Chapter 21:

It was so awful, every single awful memory was being dragged up, and through it all I could actually feel the pain inflicted on me through the memories, or was it from the potion? I couldn't tell what was real or fake anymore. Suddenly Dumbledore appeared and said "Oh dear." He muttered some words, and the pain was gone, but the memories had done their job, I was ready for it to all end. I looked up at Dumbledore, and as everything was going black I heard myself beg, "Please! Just end it now. Please..." Everything swam in and out of focus, I remember Dumbledore leaving me for a moment, and going after Harry. He looked dead but Dumbledore said he was alive or at least I think he did. Then everything lost focus for me, I was still living in my past, and I had just wanted it to be over, who deserved this? I lived through this once why again? Suddenly when I was hazily aware of my surroundings I saw I was in, the hospital, and Jonathan was giving me something to drink. Wait why is he here? "No, no, no." I screamed shaking my head. Somebody hurried over and spoke quietly and softly to me. I realized this person wasn't anyone in my family, so I accepted the drink, and finally I fell into a blissful dreamless sleep.

When I woke up I looked around, and saw I was alone. I sighed, and then my eye caught somebody standing above me! I started to freak out, when I realized it was Dumbledore. I breathed a sigh of relief, but I wasn't ready to talk to anybody. I don't think I would ever be able to talk to anybody again. "Ahh your awake." I just nodded. I was really worried about Harry but I was going to be resilient in not speaking, whenever I spoke it always got other people in trouble, my life at least taught me a lesson. "Hmm," Dumbledore said his eyes staring at me trying to pierce right into me. I could feel him trying to go into my mind, and I closed it off. I had so much practice with guarding myself in the muggle world it early translated into the magic world. "So I can see that you our skilled at guarding your mind. Would care to tell me then what exactly is bothering you?" He spoke kindly and gently, and I felt the small urge to tell him, but I knew the repercussions. "No? Well Arrington it is your choice but I urge you to talk to somebody. When you bottle up things the way you do, it has awful repercussions on yourself. It starts to consume your very being, your soul, and it's all you can think of. The awful things, whatever happened to you, I can't fix. Sadly I can't go back in time, and put you with your brother, and I will forever have to live with that. But I share these things with people, they help me reassure me. Arrington you are closing yourself off, and I hate to see that. Please talk to somebody." I shook my head. I thought of a question I really wanted to ask, I didn't feel like speaking yet so I tried to see if I could close off only part of my mid and let him see the question. It must have worked because Dumbledore nodded and said, "She's your Aunt. Your fathers sister, I didn't expect it to be that bad, but than again." He said trailing off. "Just promise me, that you'll think about talking okay?" I just nodded, although I had no intention of ever talking to somebody.

He seemed content with that though and then said, "I should probably allow Madam Pomfrey to attend to you, so you are allowed to go the feast. Harry just left to go, so let's get you all caught up to him." Madam Pomfrey fussed over me, for a while, and then finally let me go. I walked to the banquet alone and during that time I used it to think. I decided, that if not for my sake, but for Harry's and my friends I would act happy. Dumbledore would think I talked and all would be perfect for everybody, except for me. But that's the way the world works. Somebody always ends up getting the short stick, and yet they hide that fact to make sure everyone else is okay, when they themselves are not. So it decided, I will put up a wall so thick, that nobody would ever be able to break through it again. With this thought in mind I walked through the halls doors, and into the awaiting feast.

Dumbledore was talking already, so nobody yelled or talked, but they all craned their heads to look at me. I quietly went to sit down by Harry as Dumbledore, kept talking when I finally caught wind of what he was saying, it was the ending, his speech was over and we all started eating. Harry looked at me and before he could ask, I just smiled and said, "Good to see you guys all are okay." They nodded and we all laughed. Mine was a bit forced seeing how we all weren't okay, but nobody seemed to notice. When the feast was over, Dumbledore stood up and cleared the plates. "Now, as I understand it, the house cup here needs awarding, and the points stand thus: In fourth place, Gryffindor, with three hundred and twelve points; in third, Hufflepuff, with three hundred and fifty-two; Ravenclaw has four hundred and twenty-six and Slytherin, four hundred and eighty- two."

Everyone except Syltherin groaned, and a few people glanced at Harry, Hermione, and Neville glaring at them. "But," Dumbledore said and everyone grew quiet, "Recent events must be taken into account. To Mr. Ronald Weasly, I award 50 points, for the best played wizards chess game Hogwarts has ever seen. To Mrs. Hermione Granger, for the ever cleverness of logic, in the face of danger, I award Gryffindor 50 points. To Mr. Harry Potter, for bravery beyond sorts, and courage to face whatever comes at him I award him 60 points. To Mr. Neville Longbottom I award him 10 points. It's hard enough to stand up to your enemies, but even harder to stand up to your friends." "We're tied with Slytherin." People started whispering and cheering. Then Dumbledore started speaking again and everything immediately went silent. "And to Mrs. Arrington Potter, for facing the deepest darkest fears of all, I award her 70 points. Now if my calculations are correct I believe a change of decorations is in order." He clapped his hands and everything changed from green to red and gold. Everyone except Syltherin started cheering and screaming. Harry turned and smiled at me. And I smiled back.

After the feast, and then the long train ride it was hard to have to say goodbye to everybody, despite me thinking I was going to have to fake everything I found my friends and brother could always keep my mind off it, sure it was still there it always was. "Promise me you guys will write everyday." Hermione said. As we were getting off the train. I looked up from the scrap book Hagrid had given us and smiled at Hermione. "Well not everyday." Ron said rolling his eyes and sharing a look with Harry. "Don't worry Hermione, I promise we will write." I said. "It's strange to think we are going home after all this time." Hermione commented. "I'm not really going home." Harry and me said at the same time. Both Hermione and Ron looked at us weirdly.

We then all hugged goodbye, and me and Harry made our way to where the Dursleys were standing glaring at everyone and looking very put off. "Hello." Uncle Vernon grunted then turned and walked towards his car, and Dudley and Aunt Petunia quickly followed suit. I could see Hermione and Ron gaping at them in shock. I nudged Harry and he followed my gaze and immediately started laughing. We waved goodbye, and got into the car, but I knew it wasn't goodbye forever, I still had next year, and the next year and the next.