The school year came to a close and Hermione found herself in her dormitory packing away her things with a heavy heart. She would miss Hogwarts, she would miss it terribly. The lessons, the teachers, the classrooms…the forest and the lake, having tea with Hagrid. The Great Hall and the library, the common room and the greenhouses. It would all soon be naught but a memory.
She rummaged through the drawers in her bedside cabinet, taking out old quills, books and scraps of parchment. She lifted out one of her old school shirts from the top drawer and something fell out onto the floor with a thump. It was the homework diary Draco had given her for Christmas. She'd never used it.
She sat down on her bed and ran her hand over the soft leather, thinking of what could have been and wishing that everything had worked out for them both. A part of her still had hope that they would find a way, make it happen, be together but she knew, deep in her heart that Draco was right and it just wasn't going to work out for them – there was too much history, too many complications, too many obstacles that they just could not overcome.
She had accepted Harry's offer to join him and Ginny for a while at Grimmauld Place. They were going to renovate it, make it into a happy family home for Harry and Ginny to live in. Ron had already found a place of his own, a small cottage in Ottery St Catchpole, the village near the Burrow. Hermione had expected this. She knew Ron would remain close to home, because that was what Ron was like – safe. He had not asked her to move in with him and even if he had she would have declined. She hoped he would find someone and settle down. She wanted him to be happy.
Ron had not mentioned their kiss and Hermione hadn't either. She knew Ron still loved her and knew that if she asked him if he wanted to get back together with her he would say yes in an instant but he hadn't bothered her about it anymore. Perhaps he had begun to accept that Hermione did not want to be with him. He probably still believed she would get back with him, eventually. She wished he would let her go. They would be friends, always but nothing more because Hermione was not in love with Ron. She was in love with Draco.
She felt as though she would never be able to get over him, she felt as though she would go through life lamenting the fact that they couldn't be together, never letting go, always believing that somehow, someday it would all work out, holding out for him, waiting. She might meet someone else, someone who would love her and marry her and have her children but still, she would be full of regret and her heart would still belong to Draco.
She attended the leaving feast with Harry and Ron. She glanced over to the Slytherin table and saw with an agonising wrench that seemed to pull on her heart that Draco's hand was upon the table, holding Pansy's. Pansy caught her eye but there was nothing smug or triumphant about the way she looked at her. It was an almost apologetic look and Hermione nodded towards her and Pansy gave her a slight smile. They would never be friends but Hermione knew that there was an understanding between them now.
Draco did not look at Hermione and she knew it was because he could not bear to. Hermione turned to her plate instead, but she couldn't eat anything. She felt sick, sick with sadness and regret.
"Are you alright?" asked Harry quietly
"Yes" said Hermione "I'm fine"
The feast came to an end and Hermione, like everyone else, made her way into the Entrance Hall where beyond the school gates, carriages were waiting to take the students to Hogsmeade Station for the final time. She squeezed through the crowds, saying goodbye and good luck to her classmates, bestowing a hug upon Neville, Lavender and Parvati, talking to Luna about her planned expedition abroad to find more evidence to prove the existence of Crumple Horned Snorcacks. She spoke with Professors McGonnagal, Flitwick, Slughorn and Sprout, talking about what she was going to do now she had finished school. She listened to Dean and Seamus who were going travelling together for a while and had her hand shaken by what seemed to be every seventh year Gryffindor, Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw in the school.
She saw Draco depart for the carriages, hand in hand with Pansy and she couldn't help the tears that slid down her cheeks as she watched them walk down the stone steps together. Nobody asked her why she was crying for many people were, but for a different reason, because they were leaving school, moving on, saying farewell to their classmates.
"I'll miss it, you know, Hogwarts" said Harry, following Hermione and Ron into one of the carriages.
"Yeah" said Hermione sadly "me too"