Omake' stuff: I had my muses telling me one day (in my mind) that I have really been too cliche' with how the hell Naruto would just run away because of a simple reason like his not-so-straight orientation. So, here are a few chapters to answer their obvious rantings. Sorry for this chapter guys, but I really had to explain so this story wouldn't sound too cliche'.
This chapter I decided to make a strong plot anchor. Yes, that's right! If anyone has complaints, let them draw their swords and come fight me! –looks around- Uh…anyway, try to look out for small details in this chapter. This is where I establish things once and for all before I try to delve into the story more.
And for the record, yes, I am going to torture you readers by the slowness of this fic. –grins evilly- I'm gonna slap your logic with painful memories and flashbacks to make you understand why Naruto ran away that fated night. Oh…and just for the record…I'd say I'm about seventy-six percent from finishing this fic…so…it's long. –doesn't know what to make of the situation. Gah! I've never written a fic for this long!-
A line break means a shift of views from the movie to the real world. (You'll get what I mean…)
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A single dash means scene change
Chapter 21
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Kyuubi's Memories 1
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-static-
"Huh?"
Naruto woke up, blue eyed, searching where he was located. It was a very dark place, ironically warm and homey. He was lying on a non-existent floor, his eyes curiously spying the area around him.
"Dare…dare' datte bayo?" He wondered, idly scratching the back of his head.
A small scuffling behind him alerted of a presence. Turning around, he saw no one except a handsome man dressed in the most intricate of male kimonos. His red hair idly flowed behind him, separating into nine distinct braids.
"Konbawa…Naruto-kun." He spoke in the most beautiful timbre voice a male could exert.
The blonde's eyes widened in familiarity at that voice.
"Kyuubi-kun!" He laughed, running towards him and burying himself into the taller man's chest.
"Maa…maa…such a long time too, Naruto-kun." He partook with the blonde's cheerful spirit, carrying the blonde up and swirling themselves into a whirlwind of laughs and camaraderie.
"Na, na Kyuubi-san! Where were you for the past few days? You feel a lot stronger too, eh eh?" Naruto happily took the bowl of popcorn Kyuubi conjured out of nowhere. The man only patted the blonde's head as he walked in front of the wondering boy's sight.
"Naruto-kun…do you want to watch a special show?" Kyuubi smiled gently, his lips curled in a smirk. He bent forward to meet the blonde's eye level.
"A show, Kyuubi-kun?" Naruto tilted his head in wonder, his mouth half-munching the popcorn.
"Hai, hai. Little kitsune-kun." Kyuubi bowed, and brought his hands together. Smoke issued from them, and he slowly disappeared.
"Enjoy the show, Naruto-san…" His voice whispered.
A very large screen sputtered into life at once, flooding the boy with light from static and blue flickers.
"Oh wow! A giant television! Inside my mind!" He exclaimed obnoxiously, eyeing the screen in wonder.
"Sugoi! Sugoi!" The blonde clapped in awe as the wide screen of light toned down into darkness, cheering in front of him before calming down to snag into his endless bowl of popcorn. He momentarily quieted down when numbers suddenly counted down in front of him.
10…
9…
8…
7…
6…
5…
4…
3…
The view shifted from the moon towards a small village from afar, riotous music and lights hovering like a strange mist above the houses and buildings. In one of the main streets of the village…
"HEY, YOU LITTLE PIPSQUEAK! JUST WAIT TILL I GET MY HANDS ON YOU!"
A blonde child turned around, his eyes wide in wonder and fear at whoever called his attention. He quickly fell down when a rock hit him dead center between his eyes. He fell, clutching the now oozing wound, the bottle containing a butterfly he caught, broken beside him, as it fell from his hand in favor of the injury.
There was no time to express hurt however, when instinct told him to take arms and run away as fast as he can.
"Get that damned kid! GET HIM!"
"How dare he show up in here, that ungrateful brat! He has no right to be here during the festival!"
Why…
The blonde blindly ran, the blood trying to deter his vision. It was starting to form a thick crust already, the liquid part forming crimson lines in his skin.
Why can't I join and be just as happy as they are?
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Please! Just leave me alone!" He pleaded, not turning back whether to see if they were still chasing him or not. Street lamps shone his path brightly, mocking him that he deserved to be in the dark and not here.
Leave here! Bastard child, you have no right to be here! The lights jeered at him.
"I'll leave! I'll leave!" He shouted to no one in particular. His tears mingled with the blood, his arms flailed endlessly in fright. He only slowed down when he felt grass cushioning his each stride, and dew wetting the toes of his feet.
He was back in the field where he caught the butterfly earlier.
He sobbed softly, staring back at the mass of lights in the village. How he wanted to be there…to enjoy the sights and sounds of the annual festival…to be in the light for at least once in his childhood…to not hide in the darkness of his apartment…
Why am I alone…why is papa not here?
He shivered as he sat down by a tree, attempting to ease the pain with sleep. Even the wind seemed to gang up on him. With luck, maybe he'd just keel over and die from hypothermia…
"I just wanna die…" the blonde whispered softly, tears endlessly flowing, as his crying lulled him to sleep outside in the cold field.
I just wanna die…
Those words slipped off the child's lips, who was but a mere six year old.
Those words, wishing for death, were uttered on the day when life started for him.
Those words, he wished for on the day of his birth.
"C'mon, oyaji! I wanna work here!"
Naruto held his hands together and knelt before the consternated chef of Ichiraku. The blonde had momentarily gone on a state of insanity to ask him if he could have a part-time job here.
"Please, please, please, please, please, please…" Naruto held his hands tighter, his mouth mumbling the same mantra again and again. The cook just sighed, before rubbing a throbbing vein on his forehead.
He sighed once more, wanting to buy time over his decision. "Can you tell me WHY you need this job again?"
"Maa…maa…I need to feel responsible. Hokage-sama and Iruka-sensei have done enough for me. But I…" Naruto swallowed that ball of spit, which would always come with revelations.
"I…just want to feel I belong somewhere..."
The blonde's cheerful spirit seemed to have disappeared all of a sudden.
"People don't want me to work for them…it seems like they just hate me coz' I'm Naruto. Is it because I'm too obstinate? Or maybe I'm just a bit of a loudmouth? Or…" He swallowed the thought.
"...I'm a bastard just like they say I am…"
The man looked thoughtfully at him, albeit sadly. He understood the blonde, the same way those two persons, Iruka-san and the Hokage, understood him. He finally relented, earning a mass of blonde on him. Naruto looked happy for the first time in his life, just so happy.
It felt like he belonged to something for the first time in his life.
Sadly, the boy had to resign after two weeks. It was willful in his part, even though the cook and his assistant protested. They partly knew the reason why, but they really did not want to feel that they rejected him.
Naruto had heard behind his back that Ichiraku was steadily losing customers…because of him. Patrons and regulars would turn a disgusted eye at him and declare the loss of their appetite. The cook didn't mind the sudden disappearance of their usuals, but Naruto cared.
"Naruto…" The cook sighed, not wanting to start an argument he knew he was going to lose.
"It's okay, oyaji…I understand they hate me…but I don't want you to be hated too. Ichiraku remains to be another home for me…and I don't wanna lose it because I'm selfish." Naruto grinned an almost painful smile, as he agonizingly removed the apron he had come to love. Behind the forced grin, he brushed off a tear that fell.
Both the cook and his assistant only hung their heads in shame, not wanting to admit that what the boy was doing is right for them.
He still smiled though, gave a pat on their backs and took up that tenacious smile once more. The cook's heart warmed on the gesture, and promised Naruto free meals on some occasions when business would boom once more. The blonde conceded, though behind his back he wanted to deny it.
After all, it was his fault that Ichiraku suffered their first business slump.
"Kyuubi?" The blonde called out to the darkness around him. Tears were bound to fall from his blue eyes any minute, his voice starting to break into different pitches, just like an adolescent would when their voices would change.
"I don't wanna watch anymore! I don't like sad stories!" The blonde spoke louder, his first tear falling down.
"Please stop this…" He pleaded, angrily wiping the tear away.
Do you know where you are going, Naruto-kun?
Naruto looked around, unable to know where the voice was coming from. It almost sounded like it came from his head.
Do you know what you want?
Naruto shook his head in innocent denial. He felt inside that he had an ambition of being Hokage, but he gently forced it away.
Then let me show you. Let me show you what made you as the way you are and what you will do. WHAT you can and must do.
Naruto numbly nodded, albeit not sure this time. Rubbing another tear, he forced himself to watch the movie once more.
The alleyway beside the market was filled with cries and the sound of leather snapping.
"Yamete! Yamete!" The blonde cried, tears jerked off everytime the whip landed on the bare of his back.
"Do.You.Think.Bastards.Learn.Enough?" The man gritted out, as he punctuated each word with a strike of the weapon at hand. Naruto's back was now mottled with drying blood and freshly made wounds.
"Kuso…I never stole your damned fruits…bas-tard…" He spoke through unheeded lashes. Each strike made his breath shallower and shallower.
The man's eyes widened at the audacity of the blonde, and brought the whip harder and harder on the back of the child. "HOW DARE YOU INSULT ME! And you still have the nerve to lie to me!" He grinned maniacally, finding an excuse to extend the punishment a bit longer.
"Aaaah!" The blonde arched at that last hit. "Aaaaaagh!"
The man grimaced once more. "Admit it! Just admit to your crimes, bastard child! Then maybe I'll let you off sooner." He lashed his hardest just for effect, the whip tearing a long line on the blonde's back.
"Aagh…" The blonde failed to hold back hot tears, trailing down the miniscule wounds on his cheeks. The salt on the liquid burned the blonde, who creased his face in an effort to moderate the pain. "I…did not…DO IT!"
He bit his lower lip once more. "And stop calling me a bastard child!"
The man grew a vein on his forehead, and with one resounding stroke, left the blonde kneeling on the dirty alley. His eyes leered dangerously at the boy before he left.
"You should thank me for calling you a bastard…" He spat at his side, the blonde glared at him with his one good eye.
"…I could call you worse than what you deserve. Ch…" He disappeared at the corner of the alley.
The blonde stood up, shakily, his knuckles turning white at the effort of controlling himself. The man looked almost too good to just deserve a broken back and several dislocated joints…courtesy of him.
But in the end…he just sniffed a little, eyed and grasped his riotous orange jacket that was thrown at the side, and spat his blood-tainted spit before he just walked away to tend to his wounds.
"Kuso…" Naruto clamped his jaws tight as the alcohol-soaked cotton ball lightly skimmed across his wounded back. The floor of his room was littered with red: used cotton and gauze messily dropped onto the floor.
"Ouch…" He failed to hold the searing sensation off when the fibers stuck themselves onto a scab on his back. Naruto braced himself as he tore the ball away, dragging a somewhat large piece of scar tissue with it. The blonde looked horrified and immediately dropped the material.
His eyes gazed in terror at the scab that was once stuck in the wounds on his back. He had never thought how horrible and terrifying his own blood can look like. His eyes contorted to that of hate immediately. Lovely hate…
"THAT'S IT! Tomorrow, I'm gonna show Iruka-sensei what they did to me! Hokage will punish them!" Naruto thought, banging his fist on the table.
A few more moments, he decided to lie on his stomach in the couch, favoring his back. He wanted the evidence on his back to dry well, and gave thought that he didn't want his back to get stuck on his bed if he slept on it. The couch would prevent him from uselessly turning around. He smiled weakly, thinking about justice to be delivered tomorrow…
"But…Iruka-sensei!"
The blonde slammed both of his hands in the teacher's desk. It was morning, a few more minutes before classes would start.
The boy stood shirtless before his teacher, his orange jacket clumsily shoved into the nearest table. He turned his back on the Chuunin before him, who constantly sweatdropped.
"Naruto…there is nothing on your back. Can't you understand that?" Iruka gently rebuked the blonde's claim that there were wounds (Iruka thought of the words 'festering') on his back.
"But…but…" The blonde sputtered, blindly feeling his back. "…I don't understand! I had wounds…this guy whipped me…and…and…kept calling me bastard…I…why aren't there wounds in here anymore?"
"Naruto…"
"NO! There are wounds here yesterday, and I will prove it!" Naruto was almost crying.
Iruka just sighed miserably, not wanting to indulge the blonde on another of his 'I've-been-physically-abused-before-but-where-the-hell-is-my-evidence' goose chases.
"Listen, Naruto…" Iruka tried to reason.
"NO! You listen Iruka-sensei! I've just had enough of people treating me like nothing! It's not fair for me anymore!" Naruto found strength in the anger building inside him.
"I won't let them affect me! I won't let them hurt me anymore! I won't love! I won't feel! I'll just stay as myself, and be happy even if people will hurt me!" Naruto yelled, his eyes flowing with hot tears.
"Naruto! Stop it!" Iruka yelled back, surprised at his emotions.
The blonde continued rambling, not even listening to the man he considered his friend anymore. "If I won't love, I'll never get hurt…If I won't feel, I will forget what pain is…" The blonde clutched his knuckles at his side.
"However, I will become Hokage! I'll never give up that ambition! One day…people will recognize me and know that I exist!" Naruto gazed at the floor fiercely; fighting back the sudden need to cry again.
The blonde's blue eyes widened immediately, when he felt his teacher come up to him, kneeled behind him, and gently embraced him in the most comfortable hug he ever felt…probably his first and only hug…
"That's right, Naruto…don't give up on any dream…do what you can to reach it…" Iruka whispered softly, his breath tickling Naruto's ear.
"But…don't give up on your ability to love and feel…"
"Out of the things that you would be willing to throw away…you may throw your life and your dignity if you must…but never throw your ability to love…"
"Love separates us from any other creature…only humans and those who share our trait can love so deeply…" Iruka tightened his embrace, earning a mild gasp from the blonde. Tears were slowly forming on his eyes, as memories of his parents that night flashed in his mind again.
"Love gives us wonderful things, Naruto…it gives us the ability to feel what others feel…it provides strength in the most desperate times of our lives…it gives us hope when everything is lost…it will give us light if this world should fall into darkness…"
"Do you understand…Naruto?" Iruka raised his broken voice slightly, sniffing a bit when his tears just fell down one by one. God…he hated how pathetic he can be sometimes…
Naruto nodded slightly, doubtful and unwilling.
"Good…"
The chuunin slowly walked back to his seat, his eyes carefully hidden in the shade of his hitai-ate. The bell rang all of a sudden, and all the other students came in the classroom, eyeing the half-naked Naruto curiously before settling in their seats.
I'm sorry, Iruka-sensei…but I don't want to love anymore…I can't trust to care about others…because all I can expect from the people around me is hate…
If one day when I would need it…I'll also hate you Iruka-sensei…and on that day…I hope you'll still love me and not hate me for what I would feel towards you and everyone else…
Then maybe…He fixed his eyes on the chuunin before him, cheerily greeting the other students that arrived.
I'll understand what this 'love' is all about…
"Sob…sob…sniff…" Naruto shivered in his seat, randomly swallowing whatever was trying to well up his throat. He was shivering, sweat running profusely across his features.
The blonde gazed at the memory before him, terrified, as if something in it was too right to be wrong…
"Why…" His eyes frantically traveled towards the sad blonde in the screen." Why do I feel that I…I know him…that child...I can somehow feel...what he's feeling..." Naruto shook even more, as if on the verge of hypothermia.
A small object suddenly caught his attention by his side. Naruto eyed it warily before grasping it with his left hand.
It was a small hand mirror, with a red and simple hand frame.
The blonde gasped, when blue eyes met with his.
And it fell.
And the boy with the innocent, sad blue eyes looking back from the mirror shattered.
And now he understood who the boy was.
And he was terrified of who he was...
And what he will become.
His attention was brought back to the wide screen before him, for the show was still far from finished...
Revised. Some few things.