Thanks for your reviews of last chapter - more angst here. Sirius shows his face again and, surprisingly, provides a voice of reason.

Chapter Twenty one

'Sam? What are you doing here?'

Sirius rubbed at his eyes, not sure if he was hallucinating. He'd checked the time when he heard the knock - it was after one o'clock in the morning.

'What's wrong?' he asked then had a sudden thought. 'Is it Remus?'

Sam shook her head and said irritably,' Can I come in?'

He realised they were still standing on his stairs and waved her in. She went through to his living room and sat down, wrapping her arms around her chest.

After Remus told her about his condition, she'd sat and cried until it felt like her eyes were full of sand then apparated to the only person she thought she might be able to talk to about this.

Sirius.

He sat opposite her and she said, 'Why didn't you tell me Remus was a werewolf?'

Sirius felt like she'd thrown cold water over him - she couldn't have woken him up quicker if she had.

'Because it wasn't my place to tell you,' he said softly.

'You let him into my bed,' she said angrily, standing up again. 'You let me get involved with him. Didn't either of you think I had the right to know before I screwed him?'

'Before you screwed him, or before you fell for him?' Sirius said, and watched her face screw up in pain.

'You should have told me,' she accused, her voice breaking as her eyes filled with tears.

Sirius stood up and took her shoulders in his hands. 'Sam, you aren't a prejudiced person,' he said. 'I know it must have been a big shock, but are telling me you wouldn't have touched Remus if you'd known he was a werewolf? I saw the two of you together - you are made for each other.'

'I don't know what I would have done,' she said desperately. 'But shouldn't I been given the chance to say no? To choose not to get involved? You took my choices away from me. You don't have the right to do that. You should've let me decide.'

Sirius stared at her, his grey eyes narrowed. 'You're not angry because he's a werewolf,' he said, realisation hitting him suddenly. 'You're angry because this is something you can't control. That you didn't expect.'

He saw her frown but he knew he was right. 'You said that Remus was too controlled, but it's you,' he said. 'You had to control everything about us - how we did it, when we did it, no sleep overs, the no relationship thing. You have to be in charge or you freak out.'

She was staring angrily at him now, shaking in fury. 'I'm right,' he continued. 'And you know I'm right. You've fallen for Remus - that wasn't part of the plan. And now he's sprung this on you and it's another disruption to the life you thought you had under complete control.'

'You don't know what the hell you're talking about,' she spat, spinning around intending to leave, but he grabbed her arm.

'You know I'm right,' he insisted. 'You listen to me, Sam. Don't you dare hurt him because you're too damn stubborn and pigheaded to realise that there are some things you can't control. He's worth more than that. You're worth more than that.'

'Get off me, Sirius,' she snapped, shaking his hand off her.

'I mean it, Sam,' he said, following her to the door. 'I've never seen him this happy before. You'll regret it if you let this get in the way. He's a werewolf for one night - one night a month. He's that same great guy the rest of the time and you would be an idiot to let him go.'

'Puoi passare per l'inferno, Sirius Black,' she yelled as she walked down his stairs and apparated away. (You can go to hell, Sirius Black)

He wasn't sure what she'd said, but the 'inferno' part gave him a fair idea.

He closed his door and went into his bedroom, dressing quickly. He locked his front door and apparated off his doorstep, appearing in front of Remus' house. He saw a light on and knocked lightly. Remus appeared quickly, a hopeful look on his face that disappeared when he saw Sirius.

'Don't look so happy to see me,' Sirius said with a smile, seeing Remus try to return it.

'To what do I owe the pleasure at this hour, Pads?' he asked, letting Sirius into the house.

'Sam came to see me,' he told him and Remus frowned.

'She did?' he asked, wondering why Sam had turned to Sirius.

'She still wants him,' he thought, feeling like he might just throw up.

'She came to see me because she was angry I didn't tell her about you immediately,' he said. 'And I think she needed someone to blame for the way she's feeling.'

He looked at Remus thoughtfully. 'You told her very soon,' he said, grabbing a couple of beers out of the fridge and sitting down, pulling his friend down to sit next to him. He saw there were already two empty bottles on the coffee table. 'Why so soon?'

'Because she should know,' Remus replied, his face miserable as he drank half the beer quickly.

'You've only been with each other for a week,' Sirius said, looking closely at Remus. 'You waited months before you told Cathy.'

'Well, I guess I just….I don't know,' he muttered in frustration. 'I just didn't feel like I could let it go any further without her knowing. Better for her to dump me now before….'

He stopped himself and shook his head, slamming the rest of the beer down his throat fast.

Sirius waited until he'd lowered the bottle then said, 'Before you fall any harder for her?'

Remus closed his eyes and clenched his jaw, leaning his head back against the headrest of the couch. Sirius was right. He was caring more and more about Sam every moment they spent together and, although it was early in their relationship, he couldn't in good conscience let this keep going without telling her his secret. Not when he suspected that caring was rapidly turning into something far stronger.

'Another beer?' he asked, not waiting for his friend's answer before he Summoned a six pack with his wand.

'No,' Sirius said, watching Remus pop another bottle and drink a third of it down quickly. 'Do you want me to stay tonight?'

'Nope,' Remus said, taking a breath. 'I'm going to get completely trashed and I'd prefer no one saw that.'

Sirius sighed and stood up. 'I'll come around tomorrow,' he said. 'I'll bring a pain potion.'

Remus waved as he left, sculling down the remainder of his open drink then popped the lid off another, determined to get as ratted as he could in the shortest amount of time possible.

Sam, too, had similar ideas, downing her fourth glass of mead in half an hour, and pouring her fifth. She was having a lot of trouble trying to get her head around the fact that Remus was a lycanthrope. And everything Sirius had said to her hung heavily in the air. She knew it was true. She hated not being in charge of what happened in her life. Since Chris had died, she'd tried to ensure she kept a tight rein on everything she did so she'd never have to experience that kind of loss again, and it had worked - until she met Remus, who made her feel more out of control than anyone. She realised that she'd been guiding their relationship: she decided how they had sex; when they began their relationship; how much information she revealed and when. But now Remus had thrown a spanner in the works with his revelation. This was something she couldn't control, and she hated that.

Lycanthropy was a disease she'd learnt about in her studies. She knew how it worked: the pain and trauma of the physical transformation, and the emotional torture that victims went through each month. It was exhausting in every way, and Remus had to be an incredibly strong person to go through this and not be bitter or hard. It hadn't been his disease that made her send him away - it had been her own control issues.

She knew she cared about Remus in a way that scared her and she'd been trying desperately not to allow herself to think about it; to not allow the L word to cross her mind. She knew she hurt him last night when she sent him away. The pain in his face had almost broken her heart, and she'd wanted to reach out and hug him. But she'd let him walk away. She rubbed at her forehead, blinking away the tears that had risen again. She forgot about the glass, and drank straight from the bottle, wondering how on earth something so good got so messed up.

The next morning, Remus was startled by a knocking at the door. Cringing at what seemed like unnecessarily loud banging, he stood up and staggered slightly towards the front of the house. He'd finished the six pack, plus a few loose beers he'd found at the back of the fridge, and he was feeling more than a little seedy. His stomach churned a bit but he opened the door.

'Jesus, Remus,' Sirius said, staring at his friend. 'You look like shit.'

'Thanks,' Remus mumbled, hearing the harshness in his voice.

Sirius handed him a vial of potion and a bottle of water, then walked past him into the living room.

Remus gratefully drank the potion fast, knowing it would bring him relief very quickly, and opened the water, taking a more careful sip as he followed Sirius. His friend had his wand out, Vanishing the empty bottles of beer Remus had left scattered all over the floor.

'So, you drank yourself to sleep?' he asked, throwing himself into a chair.

'No,' Remus retorted, sitting down more carefully. 'There was no sleep involved. Every time I closed my eyes I saw Sam.'

He could feel his headache easing and his nausea was disappearing as the potion kicked in.

'You should go and see her,' Sirius said, seeing the hurt on his friend's face. Sam's rejection of him last night had stung him.

Remus shook his head. 'No,' he said. 'I don't want to pressure her. You should have seen the expression on her face, Pads. She couldn't even look at me.'

'It was a shock, Moony,' Sirius said gently. 'Once she thinks it through, she'll see things differently.'

'Well, she knows where I am,' Remus said, uncharacteristically stubborn.

He had seen the look in Sam's eyes last night; Sirius hadn't. There was no way he could go back and face her - see that look once more. His heart couldn't take that again.