Chapter 21- Quitting
I was finally going to ask Jake for my out. This is such the wrong time for some mysterious vampire to show up. "What's up Seth, my sis isn't pregnant is she?" Jake said wiggling his eyebrows. I could almost hear Ali's laugh, like she was with us. "Nope not yet, soon though." I said mimicking him. "Then what's up Seth, cause we need to run the outside perimeter." Jake said after my little joke. I took a deep breath. " I refuse to bring Ali into this world, the more she knows the more she'll be in danger, and I'm not going to tell her anything about us being shape shifters / werewolves, or about how I imprinted on her because then she'll think I was forced to love her, and look, I guess what I'm trying to say is that when you imprinted on Nessie, it was easy she was half vampire she was already a part of the supernatural world, Ali's not and I'm not going to tell her. Once this situation in resolved I'm going to stop phasing, and sadly I'm going to leave your pack bro. I love you but I love her more. I hope you get it. " I said in a big breath and it felt good to let it out.
Then I bent over on the floor crying, my heart felt like it was being pulled out of my chest with razor sharp nails. Then my favorite scent in the world filled my nose, the smell of vanilla with a hint of daisies. Dang, Ali was here. "Why Seth?" Ali whispered. "Every time I try to tell myself, he loves you, he wouldn't do anything to risk that, you just keep disappointing me. Seth, I knew you were a wolf, you didn't do a good job at hiding that after all I did see you when you phased on the beach. I was at there when you and Jake were talking and heard all about wolves and imprinting, I heard you talk to my aunt, and I had a hunch going when Jake and Leah said you imprinted on me. I'm a very reasonable person Seth, You should have talked to me about something this big instead of trying to hide it. Why didn't you let me have a say, you could have explained, tell me that you're a wolf, I wouldn't have freaked, I believe in this stuff remember. You asking me not to know about this is like shutting me out of your life, and it hurts a lot. I'm sorry Seth, and I really hope it isn't hurting you as much as it's hurting me but, you weren't trustworthy, and I won't put myself at risk again."
She walked up to me and kissed my lips softly and I tasted the salt from the tears on her face. " I can't be with you until you make it clear that you don't mind having me in your other life, the life you wanted to keep from me. I love you Seth I always will, but you made this a lot more complicated then it needed to be, now be a good wolf and listen to your alpha." It pained me so much to know I was the cause of her pain, and even more to see her hunched over trying to be strong, for me, for us. "Ali please-" I tried, I wasn't willing to lose her again.
She turned to me anger evident on her face. "Save it Seth." Then she turned to Jake, " I'm going home, I'll be fine, plus I doubt any vampires will want me tonight." She tried to laugh but it came out more like a cough. I wasn't going to give up on us. "At least let me walk you home Ali, love?" I pleaded. I had to have her close to me, to know she was safe. " Please Seth, give it a break, I'm begging you, you practically tore my heart out, and you keep talking just shut up!" Just like that, I couldn't say a word, it was worse than the alpha command, it wasn't that she forced me to like Sam used to, but I forced myself to shut up when another part wants nothing but to talk her into giving me another chance.
"Bye guys." She said, then walked out of my life for more than enough times for me to handle. I was shacking, terrified for her, and angry with myself. It was almost mid night, anything or anybody could be there ready to get her. I phased without even talking off my clothes, and slowly followed her home in my wolf form.