Disclaimer: Stephenie owns all things twilight.
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Selfish 21
Carlisle... Carlisle... Carlisle...
Has become the bane of my existence.
Completely.
In the months that have gone by...
Two of them.
I've heard about that man more than when I lived with him.
Another bane has come in the name of Anthony Masen.
That man is unstoppable.
He is determined, infuriating, sexy, and such a goddamn mad man.
He has made it his lifetime goal to mend my broken marriage.
Yeah... not happening, no matter how desperate I become.
Everywhere I go, Anthony appears, ready with the latest news about Carlisle... how he's doing this, and he's doing that, oh and he's so wonderful and so devoted and he still loves me and he blah... blah... blah..
BLAH!
But does Anthony listen... No!
He just goes on and on...
Come on... even when I feel guilty I don't take extremes to fix my problems.
Another issue has come in the name of Alice.
The three stooges, formerly known as Rosalie, Jasper, and Emmett...
Have concluded that Anthony and Alice are double teaming me...
Earning them the nickname of Double Time.
I didn't think it was funny, especially when it was me that is being followed.
Those two have become a fixture in my life... but even other things have also changed.
As far as Rosalie and Jasper's arrangement goes, it has been cancelled due to Emmett.
Emmett and Rosalie have decided to try being fuck buddies... he is dealing with a divorce and she is a marriage phobic.
Jasper and I have not had a repeat of whatever happened that night... nor have we had any urges.
Well, I have had urges... just not with him.
All my urges are centered on a piece of meat named Anthony.
A piece of meat who I feel following me about 20 feet behind.
He thinks he's sneaky... but after all this time, I swear I can smell and feel him a mile away.
I walk inside the bookstore and walk directly to the romance section.
No matter how much I love the classics, they just don't do it for me all the time.
I stop and look at the cover of a few books... knowing that he's on the other isle pretending to browse the books.
I continue my exploration and stop when I find a book with a Fabio look-alike holding a svelte blond girl with her huge chest pressed tightly against his... both their long hair blowing in the wind.
Figures, she's a blond with huge tits he's holding...
"Bella, what a surprise to see you here," he says.
Having caught me by surprise, I jump at the sudden closeness of his voice and shield the cover from his gaze by placing it on my chest.
"Yeah, big surprise, huh?" I reply sarcastically.
He has the decency to seem bashful, but regardless, he continues on with the unwanted news. "So, I went to work yesterday..."
Yeah... blah... blah... blah...
Gosh, those pretty lips just make the cutest expressions...
"...and then Carlisle..."
Blah... blah... blah...
Maybe if I just pretend to trip and accidently land my lips on his lips he'll shut up, or... I can pretend to almost die and need mouth to mouth...
"... so, what do you think?"
Well, Anthony, I think your lips alone are fuckable, but I'm sure that's not what you asked.
"Think about what?" I clear my throat and mind from the gutter.
"The double date between you, Carlisle, my girlfriend and I."
Girlfriend... he has a girlfriend? A Girlfriend?
All this time pinning and daydreaming and possibly night raping him only to discover he has a girlfriend?
Cue the dread...it hurts. Why, if the only thing I want is his body does this hurt so much?
"No."
"No? Tanya and I will be there so you and Carlisle won't have to be alone and if the nig..."
"I said no. No. No. NO! No I don't want to go on a double date. No, I don't want to see Carlisle ever again especially now that we're divorced. And no, I don't want to meet your girlfriend."
"But..."
"Oh! Hey, Bella, Edward. What a coincidence," greets Alice.
Fucking Hell! Double Time is double teaming me.
"Hey, Alice. I was just trying to get Bella to come to a double date with me and Tanya."
"Wow, that sounds great..."
"No! For the last time NO!" I scream.
The whole place falls more silent than it already was, and truthfully I am beyond caring at this point.
"I don't want to see Carlisle, date him, talk to him, or even fuck him. I don't want to see your girlfriend. And I don't want to see you, Alice. In fact, you go on this double date. Hell, you had a greater chance of better sex in an hour than I had in seven years. Go you, Alice! Congratulations! You are an achiever! Now, if we are done here, I will gladly appreciate it if you two would stop following me. Seriously, it's called stalking... as in my father the chief of police will have no trouble getting me a restraining order with your names on it. And for the record, Anthony, my marriage was miserable, completely. I've never been happier in my whole life since the divorce. So if you really want to make him happy, I suggest you find another harpy for the job."
And with that, I walk out of that place with strange looks, a book with a thick-legged Fabio holding a barbie, and my dignity singing Hallelujah!