Missing Him Was Dark Grey, All Alone..

Early the next morning I woke to find Troy had still not come back. I sat up and ran my fingers through my tangles. It was a scary thought to think he'd run for it. That I'd never see him again after last night. I couldn't take losing him again. My life without him was hell.. dark... I can't do it again. But if I have to then I have to. I still need to be strong for Jeremy. He's the only permanent thing in my life now. He is my life. I would do anything for him, absolutely anything. I finally manage to get out of bed and prepare for the day. Showering, brushing teeth, getting dressed and applying some make up.

"Morning sleepy head." Shapay greeted me as I walked out.

"Morning." I smiled softly.

"It's ten o'clock, usually you're up by at least eight." she moves closer to me.

"Yeah.. last night was.. difficult." I shrug.

"I'm sorry." she rubs my shoulder with sympathetic eyes. "He'll come back."

"What makes you so sure?" I plop down on the chair next to the dining table.

"He'd be dumb not to." she smiles.

"Maybe.. maybe not." I sigh. "I screwed up didn't I?"

"No, this is neither of your fault." she shook her head and took a seat across from me.

"Why do I feel guilty then?"

"That's just how you are Gabs." she leaned over and hugged me tight. "You'll be alright."

"Thanks." I rubbed her back and pulled away.

"Is our little man coming home today?"

"Yeah he is." I can't help, but smile at the thought of him.

"Good, I miss the squirt." she giggles.

"So do I, trust me." I stand and head to the counter where my purse is.

"Going now?" she questioned.

"Yup." I nod. "Wanna come?"

"Er, I can't.. shift at Annie's starts in an hour." she frown.

"See you when you get home then." I smile and head out.

I arrive in my parents drive way.. they still live in the same house. Getting out of the car and walking up to the front door, grabbing my keys out of my purse. I unlock the door and head inside shutting it behind me. The house smells of cinnamon. Oh, how I love the smell. From my mother's baking. I hear the TV in the living room roaring with a football game. Of course, dad's favorite. I smile and walk down the hall into the kitchen. I find my mother taking out her pan out of the oven.

"Hey mama." I walk over to her.

"Oh, Gabby!" she smiles brightly as she takes off her oven mitts.

"Back at your baking huh?" I smile.

"Yes, wanna stay for a bite?" she pulls me into a hug and kisses my cheek.

"No, I have some things to do back at the apartment." I put down my purse on the counter.

"Things with.." she pauses and looks at me with a slight frown.

"Yes, ma.. things with Troy." I sigh. "It won't hurt you to say his name ya know."

"Sorry hunny." she shrugs.

"Where's my little guy?" I look around.

"Out back playing in the tree house." she looks out the window and smiles softly.

"I'm gonna go get him." I head out back and see him in the tree house playing with his toys.

"Mommy!" he shouts with joy as he spots me. climbing down the steps of the tree, running over to me. I bend down and embrace him in my arms, picking him up. I kiss his head and he hugs me tight. Pulling back, holding onto my neck he smiles and looks at me. He is the spitting image of his father, the only thing he possesses of mine is my hair color. The rest is all Troy.

"I missed you baby." I smile at him.

"Me twoo." he kisses my nose.

"Have fun with grandma and grandpa?" I walk with him inside.

"Uh huh, but I missed you and auntie Sharpay!"

"Aw, we both missed you so much!" I giggle. "Go get your backpack now."

I set him to his feet and he runs off upstairs. "He's such a good kid." my mother smiles.

"Yeah, I know." I nod in agreement.

"I'm weady mommy!" he comes running downstairs and to me.

"Alright say bye to grandma and grandpa." I grab his hand in mine.

"Bye wuv you gwandma and gwandpa!" he waves to both of them and blows kisses.

"Let's go baby." I smile and tell my parents bye and we leave to the car.

I put him in the back and buckle him into his carseat. I go up front and start the engine and drive off. First we go get some ice cream then head off home. We stop by the front office and pay the rent then drive home. Once we park I get him out and he runs off to the door. I laugh as I shut and lock the doors. Running toward him and unlocking the apartment door. He runs inside and throws his backpack on the couch.

"Mommy!" he runs back out from our room. "Where my stuff?!"

"Oh, sorry hunny we put it in aunt Sharpay's room." I curse myself mentally. Fuck I forgot to put his things back.

"We'll get them moved back when she comes home okay?" I lean down and kiss his forehead.

"Otay." he nods and runs to his toxbox which is also in Sharpay's room.

It was almost eight in the evening.. still no word or sign of Troy. Sharpay and I had moved Jeremy's stuff back into my bedroom. She went out with her work friends for a drink. While Jeremy and I stayed home. Soon I put Jeremy to bed by 8:30, once I laid him down I started studying for my class. When I heard a knock at the door assuming it was Sharpay who forgot her key... again. I closed my book and walked to the door, opening it to find Mr. Troy Bolton himself standing in front of me.

"Troy?" I wrapped my arms around myself as I felt the cool breeze from outside.

"Hey.. can I come in?" he shoved his hands in his jean pockets.

"Of course." I nodded and stepped aside, letting him walk in.

"I need to tell you something." he let out a big sigh.

"Okay?" I shut the door and faced him. "What..?"

"First off I'm sorry for walking off." he ran his fingers through his hair.

"I understand it though.. you were overwhelmed." I shrugged.

"Yeah, I was." a ghost of a smile showed on his face. "But still I shouldn't of went."

"Anyways, anything else you need to say?" I moved a strain of my hair behind my ear.

"Um, about this whole having a kid thing.." he looked at his feet and back at me. "I don't know if I can do it."

"Hey I didn't know if I could do it either at first." I smile softly. "But I managed as will you.. besides you got me."

"I know, but even having you by my side I'm still not sure." he took a seat on the couch.

"Troy let me tell you something." I sat down next to him and placed my hand on his knee.

"What?" he looked from my hand to my eyes. They looked lost and confused.

"When I first found out I was pregnant, I pretty much had a mental breakdown. I didn't know what to do anymore." I took my hand off him and clasped my hands together. " There was a time during the pregnancy that I thought about adoption. I was looking through families and everything. It was so hard.."

"Gab-"

"No, let me finish." I took my lips into my mouth, then out and let out a breath. "But then I thought.. he's apart of me and you. He's ours. I had already lost you, I couldn't take losing someone else. When I had him I swear I was the happiest person on Earth." I smiled at the memory. "Yes, it's hard as hell to be a young parent. To be one in general. But it's when you look into their eyes or see their smile. That's when you know, you can get through it. Because you love them."

"What if I make a bad parent?" he leaned his head back on the couch. "I mean look at my past."

"You'll be a great dad Troy." I take his hand in mine.

"I just don't want to disappoint you." his eyes found mine once more.

"You could never disappoint me." I put my other hand on his cheek and made him face me.

"I love you Gabriella." he breathed on my lips, closing his eyes.

"I love you too, Troy." I leaned in and kissed him sweetly. "So much."

"So where is he?" he asked once we pulled apart.

"In my room." I smiled. "Wanna go see him?"

"Not if he's asleep." he shook his head.

"C'mon, we won't wake him. Just see him." I stood up and pulled at him.

"Alright." he got up and squeezed my hand. We walked into my room to see a snoozing Jeremy. He looked so sweet and innocent.

"That's him. Our Jeremy." I smile up at Troy.

"Wow.." he stares at him. "He's cute."

"I think he gets his looks from you besides the hair." I lean in closer to him.

"I guess so." he shrugged.

"You're ready." I kissed his cheek.

"I hope so." he looked down at me with fear filled eyes.

"You are.. I believe in you." I take his face in my hands and bring his lips to mine. His arm hooks around my waist pulling me as close to his body as possible.

To clear up something from the last chapter.. Gabriella had found out she was pregnant five months later. In some rare cases a woman can still have her period while pregnant. That's how Gabriella didn't know until she got a check up, ect ect. lol.. anyways hope you like it.

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xo troyellalover96 xo