Hello again, hope you're all well! Let's see what's going on in Sam's mind...
I hope you'll all enjoy my new one up- A Place Like Tomorrow!
Thanks to kelly2727, check out her awesome fic's!
Chapter 21- Platonic Butterflies.
It was probably insane to sit and watch someone sleep on your shoulder when you should wake them up to go to bed, but he really just couldn't help himself.
He didn't want to move.
She still smelled like her soap and cream as the sweet scents drifted to his nose, the closeness of her making him wonder why in the hell he was still single.
Okay, that wasn't completely true, he knew why he was still unattached and even though he wouldn't admit it, he was watching the reason sleep. Well, the newest one anyway.
On a daily basis he came into contact with women that would openly flirt with him, and some that would just hand over their number without being asked. It was as though they smelled his unattachment on him and hoped that they would be the one to change it.
But he wasn't looking to date or find company because at the end of every shift he couldn't wait to get home.
And she was a large part of that reason.
As if on cue, a strand of hair dropped over her face, a loose piece falling out of the loose bundle that she had tied her hair into.
Reaching out even though he knew he shouldn't, Sam swept the hair away from her face, her brow twitching as the movement tickled her skin.
Her hair was just as soft as he imagined it would be.
Tempted to trace a fingertip across the skin of her cheek, Sam tore his hand away from her before he woke her up and creeped her out with something that even he would find weird. Waking up to someone touching your face would probably be enough to make her pack her bag and run out at a moments notice.
Dropping his hand back into his lap, Sam kept his eyes on Andy as she let out a sigh. She really was a beautiful creature.
Glancing down at her hands, he took the sight of her pink skin in. They had healed and were healthy, her nails clean and just long enough to add a feminine touch to her delicate frame. There were no scars where her knuckles had been chapped and he was glad, hands like that shouldn't have a mark on them.
Sam pinched his eyes closed and let his head fall back onto the couch with a sigh.
Her hands?
Really? He was thinking about her hands?
Andy shifted slightly like his movements had disturbed her, so on instinct he shifted his arm and ended up moving her so that she now had her head halfway between his chest and the crook of his arm. She seemed content to stay in that position, so he picked his legs up and put his feet on the edge of the coffee table while getting himself comfortable.
Thinking it through, he'd never actually ever slept on his couch or on someone else's, with another person. It wasn't something he'd actually ever do, because he just wasn't that kind of person. But now, given the chance he didn't want to move.
Casting his eyes down Sam watched Andy some more while trying to clear his mind. It was zooming away with too many thoughts at the same time.
Andy's hand moved at that moment, his breath stalling as it wrapped around his forearm and held on.
It was easy to see why Bailey had preferred to snuggle up with Andy, this was just so euphoric and comfortable that he didn't really care anymore if she freaked out when she woke up and found him being used as a pillow by herself.
Even though it was wrong on so many levels, he was content to have the moment, even if it was a selfish one.
His reasoning on getting Andy to stay was selfish too, that was probably the worst thing about asking her to stay longer.
She was awesome with Bailey, unbelievable in fact but that wasn't the only reason he'd asked her to stay. It was just the only reason that he told her he wanted her to stay.
He wanted more time with her, he wanted to get to know her better, and try and get her to want to stay.
It was probably psycho, but there was just this unseen thing that drew him to her and he somehow had a gut feeling that it would be worth putting a fight up to get.
To get her.
Like that didn't sound at all weird.
With a sigh Sam took his eyes off of Andy and glanced at the TV to find a family Christmas dinner on the screen. There were grandparents, and parents and three kids, all of whom looked unrelated but it didn't matter because it was just a movie.
They had the typical Christmas dinner spread out on the table, turkey and pumpkin pie. Apple sauce and mashed potato.
He could easily lose himself in images of that happening in this house a year from now, with Andy still here, only she wasn't just here to look after Bailey anymore. She was here because she wanted to stay and had stayed for him and Bailey.
Sam's mind drifted to something Oliver had said when he had decided that he was going to propose to Zoe after they'd been dating for six months. Sam had tried to talk him out of doing it because he thought it was too soon, and he didn't want to have to stand back and watch his whipped friend get his heart broken.
'Brother, when she's the one, you just know' Oliver had said. 'You want to go home and she's there, you want to wake up to her every morning for the next seventy years. You want to share your deepest and darkest secrets with her, so that she can make them better and lighter. You'll know it's her when you just want to be around her, even if she doesn't know you exist'.
It had been a while since Sam had first heard those words, but somehow he'd never forgotten them. He just hadn't understood them completely until now either.
Oliver was a hopeless romantic and Sam had never really believed in the whole love thing until now. He'd seen Oliver and Zoe go through trials and tribulations and the birth of their two children, and yet he still hadn't completely understood what Oliver meant until this very minute.
He was falling in love with Andy McNally and there was simply nothing that he could do about it. Not that he wanted to change it, he wouldn't really because for the first time in well, a really long time, he felt alive. He felt content and happy and like his life wasn't as empty as it had been.
Bailey was the first one that changed him, she brought responsibility and meaning into his life like he'd never known.
But that was different.
With Andy, he was starting to feel things that he still didn't understand, and things he'd only ever heard about before now. Actually experiencing them was far from what he'd expected. He didn't believe in the 'butterflies in your stomach' analogy as an example.
He was trained to deal with fear, and situations that could easily escalate to out of control. The butterfly effect was suppressed because you had to have a handle on your emotions and fears, but having actually felt them and not being able to control them had cleared up that whole misguided conception that he'd had; that he could control his feelings and his emotions.
He hadn't planned on this happening, hadn't even seen it coming, but now that it was here he didn't want to stop it or let it go...
But that was him.
She didn't want to stay, she didn't want to be here.
Andy wasn't used to being a part of a family, or having a home and it was showing in the smallest of ways. The only thing he had never seen in her eyes was envy or jealousy.
She never looked at him or Bailey and wished that she had what they did. She never asked for anything and she was always so willing to give.
One thing he didn't like was the fact that she totally seemed to accept the unfair hand she had been dealt. She had given up on changing her life, most likely due to the fact that no matter how hard she had tried, she just didn't get anywhere.
She was a fighter, he'd seen that when she had been sick so why she gave up he had no idea.
Something Sarah had once told him came to mind, she had said 'If a relationship doesn't make you a better person, then you're with the wrong one' and he bit back a chuckle. If only she could see him now.
Technically he was in a platonic relationship with Andy, but he'd still changed a lot since she arrived. She had made him think outside the box, way beyond what he was used to thinking about. He wouldn't say that he'd never thought about having a family and getting married and retiring alive one day, he had. It was just that since she had arrived he found himself wanting it more than thinking about it.
Bailey was great, she was just as awesome as her mom had been. He had grown so used to having her around that he knew he was going to miss her once she left.
Oh crap.
He'd been so wrapped up in life that he'd forgotten about wanting to give her up for adoption.
Letting out a slow breath Sam scrunched his eyes closed tightly. He really had no idea how he'd even gotten himself into this position- but he had. Soon he'd be facing letting go in more ways than one, and the scary thing was; he didn't know if he was ready to let either of them go.
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Jelly Bean Jenna©