A/N: I will soon have a blog, where I can put all of those pesky links for you to look at and listen to. A huge thank you to MinaRivera, web designer extraordinaire, for working her butt off, not only to create my blog, but for teaching me how to use it. I lurves you THIS BIG, Mina!

And now, on with the show!

Edward's POV

"But I have been alone, so terribly alone. I waited for my love, and I had given up hope of ever finding her... finding you. I knew from the moment I saw you that you were the love I've been waiting for, for all of these long, empty, cold years. You are my life now, Bella."

I fell silent, waiting.

She pulled away from me, and I was devastated. It was too much for her. I had lost her already. I should have known someone as good and sweet as she was wouldn't be able to accept the monster that I was. My heart crumbled as I contemplated the empty years in front of me without her. I wanted to weep.

She turned to look at me then, and I turned away, so she wouldn't have to gaze upon my horrible face. I squeezed my eyes closed, so I wouldn't have to see the disgust I knew would be in her eyes.

I had never felt such pain in my entire existence.

"Edward! No! Look at me!" she cried.

I didn't want to. I didn't want to see the death of all of my dreams of love and joy on her face.

Alice was bombarding me from her room with visions of Bella and I in a flower filled meadow, and it ripped me apart. Why was she showing me what I had lost? It felt so cruel.

I kept my head down and finally raised my eyes to hers.

"You have to swear to me, swear to me that you will never lie to me, or withhold information that I need. Do you swear?" her voice was firm, scolding, even. But it held not a trace of disgust. Could it be possible? A tiny spark of hope burst to life in my silent heart. Could she possibly not despise me and what I was?

"You... you don't... hate me?" I choked out.

Her eyes were warm, accepting. How could this be?

"No, I don't hate you. Edward, I love you. I didn't just say that because you did! Now swear to me," she demanded again.

Yes ma'am! I had her in my arms before the next second could pass. "I swear to you, love. I swear I will always be completely honest with you." I was so completely elated. "I love you, my Bella."

I could hear Alice's squeal from here.

I had to kiss Bella. Nothing could have stopped it from happening.

"I love you, too," she breathed, just before my lips claimed hers. My tongue slipping into her mouth was like coming home, and I never wanted to leave.

Desire was still so new to me. It would have been so easy to let it sweep both of us away. I had seen it plenty. I lived with three mated couples, after all. But feeling it was altogether different. Emmett had once told me that he often picked fights with Rosalie, just for the 'make-up sex' which he claimed was 'the awesomest thing ever!' I had no point of reference to that claim, but I knew that kissing Bella, knowing that she was still mine when I had been so sure I had lost her was the most incredibly erotic thing I had ever felt. My body was responding accordingly, and I had to fight to remember the rules of decorum. But, god, I wanted her.

My hands on her back, her shoulders, sliding into her hair, cupping her warm neck. Her scent surrounded me, intoxicating. Feeling her hands gripping my shoulders, her small fingers threading into my hair. Her breath coming in short gasps, her tiny whimpers of desire... I had to force myself to stop so that she could breathe.

I wanted to do things to her that I knew were completely impossible. Things that only lived in my imagination, and could never be brought to reality, even after we married. But oh, how I wanted them.

Just not enough to risk her life.

I sat back to let her catch her breath, just grinning at her, and I could only surmise that I looked like a complete twit. I couldn't help it. I was just so... happy. For the first time in as long as I could remember, and keep in mind that vampires have perfect memory, I was truly happy.

"So," she smiled back at me, "I'm in love with a vampire. Does this happen a lot? I mean human/vampire couples?"

I gusted a laugh at her blithe tone. "Not so much. I have female cousins in Alaska that are, we believe, the origins of the succubi legend. They are... ahem... quite free with their affections with human men. I've never heard of a male vampire and a human female. The... um... physics alone make it nearly impossible. Relations would probably result in the human's death." By the end, I was so completely uncomfortable with what I was saying, and I wondered why I was volunteering the information. She hadn't asked for it.

She didn't look happy about what I had told her, but she didn't comment on it. "So you said that Alice and Jasper are married. Vampires believe in marriage?"

"Most don't, no. We're... unconventional. I suppose it has to do with our lifestyle. We adhere to mostly human tenants and morals. We call ourselves vegetarians, and Carlisle, that's our father, thinks it has to do with our heightened sense of our humanity. Carlisle is a doctor, and in his more than three hundred and sixty years, has never had human blood, outside of when he changed us. He's the one that taught us all that we could survive on animals. Most vampires that... erm... eat humans... don't hold humans in high regard. They think of them like humans think of cows or chickens; merely a food source." Christ, I'm a babbling idiot.

"Three... hundred... and you're a hundred and five. Amazing. So you all don't age?" She was amazing. She showed absolutely no fear, and hadn't since we began to tell her what we were.

"No. I was turned at seventeen, but I can pass for up to twenty four or so."

She eyed me critically, "Hm, yes. I can see it now." She suddenly looked serious. "Edward, those people... that tried to rob us... you killed them, didn't you?" She bit her lip, but still didn't look frightened.

I had promised her honesty. "Yes, Bella. I had to. They would have killed you. They wanted to kill me, but a gun wouldn't do it, as you know." I fingered the bullet hole in my shirt.

Her eyes narrowed, "How do you know that they were going to kill us? Or me, at least."

Now it was going to get hairy. I sighed, "I can read minds." Before she could go into a full-on freak out, I hurried on, "Except for yours. I can't read your mind. It's quite frustrating, at times."

"Is something wrong with me? Perhaps the Usher?" She looked relieved. I didn't blame her. I know how uncomfortable I had made my family over the years.

"I don't know, Bella. But to be completely honest," I flashed her a small smile, "I rather like it. I have to work harder for you, to understand you. If you hadn't turned out to be my mate anyway, I would have-" I stopped talking.

Oh. Shit.

"Wait, what? Your mate? What is that supposed to mean?" Oh, now she looked alarmed.

"Well, you see... when a vampire finds another vampire that they are completely compatible with, an instant bond happens. It's the vampire equivalent of love at first sight. The mate bond is love, but it's also desire, loyalty and instant need to be together. It's... permanent."

"Permanent? Like, forever?" I nodded. "So if I had decided to run from you-?"

"I would have wanted to be destroyed. A vampire that loses his or her mate also loses the desire to exist. It's like losing half of yourself. I would have lingered as long as you lived, checking to make sure you were safe, but when you died, I would follow you as soon as could be arranged."

Tears welled in her eyes. "Edward, you must never talk about destroying yourself! Do you hear? Never!" She flung herself into my arms.

"Shh, love. It's not an issue. We love each other, all is well." I buried my nose in her hair, once again happy just to hold her and know she was mine. I didn't tell her that this would have to play out the same way, together or apart; when she died, I would follow. I felt a twinge of guilt, breaking my vow to her already.

She stayed in my arms, her head pressed to my chest. "Edward, you said I'm your mate, and that you felt it when you first saw me. But I'm not a vampire. How could you feel that with me? And how could I fall in love with you immediately as well?"

I sighed and shook my head, "I don't know Bella. I have many, many questions for my father, at this point. He's lived so long, perhaps he knows more about these things than I do. I'd like to take you back home with me, so you can meet him and my mother, and the rest of my family. And so I can talk with my father about... well, us."

"I think I'd like that. Do you know I can hear you so much better when my ear is pressed to your sternum? When do you want to go?" Her voice was quieter, she was exhausted.

"We can leave as soon as we return to New York. You can make whatever arrangements you need, pack and close your house, and we can be off. I have the rental car for as long as I need, and I can make arrangements for them to pick it up in Forks."

Her voice was getting faint, "Mmm. That sounds good. I can be ready in a few hours, once we get back to the city." She pressed a kiss directly over my heart, and I shivered. Maybe she didn't notice that my shirt was gaping open, but I sure did.

She suddenly yawned, burying her head in my chest. "Oh, excuse me! Wow. I don't want to sleep, I'm fascinated talking about all of this, but it has been quite a day."

"And you should get some rest." I chuckled at her. "We have the entire drive back, plus the drive across the country to answer all of your questions, love."

I pulled her to her feet, pressing a kiss to her sweet lips, and led her to her bedroom door. I cupped her face in my hands, gazing into her sleepy eyes. "I love you with everything that I am, Isabella. I am the luckiest vampire in existence to have found you."

"I love you, Edward. I've never been in love before. I'm so happy my first love is you."

With a last kiss, I stepped back and let her close her door.

Knowing she was so close was going to kill me. It was going to be a long, lonely night.

E/N: Damn it Edward! Didn't she JUST ask you to not withhold information? You can't trust vampires. *SMH*

All right, the next chapter is the trip back! What would you be asking your vampire boyfriend on the road trip? If I like your question, I'll add it to the story, and credit you! W00t!