Reunions are sweet....this chapter has a lemon for those of you at work ;)

Chapter 21

Bella

I woke up stiff from sleeping on the couch and idly wondered what time it was. I let my eyes rest on the clock and saw that I'd been sleeping for fourteen hours. I must have exhausted myself with that ridiculous breakdown yesterday. I hadn't slept this long in a while. I seemed to have gotten past that hump a few weeks ago and didn't need to sleep constantly anymore.

I blinked, trying to wake up, when suddenly the images from yesterday came flooding back. I whimpered with the pain it shot through me.

Edward thought I'd cheated on him.

I laid there, unable to move, as I struggled to get the pain under control. My mind was still futilely trying to make sense of everything.

Yes, the way Seth and I were sitting looked bad. I'll be the first to admit that. To someone on the outside, the comfortable way we were together and the way his hands were inside my sweatshirt was the most damning of evidence. But this was Edward. How could he have ever thought for one minute that I would do something like that to him? That I would destroy everything we've built together? And how could he just turn around and leave, not giving me any chance to talk to him?

I spent months wishing he was here and that he was back home with me. I'd spent weeks learning to cope without him and bury my pain down to where no one could see how pitiful I truly was. He had no idea how inconceivably hard it was for me to live here--in this house--without him. To go through my daily life like I hadn't lost some vital piece of myself.

When that wish finally came true, I was only able to see him for a moment before he turned and left me again, sobbing hysterically in a crumpled heap on the floor.

The more I thought about it, the angrier I got. He should know that I would never do anything to jeopardize our relationship. He should trust me; I'd never given him a reason not to. Worse though, he should have had enough sense and reasoning to talk to me instead of bolting out the door like he was on fire.

Even while he was gone--thousands of miles away--he was my life, my world. He still was, regardless of how stupid he was being.

The pain the entire situation brought me seemed to try to annihilate my chest in one bone-crushing strike. It was so much worse, knowing Edward was in Seattle but not with me, than it ever was to know he was thousands of miles away and doing something good with his time. I laid there struggling to breathe, to control it, knowing instinctively that I needed to calm down. All this stress had to be bad for the baby. The last thing I wanted was to hurt her in any way. It wasn't her fault her parents were acting like a couple of idiots right now.

After a few moments I realized it was not going to die down to its usual dull ache and resigned myself to starting the whole "healing" process again. It was such a load of crap. I was never going to heal without Edward by my side. I'd kill to have him here so I could reach out and slap some sense into him. It might make me feel a little better, though I seriously doubted it. A good tongue lashing might do the trick, though. I 'd love to see his startled reaction when I told him how much of a selfish, immature prick I thought he was being to the mother of his child.

Yeah, that'd get his attention all right.

I sat up and rubbed my face with my hands, desperately hoping that a shower would help remedy the massive ache I was now feeling. I stood up and stretched, trying to work the kinks out of my body when I heard a quiet, familiar gasp.

I whipped my head around to see Edward sitting in the chair. His eyes were wide with shock as they stared at me--more specifically at my stomach. Any anger I had toward him melted as soon as I saw his glorious face; I could never stay mad at him. It was a blessing as much as it was a curse.

I wrapped my arms around myself, blushing furiously. I hadn't really planned this moment, but I knew this was definitely not how I wanted him to find out.

His voice came out weak, almost inaudible. "Bella, you... You're..." He couldn't seem to form a coherent sentence or thought. "How could I not have known?"

Tears pricked my eyes, and my head swam. Tiny black dots danced in my vision, and my knees buckled. I grabbed the edge of the couch and sat down before I collapsed. Apparently my brain had had just about all it could stand.

Edward was here. He looked a little worse for wear, but he was here. With me. His mere presence was like a soothing balm on my wounded heart.

But what did it mean?

"What are you doing here?" I asked breathlessly. "You didn't seem to want anything to do with me yesterday."

"I live here, remember?" He gave me a sad smile, clearly knowing his joke fell flat. "I wanted to talk to you." He stared at me meaningfully. "We obviously have a lot to talk about."

I shifted and looked at the floor. "Yeah."

He came over and grabbed my chin with his hand, gently forcing it up so that he could look at me. The fire that raced through my veins with his touch caused the ache in my chest to flare up. I wasn't sure if I could live through this--whatever this was.

"Please don't look away from me. I've lived for too long without being able to look into those beautiful eyes of yours." I felt my eyes well up with tears again as my eyes met his. I was such a hormonal mess. "I need to apologize to you."

The tears spilled over, dripping down my face. "Seth found you?"

He nodded. "But I was coming back anyway. I shouldn't have left like that. After my initial reaction, I realized I didn't think you could do anything to hurt me. And if you did, it didn't matter."

"So... You don't think I cheated on you?" My voice shook with the tears I cried.

I knew I should be furious with him, but I couldn't find the strength to. Any of the anger I'd felt earlier seemed to have evaporated into thin air. The joy I felt at just being able to look at his beautiful face--to hear his musical voice--overpowered anything else.

He took a deep breath. "No. Bella, I had so many hopes and expectations of how it would be when I came in and surprised you. I never expected to see you sitting on the couch with Seth. You have to understand, it looked like his hands were in your shirt and he was getting ready to kiss you. I didn't even give myself a chance to think before I left. I simply ran.

"All night, I thought about it. Over and over. I couldn't seem to convince myself you would do that to me. And then Seth found me at the hotel I was staying in and I knew that you two weren't together in any way except as friends." He paused. "Bella, I owe Seth so much for being here for you while I was gone. I could spend my whole life trying to repay him, but it would never be enough."

"Edward, what do you mean if I did, it doesn't matter?" My voice trembled. I couldn't get my hopes up yet. We still hadn't talked about the baby. I wasn't sure how he'd react to becoming a father so soon after we met.

"Just that it would have been my fault." I opened my mouth to protest but he lifted his hand and continued. "I left you here. I hurt you. I should have never gone. It was the biggest mistake of my life." His voice broke on the last part.

"I don't understand."

He chuckled bleakly. "Isabella, I love you so much. The entire time I was gone, I felt like someone had ripped a hole in my chest and taken my heart. I could barely cope without you. I didn't eat, didn't sleep. I felt dead inside. I went through the motions while I was away, trying to hide the pain I felt from everyone until I was alone, although I realize now they all knew how much I missed you. When I wasn't working, I let the misery take me. Bella, you are my sun. My life revolves around you. By leaving you, I was trying to do the impossible; I was trying to defy gravity. It was only a matter of time before you pulled me back in."

He leaned over and gently kissed me. His sweet smell washed over me, and I felt my lips part with his, letting his tongue trace over mine. My heart beat furiously, pounding loudly in my chest. He pulled back and smiled as I struggled to catch my breath. My heart had taken up so much space I felt lightheaded, dizzy. I took a deep breath, waiting for the ache to flare. There was nothing. I was wonderful, complete--whole. It was like he'd never left.

"Edward, I love you. I've missed you so much." My voice caught in my throat. "The entire time you were gone I lived with this constant pain. I didn't come back to the house for almost a month; I couldn't bear to be reminded of you. I was empty, missing so much of myself I could barely function or breathe. I could hardly be alone. I needed to constantly be with someone else so that I was distracted from the pain." I stopped when I saw guilt flash through his emerald eyes. "I'm sorry." It was pointless to dwell on how much his trip hurt us both.

"No, it's okay." He took a deep breath. "You cannot imagine the guilt I feel. I will spend the rest of my life making this up to you. I will never leave you again."

"I know," I breathed, resting my forehead on his as he cupped my face in his hands. "But there's nothing to be guilty about."

"That's what you say now," he muttered. "Bella, there's something I have to tell you."

I stiffened with his tone. He seemed wary, afraid. "Okay," I said slowly.

"Last night." He broke off, taking a deep breath. "Last night after I left here, I went to a bar and got drunk."

"And?" I didn't understand the problem.

"I ran into Tanya." I waited, terrified of what was coming next. "I started to take her back to the room I was going to stay in. In the elevator, she kissed me. Bella, I didn't kiss her back, I swear. I'm so sorry."

"Were you going to sleep with her?" My throat had constricted with my fear.

"Yes. But I couldn't do it," he hurried. "I realized then that I didn't care if you slept with Seth or not. I knew I could never be with anyone else but you."

"So you were going to sleep with her because you thought I'd cheated on you with Seth."

"Yes. I was angry, and I was hurt. I suppose I wanted revenge. It was a stupid, drunk mistake, Bella. Please tell me I didn't ruin my relationship with you," he begged. It was strange thing to see. He was always so confident, so strong. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

"She kissed you?" I asked stoically. I needed this to be perfectly clear.

"Yes. I ran into Seth in the hall outside my room. I'm pretty sure he heard me tell Tanya I couldn't do that to you. I promise you, nothing happened."

I sat there, watching his anxious expression closely. I knew he wasn't lying to me, but I had a hard time understanding how he could just turn away from something supposedly so important to him without a second thought. If he'd have gone through with it, I wasn't sure if I'd ever be able to forgive him. That thin line of trust we were carefully treading across would have been severed forever.

In the end, the decision was surprisingly easy. I needed Edward like I needed air to breathe. I knew he would never do anything to purposely hurt me, so there was no doubt that something like this would never happen again. I'd never once, in the many years that I had left to walk this earth, have to worry that he was cheating on me.

I nodded my head. "I believe you." His eyes locked on mine. "But if you ever do anything like that again, so help me I'll kill you." My voice was hard.

"I'm sorry," he said again, kissing me hard--gratefully.

I gave him a tight smile. "You could have destroyed everything last night."

"I know, don't remind me. I was an idiot. I will never do anything like that again. Like I said, I have a lot to make up to you. I will spend the rest of my life trying." He looked at me seriously. "How are you feeling?"

I wasn't sure if he was being a good doctor or just being a concerned fiancé. "I'm all right."

He nodded. "Bella, what exactly were you and Seth doing when I came home?" he asked hesitantly.

"He was trying to feel the..." I trailed off.

I was too frightened of his reaction to say the word. He obviously knew I was pregnant, but I had yet to acknowledge it out loud. It was stupid, but I wanted that romantic vision of surprising him with the news. Now, it merely felt awkward and forced.

"Baby?" he prompted.

I looked into his eyes and saw them swimming with so much love and acceptance, it took my breath away. He was honestly the most amazing human being I'd ever known.

I nodded my head, too choked up to be able to speak. Maybe all of my fears had been for nothing, and Edward was just as excited about impending parenthood as I was, regardless of how unplanned it happened to be.

He slowly inched down my body and lifted my shirt up, resting his hands on the small bump of my stomach. He pressed his lips to it and smiled.

"I'm so sorry I missed part of this." I could hear the tears in his voice.

"Edward..." I couldn't say anything. I was almost sobbing from the joy and relief I felt with this obscenely perfect moment.

To my utter shock, the baby began to furiously kick Edward's hands. His head snapped up, his eyes bright with emotion. He broke out into a exuberant, wide smile.

"Bella!" he breathed.

I ran my thumb across his cheek, wiping the single tear that fell. "She doesn't want her daddy to cry," I said, my voice thick with my own tears.

"A girl?" he asked softly.

"I think so," I said, smiling.

"You haven't found out yet?" he asked.

"No, I have an ultrasound on Thursday."

He looked back down at my stomach, rubbing his thumb across it soothingly. "Hey, little girl," he cooed. "I love you." He was responded by a swift kick in the palm of his hand.

He moved back up to my face and kissed the end of my nose. "Thank you," he said fervently.

"For what?"

"For this. For you. For us. You could have..."

I was appalled. I'd never once considered not having her. "Never."

He brought his mouth to mine, kissing me almost sweetly at first. Our kiss deepened, and he moved his hands to the small of my back, closing the space between us. My hands snuck their way into his hair, desperate to feel it against my fingertips. The need I had for him was excruciating--it was pulsing from my core throughout my entire body.

Without breaking the kiss, he pulled me into his arms and took me to our bed, laying me down gently. We quickly undressed each other, both longing to feel that curious burn that ignited when our skin made contact. He ran his hands all over my body, caressing each part of my skin softly, lingering on my stomach. I felt chills go down my spine as he ran his gaze over me.

"You are so beautiful, Bella." His fingertips traced patterns on my thigh. "I've missed you so much. I've dreamed of making love to you again almost every night for the last four months."

He brought his mouth to my breast, nipping and sucking my nipple as his hand massaged it gently.

I bit my lip and moaned. The feelings that warred with the sensations he sent through me were almost overwhelming. "Oh, God."

His other hand made its way down my body so that his long fingers could move inside me. My body had missed him so much, that I came almost immediately.

He crushed his mouth to mine, smothering the cry that came out of my throat as the intense waves over me.

He moved his body in between my legs and pushed himself into me. The connection we had was indescribable.

"Bella," he breathed against my mouth. "You feel so good."

He continued to kiss me as he drove himself rhythmically into me. He wrapped his arm around my waist and shifted my body so that he could thrust further into me, causing me to groan. His hands moved up my body and trailed up my arms, stopping when he reached my hands. His fingers intertwined with mine, holding on tightly.

He broke away from the kiss and pulled his face from mine. "Bella, look at me."

I opened my eyes and looked into his. My heart fluttered in my chest, and I felt my walls tighten around him.

"I'm going to come," I said, practically moaning.

"Bella, I'm so sorry. I love you." Edward grunted.

My orgasm shot through me as Edward cried out, releasing himself into me.

"I love you, too."

Edward

We laid in bed together, unable to take our eyes off each other and constantly touching and kissing, as if we were afraid we would wake from a dream.

After months of living in constant agony, the relief I felt as I held Bella in my arms was overwhelming. I was home, she was safe with me, and we were having a baby.

A baby.

The love that surged through me with just the thought was impossible to comprehend. How could I love something so completely in such a small amount of time? I'd only known since I'd first seen Bella a few hours ago.

But Seth was right. It was obvious. Bella wasn't showing much at all; anyone who didn't know her wouldn't assume right away she was pregnant. But I knew Bella's body like my own. I'd memorized every curve, every scar and every freckle. I absently ran my hand across the small bump in between her hipbones before resting it on the bed.

She was even more beautiful to me now than she'd ever been. Her hair was fuller, shiner. Her beautiful, creamy skin was even more incredible; it was radiant. Her body was curvier. Juicy. It was the only way I could describe it.

She was carrying my child. We had created something amazing before I left.

God, I feel like such a cornball.

I'd never really given much thought to being a father. For so long, I wasn't sure it was something I wanted. My work was my life... until I met Bella. The moment I realized I was in love with her, my priorities changed. I wanted to marry her and have children with her. It was still unfathomable to me that she felt the same way as I did. I must have done something great in a past life to deserve this, but I still didn't feel worthy with all of the pain I'd managed to cause her in the last few months.

How could I ever make it up to her? I still didn't have the answer, but I knew I would die trying. I'd never give her any reason to doubt my love for her again. I'd never do something as stupid as I had done yesterday. I would do everything in my power to keep her happy.

Now that I was engaged and having a baby, it seemed absurd to think I had never wanted this before. I wondered idly when it happened. We were always so careful... Weren't we? I tried to think back, remembering the boxes of condoms we seemed to be buying weekly. I couldn't remember not ever using one. Did one break? I realized I didn't even know how far along she was. She was scheduled to have an ultrasound on Thursday.

My brain quickly morphed into doctor mode. It took me a while to recall everything I'd learned in med school and during my residency. Usually an ultrasound was performed approximately half way into a pregnancy. I did a quick calculation in my head that stopped me short. It would have been just before I left.

"Bella?"

"Hmm?" She snuggled deeper into the crook of my arm; I smiled.

I moved my other hand and rested it on her stomach. "How exactly did this happen?"

She seemed confused. "What do you mean?"

"Well, I was just wondering how you could be pregnant since we were careful." My thumb rubbed circles on that beautiful bump.

"Think about it Edward." She shifted in my arms and looked at me.

I met her gaze. "What?"

"Think about it. Was there ever a time that we didn't use a condom?" I saw the amusement in her eyes. Apparently, she knew the answer.

My eyes never left hers as I tried to figure it out. I thought of the few weeks before I left and disregarded every time. Each and every time, I'd used a condom. And I couldn't remember any of them breaking.

So when was it? I thought about the perfect weekend we spent in bed. Still, I distinctly remembered using a condom every time... because I hated that I still had to use them. It was frustrating to stop and put one on each and every time. Bella wasn't scheduled to see her doctor until the end of December. Condoms weren't the best way to prevent a pregnancy, but they had to do until then. And they'd always worked for me in the past.

Suddenly, I remembered the tearful scene in the shower the morning I left. I was completely overcome with emotion just knowing that it would be the last time I would be with Bella before I met up with Carlisle and Esme.

Shit!

"In the shower. The morning I left."

"Yep." She laid her head back on my chest.

I was stunned. How could it have only taken us one time? Rose and Emmett had been trying for months and still nothing.... Although, I quickly realized I couldn't say for certain anymore. For all my brother knew, I was still in the jungle with our parents.

"It only took us one time?"

"It would seem so." I could hear the smile in her voice.

"Wow," I said, still stunned.

"Rose thinks you have super sperm," she giggled.

"Super sperm, right," I muttered sarcastically. "Emmett and Rose know?"

"Yeah."

"Are they...?" I trailed off. I wasn't sure why.

She knew what I was asking. "No. Not yet."

I could only imagine how Rosalie reacted to Bella's news. "How did Rose take it?"

"She was pretty pissed at first. But the next morning she apologized. I'm still not sure if she meant it or not. You know how Rose is, she has a tendency to overreact. And she seems okay with it now. But I'm not sure if I would use the term happy just yet." She sighed.

My brows knit in frustration. Bella had had to tell everyone about the baby herself. "What about everyone else?"

"Jazz is fairly happy. He's using the term 'uncle' to describe himself. Alice is ridiculously excited. She's dying for me to let her shop for the baby." I chuckled at the typical Alice behavior.

"You haven't bought anything yet?" It wasn't really surprising given Bella's aversion of shopping, but I was surprised Alice hadn't convinced her to go with her at least once.

"No. I've been waiting for you," she said quietly.

My heart immediately felt ten pounds heavier with guilt. I cleared my throat. "What about everyone else?"

"Emmett's excited. He calls almost every day and asks how his niece is doing. Renee's... okay with it. She was mostly worried about how you would feel being thrown in to an unplanned pregnancy when you got home." I could imagine the blush spreading across her cheeks. "Charlie was pretty upset at first, ranting and raving about how I got myself 'in this position'. But he's coming around. He calls every day and checks on me, asks how I'm feeling, if everything's all right with the baby."

Now the guilt was so heavy, I felt like I had an anvil on my chest. "I'm sorry you had to do that alone."

"I know you are, baby," she said softly.

I needed to change the subject. "So you've been hanging out with Seth a lot lately." It wasn't a question, more like a statement since I already knew the answer.

"Yeah. Edward, he's been so great. I don't know how to describe it. I always had fun with him when we hung out in high school, but lately he's been like family. Like a goofy younger brother."

"You've avoided everything that reminded you of Jacob. Can I ask what changed?" She seemed to have slowly stopped avoiding all things that reminded her of him before I left, but she still seemed a bit uncomfortable around Seth.

"You."

I cocked my eyebrow. "What?"

"I stopped avoiding things that reminded me of Jacob when I fell in love with you," she clarified.

"Oh." My genius response.

I could feel her smile against my chest. "It was mostly awkward for Seth and I before you left because he wasn't sure if I wanted to be around him or not."

"Makes sense."

"When are you going to go back to work?" I could hear the curiosity in her voice, and I imagined that she didn't want me to go back until absolutely necessary. Not that I had a problem with that, I didn't want to leave her anytime soon.

"I don't know. Maybe in a couple of weeks. If I go back."

"What are you talking about, 'If I go back'?" She pulled herself up and looked at me, her brown eyes probing.

I didn't understand until that moment that I didn't want to spend all my time at the hospital like I did before. I didn't want to be on call practically every holiday, never knowing if I would have to interrupt my time with my family to go run to the hospital for an emergency. I wanted to be able to have normal work hours, normal work days--not working twelve hours at a time and pulling double shifts, being gone for days at a time while I slept in the on call room. I wanted to be here for Bella, for our daughter.

"I can't go back to the way it was before. Not now. I don't want to be gone all the time. Working odd hours, pulling double shifts. I love what I do. But I love you two more. I want to be able to see our daughter grow up. My priorities have changed slightly." I grinned crookedly at her.

"Edward Cullen, you will not give up what you love for me." So she was going to argue with me.

I chuckled. "I'm not giving it up. I just need to find balance. I'll have to talk to the hospital, see if I can cut back my hours, work only during the day." I looked at her seriously. "I will not miss anything else."

She knew me well enough to know there was no changing my mind. She sighed and laid back down. We stayed like that for a few minutes before she broke the silence.

"Edward?" I could hear her voice tremble.

"What is it, love?"

"Are you really okay with this?" She seemed afraid.

My forehead creased. "With having a baby?"

"Yeah."

I pulled her up so that she was facing me and looked directly into her eyes so that I could convey my sincerity. "Bella, I have never felt more joy in my life than I do right now. I'm with you, holding you in my arms, wondering how I could ever be so lucky. Having a baby with you just makes it even more impossibly perfect. I love her. With everything I have, everything I am, Just as I love you. I cannot wait to meet her and see her beautiful face. You've made me happier than I ever thought possible. Thank you."

Her eyes filled with tears as I leaned down to kiss her, feeling more love in my heart than I'd ever known possible. I shifted our bodies so that I was hovering over her, fully prepared to show her how much I loved and needed her--I could never get enough of the feel of her body wrapping itself around me. I heard her stomach growl and abruptly pulled away.

"You need to eat." I got out of the bed and threw on a pair of sweatpants before she could protest. "What do you want?"

She pursed her lips, clearly not happy with the situation. "I can get it."

"I don't think so," I said laughing. "I'm here now, you're just going to have to get used to being waited on."

"I've managed for almost four months just fine without you." She was clearly annoyed. Too bad.

"And that's four months too long." I pointed to her stomach. "You're carrying my child, Bella. You're doing all the work. Making you something to eat is the least I can do."

"Edward, you don't have to wait on me." She sighed in exasperation. "You're here. That's more than enough."

No it's not. I walked back over to her and cupped her face with my hand. "Bella, you are going to be so sick of me by the time this baby gets here. I am going to make sure you have everything you need at all times. And there's nothing you can do about it." I smiled brightly at her. "So get over it."

I quickly kissed the tip of her nose and turned away. "You should probably get dressed and meet me in the kitchen if there's something specific you want. Otherwise, I'm going to make you whatever I feel like eating," I called back to her as I walked out of the bedroom.

I heard the covers rustle behind me and had to smother a laugh. She was pregnant, of course she wanted to choose what we were eating.

I went into the kitchen and opened up the fridge, grabbing a bottle of water while I waited on Bella to come in. I turned around and saw her walking through the doorway in nothing but one of my t-shirts.

"God, you look fantastic," I said, grinning at her. It had to be one of the sexiest things I'd ever seen her wear. "You should wear my clothes more often."

She blushed and grabbed the bottle out of my hand, taking a drink before answering. "I just might. I'm running out of things to wear."

I bent down and kissed her softly. "Just be careful. Otherwise you may wind up stuck in bed with me all day, every day." I leaned into her and ran my nose across her neck. "I love you."

"Mmm, I love you."

I pulled away from her and took her hands in mine. "Now, what do the two of you want to eat."

She bit her lip and looked as if she didn't want to tell me. "I... I don't know..."

"Yes you do. Tell me," I demanded.

"You'll think I'm crazy." Her face flushed.

"Try me."

"Well, I was kind of hoping for a peanut butter and banana sandwich," she said shyly.

I grinned. "That's not crazy."

"With pepperoni on it. And some pickles--I have to eat pickles with everything. And a glass of chocolate milk." She stopped and thought for a moment. "And maybe some crackers with mayonnaise on them." She shook her head. "No, I want some regular chips dipped in ketchup. No, hot sauce."

I stared at her in disbelief. There was no way in hell I was eating all that together. "Do we have all that?"

"We should. Alice and I just went to the store the other day."

"All right. A peanut butter, pepperoni, and banana sandwich with pickles and chips dipped in hot sauce downed with a glass of chocolate milk coming up. Sit down." I was going to have to make myself something else because that was possibly the most disgusting meal I'd ever heard of. "Is there anything else?" I smirked.

"No, I think that's all."

I ran my hand through my hair and got to work. This little girl was going to have me running all over town soon. I looked back at Bella and smiled. It wasn't like it mattered. She already had me wrapped so tightly around her finger, there was nothing I wouldn't do for her.