Going back to his life without Madge in it is painful and annoyingly frustrating.
Why'd she have to kiss him? God, his mouth still tingles despite the fact that days have passed. Every time Gale makes a plan to go and see her something will go wrong. Vick will get sick or Posy will be missing hiding somewhere in the house in an elaborate game of hide and seek or Rory needs help with homework. What can Gale even say to her that can fix everything that's happened now?
He's thinking an explanation might be a good beginning, he just doesn't know where to start?
The Victory Tour is taking off today and Gale is hoping to catch Madge at the train station after saying goodbye to the Victors. Then he can explain, really explain, and maybe they can start over.
Dammit, can they start over? Is that even possible now? Or has he fucked everything up to the point of no return? And if he has, if he can't win her back… no, he can't think like that. There has to be that hope that they can start over. He wants to be with her.
"Gale," his father calls. Gale shifts in his seat at the kitchen table to look at his father. "Can I see you in my office?" he asks.
Gale furrows his eyebrows. "What for? Can't we talk here?"
"Now is not the best time for you to disrespect me," the mayor growls. Gale is no longer as scared of his father as he used to be but there's still a darkness in Mayor Hawthorne's eyes that makes Gale weary. "Go. I'll be up in a moment."
With a grunt Gale shoves himself from the table, leaving his dishes behind, and marches upstairs to his father's office. He walks inside and glances at the dark screens knowing they had once shown the workings of rebellions and wishing they would show again. He doesn't even notice the man in his father's seat until he clears his throat.
The smell of roses wafts throughout the room and venom seeps into Gale's veins. "Mr. Hawthorne," the man says.
"President Snow," Gale returns, tipping his head at him. Gale has had the honor of meeting President Snow on multiple occasions, though Gale isn't sure he's even really been addressed directly. Snow tips his head as if to say sit, so Gale does. "How're you?"
"Oh, we haven't time for formalities, Gale." His first name in this snake's mouth is not a very appealing. "You're to be the mayor soon."
"Yes, sir."
"I've been told your training is going well. Superb, even, which is spectacular. However, I see something in you that I also saw in your father when he was appointed the position, and considering I'm in the district I thought it in the best interest to have a conversation with you." Gale grimaces at Snow licks his lips. "You have a fire within you, Gale Hawthorne, one that can easily get out of control if you let it. As the future mayor of this district you have the responsibility to contain it."
They're quiet for a moment before Gale says, "Sir?"
"Your people, my people, are the first priority. Always. Considering you're being trained in the ways of leadership there's no doubt in my mind you know of the attempted uprisings that are springing up throughout the country. Am I correct?"
"I know a little bit," Gale nods.
"Ah, I figured you would." President Snow shifts in the chair and Gale leans back in an attempt to get away. "District 12, what a pretty little place, don't you think?" The president clears his throat. "It is not solely your responsibility to crush what little uprising could occur here, though chances of that happening are slim to none. I would just like to advise you that if something of the sort was to begin that your actions will be evaluated as well as your father's."
"I'm not sure I understand," Gale admits.
"With our recent dual winners of the Hunger Games people have been pushing limits. When limits are pushed, things break, and people die." Gale still doesn't understand this completely. "People look to leaders in times of need to see what they're doing. If an uprising is incited in this district, people will look to you and your father simultaneously, the current and future leaders. They will see what side you're on." President Snow leans toward him. "Don't be on their side, Gale."
"The safety of the district is the utmost concern," Gale says. "Anything that puts them in danger, like an uprising, would be crushed and disregarded completely."
"Hm," President Snow smiles in a way that makes Gale's stomach turn. "Spoken like a true politician. I wonder, however, if you truly believe that." Gale does not shift at all as Snow's smile widens. "Your actions even now are being seen by the people in this district, you know."
"I'm aware," Gale says. "But to which actions are you referring, sir?"
"Your ties to Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark are either extremely beneficial or entirely too tragic. Don't you think?" Gale, again, remains unmoving. "And this lovely Miss Undersee," Snow says. Gale forces himself to meet the president's stony cold eyes. No. No. Anything but Madge, anything but Madge! His heart drops into his stomach and Gale lets out a strained gasp of air, trying his hardest not to show any emotion but knowing that he's failing miserably. His eyebrows are furrowed together, his cheeks are pale. "She really is quite beautiful. I can see why both you and Miss Everdeen are attached to her." A photograph is slid across the desk and Gale leaps to grab it. It's of Madge. Her head is cocked as though she's heard something and the wind blows, framing her face with loose strands of her golden hair. Madge's eyebrows are knit together like she's concerned, and her bottom lip is between her teeth. "I'd hate for anything to happen to her." She looks so fragile. She looks so small. "It would break so many hearts."
"President Snow," Gale tries.
"Be careful, Gale," he warns. "I like you. Don't make me regret it."
He leaves Gale alone in the office, staring at the photograph and feeling the weight of his failure on his shoulders.
Madge and Katniss linger outside the Hob, standing by one another but not really looking.
"Are you coming to the train station to say goodbye?" Katniss asks. Madge shifts her eyes upwards but Katniss won't meet her gaze. "I understand if you're not."
"I've got to stay with my mom," she answers. Ever since the entire birthday debacle things have been strained and awkward. Katniss came over to Madge's the next morning with a cake but Madge was hungover and grouchy and only barely accepted her friend's apology. Katniss refused to leave until things weren't so bad between them, and they've been slowly getting better. "So, no. Sorry."
"It's okay," Katniss shrugs. "The cameras will miss you." Madge snorts and she catches Katniss smile, too. The brunette lets out a sigh before shifting her feet. "I don't want to leave the district with you mad at me, Madge."
"I'm not." She means that sincerely. Katniss has been through enough and had enough on her mind, it's not the end of the world that she forgot Madge's birthday. She's more than made up for it with gifts, boots that cost a fortune and the sweetest cake she's ever eaten, probably one made by Peeta. "Honestly."
"I shouldn't have brought Gale to the woods," Katniss says. Madge shifts uneasily. "You're right. It's our thing. And it's not something to do for fun, it's how we stay alive. How you stay alive," she adds quietly. "I won't do it again."
"It's fine," Madge says for about the thousandth time.
The two start away from the Hob slowly without much to say anymore. Suddenly Katniss says, "Maybe you could talk to Gale." Madge slows her pace and furrows her eyebrows, feeling her stomach knot like it did before she threw up all over Thom's boots on her birthday. Katniss turns to her and shrugs awkwardly. "He told me about you two."
Madge knew she should've explained everything earlier. "Katniss—"
"I don't care, you know," she says. Her cheeks are pink in protest. "It's weird, but… it doesn't bother me." Madge looks down at her hands and fidgets with the hem of her shirt. "I think you should talk to him."
Oh God, Madge can't talk to him. She made such a fool of herself in front of Gale. Not only does Madge completely forget the entire walk home from the bakery to her house (God only knows what she said), she threw herself at him and kissed him until he forcefully pulled away. Idiot, she's such an idiot. And then she cried and continued shoving him away… no. She can't talk to him ever again.
"Maybe."
Katniss is clearly hesitant now. "If you promise to talk to Gale," she says, "I promise to talk to Peeta." Madge laughs brightly and Katniss's mouth curls into a smile. "Deal?"
"Sure, Katniss," Madge laughs. There's a train whistle in the distance and both girls turn their heads to look. "You should be going." They step toward one another at the same time, hugging fiercely. "Eat a lot of food for me."
"Duh."
After another quick squeeze they let go, and Katniss disappears from the Hob, waving over her shoulder.
He doesn't see Madge at the sendoff for Katniss and instantly Gale is worried. He knows President Snow does not deliver empty threats, could it be possible he already acted on what he said? Gale elbows his way through the dissipating crowd to find Prim who is (not so subtly) holding hands with Rory. They drops their hold on each other the second the spot Gale and Prim smiles brightly.
"I saw that," Gale warns. Her smile drops and her cheeks turn pink. Rory sticks his tongue out at his brother before reaching down and grabbing Prim's hand again. "Have you two seen Madge?"
"Why?" Rory snaps. "Off to break her heart some more?"
"Christ, Rory," Gale groans, and even Prim looks a bit uncomfortable. "I've got to talk to her." He hasn't told his younger brother about Madge's birthday, but Gale doesn't really think that conversation would help much. "Please."
"She didn't come," Prim finally offers. "Stayed home with her mom." Her cheeks are still as red as dawn on a hot summer day but at least she's smiling a bit again. "If you want my opinion," she says, "I think you should leave her be."
"Good thing I don't want your opinion," Gale quips as lightly as he can. Rory sticks out his tongue again and pulls Prim toward him. "Thanks anyway."
Gale leaves his brother and Prim in the square and starts back toward home. He still wants to see Madge but at least now the panic in his chest has been sedated. He leaves her be like Prim suggests.
For a few days, anyway.
By the time Katniss and Peeta's Victory Tour is in District 6 Gale can't sit still. He's been allowed to view exclusive footage of what happened in District 11 after the cameras cut off for everyone else. He knows about the whistle that set off the three-fingered salute. He knows about the men that were shot. He knows that Peeta and Katniss can pretend to be in love all they want but it isn't going to stall the rebellion that's brewing in the stomach of this country.
District 12 is small and insignificant. Gale knows that. He knows, just by looking at the people who will soon be his citizens, that there is hardly a hope of a rebellion here. But in other districts? It's already happening. Maybe all District 12 needs is a push. Maybe not now, not right after Snow threatened to kill Madge, but soon.
His thoughts are filled with uprisings and war, rebellions and bombings, District 13 and—dammit, Madge.
The first time he really sees her she's sitting alone on a bench outside the bakery, fiddling with a loose string on her scarf. Madge is chewing down on her bottom lip and her eyebrows are furrowed, one of her legs won't quit bouncing.
Before she has the chance to look up and notice him staring Gale practically sprints across the street, lowering himself down next to her. She tilts her head when he sits and her eyes widen. She goes to stand but he quickly grabs her wrist and Madge resolves to stay seated.
They're both quiet for a moment.
"I'm sorry," she finally blurts. Gale releases his hold on her wrist and wishes she would look at him. "I was drunk and foolish and acted out of line."
"Madge," he sighs. Her eyebrows furrow further and she sinks backwards on the bench. "Don't apologize for that." If anything, he should be the one apologizing for screwing up her birthday. Hell, he should be apologizing for a lot of things. "What do you remember?"
Madge still won't look at him. Her cheeks flush with the loveliest shade of pink and her shoulders lift slightly. "Kissing," she reveals. "Crying." Gale lets out a deep sigh and drags one of his hands through his hair. "I'm sorry," she says again. "I should've known when you didn't show up to the meadow that you didn't have feelings for me." Her voice cracks multiple times but she continues speaking anyway. "I was an idiot to think anything else."
"You're wrong," Gale shakes his head. The pain of her words digs into his ribs. How could she doubt what Gale felt for her? He had always made it so clear. "That's not why I stopped coming."
Finally, she tilts her head to look at him. "What?"
"I didn't stop coming because I suddenly lost feelings for you," Gale says. Their eyes meet and she blinks rapidly before shifting her gaze to the ground. "I don't even know where to start," he mutters. "On your birthday," Gale begins, "you told me that you still want me." She fidgets nervously. "Do you stand by that?"
"I was drunk," she repeats.
Gale sinks a bit. "You're not denying it."
"I'm not a liar," Madge shrugs. His heart does somersaults. There's still hope.
"I never stopped wanting you," Gale murmurs. There's a pause before Madge lifts her questioning eyes over to him. "Things are just so…" he trails off, speaking before she gets the chance to question him. "They're fucked up, Madge. Everything's fucked up." Gale honestly doesn't know where to start. With his father's story of how he became the mayor? With President Snow's threat? Maybe with what's happening in the other districts? "Things are happening. Changing. Maybe not here but in other districts…" he trails off again and her eyes narrow. "Katniss has started something," Gale exhales. "With the berries. Madge, there wasn't supposed to be two Victors."
Madge searches his face as she tries to unravel the meaning behind his words.
"What do you mean?" The nervous girl he sat next to a few minutes ago is gone, there's a fierceness in her eyes that Gale has loved from the beginning. "What's going on?"
"People aren't happy," Gale says simply. "And when people aren't happy…"
"Revolution?" she whispers.
He sighs. "Maybe. I don't know." She blinks a few times, biting down on her bottom lip. "But I don't know what to do about it." That's not entirely true. If he acts upon it Madge is as good as gone forever, but he if stays quiet for too long he's lost his chance to make a change. "There are consequences to all of my actions," he tells her. "I can't do anything without second guessing myself."
"So you're second guessing me?"
"No," he shakes his head. "Fuck. None of this makes sense in my head." None of this makes sense at all.
"You left me, Gale."
"Not purposefully. Well, it was purposefully but not in the way that you're thinking." He doesn't want to tell Madge that she's being watched. Or that he's being watched. He lifts his head and gazes into the square, wondering if someone's watching them right now. Having this conversation in public might not've been the best idea. "You didn't do anything wrong."
"Mm." Madge looks down at her hands. She doesn't believe him. "I should go."
"Madge," he catches her hand before she can stand and holds tightly. "I don't know where to start explaining things."
"The beginning might be nice," she frowns. "Gale you left me alone in the meadow for weeks and then all of a sudden—"
"I know, I know," he cuts her off. "I know it doesn't make any sense. But I know…" Gale leans toward her, forgetting any plan of explanation as to why he stopped showing up to the meadow and just needing her to understand this one thing. "The only thing I know is that I'm not giving up on you."
"Gale," she sighs.
Suddenly he stretches forward, his fingers gently pulling her chin toward him, and kisses her quickly. He doesn't wonder if they're being watched, it doesn't even cross his mind the second their lips meet. Madge gasps into his mouth and he pulls away before he can lose himself in her. Gale lowers his forehead to hers, shifting his hand to cup her cheek. Madge's eyes flutter shut, her lips stay lightly parted.
"Don't give up on me either," he whispers. "Please."
Madge stands abruptly and their foreheads collide, causing Gale to jerk backwards and rub at the spot. Her fingers lift to trace her lips. She leaves without looking back.
Don't give up on me either.
Does he realize what he's done to her? Madge's heart is back to beating a thousand miles a minute, her thoughts racing with nothing other than him. She never gave up on him. Madge never stopped hoping he'd come back, beg for forgiveness, explain himself to her.
But there's another player to this now, a rebellion. There wasn't supposed to be two Victors, that's what Gale told her. This means that when Katniss extended her hand filled with berries that would kill both her and Peeta, she showed up the Capitol. She pushed their limits.
How had Madge not seen it before? This hidden act of defiance? If what Gale said is true, that something is happening in the other districts, other people had clearly seen the berry stunt as some sort of rebellious behavior, whether Katniss had intended it or not.
Madge paces around her kitchen careful not to step on any of the creaking floorboards so she doesn't wake her mother. Mrs. Undersee has been more or less out of it since Madge's birthday, usually only waking to eat before she slips back into a deep slumber.
Of course, this is when someone knocks loudly on the door. Madge rushes out of the kitchen to answer it, desperate to quiet the noise before it wakes her mother. When it swings open Madge is surprised by Prim.
"Oh," Madge blurts.
Prim frowns. "Oh?"
"I mean hello," Madge corrects herself, opening the door more. Prim smirks and enters. "My mom is sleeping, so…" Prim nods her head, understanding to be quiet, before disappearing into the living room. Madge heaves the door back into its frame before following. "Nice to see you," Madge nods while sinking onto the couch next to her.
"Here," Prim extends her hand. In it is a white rectangular card. "For you and your mom." Madge furrows her eyebrows but accepts it. "Read it!"
"Right," Madge nods. She glances down at the silver cursive handwriting and can only make out a few words because of how elegantly written it is. Harvest Festival. Next Saturday. "Um…"
"You're invited," Prim smiles, nudging Madge's shoulder. "According to the Capitol, you and your mom are family. No one's really expecting your mom to go but—"
"I don't have anything to wear," Madge blurts. The party is at the mayor's house, it always has been. Prim rolls her eyes. "I can't show up like this," she says, gesturing to herself. "I'd look like a fool. The nicest thing I've got to wear—"
"Katniss has a few dresses too small for her," Prim says gently. Madge jerks her head to the side immediately. She can't wear Katniss's clothes. "She told me to tell you to wear one! Before she left, she told me! Madge, you've got to come. You didn't send Katniss off at the train station." Madge's eyes dart back down to the card. "Please? There's going to be so much food there! And you'll get to dress all pretty! And we can dance together! Please, Madge! Please!"
"Prim," Madge groans and rubs at her forehead. "I don't—"
"Don't make me go alone," Prim pleads. "They freak me out."
"Okay," Madge caves when she sees the tiniest bit of fear leak into Prim's eyes. "Okay, I'll come."
"Yes!"
Prim grabs Madge's hands and squeezes tightly, telling her when to come over to Katniss's home in the Victors Village to get ready so they can do so together before leaning forward and kissing Madge's cheek. Prim scampers away happily, leaving Madge alone with a shiny white invitation.
After Prim is gone Madge spends her time sitting on the couch and tracing her fingers over the writing. "Madge, Sweetheart?" her mother's voice suddenly crawls out from the bedroom. "You home?" Madge hops to her feet and rushes into the bedroom, still clinging to the card. "Ah, there you are."
"Hi, Momma," Madge sinks onto the edge of the bed. "Feeling okay?"
"Oh, I'm fine," her mother waves her off and smiles sleepily. "Don't you worry about me." Tipping her head into a nod Madge eases more onto the bed, crossing her legs beneath her. "What's that in your hand?"
"What?" Madge doesn't realize her mother is so coherent. "This? Just some invitation," Madge shrugs, waving the card. Her mother props herself up on her elbows and cocks an eyebrow. "It's to the party at the mayor's house when Katniss gets back," Madge tells her. "Prim really wants me to go."
"Well I hope you do," Mrs. Undersee huffs. She blows a strand of hair from her face. "They'll treat you like the princess you are when you go!" Madge laughs and so does her mother. "You are going though, right? I'd like it if you did."
"You're invited too."
"We both know I wouldn't be able to walk all the way there," her mother frowns. "So go for me. Okay?"
"Okay," Madge nods.
They're both quiet for a bit before Mrs. Undersee sits up entirely. She reaches across the bed and grabs Madge's hand. "You know I love you, right?" The question startles Madge and all she can do is nod. "I would give you the world if I could."
"Momma—"
"I'm sorry I've been out of it," her mother whispers. "It isn't your fault, you know." Madge begs to differ, but says nothing. She looks so much like Maysilee, she knows she does. "We haven't talked about your birthday. It's been a bit."
"You've been sleeping a lot," Madge murmurs. Her mother squeezes her hand. "It was fine," Madge lies. It was a wreck. But her mom doesn't need to do that. "Thom got me this scarf," she says, gesturing to the fuzzy thing wrapped around her neck. "And Katniss got me those boots a while ago."
Again her mother squeezes her hand. "You know I would've gotten you something if I could've," Mrs. Undersee sighs.
"I know." Her mother can hardly get out of bed. On her good days she can walk around and cook dinner, but she hasn't had one of those for a while. Mrs. Undersee hasn't left her home since the loss of her husband. "Don't worry about it."
Her mother sighs loudly and pulls back her hand. "In the chest at the foot of my bed," Mrs. Undersee starts, "there's something wrapped up in a sock at the very bottom in the far left corner. Will you get it for me?"
Madge instantly scoots off the bed, moving herself to the chest that her parents brought with them when they were kicked out of town. It takes a moment for Madge to get the chest opened and another few to dig through all the old clothes to the bottom, but eventually she finds the sock. Madge sticks her hand down into it and pulls out something small and cold.
"Your wedding ring," she gasps, finally getting a good look at it. The ring itself is beautiful. It has a thin silver band and the jewel is a sapphire, bright and blue. "I thought you lost it," Madge says.
"After your father passed," Mrs. Undersee murmur, "I couldn't stand to look at it. It hurt too much. But I want you to have it, okay Madgey?" Hesitantly, Madge tips her head forward. She slides the ring onto her middle finger on her right hand, finding it fits rather well. "Don't sell it, baby," her mother whispers. "I know you sold May's… pin. That's okay, just don't…" she trails off, blinking a few times very hard. "I need to sleep," her mother says, continuing to blink. She slinks back onto the bed. "Happy birthday, Madgey. I love you so… much."
Mrs. Undersee's asleep before Madge can close the chest.
After Katniss and Peeta's engagement announcement Madge finds herself spinning her mother's wedding ring more often than not. She thinks back to Gale's words about a rebellion and wonders if this engagement helps or hinders the resistance, or maybe it doesn't affect it at all. There are times in which Madge has the urge to walk up to the mayor's house and ask for Gale, but there are so many Capitol citizens in and out preparing for the celebration that she pushes that idea from her mind entirely. She wonders if he tries to find her, to explain like he said he would, but days pass and Madge doesn't even see him.
Personally, Madge is happy for Peeta and Katniss. In a way. Every time Katniss has spoken about Peeta to Madge (though it isn't very often), Katniss has had a look in her eye that Madge hasn't seen with anyone else. And Peeta, he may not have wanted it like this, but he truly does love Katniss. Madge knows that in time, Katniss will love him back.
Today is the day of the Harvest Festival. Madge makes her way to Katniss's home in the Victors Village and quietly knocks on the door, secretly hoping that no one will hear her and she can turn around and go home.
But of course, Prim has been waiting all morning for her to arrive. She throws open the door and grins, ushering Madge inside.
"I've been digging through Katniss's closet all morning. Reyna thinks that you'd look best in blue and I agree that—"
"Reyna?" Madge chokes. Not her again.
"She's here to help us get ready," Prim nods.
Almost as if on cue Reyna emerges from some back room smiling broadly. "Lovely, lovely, lovely! Margaret Madge Undersee the boys are going to swoon over you tonight!" Oh, God no. "Quick, quick, let's get you upstairs to the showers! We haven't got all day to get you ready!"
A/N: I know it's been a while, I'm sorry! I got distracted with my other fic Coadunate Day and literally couldn't stop writing it. Hoping to get back to a normal schedule though! Thanks always to my superhero juniorstarcatcher who makes me a better person and a better writer always. Love you all!