If you haven't seen the finale, I guess you probably shouldn't read this. There are not really any spoilers, per se, but I mean, what are you doing not watching the finale?! Goodness gracious.
I am positively bursting with River/11 feels. That finale, man. I just can't. I can't even. I am currently unable to even. I mean, that kiss. That romantic dialogue. And I just.
Excuse me while I sob with happiness and depression.
So I guess this little one-shot is sometime after River is gone, I dunno really.
…
Sometimes, he would wake up and could feel her there, right where she was supposed to be, sleeping soundly in his arms. He could feel her calming heartbeat, her rhythmic breathing. Her curls would tickle his skin and he would breathe her in, everything about her- perfection. He would inhale the curve of her lips, the gentleness to her eyelids, and the softness of her skin. Right then, she was not the daring, flirty, crazy girl who shot things and stared down enemies and ran with him through time and space. She was just River, who tore the universe apart for him, who had saved his life time after time, who he had lost in so many ways, who was soft and gentle and kind, and who he terribly, fiercely, desperately wanted to protect. She was his River, his wife, his solace.
Sometimes, he would be able to keep this illusion, hold it close within his hearts for a few precious moments before reality came like a bitter pill, crashing down on him in waves, and he had to realize that he was alone, cold in his bed, with the epitome of perfection absent from his arms. He had lost his River yet again, but this time it was absolute and final. Never again would he awake to her face centimeters from his, the feeling of her skin against his fingertips, the taste of her lips on his.
Sometimes, he could waste away the day just laying there, dreaming of her face, her voice. He could close his eyes- and sometimes, some few, lovely, heartbreaking times, he could feel her hand resting in his, offering him peace and strength, support and understanding, and above all love- but then in would fade. His hand was empty, as his hearts now felt, and she would be gone. And he would be so, so alone.
Please review if you feel so inclined and I shall mentally send you a hug. Unless that freaks you out. Then I'll settle for a handshake. Or if you prefer, it could just be a sort of respectful head nod. Or we could plan out, like, a whole secret handshake thing that no one else will ever know about.
Your choice.