My mom came and
we packed up. I said good-bye to everyone. They all left Joe and I
alone for a minute. I started to cry a little bit. He wasn't
crying, but he was sad.
"Your crying?" He asked. I nodded my
head.
"I'm going to miss you." I said.
I never told him
how I wasn't coming back. I knew that I could never come back. My
mom had threatened me or as she said, it's not a threat, but a
promise. I either went home with her, or she would make it to where I
would never see Joe again. I couldn't let her hurt him. I had to
go.
"I'm going to miss you too, Tess. But I'll see you
soon!" He said. I started to cry a little bit more.
He wouldn't
see me soon. He wouldn't see me for a long time.
He kissed me.
I looked up in his eyes and saw everything that I've ever wanted,
but now can't ever have.
This was the right thing to do right?
Not telling him that I'm not coming back?
Going home with
my mom so that Joe would be safe?
My thoughts got all jumbled up
in my head. He kissed me again and I wrapped my arms around him. We
pulled apart at the lips, but held each other for a long time.
"Call
me when you get home." He said.
"I will." I said back. He
squeezed me a little bit.
"I love you, Tessa." He said. I was
about to loose it.
"I love you too, Joe." I said. We pulled
apart and my mom walked on.
"Come on, Tessa. Let's go home."
She said. I kissed Joe on the cheek and left. I got in the car
and waved good-bye to everybody until I couldn't see them anymore.
"You made the right choice, Tessa." My mom said. I didn't
look at her. I stared out my window the whole way to the airport. I
reached my hand around my neck and held on to the necklace that Joe
gave to me.
We got on the plane and it took off. My mom fell
asleep.
I silently cried while holding on to the necklace still.
I held on to it the entire time.
We got home and I walked into my
room. It was so weird to be there again.
"I'm going to bed.
Good-night." My mom said. She looked at me. I didn't say
anything. "You can't stay mad at me forever." She said. She
walked off into her room.
I went into my backyard and stood on my
porch. I looked up at the stars and started to cry. I held my
cell-phone in
my hand. I wanted to call him, but I knew it would be too hard.
Finally I decided to call him.
It rang and rang and rang. Then it
went to his voicemail. I left him a message.
Hey Joe, It's
Tessa.
Umm, I'm home. Just wanted to let you know. Call me
back. Love you. Bye.
I hung up and started to loose it. I sat in
the chair staring at the stars praying that one day Joe would
understand why I did what I did and would forgive me.
My phone
rang. It was Joe.
I let it ring a couple of times, then I
answered it.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Tess."
"Hey you."
"So
your home?"
"Yeah."
"Sorry I didn't answer. I was
taking a shower."
"It's ok."
"You sound upset. What's
wrong?"
"It's nothing."
"It's never nothing, Tessa.
What's wrong?"
"Joe, I can't tell you now."
"Tessa,
you can tell me anything at anytime! You know that!"
"I don't
think your ready for this, though."
"I'm ready for anything.
I mean it can't be that bad, right?"
"Joe, I'm not coming
back to New Jersey."
……Silence……
"Joe please say
something."
"What do you mean your not coming back to New
Jersey."
"I lied to you. When I said I was going home for my
great-grandma's funeral, I lied."
"Well then why did you go
home?"
"For reasons that I can't say. I had to do it, Joe.
You have to believe me."
"So your home for good?"
"Yes,
but you have to understand why."
"Why then, Tess? Why are you
home for good?"
"I wish I could tell you, I really do. But I
can't."
"What could it possibly be? You don't love me
anymore? Your tired of me? What is it?"
"Joe, I love you so
much. I could never be tired of you."
"Then WHY did you go
home for good?"
"If you love me, you'll understand why I
can't tell you!"
"Then I guess I don't love
you."
"Wh….what?"
"Tessa, I don't understand why
you can't just tell me!"
"Because of reasons! I did what I
did because I had to. To protect you!"
"Protect me? Tessa what
was going to happen to me if you didn't go home?"
"I can't
tell you, Joe! Please just understand! Please!"
"I can't
understand when your not telling me anything!"
"Because I
can't tell you anything! If you love me than you'll
understand!"
"If you love me then you'll tell me!"
"I
can't tell you!"
"Then you don't love me! Tessa, I can't
handle this! I'm going."
"Joe
wait!"
*click*
And with that click,
I knew that things would never be the same again.
