The story's title is from the song "Light Outside" by Wakey!Wakey!. All of the chapter titles come from various songs by the same band.

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Disclaimer: I own nothing except for the plot and any original characters that may be added in later. All rights over characters of the TV show Arrow belong to CW Television and DC Comics.

But It's All Gone Away (And It's All on Me)

June 2010

Shifting uncomfortably, Felicity's eyes dart around the room crowded with people, most of them friends of Moira. She clears her throat, "Actually, can we go somewhere? Like, your room?"

Realizing that her request provides the perfect opportunity for him to tell her his plans, he agrees, "Uh, yeah. Let's go." Oliver puts down his glass and grasps her hand in his, discretely leading her out of the room and upstairs.

Felicity fidgets with the hem of her dress the entire way to his room, thinking over the right words to use. When they reach his room, Oliver lets her in first and then closes the door behind him.

She turns to him, bracing herself for what's about to come. "Oliver… We need to talk."

"Okay… About what?" Oliver asks, eyes narrowed and voice laced with caution.

Opening her mouth, Felicity finds no words coming out. He stares at her expectantly as her mouth opens and closes like a fish. "You should sit down," she finally instructs.

He complies, lacing his fingers together and resting them loosely `between his knees. His eyes follow her movements when she begins to pace, muttering to herself and shaking her head at her own words repeatedly. After an entire minute goes by in silence, Oliver interrupts her silent ramblings, "Felicity, what is going on? Why are you so nervous?"

Stopping her movements, Felicity finally faces him, sucking her bottom lip between her teeth and wringing her fingers together in front of her. "Because I don't know how to say this! I don't want you to react badly because I love you, Oliver. I don't want you to be angry with me." She goes back to her frantic pacing, running her fingers through her hair.

He laughs in disbelief at her thoughts, "Felicity, why would I -" Oliver cuts himself off and his expression quickly morphs into one of pure dread, all color draining from his face. He gulps, trying to find his voice. "Are… Felicity, are you pregnant?"

Felicity whirls on him, her eyes wide and her cheeks flushing with color, "What?! No! Oliver, I am not pregnant. I'm on the pill and we always use protection. Why would you even think that?!" His visible relief at her answer doesn't last long when her shock quickly fades, her eyes possessing a new fire as she clenches her jaw, trying not to yell, "Are you calling me fat? Because if you don't like the way I look Oliver Queen, there's the door! What is it with men? It's like they think we exist just for them to look at as we stand around in sexy lingerie! Well, I am not here for that and I will not be objectif -"

"- Whoa!" Oliver interrupts, springing to his feet and placing his hands on each of her shoulders. "Take a breath. That's not what I was saying at all. You know I think you're beautiful and sexy and perfect. You just… The way you were wording things scared me for a second there. I mean, we're only 18. We're not ready for a baby."

"No shit! Oliver, I'm not pregnant. I promise."

He releases another sigh of relief at her reassurances and moves them both to sit down on his bed. "Okay. Then tell me what's going on with you. Whatever it is, I won't be mad."

Tightening her hold on his hand, she takes a deep breath and dives into her explanation as Oliver sits patiently listening. "Last week I got a phone call. From MIT. Oliver, they offered me a full scholarship to start this September. I know what you're thinking, I haven't even graduated yet. But I talked to Principal Steele and because of all the AP and extra classes I've been taking since freshman year, technically I'm only a few credits short, so I just have to take one class and an online thing this summer and I'll have enough credits to graduate before August. I know that MIT is on the other side of the country but… It's a full scholarship. At MIT, one of the best schools for technological sciences in the world. Which means my mom wouldn't have to worry about paying for my tuition anymore. I can't say no to this. I'm sorry, Oliver. Please don't hate me." Felicity looks down, her voice falling barely above a whisper as she finishes.

He moves his hand to her face, cupping her cheek and wiping away a tear that leaked from the corner of her eye. "How could I ever hate you? Felicity, this is an amazing opportunity for you. You deserve it, you've worked so hard and you're a freaking genius," he stresses causing a teary laugh to bubble past her lips. "I am so proud of you."

"Really?"

"Yes! How could I not be? You're amazing and you are destined for amazing things. I've always known that. I don't know why you thought I wouldn't completely support you."

"Well, I didn't really doubt you. I was just nervous. Oliver, MIT is thousands of miles away. But we can make it work, okay? I know it. We can do long distance and make it work. And we'll have all summer together!"

Guilt flashes across Oliver's face and he stares down at his lap. "Yeah, about that… I actually have some news of my own that I've been wanting to tell you."

Felicity adopts a serious expression and lays her hand on his forearm in concern. "Oliver… Are you pregnant?"

He lifts his head to find her biting her lip, struggling to keep from bursting and he laughs breathlessly. "That's cute. Really cute, Felicity. Make fun of my moment of anguish."

Unable to hold it in any longer, she explodes into a fit of laughter. "I'm sorry, I couldn't resist." She sucks in a breath, calming herself down and looking at him with a straight face. "Okay, I'm serious now. What's your news?"

It's his turn to take a deep breath and he squeezes her hand, mimicking her comforting actions from earlier. "A few weeks ago, after my birthday, my family's lawyer called my mom. We went to QC and there was… There was an additional will from my father to be read after my 18th birthday in the event of his death."

"Okay… What did he leave you? Extra money or something?" she tilts her head, brow furrowed in confusion.

He takes another long, calming breath. "He left me Queen Consolidated." He looks up at her, awaiting her reaction. Her face remains stoic, unfazed for a few seconds before she starts laughing. Oliver gapes at her, confused by her reaction.

Upon noticing that he isn't laughing with her, Felicity immediately stops, her eyes widening, "Wait… You're being serious?!"

"Yeah."

"Well... What… How… Why?" she stutters in true Felicity fashion.

"In the will was a letter that he wrote to me. He said that he was sorry that he failed me as a father. And that he trusts me and is proud of me. I get ownership of all of QC's assets. And when I graduate - if I graduate and get my MBA, then I become CEO."

"Wow. That's… Wow."

"Yeah."

"So, what are you going to do?" she tucks her leg up underneath herself and shifts to face him more fully, "And why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"Because I didn't know what I was gonna do, Felicity. When I found out, I kinda freaked. But I talked to my mom and she told me that this is my responsibility now. I have a responsibility to honor my father's wishes and to honor his memory," Oliver explains, voice laced with a newfound passion that it didn't possess when he had first learned of his father's crazy actions.

Nodding silently, Felicity eyes him cautiously and asks again, "So… What are you gonna do?"

"I sent in my acceptance letter to Starling University three days ago."

"Oliver, that's a huge step. A good step! A really, really good step for you. But are you sure that's what you want? I know that you've been reluctant about college."

"I've thought about it a lot and I have to at least try. My dad… When my dad was alive, I never felt like I was good enough or like he was proud of me. But this… Felicity, he loved this company. He built this company and the fact that he left it to me - me! - of all people… He believed in me. I can't let him down. Wherever he is… I just can't."

"I understand that. And I'm proud of you," she smiles. "I understand why I was nervous, considering MIT is far away, but why were you nervous? You staying in Starling for school wouldn't really change anything other than you being busier. But it's okay. Like I said before, we'll have all summer together and then in September we'll figure it out."

Oliver clears his throat and glances down at their joined hands where his thumb is slowly brushing back and forth over her hand. "I wasn't nervous about that part. I'm nervous about this part." He takes one more steadying breath before deciding he can't avoid this any longer. "I'm not starting school in September. I accepted, but I'm deferring a semester. Everything is just happening so quickly and I just… I need time to prepare myself and come to terms with what all of this really means."

"I don't understand."

"I'm leaving."

He looks up when Felicity pulls her hands out of his grasp to find her staring at him blankly. "I'm sorry, what?"

Sighing, he turns more towards the confused blonde. "I'm leaving Starling, with Tommy. We're going to Europe."

Felicity shakes her head lightly and stands up. "You're just, 'hey Felicity, no big deal or anything, I'm just going to Europe with my best friend for an indefinite amount of time, love you'? Seriously?!"

Jumping up from his sitting position, Oliver defends himself, "It's not an indefinite amount of time! It's six months, at the most. It's just - it's like a graduation present from our parents. Things are gonna get crazy soon and everything is changing, and I just need something to feel normal. And what's more normal than leaving the country on a private yacht with my best friend? We don't really have a plan, but we know we're gonna spend our last week in China with my mom and his dad so they can show us the QC and Merlyn Global branches in Hong Kong. I'll be back for the start of second semester in January."

She takes a step back, "When I'll be gone. This is a lot of information, Oliver. It's a lot to take in."

"I know, I'm sorry for springing this on you. But this is what I have to do. I hope you can understand." After nearly five minutes, she still hasn't moved or made a single sound, and Oliver is beginning to worry a little bit. "Felicity, please… Say something…"

At the sound of his voice, Felicity looks up, her eyes glossy. "I don't know what you want me to say, Oliver. I need some time to think about everything. I mean, I just feel like with the whole long distance thing, things are really becoming real between us and with everything with the company… It just feels like you're running away. Like you always do."

"Felicity, that's ridiculous. I'm not running from anything."

"Not running..." She stares at her feet, nodding her head solemnly before locking eyes with him again. "When do you leave?"

He glances down to hide the pained expression that crosses his face at the sound of her voice, obviously feeling hurt by his decisions. Oliver lifts his head, calm mask perfectly in place, "Two weeks. July 1st."

Felicity releases a pained, breathless laugh and meets his eyes. "I have to go. I just… I need some time to think. I'll… I'll see you later." She turns on her heels, rushing out the door. Oliver feels like for once in his life, his future is looking up and he could be getting everything anyone could ever want. But watching her walk away, he just hopes that he isn't losing the only thing that he's ever wanted.

July 2010

Standing at the docks, Oliver gazes out at the water that holds his father's yacht, The Queen's Gambit. Tommy is already waiting in the boat, having already said goodbye to Laurel and his dad, the latter being a pat on the shoulder and a 'have fun'. The horn sounds, the captain signaling the ten-minute warning. Oliver turns, opening his arms for one last hug from Thea.

"I'm gonna miss you, Ollie." The little girl's voice is muffled from where she has pressed her face into his jacket, arms wound tightly around his waist.

He brings a hand to her head, running his fingers through her hair and tugging on the ends of her braids gently. "I'm gonna miss you too, Speedy. But we'll Skype."

"Promise?" Her voice is quiet and he has to strain himself to hear her.

"I promise," he reassures, giving her enough comfort to pull out of his embrace and send him a bright smile. He glances up towards his mother, sending her a sad smile at the look on her face before moving to pull her into a hug.

Cradling the back of his head, Moira tries to hold back her tears. "Oh, my beautiful boy. I want you to be safe, okay? Don't get into too much trouble with Tommy. And call me every day!"

Oliver laughs as he pulls away, "Yeah, I will."

Moira grabs Thea's hand, pulling her to sit on the bench so that they can watch the boat leave. Oliver walks back towards the dock but stops, hesitant to leave just yet. He still has eight more minutes. She could still show up. They haven't spoken since the party after graduation, but she knows that he is leaving today. She could still show up. He starts to doubt himself when five minutes pass and she is nowhere in sight.

Sighing, he moves forward towards the boat, deciding not to wait any longer. He's about halfway there when he hears a sound on the wooden boards behind him and turns around to see Felicity standing at the edge of the pier looking slightly breathless, clearly having ran to catch up to him. His breath hitches in his throat as she starts walking towards him, the slightly cloudy summer day blowing her hair around her face.

Felicity stops when she's within inches of him and reaches into her back pocket, pulling out two polaroids and holding them low in front of her face, barely able to conceal her smile. "In case you get lonely… Or tempted by European girls."

A dopey grin spreads across Oliver's face as he takes the pictures, putting them in his jacket pocket without breaking eye contact with her. "I didn't think you'd come."

She steps forward and winds her arms around his neck, fingers playing with the short ends of his hair. "Oliver, I don't care how long you're gone or how many miles are between us. I love you. Nothing will ever change that." Her eyes flick to his from where they'd been trained on his chin, glossy with unshed tears.

"I love you too. So much. This… This isn't the end for us, Felicity. So let's just… Let's not say goodbye this time," Oliver promises passionately, thumb swiping away a fallen tear from her cheekbone before he leans close, lips brushing hers softly but with so much passion and promise that she is thankful his arm is around her waist for fear of falling over. Oliver pulls away but not too far, resting his forehead against hers, both their eyes still closed in an effort to make time stand still.

The boat's horn pulls them back to reality and Oliver steps away, but not before placing one more peck to her lips. He slowly backs away, holding onto her hand until the last possible second, leaving her arm floating in thin air, fingers grasping at nothing. Turning his back to her, he makes his way to the yacht where Tommy is waiting on the top deck, throwing a smile and wave to Felicity who returns it easily. A tear leaks from the corner of his eye, racing down his cheek and he presses the heels of his hands to his eyes, rubbing the moisture from them before joining Tommy up top.

Felicity stands on the pier, watching the Queen's Gambit sailing away on the water, getting smaller and smaller. It's not until it disappears completely that she wipes her tear stained face and makes her way towards the remaining members of the Queen Family.

Thea stands up, grabbing Felicity's hand and squeezing it tightly. "It's okay, Lissy. He'll be back soon."

Throwing the little girl a small smile, Felicity hopes it appears somewhat confident, "I know, Speedy. Now… What do you say we head to Big Belly and get burgers the size of our heads?" She widens her eyes and holds up her hands a few inches apart from each other to exaggerate her offer in the hopes of cheering up the younger Queen.

It apparently works because Thea's eyes light up and she turns to her mom, nearly jumping up and down in place. "Can we, Mom? Pleeaassee!" she begs, puppy dog expression on full display.

Moira smiles down at her and places her hand into Thea's free one, "Of course, sweetheart. Let's go."

Felicity laughs when she releases a shriek of excitement and tugs on her hand, pulling her along the docks and doesn't allow herself to feel sad, but hopeful.