love all the support and love for this story.

Just Home and Love! the words are small
Four little letters unto each;
And yet you will not find in all
The wide and gracious range of speech
Two more so tenderly complete:
When angels talk in Heaven above,
I'm sure they have no words more sweet
Than Home and Love.

Just Home and Love! it's hard to guess
Which of the two were best to gain;
Home without Love is bitterness;
Love without Home is often pain.
No! each alone will seldom do;
Somehow they travel hand and glove:
If you win one you must have two,
Both Home and Love.

And if you've both, well then I'm sure
You ought to sing the whole day long;
It doesn't matter if you're poor
With these to make divine your song.
And so I praisefully repeat,
When angels talk in Heaven above,
There are no words more simply sweet
Than Home and Love.

Home & Love Robert William Service

Chapter 21: Home & Love

I knew vampires were coming and some rational part of my mind told me it was them but I was not prepared and was still shocked when my Adonis burst into the storage unit. There he stood, my memory not doing his beauty justice. Following him my first vampire family arrived. When I heard my, his parents and my first vampire father gasp, my instinct was to protect those I love. The cloud that had covered mom and dad had grew to cover everyone.

I dropped to the floor clutching my heart. The number of emotions I was feeling was staggering. It was impossible to tell who each emotion belonged to and the rawness of them was too much to bare. Only a split second later I was filled with so many thoughts I could not tell who each belonged to. There we fragments of thoughts bleeding together. With no time to adjust to the sensory overload I began to get flickers of images repeatedly. I cradled my head as the pain ebbed and flowed through my heart and mind, the pain so severe that it all became a buzz of sobs, whimpers, and moans. I wanted to open my eyes to reconcile what was happening, however each time I did I was met with images my heart could not handle. When my gaze found Edward curled up on the floor I let out a whimper.

The movement of the large man I had once considered my brother caught my attention just before my dad placed himself between me and the hulking vampire, letting out a ferocious growl. I could see Alice hovering over Jasper and knew that a measure of the worry I could sense was hers. I knew mom and dad were trying to talk to me, but nothing was getting through the cacophony of thoughts and emotions raging with in me. It was then that Carlisle was spurred into action and it was obvious that he remembered Edward's biological parents. When he confirmed their identities to the rest of the room another surge of thoughts and emotions overwhelmed me and I was forced to close my eyes once again.

I started to see images again flipping quickly in my mind. Different scenarios and the only acceptable outcome was all of us in this storage unit.

The next time I was able to open my eyes through the onslaught, I was met with the horror filled eyes of Carlisle. I briefly wondered if I was what horrified him. When Jasper whimpered it reverberated in me and I was distracted and could no longer focus on Carlisle. I worked to maintain the mask and blankness that I would use to cover my pain. I felt someone's arms wrap around me and it took several moments to realize they were moms.

I knew Carlisle was talking to me. I could see his mouth moving but I could also hear his thoughts. 'They are all in pain, my children.' He knew how everyone worked but me and he was trying to help. I wanted to collapse in on myself but nothing worked. I had to protect those I love and the love was tearing me apart but that was nothing new.

Again I could not register what was happening or being said around me. Only the thoughts and feelings. I suddenly could feel immense pain from the person closest to me and that would be my mother. I tried to focus on her thoughts and somehow knew she felt she would have to pick between her son and I. That was not going to happen, I had never been and would never be a replacement for their lost child. I was not sure how I would do it, it would kill me to do it but I needed to become the nomad I knew I was destined to be. I needed to figure out how to get out of her alone. I knew Alice was speaking but I was trying to plan my departure when several immense stabs of pain hit me at once I had to figure this out even if it meant being alone. I saw Carlisle move to Edward and a surge of protectiveness overcame me and I knew I needed to make this better for him before I left. I spent all the energy I could to focus on Carlisle's thoughts, he knew Jasper was struggling with everyone's emotions and Edward was trying to deal with all the thoughts coming from the room. He was not sure what was happening to me and did not know how to help but he thought I was replicating their powers causing an unending cycle of pain and thoughts. I was not sure if that was correct but when he had the thought that I was the key to protecting them it caught my attention. He thought if I could shield Edward from me and I could replicate their powers, could I shield everyone from those same powers. This pain was relentless and I knew I needed to keep them from feeling this pain. I tried to block the pain from myself, hide it in indifference. I was unsuccessful but after my attempt I noticed a thicker cloud that seemed to be weaker than the original mist that I was able to maintain with no effort. I began pushing and stretching it with my mind. Slowly I was able to match it to the original cloud. It took everything from me and I was gritting my teeth in the effort to hold it in place. It stopped the pain and thoughts that were invading me. I allowed me to truly lock everything down like I had only been able to do one other time when they left me. I was numb and I liked it. I froze myself in position not allowing myself to look at anyone. I focused all energy on one point. If I stayed this way I could keep everyone out for me and for Edward and for Jasper.

I knew it was working when I could hear Jasper panicking at the loss of his additional sense. I felt for him but knew if I allowed him to have it back I would break the link and we both would be back on the ground from the emotions flowing around and if I were being honest I planned to stay this way until I could get away.

I could feel the intensity of Edward's stare and slowly everyone's eyes were on me. That was moments before mom started talking "Bella, honey." she cooed. "Bella, talk to me." I could not respond. I could not and would not let this go. I also knew deep down that if I stopped what I was doing we would be back at square one.

"Bella, you are safe here." Carlisle said in front of me and I heard whimpers but I could not spend any energy on deciphering their origins.

"Sweetheart," Dad said sternly but before he continued Jasper cut him off.

"I think we need to address what we can while Bella has everything blocked." he stated solemnly. "She will not be able to maintain this unconditionally without other repercussions." Ignoring everyone's attempt at interjecting, he continued. "Bella's smart, she knows that if she breaks whatever this is we will end up back where we were. We need to address and deal with everything that does not involve Bella." Everything that had to do with these merging families had nothing to do with me. I had returned his parents to him, as much as I loved his parents, I would not stay with those who did not want me. My heart was not strong enough and I was not sure how long I could keep everything at bay, but the longer I did it the easier it becoming to stay numb.

"This has everything to do with Bella, anything with this family has to do with Bella." Dad hissed. At that I heard a growl that I know belonged to Edward, I winced but feeling the cloud pull back I refocused my energy.

Jasper always soothing, "The same for our family as well. Bella is fundamental to all of us." He placated my parents. So obviously I had blocked his father's power as well, really there was no reason to lie. "What I mean, is we need to address whatever is not directly associated to her," he said while turning to look at Edward, "while she has our extra abilities deadened."

"Please listen to him." Carlisle implored. "This may be the only time he can address this with only his own thoughts, not having to worry about how this is effecting everyone else."

"I don't know where to start" I heard dad murmur. "As you know we were all very ill, Dr. Cullen." his voice turning to steel.

"I remember." Carlisle sighed. "Please believe me I did not however know you or Elizabeth had been bitten. I am not sure what Bella has told you."

"Until a couple of days ago Bella had never told us any of your names, she spoke highly of you all without knowing of any connection. When the connection was made she was very upset that she did not see it before." Dad explained.

Carlisle replied with a small laugh, "that sounds like Bella."

Dad continued, "Once she put the pieces together, she explained that Elizabeth had begged you to help our son. Bella said that she was told that Elizabeth seemed to know there was something else you could do for him." Dad looked questioningly at Carlisle.

"That is correct. That is not the only reason I turned Edward though." Carlisle was being honest and I knew that would really please the man I knew as my dad.

"I know. I appreciate your honesty. Since Bella has blocked my power I was wondering how much you would disclose. Bella said you were also very lonely and had been for some time. You had contemplated making a companion and with the push you received from Beth you acted on it." Dad looked to Carlisle for conformation.

"That is true. Please tell me what happened with you and Mrs. Masen?" Carlisle asked.

I sat focused on keeping my shield in place. I knew Edward needed to hear all of this and make his own decisions without worrying how either set of his parents would take it. I listened to the same story dad had told me about being bitten for a newborn army. Now knowing everything I am ashamed I had not placed everything together sooner. Seeming to know what I was thinking dad turned his attention to me. "Bella, please don't beat yourself up over any of this." Dad continued with the story. Mom and Esme had not left mine or Edward's side as this had happened and I heard the whimpers coming from the three of them along with the ragged breath from my father. I wanted to comfort them but I knew this was the only way. "After watching the hospital burn down and believing we had lost our son, we were lost. We knew we could not go home and we refused to be around people. We did our best. We knew that all of those people were someone's child." Dad took a few steadying breaths to calm himself. "We found our way into the surrounding wilderness and for many years we lived there. That is where we discovered we could live off of animal blood. When we were finally able to be around people we returned to our home devastated to see all our mementos and photographs had been stolen. We found then that our home had been sold. We made our peace with it since everything connected to our son was gone."

Someone cleared their throat. "Edward owns that property sir." Emmett offered.

Dad nodded, "We retreated back into the wilderness for a while but eventually we started the life we were living before Bella came into our lives." Dad turned to face his son and he seemed to slump in on himself. This was so unlike dad, he was always so sure of everything. "Edward, son we never forgot about you."

Edwards head snapped up and his eyes met his fathers for the first time before they scanned to his mom. I heard the whimper that escaped both of them and wanted to tell my mom to go to him. Edward's eyes landed on me and he looked torn. I was not sure why, was he upset that I had been with his parents. That his parents had made me the one thing he never wanted. At mom's sob Edward's eyes returned to her. I noticed the small frame of my once best friend approach mom and I. Something was communicated and mom moved from my side. I feared feeling Alice hold me, something I had once longed for. I felt her hesitantly replace mom's arms around my shoulders as I watched mom move next to dad, then pass him to place herself in front of Edward. I was startled to hear the small hiss come from his lips.

"Edward, she did not mean to block Bella." Jasper whispered. Mom moved slightly revealing me once again. I was confused why not seeing me would make him hiss. We had not seen each other in a decade and that was his choice. I winced and for a split second, I lost control of my shield. At Jasper's moan I refocused my attention. "Edward it is okay to handle this before you talk to Bella. She would want you to." Jasper continued.

With one last look at my form he turned to his mother. When she whispered "Edward." You could see the wall break down. They reached tentative hands out to each other almost in fear that the other one would disappear. Once the connection was made, mom pulled her son into her arms. A moment later I noticed dad looking at me, with a small nod he joined mom.

I knew the emotions were high around the room but I could not let myself be a part of them. I had noticed Esme being held by Carlisle and with a loud sob I saw her flash to my side. Alice quickly moved and my first vampire mother had me in her arms again. I wanted to break down I wanted to let the protection she once made me feel take over but I knew it would only be temporary and I was becoming addicted to the numbness this new layer provided.

I lost track of how long I stayed frozen in my current state. I blocked out the murmured conversation reconnecting the lost family. However after what could have been hours or days the group that all attention seemed to be riveted to started to move. "We have missed you, Edward." Mom said.

"And I you." He whispered in return. As his stare wandered to me and back to his parents.

"She is amazing Edward." mom said when she saw his eyes shift. I did not want her to make him feel like he had to pick me.

"I know." He responded looking my way again. In that moment he sounded like the Edward who had loved me and not the one who broke my heart, it did not make sense but I would squash any hope that bubbled up inside me.

Dad stepped between Edward and myself. "You hurt her very deeply." dad whispered. "She has been hurting for a long time." Edward nodded. "I love you Edward." You could hear the gasps around the room. I wanted to roll my eyes, of course they loved him, and they always had. What wasn't there to love? "But I will not let you hurt her." Edward sobbed and mom clutched him to her. "I will only allow you near her if I know your intentions are real and pure."

"She is my mate." Edward sobbed and it took every bit of me to not collapse from his words. Why would he say such things? Was he worried his parents would pick me over him. "You will not keep her from me." Edward squared his shoulders staring back at dad.

Dad chuckled, "Good you stood up to me. Now stand up for her. Be the man she needs and admit your mistakes." Dad instructed Edward sternly. "There are many things Bella told us, that I was not happy about. But being here in this room I know they were meant to be." Dad reached his hand out to Carlisle. As they shook hands and embraced most of the tension in the room disappeared and I felt the weight lift from my shield. The numbness would be easier to maintain and possibly allow me to move out of this room.

As they all turned to me I was terrified of what would happen now. I did not want to feel the fear and hurt that their words could bring. I focused hard on a speck on the opposite wall refusing to look at anyone. I gritted my teeth and locked down my muscles as if for impact waiting to be dismissed from this newly formed family. Though I was confused I still knew I would not be enough.

"Bella," Esme was the first to address me. They did not need me to talk to say what was coming so I clenched my jaw tighter.

"Sweetheart," mom's attempt was next. She got the same response.

The next person to touch me, was a surprise. Lifting me from my position on the floor I was in a trademark bear hug. "Bella, little sis. It is so good to see you." I forced more strength into my shield. As I watched Emmett step away with a defeated sigh.

I felt another set of arms surround my shoulders but not in a hug but from around my back as if to detain me. "Bella, it is going to hurt. You are going to be confused. It is going to take time, but it's time to start healing." Jasper said directly into my ear. "You have to let the numbness go and feel it. Like I promised I will be here." He reinforced his words with a subtle squeeze to my shoulders. "You can let the shield down. Edward and I will be fine, it may be tough with everything that is happening but we need you to be whole. We have missed you." He tried to move me so that I was looking directly at Edward, I kept my eyes diverted from looking into his. "You are going to have to do it now."

I was confused by his last statement until Edward hissed "Not here. Not like this."

Dad approached both of us and placed his hand on Edward's shoulder with a stiff nod. I saw Edward square himself and then turn to face me. "Isabella," I wanted to melt into the beautiful voice that sounded so fragile but I could not let the hole in my chest be ripped any further. There would be nothing left of me. "Bella, I am so sorry love. For all the pain I have caused you. I lied to you the day I left you in the forest. There is no way for me not to love you. It was the blackest form of blasphemy when I told you, you were no good for me. It was I who will never be good enough for you. You were right as usual it was my fear for your soul that kept me from wanting this life for you. If I had not feared for your soul I would have changed you as soon as I returned from Alaska when I heard my name on your sleeping lips. I know better now Bella. There has to be something bigger than us, for all of us to be in this room together."

"It is working her breathing is getting heavier" Mom assessed.

"Bella, I will spend the rest of eternity trying to earn your forgiveness and prove my love for you if you will let me. I need you in my life Bella. I have held tightly to the brief glimpses Alice has been able to see of you. I feared so much when we couldn't see you after Victoria's attack. I am sorry we did not get to you in time. I am so thankful mom and dad were there to protect you. They could never have done anything more important to my existence. Please love look at me. When we finally saw you after your change I was so happy I would have time to find you and we have been looking. We weren't sure why Alice could not see you all of the time, I realize now it has to have something to do with you power. Bella, please let me see your eyes. Show me that I still have a chance to make this better." He sobbed and it was taking everything to not fall apart to collapse to the ground, but I did not want to be lied to. I had thought they all loved me before.

"Bella, please listen to him." Alice plead.

I tried to fight off Jasper's arms. I needed to be away from this. I could fall apart somewhere else. He tightened his grip on me. "Not this time Bella. No one is running anymore. All of us have been living with hurt and pain and we are the only ones who can let it go." He took a deep breath. "Bella you have the power all of it, use it. Use your dads to tell if we are lying. Use mine, keep it if you must. Feel what we feel for you. Take Edward's and hear our thoughts. Know what thoughts consume us the way you have been consumed. You can't stay numb forever Bella."

I tried to pull my shield away from dad but the fear that I would loss my protection had me scrambling to reinforce my protection. I noticed Jasper give a nod to everyone one, seconds before I saw Edward's fingers reaching for my face. I snapped my eyes to his and could not contain the gasp when I saw the love and pain in his eyes. He did not stop the movement of his hands as he went to cradle my face. As he finally touched my skin the familiar electricity sparked between us and I swear my heart stole a beat and I lost my hold on the shield. I would have collapsed to the ground again had Jasper not been holding me. As it was I was trembling and ragged breaths broke from my chest as everything came rushing back. "Feel it Bella. Feel what everyone feels. It can be overwhelming but it is better than numb." I could feel all of it. The love, hurt, pain and longing we all kept contained inside. "Use the power Bella" he continued. "Feel the honesty. You will know if anyone is lying. Feel the truth behind our thoughts and feelings. Hear us Bella." He continued through a shaky voice.

I turned my head to my mom. I could feel her parental love, equal in its portions for both Edward and I. 'Oh, honey. I wish I could take aware both of your pain."

'They finally have each other again. Oh how I have missed my child.' Esme thought with her heart full of compassion.

'I hope the pain will be over.' Rose

As I focused on Alice, she had a giddy excitement as she showed me a vision. 'You are still my best friend. Please forgive me.'

'I am so sorry I failed to protect you like a big brother should.' Emmett focused on the same sentence over and over with nothing but pure love behind it. Obviously he wanted me to get the message.

It was comical that dad and Carlisle's thinking were so similar. 'Both of my children, so stubborn. Please let them get past this. They deserve happiness.' Were there mutual silent prayers.

'Bella, I am so sorry for everything that has happened. Know you are good enough. You are the best part of this family. You were the missing piece. Let us, him make it up to you.' I heard from Jasper with intense sorrow and love.

When I finally turned my head back to Edward I tried focus on his thoughts and was met with silence. It was very frustrating, every other person's thoughts had been clear to me. I tried to focus harder, suddenly I felt a pure unadulterated love so intense my knees began to buckle and I looked to Edward, he mouthed 'I love you!' and the truth behind it was so intense I collapsed into him.

Before anything else could register he had gathered me in his lap, the hum of the electricity relaxed my body in way it had never been since becoming a vampire. When I inhaled his scent I could feel the purr in my chest. When I nuzzled into his neck I could hear the masculine purr coming from him and I was whole. Not like I had been healed but as if there had never been any hole in my chest. This moment in my forever was perfect and I would stay right here.

Don't worry it is not quite over, Edward is not getting off that easy. Please review, let me know what you thought. Remember I am always open to inspiration.