I cannot begin to explain the delight that came to me when Tommy walked through the door. Since Jessica told me about what happened at school, I knew that Tommy said a speech dedicated to me. Tommy could have helped make the school a better place. I think it's funny that he's completely confused on why I'm so happy. Jessica must have not told him that she told me about the assembly. I really want to tell him why I'm so happy right now, but I love making him nervous. "Adam, did you and Sauli, well, you know? Did you guys do it or something? You seem so unrealistically happy. I wouldn't think you would be this thrilled about missing out on school and being injured. I bet you are enjoying your time away from the preppy kids in our school. That's one reason why I wish I could be in your shoes right now," Tommy said.
Did Tommy just ask me if Sauli and I had sex? That didn't get awkward at all. I can honestly say that Sauli and I are not even close to having sex. We still are getting to know each other more. I also don't want to have sex with anyone. I want to save it for the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. I'm also nervous about how my first time would go. The most important reason to why I'm waiting is that I promised myself that I would not even consider it until after I'm out of high school. I know obviously that there's no way Sauli could get pregnant or me for that matter, but that still doesn't change anything. Sauli and I can be intimate without having sex. Our kisses are very intimate and passionate. That's more than enough to satisfy Sauli and me. I don't know what Sauli thinks about the whole sex matter. Sauli went outside to water my mom's plants so he didn't get to hear Tommy say that. Jessica could have heard it. She was in my kitchen when Tommy said it, which is just a couple rooms away. Tommy didn't say it that quietly anyway. I think he wanted to have someone else hear it, like Jessica.
"No, Tommy, Sauli and I didn't do it. I might as well tell you. Jessica told me what happened at school today. She told me about the assembly that you guys had to go to. Jessica told me that you and her gave speeches about what happened. Tommy, that's why I'm so happy. You and Jessica proudly stood up for me. You two could have just ended a little bit of the bullying that goes on at our school. I can't thank you two enough for going out of your comfort zones to talk about this. I don't have that many close friends, but I know I have some really amazing ones. Brittney, Amanda, Sauli, Jessica, and you are like family to me. I know that each and every one of you has my back. With saying that, I am so blessed that I get to spend my life with you guys. No matter where life takes us all, I hope that nothing can separate our friendships. I love you all so much," I said.
Jessica and Tommy must have been touched with what all I just said. Jessica fell down onto the couch and was crying. Tommy was hiding his face, which he only does that when he's crying or when he's embarrassed. I'm pretty sure that he's crying right now. I can hear quiet sobs from somewhere. Jessica is wailing her sobs so it really can't be her who's making the quiet sobs. That is highly unlikeable. Tommy is trying to calm down from what I can see. He's wiping away his tears as he slowly removes his hands from his face. I feel kinda bad for making Tommy cry. He always tries putting on the tough guy face when he's actually a sweetheart. Jessica has sometimes called him a big teddy bear. Her explanation for the nickname is that he's dependable and that he is really soft and cuddleable. Jessica loves running her hands through his hair. I think they would be a cute couple, but I highly doubt that will happen. They seem too much in the friend zone right now. I would 100% support them if they ever do decide to start dating. They would be very cute together, at least I think so.
The rest of the day went fairly well. Brittney and Amanda came over not too long ago. They both had a lot of homework to finish before they came over to my house, not to mention a lot of chores also. We are currently in the process of watching all of the Paranormal Activity movies out so far. There's four of them currently in the series. We just started watching the second one. The first one really isn't that scary. Jessica has watched all of the movies multiple times so she rarely gets scared during any of them. The second one is scaring me a little bit. I'm super nervous about the third one. From what Jessica has said, the third one is the scariest of all of them.
Sauli and I are cuddled up on our only loveseat in the living room. Amanda, Brittney, Jessica, and Tommy are all respectively on the couch, in that warned me before that he doesn't cope well with scary movies. He said that back in FInland, they produce a lot of scary movies and put them in the theaters. Sauli says that he's seen more than enough scary movies to satisfy him for the rest of his life. I had to try calming him down somehow. I started running my hands through his hair and giving him little pecks on the cheek. "Adam, I might just hate scary movies, but I love cuddling up to you during them. I know at any time that I don't want to watch that I can just hide my face into your shirt. You won't think of me as a baby or a coward. You will try to comfort me in the best way possible. I know when I am in your arms that I am safe. There's no place I'd rather be than in your arms. I love you so much," Sauli said. That almost made me cry. Sauli is the sweetest man on this Earth. You can always tell just how sincere and honest he really is. He doesn't just say these things without meaning them. I know I can trust Sauli 100% on having meaning behind all the sweet things he says.
"Sauli, you know you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I am not exaggerating that either. Until I met you, I've always felt a little bit on the lonely side. I knew that there was a piece of my heart missing. I tried filling that piece up with my friends as much as possible. The thing was that I was missing out on love. I would watch all these couples date and here is me. You are my first boyfriend and the only person I've ever been in a relationship with. Jessica has had a few boyfriends here and there. Amanda has had a little more than Jessica. Still even with that, I've always felt like a loner. Then you come and change my whole world around. I immediately knew that you and I would get along. Since I've never been in a relationship before, I didn't know what to do to ask you out. I was so nervous about asking you out on a date would scare you away from me. I thought you were too perfect to actually be a choice for me. When we started dating, I tried asking Jessica, Amanda, and Brittney of any advice they would have on relationships. They gave great advice, for the most part. Now that you're here with me, I can fully say that I'm happy you're my first boyfriend. Nobody else in this world would be worth it," I said.
Before I knew it, Sauli's lips were on mine. This kiss is so very passionate and intimate. The love that I have for Sauli never stops growing. I have watched myself go to crushing on him, to falling in love with him, and now being in love with him. I know many people would argue that I'm not really in love with that man. I know we are young and a lot of teenagers just think that they are in love. It is much different when it comes to me. I knew I could see forever with Sauli just when I met him and started talking to him. Sauli and I have a more complicated relationship more than most people do. In today's world, there is still hate on the LGBTQ communities. It has gotten to be more of an issue lately, which is a good thing. People in this generation are changing this country for the better. There is 13 states plus Washington DC that accept gay marriages. Yes, that is a great number. The thing that gets to me is that it's just a small portion of the 50 states. There is so much inequality in all of those other 37 states. We are just starting to make progress. I hope that if I have kids, that they will be able to live in a country that treats their citizens the same. It shouldn't matter if you are black or white, gay/straight/bisexual, religious or not. What matters is that you get treated equally for the person you are that can't or won't change. That is my view on our path to equality.
I turn to look to Jessica and I'm surprised by what I see. I think she's...sleeping? Her eyes are shut, her breathing looks like it slowed down, and she's laying her head on Tommy's lap. Did Jess really fall asleep during our Paranormal Activity movie marathon? I didn't want to wake her up, not yet anyway. I whispered to Sauli to look over at Jess and he quietly began to laugh. I'm not going crazy. Jessica is literally sleeping. I should ask Tommy to make sure. "Tommy, do you know if Jessica fell asleep? She seriously looks like she did from over here. You'd be able to tell the best since she's laying on you," I said. Tommy looked down on his lap to see Jessica's head. I watched as he looked into her eyes to see if she's faking it. He tried whispering her name quietly in her ear and she didn't move. "Well, I think she fell into a deep sleep. She's completely oblivious to everything right now. I know she would have responded if she was faking it. I know since I tested her by whispering 'I love you' to her. I know if she was awake, she'd be like 'what'. Yeah, she's definitely asleep," Tommy said.
Am I missing something here? Tommy whispered 'I love you' to Jessica? I am so confused right now. I can't tell if he's serious about loving her or not. He could have just said that to attempt to wake her up. Tommy also could have said it because he secretly does mean it. I want to know what that is all about. "Hey, Tommy. Can I talk to you in the kitchen quickly?" I asked. Sauli gave me a weird look so I nodded him and kissed him. He knew that I would be back as quickly as possible. "Of course, let's go," Tommy said. We made our way into the kitchen. I could hear Amanda and Sauli whispering in the background, trying to figure out what I might be talking to Tommy about. Of course they have no idea I'm going to ask him about if he was serious when he told Jessica that he loves her. I am a little scared for what Tommy might end up saying. If he says yes, then I'll have to try to help him ask Jessica out. If he says no, then things between him and I might become awkward. There's no way out now. I have to ask.
"Okay, Tommy. I apologize now for taking you away from the movie marathon. There was something you said that really caught my eye. You said that you whispered to Jessica that you love her. Is that the truth or did you do that, just to catch her attention to possibly wake her up? I'm sorry for asking about this, but I want to know what's up," I said. My plan wasn't to startle him like this. I really caught Tommy off guard with my question. He's probably processing all the information right now. This answer could be a changing point, with whichever choice is picked. My nerves are starting to kick in now. Tommy isn't saying anything yet. Does he really not know his intention for it? He could be trying to help me work on my patience. Whatever the case is, I'm all ready to hear what Tommy has to say. He looks like he's ready to speak.
"You have to promise me that this stays between only me and you. Do you promise?" he asked. I nodded, seeing as promising this means that I get the whole honest response. Tommy continued, "The truth is after your American Idol audition, Jessica and I did something that altered my feelings a bit. It was all after you came out, tricking us into thinking that you didn't get a golden ticket. Once you showed us your ticket, we were all so very happy. I was talking to Jessica because we were so excited for you. We both understood the greatness that could come from you going to Hollywood. Here's where the part where nobody else knows. I was talking to Jessica about maybe ordering a few celebration pizzas. When suddenly, Jessica leaned over at me, looked me in the eyes, and kissed me. I kissed her back, not knowing what I should do in this situation. As she pulled away from me, I felt a spark. The spark was telling me that I should forget about leaving Jessica. It wanted me to keep kissing her. I didn't listen to it because I was nervous. Jessica and I talked about it later, and she later admitted that it was the rush of excitement in a moment. We agreed to just stay friends. Our consensus was that we would keep the kiss a secret and never bring it up again. Adam, when I whispered to Jessica that I love her, I actually mean it. I don't want you to tell anyone about this, especially Jessica. I don't want to get things awkward between us. Besides, she just only wants to be friends with me. Please don't tell on me about the kiss for sure. I really needed to talk to someone about that situation."
I was not expecting that sort of answer. Oh my goodness. Tommy first told me about the kiss that I wasn't supposed to know about. He went into detail about it too. It was almost as if he was reflecting on it like it just happened yesterday. All it took was that one kiss with Jessica for Tommy to develop a crush on her. This is so cute. There's nothing that would make me happier than if Tommy and Jessica would start dating. I mean seriously, they would compliment each other. They are such great friends already, so it would be kind of less nerve-racking. I know that they know each other fairly decently so they could skip that step about trying to find each other and cross examining.
How to reply back to Tommy now? I know I shocked him earlier with me question. Now he shocks me with his answer. I feel the need to say something. "Tommy, like I agreed to earlier, I'm not going to tell anyone what was said here. Thank you so much for trusting me with the kiss information. Tommy, if you love Jessica, you should still try to go after her. Maybe the whole friend pact was because she thought that's what both of you wanted. You need to tell her about how you really feel. When you do it, be very sweet and sincere, like you just were when telling me. I feel that there's this undeniable connection between Jessica and you. If you two would seriously start dating, I feel that you guys would last a long time, if not forever. The good thing about you and Jess is that you guys have been friends for a long time. That means that you guys already love each other, but in a different way. Your heart is already open to Jessica because you guys have shared some pretty good and bad memories. That is the same way with Jessica. I'm sure that if you tell her how you feel that she'll give your relationship a chance. There always is the chance of rejection, but doesn't the good outcome overpower the worst one? We all know how Jessica goes. There's nothing that would ever stop her friendship with us. What are you waiting for? Go get her, Tommy. I promise you that it will be worth it," I said.
"Thank you, Adam. I'll think about it more tonight. I appreciate you giving me a pep talk. I know that I am stubborn. I know that I usually need a little push to get out of my comfort zone. I'm just not good at doing things that I feel I might become embarrassed with. Let's get back to the movie. Again, thank you for talking to me. You might not know it, but you just really helped me organize my thoughts, " he said.
We walked back into the living room. Sauli was still sitting down on the love seat, waiting for me to return. I look over to Jessica and she is somehow still sleeping. She is very unaware about how Tommy feels about her. Tommy slipped back to the couch and Jessica moved a little bit. She rested her head on Tommy's shoulder. I wonder if Jessica has ever told Tommy that she's a sleep cuddler. I know she fell asleep on me once and I became like a pillow. That wasn't too bad though. I saw Jessica open her mouth, as if she was going to say something. Of course she didn't. I am really intrigued by the look on Tommy's face. He looks at Jessica and his face lightens up. I can tell that he gets that protective look on. Now everything is starting to make sense a little bit. Tommy does have his reasons for everything he does when it comes to Jessica. If he didn't tell me that he does in fact love Jessica, I know I wouldn't be able to pick up on his signals. Since I do, I feel very knowledgeable. I really hope Tommy expresses his love to Jessica soon. Jessica should know and it will kill me until the secret is out of the bag.