Chapter 21

The ride to the arena for tonight's house show with Phil was quiet. I was a little nervous about what had just happened between us in the hotel room. He actually kind of scared me when he said that soon I would beg him to bite me. It didn't make sense to me. Why would I beg him to bite me if it hurt so damn bad? Maybe I should heed Randy's warning about Phil being obsessive and creepy. But then again, maybe I should heed Phil's warning about Randy being a player and self-obsessed. I keep wondering how I keep getting myself into situations like this. Maybe I should have just gone on another date with Ted. There didn't seem to being any mental or personality problems with him.

We walked in silence from the parking lot into the back door of the arena that the roster used. I told Phil that I was going to go find my brother and talk to him.

"All right. I'm leaving around ten o'clock if you want a ride back to the hotel," he said as he bent down to kiss me on the cheek. "I hope I didn't creep you out by what happened earlier between us. I really did mean it when I said I wasn't going to hurt you. And you're right, maybe we did move too fast there for a minute. I like you. I think you're a pretty cool girl, I don't want to scare you off."

"I think it would be best if we took it slower. I mean, I did just meet you last night and all," I replied as I felt my face starting to turn pink with a blush.

"Yeah, but look how far we came together from just meeting each other last night. There's something I really like about you and I'm glad you gave me a chance and decided not to listen to whatever bullshit Randall was trying to give you about me."

"He didn't say too much…." I trailed off, not really wanting to tell Phil what Randy had told me about him.

It looked like he was going to say something else, but instead he stopped and his eyes glazed over with annoyance. I turned around to see who he was looking at. I was greeted by the kind eyes of my big brother. "Hey, Johnny," I said softly. I turned to Phil, "I'll catch up with you later?" He just nodded and turned away and started to walk down the hallway to wherever he was going.

"Sara, we should talk," John said quietly while he looked down at his feet. "I know you're really mad at me right now, and I don't blame you, I'll admit that I am kind of a nerd and a little over protective of you, but, well, that's just who I am, squirt."

"I know, John, I know. But you also need to realize that, me and you, we're different people. We might be from the same family and we grew up together, but I'm my own person. I lived on my own for five years and I got along just fine without someone looking over my shoulder all of the time. I can make my own decisions; yeah, they might be bad decisions or regrettable, but they're my decisions. No one can make them but me. You understand?"

"Yeah, I understand, but you have to see where I'm coming from too. You took off without a word one night and no one heard from you for over five years. It was just by chance that I found you that night in the alley. Shit, Sara, if I hadn't come along when I did, who knows what would have happened to you?"

I had been blocking that night out for a while now; I didn't want to think about it. It had been scary and unreal that something so horrible like that could have ever happened to me. John was right; I did owe him. I owed him a lot and I should probably stop acting like a brat. "I'm sorry, Johnny. I'm sorry I yelled at you this morning and I'm sorry that I took off so fast with Phil like that. But I was just so frustrated with having no sleep and having to deal with all of the bullshit that Randy has been putting on me the last couple of days. I really don't get him."

"I don't get him either; that's just how he is though. He's complicated. He's my best friend and everything, but there really is still no excuse for how he treated you. Maybe I'll talk to him about leaving you alone."

I didn't want John to do that; I didn't want him to go into super over-protective brother mode. "No, that's all right; I can handle myself."

"Are you sure? I mean, I know you can probably handle yourself with Randy, but are you sure you can handle yourself around Punk? I mean, he's not the nicest guy in the world…." he trailed off.

"Why do you keep saying that? I think he's a nice guy, he's funny, he makes me laugh. He hasn't made me do anything that I haven't wanted to do with him."

"Wait, why did you say that?" John asked, his voice starting to rise with anger.

"Say what?" I replied, confused.

"Why did you say that he hasn't made you do anything you haven't wanted to do? What has he been trying to talk you into, Sara?" Now John's blue eyes were flashing with anger. I should have kept my mouth shut.

"Nothing."

"Bullshit. You've known the guy for barely twenty four hours, what has he been trying to do with you?"

"Nothing!"

"Don't lie to me, Sara Jean. Tell me. Has he been trying to sleep with you?

"For God's sake, no he hasn't John. And even if he had been, it wouldn't be any of your business anyways!" I was almost shouting at this point. Who the hell did John think he was to try and run my love life like this?

"You know what, Sara? I'm not going to argue with you about this anymore. You're right; you're grown, go ahead and make your own decisions about a guy you hardly know. Go on and date a guy who is a crazy ass straight edge freak. See how that turns out for you. But don't come crying to me when he hurts you. He's an asshole. An obsessive asshole that doesn't have good intentions with women' all he wants to do is control them for his own sick games. But, hey, you're grown and you know everything about everything!" he shouted before he turned on his heel and stomped away from me.

"He's wrong you, know…." a quiet voice said from behind me. I turned around and saw that Phil had just witnessed that entire altercation between me and my brother. "I'm not a bad guy; I have some issues, everybody does, but I wouldn't hurt you. And I do have good intentions with you. I'm not like a lot of other guys, I'm not going to take you out to a bar to get you drunk and then drag you back to my hotel room and have sex with you. I'm not like that at all, Sara," he said softly as he pushed my hair off of my shoulders. "Have faith," he whispered as he leaned down to kiss me gently on the lips. I let him kiss me, and I kissed him back, enjoying the feeling of his lips on mine. He broke the kiss with a soft bite to my bottom lip. He pulled away and smiled at me. "Have faith," he said softly again before he turned away from me and walked down the hallway to the locker room.