Guilty
Tammy was in her room, her early morning cup of tea rested on the bedside table with Kuger looking up at her wagging her tail and panting happily.
"Okay – are you ready?" Tammy asked the dog, holding up a blue slightly chewed ball. Kuger's eyes held the ball and she barked twice to let Tammy know that yes she was.
"Go!" Tammy tossed the ball a few feet away from her, over Kuger's head – but still she managed to turn and catch the ball expertly before it hit the ground. "Aww…Kuger, you're too good at this game aren't you?" She patted her roughly – but in a way she knew the dog liked. "Yes you are…"
Tammy continued to talk to and play with the dog, suddenly very aware of the bond they had. Kuger was the only one who truly understood her; every look, word and smile…since her mother's death that was…
Kuger sat at the girl's feet as she reached into the top drawer and pulled out a very scratched, very old, black and white photo of her mother. It had been taken with a special camera that only used black and white films and in it her mother looked very young and pretty but the main reason Tammy loved this picture was because her mother looked so happy.
It was a few years after Tammy had been born her mother was about twenty-five, and it was a few years before her father had started…
Tammy's mother had the same long, shiny, dark red hair and sharp features as her daughter…Tammy smiled, her father always commented on their alikeness, he always used to tell her mother how beautiful she was, and Tammy too. But that was a long time ago, before he was sacked from his job and started drinking. Before the strong liquor became a vicious poison in his system, fuelling anger and hatred and rage…
Tammy closed her eyes to stop the images appearing before her – but it was no use, bad memories, just like good, didn't die easily…
"…guilty or not guilty?" The voiced boomed in the still court room, as Tammy stood there with her eyes closed tight, uttering a silent prayer a prayer for her mothers memory…
After a pause that seemed to last forever, another voice spoke:
"Guilty."
The word rang through her mind, shaking her frail body, still hiding scars from that fateful day…Guilty…Guilty…
Nothing else reached her ears – not the sentence, not anything…all sounds vanished as a flood of relief washed over her…a flood of relief, which turned into floods of tears as she whispered the verdict over and over… "Guilty…guilty…guilty…" Her dark eyes opened and met with those of her fathers across the room.
'Sorry' he mouthed his lips crumpling into a twisted smirk.
Tammy felt the rage boiling up inside her as he smirked unremorsefully. "Murderer!" She yelled so loud the whole room looked at her tear-streaked face. "You b*stard! I hope you rot in hell!" She fought against her brother as he tried to restrain her and calm her down. She had wished he'd rot in hell and now her wish had come true.
And she was glad.
Tammy's face was stony and emotionless as she placed the photo lovingly back in the drawer and closed it. She was always surprised how she managed to keep those awful weeks from hurting her over and over again, but the memories of a mother who she loved more than anything, a mother who always forgave pulled her out of any depression she may have had.
Social care hadn't been so bad – not as bad as everyone make's it out to be, at least it was a safe and warm place to sleep – and it taught her a few things that she found useful these days, especially in self defence.
It was actually quite a good life, a good life that was, until her brother got messed up in drink and drugs…too much, too young and it was the end of him too…
So Tammy took herself and Kuger (the hostel's dog, who followed her around from her first moment in the place) she walked calmly away without so much as a goodbye…
It had been nice to be on her own, a little lonely, but still refreshing as she found this pretty cottage, uninhabited and began to live by her own rules and her own time-scale, but all that changed when Louisa had turned up on her doorstep, Ally in her arms.
Ally had been in a terrible state, half dead – crying, bruised and bleeding – and Tammy had no choice but let them in…Ally had reminded her how she'd found her mother that fateful day and just couldn't sit back and not help. So they'd nursed Ally back to a normal state, and Tammy had never asked about her past or why she'd had nightmares for a few weeks after they moved in – she thought it better that Ally forgot about it and made her feel as safe and as comfortable as possible.
Tammy sighed, she'd gotten caught up in her memories for a while there, when there was more important things to think about – like the fact that food was already running out and they'd have to make another trip to the city soon to stock up. Picking herself up off the bed she went to talk to Louisa about the possibility of getting some of the newcomers to start pulling their weight and take the trip…
It was a warm and quiet afternoon so Scott had made his way to the back of the cottage, to a quiet spot on the grass, with his guitar. He sat casually, strumming gently to himself and committing the notes he hit to memory.
Louisa watched him from a little way back pushing her light hair from her face, he looked so thoughtful it made her smile as she approached him and dropped at his side. "Writing me a love song?"
Scott looked at her in a way that told her he wasn't in one of those moods and she held up her hands in mock-defence. "I was joking!" She laughed. "Chill will ya'?"
He turned his attention away from Louisa in her soft pink skirt and tiny top and back to his song, humming softly to himself as she watched, intrigued. After a while he spoke again. "Can I do something for you?" He wasn't trying to be horrible to the girl, he just…couldn't go there again, not after thinking about it, but he was a guy – and sometimes it was pretty hard to resist temptation…
"Tammy sent me to find you…well Jay…but he's disappeared…"
"He's probably with Grace and Sara." Scott commented lightly to which Louisa frowned.
"Anyway…" She decided to ignore the fact that Scott was probably right and continued. "We're running low on food and supplies, and she wonders if maybe a trip to the city could be organised?"
Scott shrugged. "Yeah, I can't see why not…I sort it." His eyes were soft on her bare neck and shoulders.
"So…" Louisa traced slow and delicate circles on his arm, looking up through light eyelashes. "…have you missed me?"
Scott looked into her eyes thoughtfully, Had he? Had he thought about her since…he'd thought about how he shouldn't have taken advantage of a young girl…
"It's okay Scott…" She almost purred his name. "I'm not back for more…being clingy and all that, but I wouldn't say no if you're offering." She grinned cheekily at him, which broke his own soft lips into a huge grin.
"You're terrible…" He told her, gently scolding. "You're only a girl."
Louisa grinned wickedly. "Are you sure that's not one of the things that turned you on the most…knowing you were being bad…I didn't hear you complaining last time." She'd slowly moved so their faces were almost touching.
"Maybe I've had time to think about how wrong it was…" Their lips gently brushed as he spoke.
"Mmmm…" She murmured teasing him with her lips. "Maybe you should be wrong more often…"
They kissed more gently than last time, and Scott wanted to push her away but it felt so good to just close his eyes and forget everything but her eager tongue gently touching his…
The clattering of firewood being dropped behind them caused both to jump up guiltily.
Silver's pale blue eyes were wide with surprise as she cursed herself for walking in on this again. "We seem to be doing this a lot lately." She commented turning to leave.
"Silver! Hey!" She turned to look at Scott as he lowered his voice. "It isn't what it looks like…"
Silver shrugged. "Why should I care? It's nothing to do with me Scott – why are you so worried about what I think?" She turned on her heel and left leaving Scott to turn back to Louisa.
She was examining her fingernails as her deep red lips curved into a smile. "Some people are too touchy!" She laughed walking past Scott and back towards the house.