R.L: Hello, my name is R.L BlackRose, visiting Konoha a few years after the battle with the lord of destruction! I have interviewed many characters from here, focusing especially on Deidara and Sakura. Hope you enjoy these small interviews! Heaven knows I didn't enjoy doing them...

You'll see what I mean.

R.L: Hello, Deidara and Sakura! How are you doing today?

Deidara: Hello! Nice to meet you!

Sakura: I can already feel that I'm going to punch you some time during this.

R.L: Er... ehehe... let's go onto our first question for you guys!

Deidara: Sure!

Sakura: I don't like you.

R.L: First question! Don't you feel that your love is sort of fake, because you're "destined to love each other" and whatnot? Like, it's not real because it's meant to be... you know what I'm saying?

Sakura: Well, not really. Destiny doesn't really control what happens with us.

Deidara: Yeah, we could have met each other and not liked each other and life would still go on, and the whole Bird and Spider thing would go on unfulfilled!

R.L: Mmm, good point. Now, for our next question. Deidara, when did you get that extra regulator thing that you used on your dad? You know the thing that kept you sane? We didn't see you get that.

Deidara: I really don't know... maybe the glowy thing slipped it into my pocket or something?

R.L: Do you know where the glowy person went?

Deidara: Not a clue. He just... left. I never even got his name!

R.L: Huh. Mysterious. Anyway... this is a question from someone. I'll read it. "Dear Sakura, why did you dye your hair that ridiculous color?"

Deidara: You just HAD to read that question out loud, didn't you.

Sakura: …

R.L: Is she oka-

xxxxxxxxx We are experiencing technical difficulties. Stay tuned, we'll be back shortly! xxxxxxxxx

R.L: Hello everyone, and welcome back!

Sakura: Oh, yes. WELCOME everyone. Yes, of course, our WONDERFUL nosy idiot audience.

Deidara: Okay, so not everyone knows that it's your natural hair color! So what?

Sakura: OF COURSE they all know! They just love bugging me, because- ugh. Can you untie me?

R.L: I'm very sorry, Sakura, but I can't do that.

Sakura: And may I know WHY?

R.L: Because MY FACE HURTS WHERE YOU PUNCHED IT! Ahem... okay, back to more questions. Let's see here... ah, here's one! Dear Deidara and Sakura, are you going to get married?

Deidara: …

Sakura: C'mon, Deidara. It's your turn to punch the wonderful idiot lady.

Deidara: Idunno... it's a reasonable question for them to ask I guess...

R.L: You're turning red! I'll take that as a yes... am I right?

Deidara: Uh... er, well...

Sakura: Um...

R.L: What? But... you're old enough now! Like... twenty, right? You're past the marrying age.

Sakura: Well, if we will or will not marry is our private personal-

Deidara: Yes.

Sakura: ...?

Deidara: Well... they would've found out anyway! I mean, it's only like two months away.

Sakura: You're FEEDING them, Deidara. Just BEGGING them to ask more personal questions.

Deidara: Ehehe... sorry!

Sakura: When I get out of this chair, you just wait... yes, yes...

R.L: Okay, thank you, Deidara! Oooh, here's one that just came in. "Dear Deidara and Sakura, do you still sleep in separate rooms?"

Sakura: Get a life. All of you. NOW.

Deidara: Well, what happened was-

Sakura: Don't you even DARE answer that one, Deidara. I'M WARNING YOU.

Deidara: Okay, okay... sheesh!

R.L: I'll just leave that one blank, I guess... ah, an interesting one for the pair of you. Did you ever finish training your new powers? What are you doing with them now?

Deidara: Well... There's always new things to learn, y'know. But we can use them better now.

Sakura: We're using them to help Konoha!

R.L: Well, that's wonderful! We're all so happy for you. Now, for one last question, and we'll come back to you later.

Sakura: Good riddance, I say.

R.L: Deidara, this one's for you. What color are...

Deidara: Your face is turning white.

Sakura: Yeahh, why'd you stop, huh?

R.L: Wait, do I have to read this one?

(Backround Voice): Yes!

R.L: Ahem. Uh... Deidara, what color are Sakura's... panties...?

Deidara: Oh, that's an easy one! They're-

Sakura: You IDIOT! HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?

Deidara: Because I do the laundry and, I...!

Sakura (turning quite a lovely shade of crimson): Do you have ANY sense of what you're supposed to say and what you AREN'T?

Deidara: Yes!

Sakura: It sure doesn't seem like it.

Deidara: Ehehe... oh, s-sorry...!

Sakura: It's okay. We all know who's fault this REALLY is.

R.L: Uh-oh. She's out of the chair. Someone, please-!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

R.L: Hello, there,-

Rock Lee: What happened to your face?

Tenten: No, shush! He didn't mean that, what he meant was-

R.L: Oh, that's okay.

Your little pink haired friend was what happened to my face.

Tenten: What?

R.L: Never mind. So, how's it going with Deidara here?

Tenten: It was a little strange at first, but we all got used to-

Neji: He tends to avoid Rock Lee.

R.L: Is that so? Why?

Tenten: (sigh) I think he scares Deidara.

R.L: What?

Neji: Do you know Rock Lee?

R.L: Not really, no-

Neji: Then you won't understand.

Rock Lee: Well, I don't get it! I'm just trying to be friendly!

Tenten: Trying. He was... trying.

R.L: Do... do I want to know?

Neji: No. Believe me.

R.L: um... Ooo- kaaay. Now, onto our next guest!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

R.L: Hello, Naruto!

Naruto: Hey.

R.L: How did it feel at first, with a former missing-nin moving into Konoha?

Naruto: It was WEIRD! He'd never actually had ramen!

R.L: Really? What else was weird?

Naruto: He'd never been to a ramen shop! Not instant ramen, either, no nothing!

R.L: That's wonderful. Anything else strange?

Naruto: He kept accidentally eating the ramen with his hands.

R.L: I meant anything else that DOESN'T have to do with Ramen, Naruto.

Naruto: Uh... hm, let's see... oh yeah! Wait, no...

R.L: This is hopeless.

Naruto: What?

R.L: Nothing, oh yes, nothing! Well... it's been... nice talking to you.

Naruto: Do you have any ramen?

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

R.L: Hello, you two!

Sasuke: Hi.

Itachi: Hi.

R.L: How are you doing?

Sasuke: ...

Itachi: …

R.L: Okay.

Sasuke: …

Itachi: …

R.L: Are you ready to start the interview?

Sasuke: Hi.

Itachi: It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance.

R.L: First question?

Sasuke: It's nice outside.

Itachi: Hello.

R.L: This is so awkward. ANYWAY, how has it been, being real brothers again?

Sasuke: Fine.

Itachi: Yeah.

R.L: And... what have you been doing around here, Itachi?
Itachi: I've been being a ninja.

Sasuke: I have as well.

R.L: Itachi, is it true that you like dango-?

Itachi: DANGO? WHERE?

Sasuke: You had to say the d-word, didn't you.

R.L: Huh?

Itachi: I must now acquire dango.

R.L: No, don't leave-! He left.

Sasuke: Now I want some dango. I'm leaving.

R.L: WAIT!

(Background voice): Just forget it.

R.L: Fine. Let's go on to the next person.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

R.L: So, Gaara! Hi!

Gaara: Hello, It's a pleasure to-

Kankuro: Don't give her any information, she just wants to attack out village!

R.L: Hey, how did YOU get in?

Kankuro: Well-

(Background Voice): The door was open.

Gaara: Um, Kankuro, why don't you go get some food... or something...?

Kankuro: DON'T WORRY, GAARA, I'M HERE FOR YOU!

R.L: Anyway. First question: Gaara, Deidara actually killed you. But first, he almost destroyed your village. And after, he SAT ON YOUR DEAD BODY! And now, he lives here. How does that make you feel?

Gaara: Well, I have an open mind. You've got to accept these things as they come, and I know that this Deidara is not the same one that did all those horrible things. Furthermore-

Kankuro: IT'S HORRIBLE! I have to constantly protect Gaara, or that (BLEEEEEEEEEEP) idiot will kill him again!

Gaara: Kankuro, please...

R.L: Who asked YOU, POTTY MOUTH? This is GAARA'S interview.

Kankuro: Hah, not anymore it isn't! Come with me, Gaara!

Gaara: Wait... but we're not finished.

R.L: What do I do?

(Background Voice): Block the exits!

(Shouting in background)

(Exploding sound)

(Background Voice): He's gone.

R.L: (PULLING AT HAIR) UUUUUUUUUUUUUGH! WHY? WHYYYY? WH-

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

R.L: Tsunade! What do you think about the incident a few years ago.

Tsunade: Well, I'm still mad at them for leaving me tied to the chair.

R.L: Anything... else?

Tsunade: I'm still mad.

R.L: Hey... do you know Sakura?

Tsunade: I taught her for a while.

R.L: WHY IZ SHE EVIL?

Tsunade: … I'm leaving now.

R.L: Okay then!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

R.L: Now back with you guys.

Sakura: You tied me to the chair again.

Deidara: Duh.

Sakura: YOU BE QUIET!

R.L: Just a few more questions. Sakura, do you still want Sasuke?

Sakura: No. I'm so over him. That was a tiny meaningless crush.

R.L: What happened with Kisame?

Deidara: He was sighted again! It's not fair.

Sakura: Yeah.

R.L: What's going on with the Akatsuki?

Sakura: They're still going strong, like nothing ever happened! Hrmph.

Deidara: Yeeeah. It's not good.

R.L: One more question for the two of you!

Deidara: …

Sakura: …

R.L: Deidara, have you ever used your other mouths... to KISS SAKURA?

Deidara: You HAD to ask that, didn't you?

Sakura: …

Deidara: She's turning purple.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

R.L: (Running) And so, that completes these interviews! Not very successful, but I WAS BORED. Now, if you'll excuse me... I've got some... ahem... escaping to do.

(Sakura in the background): I'LL KEEEEEL YOOOOU