21 | fuse
join or blend to form a single entity
Dusk is settling upon La Push when Emily and Sam's guests begin to murmur their final congratulations and slowly disperse.
I lean against Ethan as we stand in silence, watching the setting sun. "Penny for your thoughts?" he murmurs.
"Nothing. I'm… just thinking about how happy I am. How lucky. I could have fallen in love a thousand times with a thousand different people and it still wouldn't amount to the love I have for you… for us."
His lips ghost over my forehead. "I just wish none of this wolf stuff existed."
There's a lump in my throat as I hear the yearning in his voice. And his yearning becomes mines, and we both want to wish it never happened so badly. "I'll quit," I whisper.
"You can do that?"
"I'll try my best. I'll stop phasing. I'll do it, Ethan. I want to live normally, too. I want to see the world with you and I want to settle down and get married and have a family."
"But the pack…"
"Screw it. They can survive without me." I can feel his hesitance. "I'm sure, Ethan. I don't think I've ever been more sure of anything."
Although rarely one for PDA, Ethan grabs me around the waist and turns me towards him before kissing me deeply, a kiss that embodies his silent thanks. "Come home with me," I blurt.
His brow furrows, uncomprehending.
"My mom is hanging out with Charlie tonight and Seth has patrol. We'll have the house to ourselves," I explain in a rushed breath.
His grip on my waist tightens. "Alright," he whispers.
At home, I lead Ethan to my bedroom and sit him down on the bed. "Leah," he murmurs in between kisses. "We don't have to do anything if you don't want to."
"I want to," I whisper, reaching behind me to pull down the zipper of my dress. And then rose-colored chiffon is down around my ankles, and I am bare in front of Ethan's gaze—the first time I've been this exposed in front of anyone since first shifting. I thought I would feel shy; I am no longer smooth skin and feminine curves as I was before, but hard muscle and scars. And yet, as Ethan's eyes take me in, I am relaxed.
He pulls me into his embrace and we fall onto the bed in a flurry of touches.
The next few weeks are pure bliss. Everyone seems to be in a good mood, from my mother to Emily to Jacob. But I am ecstatic.
I've officially left the pack. Jake was miffed, sure, but he understood—he would do the same for Renesmee, as any other wolf would do for their imprint.
Since I've had all this extra time, I've begun looking into enrolling into classes at the local community college. At this point, I have no idea what I want to do with the rest of my life. Having spent the last few years so constricted in my decisions, I'm not used to having this sort of freedom. I could learn anything, do anything, become anything.
But most of all, Ethan and I are doing great. Ever since that night after Emily's wedding, we've continued to explore our relationship sexually. But beyond that, since we've been spending more time together, we've become stronger than ever.
On this particular lazy Sunday, we're sitting on our log at the beach, hands entwined and my head against his shoulder. "I shouldn't stay so close to you," I murmur, "I might be getting sick."
"Sick? How?" he asks.
"I threw up this morning. I thought it might've been food poisoning at first, but I can't think of anything bad I ate recently. I don't feel sick besides the nausea, though, so maybe it was actually food poisoning."
"You should go to the doctor."
"Yeah, like any doctor wouldn't faint at the sight of my body temperature alone."
"Didn't you say that one of the Cullens was a doctor? Maybe you should go to him."
"I think I'd rather suffer through it than visit Dr. Fang," I respond.
I can almost feel him rolling his eyes in response. "Don't be stubborn," he chides, but his tone has a hint of humor in it. "If you throw up again, you're going to him."
"Fine," I sigh, knowing I probably won't.
Two days later, I throw up again.
"I'm going to call Carlisle," my mother declares as soon as I finish retching.
"I don't need a doctor," I insist. "I'm fine."
She glares at me as she reaches for her cell phone.
An hour later, I'm seated in the Cullens' spare room, under the poking and prodding of Dr. Fang. He asks questions which, when I stubbornly refuse to answer, my mother sighs and answers instead.
"Leah," he says, "when was your last period?"
This question surprises me, and is not one my mother can answer. Now that I think about it, it has been a while. Or does it just feel that way? "I don't know," I respond.
He gives me a look. "Do you mind if we take a urine test?" he says.
Several minutes later, I'm struggling in the Cullens' bathroom. Several minutes after that, Dr. Fang enters the room with a strange look on his face. "Leah," he says gently, "I'm afraid… there's a significant chance that you're pregnant."