AUTHOR'S NOTE:

I am soooooo sorry, guys!

In my own stupidity I named the poor guy Zacharias.

*blushes and hangs head in shame*

Yeah, it's ZachariaH, and even though I only actually called him Zacharias in 18-20, I have changed it and feel positively shameful for calling him something he wasn't like a nickname for the poor douche.

All right, now that that apology is out of the way, I hope you're ready for the next three chapters.

Pups has been soooo much help to me, and I adore her.

Big Bad Demon credit and Castiel's new angel boss credit goes to her.

****

Two brown bottles sat on the coffee table in front of Sam as he stared blankly at the turned off television screen. He was lying down, and had resolved to sleep off the alcohol that he had ingested that day because he was feeling terrible. Five bottles after waking up with only a piece of toast to cushion his stomach was absolute torture on him, and he wished he'd listened to Dean before instead of pushing him out of the house. Sam was aware of all of the things that Dean had been doing for and had given up for him, and he knew he was being an ungrateful asshole.

"I just miss her." He whispered, closing his heavy lids and snuggling into the uncomfortable arm of the couch. "God…I miss her so much."

He'd effectively drifted off to sleep by the time Dean had been found by Mae and brought her back to the safe house. All Sam had done for the last two weeks was blame himself for pulling that trigger on her, not remembering that he had also killed Lilith in the process. Maybe it was the loss of the woman he'd come to fall in love with, or maybe it was the fact that he couldn't compete with the angel for her affections…and now could never try. He wasn't supposed to fall in love with her and he wasn't supposed to feel like he deserved her more than the angel that hadn't even been there—and those were the thoughts that haunted his slumber.

Dean kissed Mae's hand and stopped as they stood outside of the safe house. "I pray you can work your magic, Princess."

"Sammy?" Mae asked out loud as she crossed the threshold into the house. "Sammy?"

Mae followed Dean's pointer finger and headed into the living room, smiling a little at the sleeping giant. She headed straight for him and then motioned to Dean for him to help her to move him to his own bed, sighing when she saw the empty beer bottles. Sam was really taking her death hard, even though Mae wanted him to focus on the fact that he had taken out Lilith—saved the world from Lucifer's rise. Dean was carrying the brunt of Sam's body as Mae pondered and carried his large sneakered feet, trying to figure out how to help Sam out of the sadness that was enveloping him.

"If you just help me to get him onto his bed, I can take it from there." Mae assured Dean.

Dean dropped his brother onto the bed and nodded, leaving the room as Mae went about his dangled legs, untying and taking off his sneakers and his socks. Sam stirred a little, mumbling her name, and Mae looked up and couldn't help but smile a little at the care and love that came through his exhausted voice. She climbed onto the bed with him and she hooked her arms under his, hoisting him the rest of the way onto the bed and then straddling his midsection and undoing his belt. When she was finished and Sam had mumbled her name two more times, she unbuttoned the buttons on his dress shirt and struggled to get the shirt off of him, knowing getting the t-shirt off would be harder.

Coming back in to check on Mae and Sam's progress, Dean stopped in the doorway and chuckled a little as Mae tried to get Sam's t-shirt off. He knew she was trying to make him more comfortable, but the sight of her small female body trying to get the sasquatch's shirt off was entertaining. Mae shot Dean an annoyed look, and then she successfully got Sam's shirt off and tossed it into the clothes pile that she had been making with his clothes before she laid down next to him and Dean went to his own room. He wanted to leave her alone with Sam so that she could work the magic on him she'd always been able to work in the past, and once Sam was taken care of, he knew she'd focus on finding Castiel.

"I am so sorry I made you promise to shoot me." Mae whispered to Sam, running her fingers through his greasy locks of hair. "Remind me when you wake up from being passed out cold, drunk…that you need a shower."

She smiled a little and then snuggled up next to him—he smelt a lot better without the body odor and leftover smelling shirts on. Sam still desperately needed a shower, but Mae wanted him to sleep as much as possible, so she tolerated his worn body smell and soon found herself drifting off with him. In the middle of the night, Sam felt the churning in his stomach and hurried out of the bed, only faintly aware of the female bundle of warmth next to him. He got to the bathroom and threw up, coughing a little at how much his throat and now nostrils stung from the acidic violation.

Sam knew he would feel a lot better if he washed his face, not strong enough yet to take a shower and stand up on his own. The cool water made contact with his skin and he felt a little bit of the tension lift, but he still felt rather unable to stay in control of his emotions as he groped for the towel on the towel rope and dried off his face. He folded the towel and put it back, going out of the bathroom and stopping in his tracks—there was someone on his bed. As the moonlight hit her face, he was certain it was Mae…but Mae was dead and so this had to be a distraction…or a dream.

Because he knew he was hung over, Sam decided it was a hallucination and he ignored the figure as he slipped into the bed, under the covers. Unfortunately, Mae stretched a little and the soft skin of her foot reached out to brush Sam's as she lay there under the covers. Sam closed his eyes and his breath caught in his throat as he heard the audible sigh from her and reached out to touch her hair. He found her locks soft to the touch and when he caught the whiff of her hair he knew it was Mae…but how could she be there?

Sam turned over and he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close to him. She stirred a little in his arms and smiled, glad he was awake and receptive, allowing him to run his hands along her body to make sure she was real and not a figment of his imagination. When she whispered his name in question form, his lips captured hers and she let him kiss her lovingly until Sam started to deepen the kiss and Mae felt awkward and could taste the residual beer on him. She pushed on his chest gently and though he nodded, he wasn't actually expecting the words that came out of her mouth yet, a smile on her face.

"You smell terrible." She told him.

Sam chuckled loudly. "Is it really you?"

Mae nodded and held him close to her. "I wouldn't be able to get into the safe house if I was something fugly that went bump in the dark."

Sam stroked her hair. "How are you back?"

"I'll answer your questions…once you take a shower. Do you need help with that?" Mae asked him.

Sam blushed and shook his head, realizing for the first time that he was half undressed and had no belt on. He was certain Mae had done it and stayed with him, Dean obviously telling her that Sam needed her. It wasn't that he didn't need her—Sam knew that he did in fact need her—but he really didn't like her to see him like this…see him almost as vulnerable as when he had once drunk her blood. Sam had promised himself that he'd be more independent and more accepting, but he had failed and he felt like a failure and hated that Mae had to see that in him.

"I promise I'll still be here when you get out." Mae said, stroking his slight stuble. "And maybe you should shave."

Sam rolled his eyes at her as she laughed and placed a soft kiss to her forehead before getting up and heading to the bathroom. Mae lay in the bed and rolled over to look up at the ceiling, wishing she knew where Castiel was and why he was trying so hard not to be found. She had known that eventually the thing that they had between them was going to have to come to an end but it wasn't fair for him to not be aware that she was alive—unless he was aware. It could be that Castiel knew that she had been brought back, but with Lilith out of the way his place was elsewhere, and she would have to accept that…after finding him for Anna's sake.

"Where fore art thou, Cas?" Mae asked with a silly smile on her face, staring at the ceiling.

****

"I don't understand." The soft voice of the small, blonde woman told Castiel as she blew her nose into a tissue.

For the last two weeks, Castiel had been going directly from one job to another, healing, mending, and trying to forget. Every time he found a person he could help, he did what he could, and moved on when Camael gave him a more specific job to attend to. Helping people was keeping his mind off of everything that he had been through, and it was helping him to reconnect with the father. Now Castiel was standing in the home of a man who had lost his job due to a demon related accident, and he couldn't provide for his family. He had strong faith, and Castiel wanted to restore his family's faith in the lord by healing him so that he could go forth and spread his cheer.

"I am simply a messenger, but I would like to restore your faith." Castiel explained.

He had started to become a little more straight forward and hospitable in his human vessel, Jimmy occasionally pitching in his opinions on the matter when Castiel let his consciousness seep through. Jimmy was one of Castiel's only sources of comfort and conversation these long days, and with people to heal and demon havoc to mend and a new rising demon force to squash, he had little time for chatting. Castiel desperately longed for interaction with Anna or with Dean, but since he was trying to go back to the way that things were, he was trying to cut off the emotions.

"Why would God choose to heal me?" The man in the wheelchair asked, flattered and yet confused that a miracle had actually come to his doorstep.

Castiel tried to smile but he couldn't. "God has plans for you and for your family, and he wishes for you to enjoy the time together that you could have, had this hardship not befallen you."

The blonde woman nodded and squeezed her husband's hand. "You've proven true to your word so far, Castiel…we are willing to see this miracle."

Castiel nodded and reached out his hands, a warm light shining out of them as he ran his hands up and down and healed the man's legs. The last time he remembered healing legs was when he had first met Mae, and the thought brought him to the edge of emotions he was trying to suppress. He stood up since the man's legs were healed and let the woman wrap her arms around him to thank him as her husband got up and walked, leaving them to rejoice on their own as he felt the jingle. Castiel had gotten better at ignoring calls from Dean, but Camael was a completely different story.

"You've been doing well, Castiel." The angel told him.

Zachariah's replacement had been someone up farther on the 'angelic food chain': the Angel of Joy. In Castiel's great time and need, he had been sent the Angel of Joy as his new superior, and when he needed to do a job he met him in the meeting place and he would tell him what he thought of his last performance and send him somewhere else, or let him find his own new task to complete. Because of his role in helping Mae to better herself and ultimately decide to sacrifice herself for the greater good, Castiel was being given his space, and his free will allowed him to choose to do as many tasks as he wanted. Camael wouldn't mind if Castiel slowed down a bit more to enjoy the tasks instead of doing the tasks just to forget Mae, but as long as tasks were getting done, it was not his job to interfere.

Camael had chosen to inhabit a female body instead of a male one—a devout church goer in fact. She was a beautiful, with short chocolate hair and vibrant ocean colored eyes, and she had been bubbling with joy: she was the perfect candidate. He found it easier in the long run in his female vessel to be a woman initiating happiness and serenity, and so when he went out into the world to spread the word, the soft feminine voice came in handy. Sadly, the effect did not seem to be the same on Castiel—Castiel, the angel who was in need of happiness and serenity, but not willing to have try and find it.

"I believe you have another task for me?" Castiel asked.

Camael nodded, and tried hard not to furrow the feminine brow. "There is a new Demon Overlord…his name is Bael, and he has found himself a vessel."

****

Mae snuggled into Sam when he came out and pulled on a t-shirt and some boxers and crawled back into the bed. She knew that Sam needed the comfort and reassurance that her presence gave him, and without Castiel to hold onto and be reassured herself that she was really alive again, Sam was her next choice. Sam felt her turn over onto her side, her back to him, so he pressed her chest up against her and held her tightly to make sure she'd never leave him again. Welcoming each other's comfort and protection, they lay there in silence for a long while before Sam started to get fidgety and Mae smiled a little, her eyes closed.

"Can you…do you…?" Sam trailed off and Mae turned over in his embrace and looked him in the eye.

"I was willing to sacrifice myself to save the world and was rewarded by being brought back to life." Mae explained. "It's kind of cool, actually—I'm determined to live this one right. No suicide, no shutting down, no dwelling on what happened before…third time is the charm."

Sam chuckled at the ridiculous cliché. "Oh really? I suppose that means that your virginity is back for the third time as well?"

Mae groaned. "Okay this is seriously overdoing it! When you break something can't it just stay broken?"

Sam laughed again and she joined him, turning over again so that he could spoon her and hold her close. He drifted off peacefully, not aware of her getting up out of his arms the next morning to eat some breakfast with Dean. For the next two days in fact, Sam tried desperately not to leave Mae's side, and as happy as she was that he was finally sober, clean and happy, she was starting to want her space. She had explained to Sam and Dean that she knew only what Anna had told her about her being brought back—she didn't know how, just why. The first question Dean had asked while Sam was trying to figure out what had happened was where she went, and Mae told him that her act of sacrifice must have saved her from Hell, because she honestly couldn't remember being dead. She recalled a peaceful calm, but she was certain that it had not been heaven—she just hadn't been sent back down to the pit for torture.

"Donuts? Are you serious?" Sam asked as he came into the kitchen that morning, looking at Mae and Dean researching.

Mae and Dean had been practically inseparable while looking for Castiel, Mae surfing the web and Dean alternating between his brother's laptop and newspapers. They'd been living off of pre-packaged snacks and tap water, and Sam was starting to yearn for even diner food. Mae was practically straining herself to find Castiel with absolutely no luck in the matter, and every time Dean thought he found something it would send into overdrive. Sam sat down next to them and sipped some water, wishing they had coffee but the two hunters he lived with were too lazy to go to the store to buy any—even though Mae knew how cranky she got going through coffee withdrawals.

"Okay, how about this? 'Man paralyzed for life says God healed his legs'." Dean said out loud.

Mae looked up at him suddenly. "Is there an address or a name to go with this man?"

Dean sighed. "Even if there was, Mae, it happened two days ago."

Mae shrugged. "So what? It's a place to start and if it is Cas, I'm sure the family would be more than willing to share. When God does something for you, you're supposed to go out and spread the word to the world. If there was anything I retained from Sunday School, it was that."

"You never told us you went to Sunday School." Sam told her as Dean laughed at the thought of little Mae actually sitting through bible lessons.

"You never asked." Mae replied with a shrug.

Dean nodded and sighed. "His name is Carl Grant and he lives in Ohio."

Mae nodded and started to type furiously on her laptop, bringing up sites she would have to hack into. She wasn't as skilled a hacker as Sam so she handed the laptop over and Sam sighed a little—it wasn't that he didn't want to find Castiel…it was that he wasn't quite ready yet for what finding the angel was gong to mean. If Castiel was busy doing task after task than eventually that meant bringing the hunters to yet another demon's doorstep and telling them to go ahead and go inside. When she looked at him pleadingly though, Sam knew he couldn't resist her and simply hacked in and they found Carl's address.

Just like that Mae had grabbed her coat and shut her laptop to bring it with her in the car, asking the boys if they were coming or not. Dean was the first one up and ready, missing the action of the hunt even though he was pretty sure they weren't going to find anything, and then Sam followed behind, not wanting to be left out of the action. Mae climbed into the backseat and waited for Dean to turn the engine over, making sure to get them the directions to Carl's house. It was going to take them a while to get there, but for Castiel…Mae was willing to do anything.