A/N: So much UST! AGHHH… I love the UST. Sorry if I drag it out.

Edited, revised as of 2/2/17.

Disclaimer: I own nothing!

Chapter 21: Of Giggling Girls and Hair Burning

Rowan Delacroix wanted to murder Remus Lupin for being so dense.

It was the end October, and the first two months had passed quickly. The Marauders and company had fallen into the routines of their N.E.W.T. courses quickly and adjusted as well as they could to the heavy workloads. Rowan was deeply enjoying the more challenging Potions work but also secretly missing Remus' presence in the class, who hadn't continued on with it.

However, right at that moment, she wanted to punch said boy in the throat.

In addition to the stress of schoolwork, the House of Gryffindor was particularly on edge due to Ravenclaw's sudden improvement in Quidditch. To make matters more stressful, their first match of the year was against Ravenclaw, and they knew if their team did not win this match, their chances at the Cup were dismal. Sirius and James had spent the entire past week frantic, discussing strategies and training tips. By the end of it, Rowan was convinced that she'd heard enough to play the match herself.

The Gryffindors had piled into the stadium, decked out in as much red and gold as they could bodily carry. A stuffed roaring lion was being tossed around their section, and each person's face was splattered with red and gold paint. The entire school had come out to watch at the promise of the Quidditch match of the year, and energies were high, to say the least.

Rowan stood in the stands with Remus, Mina, Lily, and Peter, and fifteen minutes into the match, she already wanted to kill Remus.

He'd been strangely attentive with her since coming back to Hogwarts for their Sixth Year, with small gestures and touches that made her heart race. She wanted to write it off, but there was no way she was imagining the new way he'd place his hands on her lower back or brush her legs with his own beneath the tables in the library. She'd seen the way he'd smirk at her smugly out of the corner of his eye when she'd react to these small touches, and her blood boiled knowing that he was teasing her for fun.

He was being particularly insufferable this day. The group was standing at the front of the stands with a perfect view of the pitch, and as the teams flew out, taking a few warm-up laps around the pitch, James had flown over to Rowan to exchange their customary lucky handshake. As he flew off, he'd turned and winked at Lily, who blushed to her roots, which surprised Rowan and she made a mental note of it. Rowan's face burned as she felt Remus' hand creep onto her lower back as it had done so frequently as of late, and she felt a surprising surge of anger at his smug grin at her reaction. Throughout the match, he would lean over and ask her questions lowly about her opinions on the strategies and players, his voice deeply rumbling in her ear, and by the time they headed back to the castle in the crowd of screaming of Gryffindors, she was a throbbing ball of hormones.

Gryffindor won: 220-100.

The Marauders always threw a huge party in the Gryffindor Common Room after Quidditch matches - win or lose - and after such a tense match, spirits were explosive; however, Rowan could not let go as her many peers had, for Mina had abandoned her to flirt with some Seventh Year boys, and Lily looked so nervous for some reason that Rowan thought she might implode. Sirius and James were obviously in their element, though the hero of the night had undoubtedly been Zachariah Billington, the Fourth Year Seeker. The two older boys had been carrying their younger teammate around on their shoulders all night with Peter nervously scurrying around them. The young Seeker looked delighted to be the focus of attention of his popular teammates and visibly glowed. Rowan was extremely pleased for the smaller boy but also frustrated, as this left her with Remus.

Remus hadn't hovered over her at the party as he had done at the match, but every now and then, he'd lean over and touch the back of her neck lightly or whisper something to her, breath hitting her ear. She jealously also noted the flirtatious way he'd smile at the other Gryffindor girls, who annoyingly had seemed to have noticed the changes in him from the summer and had taken to giggling at every sight of him. Every time she saw his damn gaggle of girls, she wanted to burn all of their hair, including Remus'.

As she watched yet another girl walk away giggling, she felt a spark of anger – he was toying with her! Obviously, the attentions of whatever French girls over the summer had gone to his head! She imagined hotly a smug Remus on the beach surrounded by faceless girls with golden hair, and she suddenly wanted to do physical harm to something. By the time he'd turned back around, she'd stormed off as subtly as she could, joining Mina and her harem of Seventh Year boys.

Rowan avoided Remus for the rest of the party as much as possible, trying to enjoy the older boys' attentions, but her heart wasn't in it. Remus had changed over the summer, and sure, it was probably just a quick phase, but didn't his blatant flirting show just how little he cared about her as a girl? They were certainly still friends, but if he could flirt and tease her like any other girl as he had been, then obviously he didn't really see her any differently - he was becoming nearly as bad as Sirius. The realization seared the back of her throat.

The Gryffindors finally started trickling off slowly around 1 a.m., and Rowan peeled herself from Mina and the group of older boys feeling slightly suffocated as the conversation had become more intimate with the late hours. She suddenly felt like she needed some air and discreetly stepped out of the Portrait Hole, sitting quietly on the stairs, relishing the silence and the cold marble against the backs of her legs.

Of all the boys in her life who could have changed for the worse, she wondered why it had to be Remus. Their year already had enough cocky jerks in it [their two friends in particular], so why did Remus decide such a persona was fitting for him as well?

And what did this mean for her? If he was no longer the boy who had charmed her, then where was he and how could she find him? What if she couldn't? She had waited these two long months for a sign that he would snap out of this phase, but this new Remus seemed to be here for good. Rowan stared up at the high dark ceilings of the castle and wondered how long it would take for her to let go.

She was brought out of her moment of contemplation by a creaking noise and realized that the Fat Lady had swung open again, revealing a certain Remus Lupin. He looked around briefly before noticing her on the stairs and gave her a confused smile. Rowan couldn't quite meet his eye, though he didn't seem to notice, as he sat down next to her, dangerously close. She silently thanked Merlin that he kept his hands clasped in front of him.

"You okay?" he asked, slight concern written on his face.

Rowan nodded, not looking at him. "Yeah, just feeling a bit overwhelmed by the party – needed some quiet," she said, hoping that he'd take the hint and go back inside.

Unfortunately, he didn't, leaning back so that he was reclined against the staircase. She felt his gaze burning a hole through the back of her head and wished that she could be anywhere else. Her face was burning and her internal dialogue was screaming at a million words a minute in her head, screaming at him to leave her alone.

"Did you see James drop Lacey Jones from his broomstick? It was pretty funny," joked Remus. For the first time, Rowan felt his voice unpleasantly, resisting the urge to cringe.

"No, I guess I missed that," she said simply, still staring out and down the staircase.

"He nearly tore her hair out, trying to hold her back on the broomstick and ended up falling on top of her knee," continued Remus. Rowan nodded vacantly, still wishing he would take a hint and leave.

Remus leaned forward again, looking at her now with a serious expression. "Are you sure you're okay?" he asked quietly.

Rowan flinched. "Yeah, I'm fine," she answered quickly, and she mentally kicked herself for the shrill tone of her voice. "I just need a minute. You should go back inside. I think Suzanne Bowlin was looking for you." She tried to muster her usual teasing grin, but she thought bitterly that it must look very forced.

Remus frowned with an indecipherable expression on his face, and to her horror, he reached a hand out and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. As she felt his fingers graze her highly sensitized skin, she impulsively slapped his hand away.

They both looked shocked at her sudden action, and Remus stammered, eyes wide, in a way that made her desperately miss the Remus from the year before.

"Rowan, I - I –"

She clenched her eyes shut in embarrassment before jumping to her feet. "Just – just drop it, okay? Go back to your fucking fan girls and leave me alone!" she blurted out loudly, red in the face and head pounding. "You're so fucking dense!"

She shouted the password at the Fat Lady, who had been listening nosily to their exchange and looked suddenly affronted at Rowan's outburst. She harrumphed but swung open for Rowan, who scrambled inside ungracefully, leaving a very bewildered Remus on the stairs.

Rowan walked briskly around the perimeter of the Common Room towards the girls' dorms, desperately hoping that no one noticed her. Unfortunately, James stepped into her line of vision grinning and mouth open to speak but frowned when he saw her red face and the serious line of her mouth.

"Everything okay?" he asked worriedly.

Rowan barked in frustration, "I'm fine! Just leave me alone!" before pushing him to the side and running up the spiral staircase. As soon as she reached her room, she stormed past her roommates, who were all preparing for bed and gossiping, and made a beeline for the bathroom, tearing off her clothes and throwing herself into the shower. As she stood motionless under the water, the searing cold stream made her shiver, but it quickly warmed and the sound of falling water settled a quiet but sad calm in her.

She'd made a right fool of herself, and now, she'd have to apologize to Remus. Her jealousy was obvious, and she knew that he wasn't dumb enough to have missed it when she'd essentially screamed it at him. She just prayed that he'd take pity on her and pretend like it hadn't happened. After everything they'd been through, the thought of losing him as her best friend simply because she couldn't keep her feelings under control stung the backs of her eyes, and a few hot tears escaped and merged with the flowing water, trickling down the drain of the shower.

Remus stepped quietly into the Common Room after sitting out in the hallway for another minute after Rowan's sudden departure. The dark voice in him roared victoriously, deafeningly, at Rowan's blatant jealousy, but the shrill anger and hurt in her voice immediately sobered him. Perhaps he'd taken it too far. He admitted to himself silently that he'd allowed his newfound popularity with the girls go to his head – he'd always been overlooked in comparison to James and Sirius, and the sudden attention had been secretly thrilling. He didn't think Rowan would react so violently to it though.

As he looked around the Common Room, he noted that she'd gone to bed and sighed disappointedly. James, however, was standing close to the Portrait Hole and immediately grabbed Remus' attention. The dark-haired boy walked quickly up to Remus and asked, almost accusingly, "What happened to Winnie?"

Remus flinched at the sight of James furrowed eyebrows. His face rarely took on such a serious expression. "We just –" Remus began but realized quickly that he didn't know how to finish the statement. He paused to think for a moment then sighed. "I can't really explain it, Prongs. Can you just drop it for now?" While James had already assumed Remus' feelings for his oldest friend, Remus didn't feel comfortable yet telling him what had transpired between the two. The thought of Rowan's anger held him back.

James seemed to assess Remus, and though his face remained serious, his expression softened. "Okay," he conceded. "But if you fucked something up and I have to pick up the pieces, I swear I'm going to leave flobberworms in your bed every night until the day we graduate."

Remus grinned ruefully and responded, "Deal."

As he laid in bed thinking about how he'd approach Rowan the next day, he realized that he'd have to make his intentions clear. He hadn't planned on revealing his feelings so soon, but the obvious hurt he'd caused her made him rethink his strategy. He had secretly enjoyed the small twinges of jealousy that he'd seen on her face whenever he flirted with the other girls, but he'd never expected her to be so hurt by it and suddenly felt a pang of regret.

But then a grin spread across his face. She had been jealous. Her violent reaction to him tonight indicated that she at least felt some sort of romantic attraction to him, and his chest clenched tightly at the knowledge. The thought of confessing his feelings for her kept him awake for most of the night, and when he finally fell asleep in the early morning hours, he was warm with hope for the next day.