i love poker, even though i suck at it. this is a sort of male-bonding chapter here, i guess. i don't know, i just didn't want anymore depressig, Mimi-bitch-spazfests in this chapter. this is supposed to be the night before the trial at the loft. Angel, maureen, Joanne, and Mimi are god knows where...could be that new Shanty-town by the-no, bad! snap out of it!

they just aren't here right now, how bout that?

"Name the game."

"Five card draw."

"Wilds?"

"Collins, wilds are sissy. Real guys don't need no stinking wild cards to play poker," Roger declared. Collins and Mark rolled their eyes and watched as Roger shuffled the cards, then dealt them out into three separate hands. Outside, rain fell slowly and softly in the smoggy night.

Mark picked his up carefully, glanced at them, and slumped in his chair, letting out small moan. Collins had a perfect poker face on, only marred slightly as he laughed a little at Mark. Roger rearranged a few cards and sighed. He pushed a jelly bean into the middle of the table and said, "Ante up, guys."

"I can't believe we're playing with candy. I mean, didn't we used to do this when we were, I dunno, twelve?" Collins mused, dropping a jelly bean into the pile. Mark added his and sat back, still glaring moodily at his cards.

"Maybe. But hey, I'm not above a little sugar boost every now and then," Roger said, idly popping one of his "chips" into his mouth. "Collins, your bet." Collins studied his cards for a minute, then pushed three beans into the center. Mark sighed and shrugged, dropping three of his own jelly beans down beside Collins'.

"I might as well," he said mournfully. Roger rolled his eyes and met them both, taking out the deck and offering it to each of them. As Collins slid one card out of his hand and took one from the deck, he glanced warily at Roger.

"So, Rog…you done any thinking about tomorrow?" Roger's lips pursed slightly, and he shoved the deck a little too hard at Mark. Mark waved him away, declining to take any cards.

"I'm not even going to bother, I'm so dead. Roger, are y—"

"Look, can we please not talk about the trial right now? All I want to do is play poker, so let's just do that, okay?" Roger snapped, slamming two cards down and grabbing two others off the deck. Collins and Mark glanced at each other.

"I was just asking if you wanted any cards," Mark said softly. Roger's shoulders slumped, and he sighed. Without prompting, Collins slid two beans into the pot. Mark wordlessly met him. Roger shrugged and laid his cards flat on the table.

"I'm out. And…sorry, guys, I'm just a little on edge right now." The two of them nodded forcefully. Collins added another three beans and touched Roger comfortingly on the shoulder.

"It's fine, man. If anyone has something to complain about right now, it's you." Mark nodded again and scrutinized his cards woefully. Then, with a sigh that suggested he was being led to the gallows, Mark chipped in three beans and flicked another one forward. Collins raised his eyebrows.

"Mark, you do know how to play poker, right?" Mark rolled his eyes.

"I'm committing poker-suicide, what's it to you?"

"Nothing, nothing," Collins said quickly, meeting Mark's raise. Then he triumphantly showed his hands, spreading the cards into a perfect fan and slapping them down onto the table.

"Straight! Feels good to be raking in the artificial flavoring, doesn't it?" he chuckled, reaching out to cup the pile of jelly beans and draw them towards him. Mark sighed.

"Fine, fine, you got a straight. Lucky you…all I got were these." He laid his cards down forlornly; three queens and a pair of tens. Collins glanced at Mark's cards, then back at the pile of jellybeans. He pulled a beautiful double take next, his head snapping up to stare at the full house presented to him. Roger was struggling not to laugh. Mark shrugged and pushed Collins' hands away, raking the pile over to the rest of his jelly beans. Collins sat back and glared at Mark.

"You evil little albino pumpkin-head…I am never playing poker with you again." Mark rolled his eyes and punched Collins lightly in the shoulder.

"It's just a game, Coll. And it doesn't work more than once, so come on, let's play again." Collins shook his head fiercely. Roger collected the cards and added them to the deck, handing it to Mark, who began to shuffle. Collins watched for a few moments, then sighed and sat forward.

"Deal me in, deal me in…"

"That's the spirit," Roger said, whacking him in the back. Collins swatted Roger's hand away and sulked. Mark smiled and dealt out another hand. Roger's head came up.

"No wilds?"

"No wilds." Roger smiled and looked back down.

The game went, Collins and Mark continually winning almost every game between them until Roger vaguely bet his last jelly bean on a hand that turned out to have a high card of seven. Collins collected the pot and sighed, shooting Mark a look. Mark nodded and began to shuffle the cards, not dealing but perpetually shuffling. Roger didn't notice; he was looking at some spot on the table, hands idly toying with a safety pin. There was a long silence, finally broken by Mark clearing his throat. Collins took that as a cue to snap Roger out of it.

"Rog, what's up? Come down to earth, will you?"

"Hmm? What?" Roger said, looking up with surprise. Mark sighed and kept on shuffling. Collins leaned forward and laid a friendly hand on Roger's shoulder.

"Roger, your mind's not on the game, we can both tell. Hell, from the way you're playing, it's probably flying around somewhere over Tijuana right now." Roger frowned.

"What are you talking about? I'm fine." Mark shook his head slowly.

"Man, you bet six jelly beans when you had a pair of fours. You are not fine, you're thinking about something else." Neither Collins nor Mark voiced what they thought Roger might be thinking about; it was obvious. He looked away from them and crossed his arms.

"Whatever. I guess I'm still a little sleep-deprived or something. And I've just been thinking…about tomorrow, you know…" Roger seemed to have forgotten his conviction not to talk about Mimi's trial. Collins leaned back in his chair now, and Mark stopped shuffling and began to build a card tower. Roger rubbed his eyes. "I don't know…the thing is that I still can't figure out if we're doing the right thing or not. When I think about it…goddamn it, I just don't know!" Roger exploded, banging the table with his fist. Mark's card tower fluttered to the table top. Roger didn't notice. He only shook his head slowly and stared at his fist as though it had the answer to his problems tattooed on the knuckles.

"Roger, what would you want, if it were you?" Collins asked softly. Roger didn't look at him. "Would you want the trial…or would you just want to let this blow over?" Roger shrugged slightly.

"Collins, I don't know, I just don't," he whispered. Mark started arranging the cards by suit, value, and dinginess. Collins nodded.

"Mimi doesn't know either; at least, I don't think she does. I've seen what she puts you through, and I've seen what she puts Angel through, ands I don't think this is really about the trial at all. It seems to like…well, like Mimi is tired of not knowing what to do. She's tired of being helpless about the stuff she wants to change and being in charge of all these decisions that she'd rather let someone else take care of."

"Collins, you've either been listening to Dr. Phil or you need to lay off the weed, man. Since when did you become a psychiatrist?" Roger snapped. Collins held out his hands as though saying he was unarmed.

"Rog, I'm just saying what I think. You know we all want what's best for Mimi…I'm not trying to pry into what's going on with her or between you guys. I'm just saying what I think, okay?" Collins said. Roger glared at the wall, and the room was silent. Then Mark sighed and packed all the cards together again. He started to deal out another hand. The other two let him. Collins slid six jelly beans over to Roger, who flicked one into the pot. Mark and Collins anted up, and Roger started the bet.

i say once more...

GAH.