The Wolf At The Door

by tracyh

Five years on from the end of Six Weeks To Midnight, Arthur and Guinevere have a beautiful home and two wonderful children. Arthur's plans for the business he took on when his father retired are going from strength to strength. Life should be perfect, but as the Pendragon's know all too well, life is never quite that simple.

21. Chapter 21

Well now, the last chapter turned out to be very emotional. It was strangely difficult to write at first. Arthur was riding roughshod over the plans I had for the chapter, which was something rather more fiery and less weepy than it turned out. Originally I planned a lot of exclamation marks and a lot of capital letters to indicate shouting, but Arthur wouldn't comply. Then it occurred to me that what Uther has done over the years is cause Arthur pain. Yes, he's made him angry, but the bigger point, at least in the way I write Arthur and I think to a great degree in the series, has been that constant drip feed of negativity Uther provided, undermining Arthur in a lot of ways, chipping at his self-worth, but also in this, the way Uther put the business in front of everything else, including his son, which has hurt Arthur every bit as much as it has made him angry, maybe even more so. The mirror in the series of course is the way Uther put Camelot in front of everything else. It occurred to me some time ago that though Uther made peace with Arthur to a great degree in Six Weeks To Midnight and gave Arthur a lot of insight into his character, he'd never really apologised for his past behaviour and he'd never told his son he loved him, not explicitly, so I felt that was important. What I hope I have shown is that the wolf at the door in the story title was not just Arthur's self-doubt and the way that has impacted on him and Guinevere. It is also the fact that though Uther and Arthur had moved on from the past and they both understood it better, they had never really confronted it fully, but now they have.

Arthur and Guinevere stayed with Uther for some time that day. Guinevere watched Arthur and his father talk about what would happen next and felt like something tangible had changed between them. Uther was a lot more open and less inclined to tip-toe around Arthur for fear of saying the wrong thing, while Arthur was less inclined to be defensive and a lot less inclined to take anything his father said personally.

Uther had made some tea eventually and they all sat in the living room to talk over how Arthur planned on getting out of the mess he was in.

"If you continue to have trouble with the local authorities," Uther said, sipping on his tea and lowering himself back down into the armchair he'd vacated earlier. "I might be able to help, if you like?"

"How?" Arthur said quizzically. "I can hardly turn around and say 'pay up or I'll send my father around,' can I?" Arthur took any potential heat out of what he said by cracking into a smile. "I'm not twelve any more, father."

Uther smiled and shook his head. Guinevere thought he looked like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. She sensed that though Arthur hadn't offered his father absolution from the past, Uther's genuine remorse and the way he'd revealed his feelings for Arthur had finally given them both permission to let it go. She thought of her own childhood, how her Dad had never ended a day without telling her and Elyan he loved them, even during the times when Elyan was at his most unruly. Guinevere knew Tom always believed that if you felt love, you should say it, so she couldn't imagine how she would feel if he'd never put his feelings for her into words. What she had seen with her own eyes was what it meant to Arthur to hear it now. She knew the way he'd sobbed when his father said the words would live with her for a long time, along with the way he looked now in his father's company. He seemed at ease, comfortable, sure of himself. It suited him, she thought, edging slightly closer to him on the sofa and taking the hand that wasn't holding his cup of tea. Still talking to his father, he squeezed her hand affectionately, telling her without words that he knew she was still there.

"No, I know you're not," Uther went on, his voice light. "But I had a lot of fingers in a lot of pies in the business world when I was working," he explained mysteriously. "I built up a few connections, made certain contacts and found out a few things that might be useful, that's all."

Arthur's brows rose. "Have you got some dirt on someone, because if you have…?" Guinevere sensed Arthur's reluctance to play games with people. She knew very well, he preferred to be honest with people and deal with them in the way he expected them to deal with him. She admired him for it.

Uther grinned at his son, a sight that made Guinevere smile in spite of herself. "Well, not dirt exactly. I'm not privy to people's extra-marital going's-on, that sort of thing, though I don't doubt that sort of thing goes on, but let's just say I know a few people whose expenses claims are questionable, people who have a flexible relationship with the truth on their tax returns, that sort of thing. I could give you some names of people who could cut through the red tape very quickly if they have enough motivation."

Arthur pursed his lips, clearly considering what to say. "I won't resort to blackmail, father. That isn't me." His voice was serious, though it held no anger.

Uther nodded thoughtfully. "You wouldn't have to. All you'd have to do is make conversation with people, ask after them and their families and then send them my regards, which I would mean very sincerely of course," his eyes lit up and a hint of a smile teased the corners of his mouth. "Then you'd just mention that you're my son and I've told you about the old times, the meetings I attended and so on. You wouldn't have to threaten, blackmail or bribe anyone, there would be nothing underhand. All you'd need to do is let slip that you are aware of certain things in a convincing way, give them the impression you know more than you do, that's all, and everything you are owed will appear, as if by magic."

"Mmmm," Arthur sighed. "I don't know, it just seems a bit..." He couldn't think of an appropriate word. What his father proposed wasn't blackmail exactly, he knew that, but was it really ethical?

"Look," Uther said, exhaling as he spoke. "They owe you money for work you did in good faith. All you would be doing is dropping a hint that you are related to me, that's all. You would have no control over how they interpret what you are saying, but you would be getting what is rightfully yours, because it is your money they are holding on to after all."

Arthur nodded non-committally. "I'll think about it," he said thoughtfully, turning over what his father had said in his mind. "But thanks for the advice."

Uther nodded and the corners of his mouth twitched upwards when Arthur thanked him, but Guinevere noticed the way his eyes shone more than anything. Somehow it showed the sudden shift in his relationship with Arthur better than anything else could.. "It might also be a good idea if I go with you to the bank, just to explain about our agreement," Uther went on. Guinevere sensed his reluctance to push Arthur too much too soon and her heart went out to him. He was still finding his way through the mire of what the boundaries might be between him and Arthur, she thought, the line where offering help became interference in Arthur's eyes, but she admired him for trying.

Guinevere was surprised by Arthur's response. "I'm tempted to say I can manage," he admitted awkwardly, "but I actually agree. In fact, I think we should put our agreement on some sort of formal footing anyway, just so we know where we are."

"I'm coming to the bank with you too," Guinevere jumped into the conversation.

"What about the children?" Arthur turned to Guinevere in surprise when she spoke. "They'll be finishing school for six weeks tomorrow and we probably won't get into see the bank manager until next week at the earliest."

"I don't care," Guinevere said decisively. "We'll have to sort something out, because your father and I need to be there." She softened when she looked into Arthur's eyes. "You've handled all our finances, the bills, the mortgage and so on, since we got married and I've let you do it without a thought, but it's time I involved myself a bit more. I need to know what's going on."

Uther's presence in the room was almost forgotten as Arthur turned in his seat to look at Guinevere closely. "You know I never meant to hide anything from you, don't you? I wanted to tell you, but it just got harder and harder to do it. I was ashamed of the mess I got us into, that's all. I was trying to protect you too, I didn't want you to have the worry that I had."

Guinevere sighed and squeezed Arthur's hand. "You don't need to be ashamed, not now, and you don't need to shield me from the realities of life, Arthur. I'm not one of the children and I'm not going to fall apart at the first sign of a problem. I'm your wife, I love you and we're supposed to be a partnership, so I need to know exactly what's going on with our finances. I'm coming with you to the bank and that's final."

Knowing Guinevere wouldn't give in, Arthur backed down. "We'll have to try to get a morning appointment with the bank then. If we can, maybe Leon or Gwaine would have the children for a while, before they open the Rising Sun."

Glad that Arthur had seen her point of view, Guinevere gifted him with a tender smile.

A while later, Arthur and Guinevere got up to go. Uther looked at the time as he got to his feet to see his son and daughter in law out. "Gosh, I'll be going out to pick up the children in an hour or so, where has the day gone?"

"Why don't we go and pick them up?" Guinevere turned to Arthur when they were halfway down the hallway. "We could go home now, maybe have something light to eat because it's getting late and then we could pick the children up. It would save your father going out, and it would save us having to come back out to pick the children up from here, not that I would mind," she added quickly, turning to Uther considerately.

"Are you sure you're up to it?" Arthur frowned with concern at Guinevere. "This the first day you've really been out since your surgery, you don't need to overdue it and if father doesn't mind..." He let the rest of his thought hang in the air.

"I really wouldn't mind, my dear," Uther said kindly. "It's no bother to pick up the children from my point of view, but it does seem silly for you two to come back out through the traffic to pick them up. I could drop them over to you, if it would help."

"No," Guinevere shook her head, her eyes taking in Uther and Arthur. They both still looked shattered from their emotional encounter. Uther looked fit for an afternoon nap, not looking after two children for at least an hour, she thought, but she didn't voice it. "I'm fine, really, we'll pick up the children today."

Uther kissed Guinevere goodbye and then he seemed to wonder what to do for a few seconds before he hugged Arthur quickly and patted him on the back. Both men laughed awkwardly as they let each other go, still finding the quick change in their relationship difficult to get used to.

Uther stood on the doorstep while Arthur and Guinevere got back into the car and then he watched them pull off the driveway, giving them a last wave before closing his front door.

"Well, that went better than I expected," Arthur sighed heavily when he pulled out of Uther's driveway and reached the main road. "I don't know about you, but I'm knackered."

Guinevere smiled gently. "I told you it would be all right, your father loves you."

"Yes, well, I know that now," Arthur nodded thoughtfully, realising it was true. He finally believed his father loved him. "I just never expected him to say it, that's all. He was always so cold and aloof when I was a child. He kept me firmly at arms length, but if I got too far out of his reach he'd control me enough to pull me back to him. It was confusing, I never knew where I stood with him."

"It's hard to imagine he never told you he loved you," Guinevere admitted, shaking her head. "When I look back, when I think about what my Dad was like, he never ended the day without saying it to me and Elyan, especially after Mum died. He really does think that if you feel love, you should express it, but I'm sure he was trying to love us even more to make up for Mum not being there too."

Keeping his eyes on the road, Arthur nodded. "I couldn't believe it when my father said it today. He never said it, not once, when I was a child. He was there so rarely too, unless there was the odd night when the nanny had the night off and he had to be around for me, so I grew up thinking he didn't love me and I was just in the way. Over the last few years, since he started to change, I'd started to think he loved me, but when he said it today, I..." Arthur stopped talking when he felt the rising burn of tears in the back of his throat. He blinked rapidly and swallowed hard to stay in control. He cleared his throat awkwardly and a blush crept over his cheeks. "I just didn't know how much I needed to hear him say it," he choked out, blinking rapidly to stem the tide of his emotions.

Guinevere reached over and stroked Arthur's cheek as he fought for control of his feelings. She saw the tears swimming in corner of his eye and ached for him. "It's all right," she soothed him tenderly. "You've had it out with your father now, you've cleared the air between you and you can start again properly."

"Thanks to you," Arthur said gratefully, heaving a shuddering sigh. "If you hadn't pushed me into seeing him today I don't know what would have happened, especially with how I've been lately. Somehow it's been like all the years of frustration with him have been building up lately, but I shouldn't have accused him of being responsible for my mother's death, should I? I was just so angry with him, Guinevere. In that moment I would have said anything to him. I know he probably should have driven her to my grandmother's house instead of her going alone, but in the end she had an accident, I know that, so I shouldn't have said that to him."

Guinevere shook her head thoughtfully. "Your father knows you didn't mean it. You were both on edge and we can all say things when we're angry, Arthur. An apology wouldn't hurt, but don't dwell on it too much. You've made your peace with your father, that's the important thing."

Arthur nodded. He knew Guinevere was right, what mattered now was the future, not the past, but as he nodded, he thought of someone else he needed to speak to. "On the subject of apologies, I need to speak to Percival and clear the air a bit. Would you be all right tomorrow if I went into work for a while, just to see Percival and see how things are going? I'll take the children to school first and then, if you'll be all right, I'll go into work for a while. I wouldn't be long, probably no more than an hour so, if you'd be all right until I'm back?"

"I'll be fine," Guinevere replied immediately. "You don't have to rush back, take your time."

Arthur noticed the enthusiasm in Guinevere's voice and turned his head to look at her for a second. Her eyes were bright and shining and a wide smile graced her lips. "You look very pleased about the idea of getting rid of me, Mrs Pendragon," he said dryly. "I better not come back and find you doing too much, you are still recovering from surgery, remember?"

"You fuss too much," Guinevere replied, but she gifted Arthur with a loving smile, until it slipped away and she was more serious when he turned his attention back to the road. "In any case, won't you have to start thinking about going back to work soon? I'm not trying to get rid of you, but..."

Guinevere didn't complete what she was saying. She didn't need to, Arthur thought. His mind turned to the cheque his father had given him before they left him for the day. It was now in Arthur's trouser pocket, waiting to be paid into the bank. It would pay off the debt he'd run up over the last year, he mused, but it wouldn't help with the mortgage payments in the months ahead. Only earning some decent money would help with that, he thought, especially if the bank decided to be difficult about renegotiating the terms of the mortgage, so Guinevere was right, he did need to start thinking about going back to work. "I will need to go back soon," Arthur conceded, knowing there was no point in denying it, "but the children are out of school for six weeks from tomorrow, so I won't go back full time yet, not if it means you being on your own with them too much and putting yourself at risk too soon."

"I am almost better," Guinevere said, knowing perfectly well Arthur would worry about how she would cope with the children on her own. "I know I can't drive yet and I wouldn't risk it, especially not with the children in the car, until I know I can safely do an emergency stop, but in every other respect I'm fine. Your father probably plans on having the children quite a bit anyway over the holidays, so I wouldn't be on my own with them all the time."

"All right," Arthur nodded, getting the idea that Guinevere had given some thought already to the time when he needed to go back to work, "I'll see Percival tomorrow and make my peace with him and then I'll speak to the bank and make an appointment to see the manager. We could speak to Gwaine today and ask if he'd mind looking after the children when we speak to the bank. We could go and see him and Leon before Llacheu comes out of school. I can't see it being a problem though," he grinned as a thought went through his mind. "Gwaine's a bigger child than either of our two when he's in the mood."

Some time later, after a quick late lunch, Arthur and Guinevere went out to pick up Amhar from school. When she spotted them in the school hall when the bell rang to signal the end of the day, she ran into her mother's arms and hugged her tightly, before turning to her father and doing the same. Arthur picked her up and hugged her against him, until she frowned, her features reminding him of his father. "Where's Ganpa?" Amhar interrupted Arthur's thought. "I thought Ganpa was coming to pick me up today?"

"Grandpa was coming to pick you up," Guinevere explained carefully, trying not to say too much for fear of worrying her daughter unnecessarily, "but Daddy and I had to go and see Grandpa about something earlier, so we decided we would come and pick you and your brother up instead."

Amhar turned inquisitive eyes on her father. "What did you have to see Ganpa about?"

Though Arthur was looking at his daughter as she spoke, he saw Guinevere shaking her head in his peripheral vision. He forced a smile to his lips, knowing Guinevere wouldn't want to worry the children unless they really needed to. "Nothing to concern you, young lady," he jiggled Amhar in his arms as he spoke, making her giggle.

"Right, come on you," Guinevere brightened her voice deliberately to distract Amhar from asking any more questions. "We've got time to go and see Uncle Gwaine before Llacheu finishes school. Maybe Uncle Leon will be around and we'll get a chance to ask him how Auntie Mithian is doing with her preparations for the new baby. It won't be long before the baby comes now."

"How long?" Amhar asked, her blue eyes shining with excitement.

"Probably a few weeks, darling," Guinevere said carefully. "It can sometimes be difficult to tell with babies, they come when they are ready a lot of the time, but it shouldn't be too long now."

Amhar considered this piece of information thoughtfully. She seemed to think about what to say for a moment before finding her voice again. "The baby will come out of Auntie Mithian's tummy, won't it?"

"That's right," Guinevere said, sensing what Amhar's next question would be. She glanced at Arthur and saw the way he looked like he wanted to disappear or fall through the floor, or anything to avoid what they both knew was coming. He was smiling too brightly, Guinevere thought, stifling an urge to laugh at the way his grin had become fixed, as if it had been painted on to his face. He was obviously trying to distract Amhar somehow, but she knew that wasn't going to happen. When Amhar had decided on something, that was it, she was exactly like her father in that respect. If she had a question, she would persist until she got an answer.

"But how did it get in there?" Amhar asked innocently, her eyes wide.

Arthur's smile vanished as a hint of panic appeared in his eyes. H turned his head to look at Guinevere so quickly, it was a wonder he didn't give himself whiplash, she thought, rolling her eyes at him before turning her attention back to Amhar. "Well," she began, thinking of what to say. Amhar was four, she reminded herself. She wasn't asking for details, she was just interested because Mithian was pregnant. "Well," she started again. "Mummy's and Daddy's have a special sort of cuddle and they make a baby."

Amhar nodded, a small frown of worry lining her brow. "So if I cuddle someone, I'll have a baby?" she suddenly eyed her father with horror.

Guinevere thought she heard Arthur stifle something that could have been a nervous laugh and mutter 'you'd better bloody not," under his breath. He quickly disguised what he said by breaking out into a cough, which only stopped when Guinevere fixed him with a glare. His eyes shone with suppressed amusement and he nodded encouragingly for her to go on. Rolling her eyes at him again, she turned back to Amhar. "No darling," she said gently, sensing Arthur's eyes on her. "A cuddle that makes a baby is a special one, just for grown ups. You might have it when you're older," she wilfully ignored Arthur's muttered 'over my dead body,' "but not yet, not for a long time."

Amhar's frown slipped away with this piece of information. She turned to her father, who appealed to Guinevere with his eyes for help, but she smiled innocently and resolutely ignored him. "Can I have a drink at the restaurant, I'm thirsty?" Arthur's relief at Amhar's sudden shift in the conversation was palpable. He beamed and nodded far too enthusiastically. "Of course you can have a drink, shall we get going then?" With that, Guinevere shook her head at Arthur and he winked at her before he followed her out to the car with Amhar holding him tightly again.

A while later, Arthur and Guinevere walked into the Rising Sun. Amhar held Guinevere's hand when they got out of the car outside the restaurant, but once she was inside she let go of her mother and went up to the bar confidently. "Hello Princess, what can I get you?" Gwaine greeted his God daughter, watching as she attempted to climb onto a bar stool until Arthur was close enough to pick her up and place her down on the stool, where she made herself comfortable.

"Can I have a glass of lemonade?" Amhar asked.

"What's the magic word?" Guinevere reminded her daughter gently.

Amhar thought for a second while Gwaine waited for her, his hand already poised on a bottle of lemonade behind the bar. Understanding dawned in Amhar's eyes and she inhaled sharply. "Can I have a glass of lemonade, please?" she asked politely.

"Your wish is my command, my lady," Gwaine grinned, finding a tall glass behind the bar and raising the bottle of lemonade with a flourish before pouring a glassful and decorating the glass with a cocktail umbrella and a straw. "What will you two have?" Gwaine spoke to Arthur and Guinevere when Amhar was settled, happily sucking her lemonade up through the straw.

Arthur turned to Guinevere and she shook her head. "We're fine thanks," Arthur said, "We've got to pick up Llacheu in a while, but I do need to ask a favour, if you don't mind?"

"We need need to ask," Guinevere cut in, taking a seat on a bar stool next to Amhar.

Gwaine frowned. "What is it, what's the matter?"

Arthur shook his head quickly, seeing the worry forming on Gwaine's face. "There's nothing to worry about, but would you or Leon be able to look after Amhar and Llacheu for an hour or two one day, probably next week? I can't be any more exact than that about when, but we need to have a word with the bank manager and we both have to be there," he eyed Guinevere as he spoke and she gifted him with a hint of a smile.

"Does this have anything to do with why you've been behaving like a bear with a sore ar...with a sore head lately?" Gwaine asked, changing what he asked abruptly when Guinevere shook her head at him and indicated towards Amhar with her eyes.

Arthur nodded, knowing there was no point in hiding anything from Gwaine. Besides, he told himself, if Gwaine was going to look after the children while they went to the bank, he had a right to know something. "I've been in a bit of a mess," he admitted honestly, trying not to say too much within Amhar's hearing. "I was trying to sort it out on my own, but it didn't work out too well for me."

Gwaine nodded, but he didn't ask any questions, for which Arthur was grateful. "So, you're sorted out now?" he asked. "Is everything all right?"

Arthur heaved a sigh and nodded. "Almost, I just need to see the bank. If that goes all right we'll be fine, so can you have the children for us? It should only be for a couple of hours one day. I'll try to get a morning appointment with the bank if I can. I'll let you know what day as soon as I know."

Gwaine nodded. "You know very well I'll look after the kids. Try to get an appointment for next Wednesday if you can and then Sefa and I will look after the kids at home. Sefa's off work all day, she'd enjoy seeing the kids, it'll be practice for us."

Guinevere's eyes widened. Gwaine saw the way they lit up and shook his head, a tiny hint of a sad smile on his lips. "We're not expecting, that would be too much to ask." A moment later, his face brightened. "We've decided we are going to look into adoption seriously. Ideally we'd want a baby, but we've found out that might not be possible, but there are lots of older kids waiting for a home, so…." he let the thought go and shrugged.

Guinevere nodded sympathetically, knowing how much Gwaine and Sefa longed for a baby of their own. "You'd be making a child happy Gwaine, that's the most important thing. I know people say blood is thicker than water, but it's not, not really. So, what happens now?"

Gwaine sighed. "It's a long process, they have to do all sorts of checks to make sure what sort of people we are. If we are accepted we'll have to make some changes. Sefa will want to go part time for the agency to fit in with a child and I'll need to cut back on my hours here, but we'll see if they accept us first."

"They'd be stupid not to," Arthur said seriously.

Gwaine shook his head doubtfully. "I don't know, you see things in the papers all the time about people not being able to adopt for really stupid reasons. They might take one look at me, knowing I run this place with Leon and they could refuse me and Sefa, so I won't count my chickens just yet. I won't build Sefa's hopes up just to disappoint her again."

Now look," Arthur spoke up, shocked by the defeat in Gwaine's usually confident voice. "You've worked hard to get this place going and you've made a success of it at a time when most businesses in the area have struggled. If they've got any sense," he continued, speaking as firmly as he could without raising his voice, "they'll see two hard working, decent people who have a lot to offer a child."

"Arthur's right, Gwaine," Guinevere nodded in approval of Arthur's attempt to lift his friend's mood. "You and Sefa are good people, you're hard working and committed, anyone can see that. You have so much to offer a child, but the most important thing you have to offer is love and you and Sefa have more than enough of that to share."

"Wow Princess, an admiration society," Gwaine grinned at Amhar, who was still sucking on the straw in her lemonade, but both Arthur and Guinevere could see he was touched by what they had to say. His grin slipped away slowly when he addressed them again. "If you two got to make the decision, we'd be home and dry, thanks."

Guinevere shook her head. "You'll be fine, Gwaine. They'll accept you, I know it."

Arthur nodded in agreement. "Like I said, they'd be stupid not to."

There was a moment of silence when they were all lost in their own thoughts. Both Guinevere and Arthur couldn't help thinking about their own children. They'd lost Gwydre and they'd suffered the ectopic pregnancy, but they'd never gone through any difficulties with conceiving. They hadn't even really been trying for Gwydre when Guinevere found out she was pregnant, though they hadn't really not been trying either. After losing him, Llacheu had been a terrifying prospect at first, but he'd made it and they'd survived the anxiety of his early months of life and gone on to have Amhar. They'd built a family and neither of them could imagine their lives without the children. The thought of the longing for a child Gwaine and Sefa were living with made Arthur and Guinevere realise how lucky they were.

After a moment, when the silence was broken by Amhar sucking particularly hard to draw up the last drops of her lemonade, Arthur found his voice again. "Is Leon out in the back, how's Mithian?"

Gwaine shook his head. "No, he's not here. Mithian phoned about an hour ago, saying she was feeling a bit uncomfortable. Leon dashed out of here like the Devil himself was after him. I tried to tell him it was probably Braxton Hicks, but..."

"Braxton who?" Arthur asked quizzically.

"Practice contractions," Guinevere supplied, looking at Arthur. "Don't you remember, I never felt them with Gwydre or Llacheu, but madam here," she smiled affectionately at Amhar, "made her presence felt in the last couple of months of the pregnancy, but how do you know about Braxton Hicks?" she turned her attention to Gwaine across the bar, who shrugged nonchalantly.

"I read about it in a book." He winked at Guinevere, his mood swiftly transforming back to his usual upbeat, confident manner.

"You can read?" Arthur quipped dryly.

"Piss off," Gwaine mouthed silently and Arthur grinned.

"Will you get Leon to let us know if everything is all right?" Guinevere asked thoughtfully. "I'm sure it'll be fine, Mithian is what, six weeks or so away now? Still, get him to let us know.

"I will, Princess," Gwaine nodded. "Or at least I will if Leon can tear himself away. Honestly, he's like a cat on hot bricks. He only has to hear the phone and he jumps out of his skin thinking something is wrong with Mithian." Gwaine's tone was light, but there was a hint of exasperation in his voice.

"He's just nervous," Guinevere smiled sympathetically. "He'll be fine when the baby comes."

"Hmmm," Gwaine grunted non-committally. "We'll see."

Eventually Arthur, Guinevere and Amhar said goodbye and left the restaurant to pick up Llacheu from school. "Don't forget," Guinevere reminded Gwaine when he came around from behind the bar to hug Amhar, "get Leon to let us know about Mithian as soon as he has time."

"I won't forget," Gwaine promised, pretending to look solemn, but a spark in his eyes gave him away. "I'll get Leon to phone you, or I'll call myself when I know more." He crossed his heart with a finger and nodded to underline the point.

Satisfied with Gwaine's promise, Guinevere took Amhar by the hand and guided her as they followed Arthur out of the restaurant and to the car. They climbed in and drove through the building traffic as the time approached one of the busiest times of the day on the roads.

"Do you really think Gwaine and Sefa will be accepted to adopt?" Guinevere asked, turning in her seat to look at Arthur while he kept his eyes on the traffic ahead.

Arthur sighed and shrugged. "I hope so, I really do. Gwaine wants a child so badly, not just for himself, for Sefa. He thinks it's his fault he can't give her that, so if they end up being rejected for adoption, I honestly don't know what he'll do."

Guinevere nodded and chewed her lip apprehensively. "Even if they are accepted, adopting an older child probably wouldn't be easy. Imagine it, a child who has been through goodness knows what, being put in a strange place with people they don't know. It's bound to be difficult."

"That's the thing that bothers me," Arthur admitted reluctantly, trying not to sound like he was insulting his friend or giving away his secrets. Then again, he thought, Gwaine knew Guinevere, he loved her, so he probably thought she knew certain things about him by now.

"How do you mean?" Guinevere asked, frowning in concern.

"Well," Arthur sighed heavily. "My childhood wasn't easy, but Gwaine's was worse, much worse. I don't know all of it, he'd already left home and started out on his own by the time I met him, but he always said his parents, especially his mother, hated him and preferred his sister. He spent his childhood being handed around various distant relatives, but he said none of them ever had much time for him, except for an old aunt. He told me years ago he thought she was probably a great aunt in reality because she seemed ancient when he was a child. She died when he was twelve, so he spent the rest of his childhood practically bringing himself up, for all the interest his parents had in him. He left home as soon as he was old enough and he never saw any of his family again."

Guinevere nodded sadly, her heart going out to Gwaine. She'd never asked him about his background in all the years she'd known him, she'd never felt the need. He was Arthur's friend, he was her friend, he loved their children like his own. Somehow, the things she knew about Gwaine, his sense of fun, his cheekiness, his loyalty, had been enough. Now she saw him in a new light. His longing for a child suddenly made perfect sense. "You wonder if his background might make it harder for him to cope with a child who has problems?" she asked thoughtfully.

Arthur shrugged. "Maybe, I don't know. Maybe I'm just worried that he won't be able to let go of the way he was treated for years. Kids who have gone through the care system will already have baggage, Guinevere. My father is prove of the way a bad start in life can stick with a child for years. If Gwaine got it wrong with a child who is already damaged…." He shook his head, unable to come up with the words to express what he meant.

Guinevere listened to what Arthur said and understood how he felt. She latched on to the way Arthur spoke about his father's childhood, thinking to herself that it was strange that he didn't use his own experiences to illustrate what he was trying to say. She didn't point his omission out to him, she didn't want to rake over the emotion of earlier in the day again. "I can see what you mean," she said softly, picking her words carefully, "but doesn't he deserve a chance to get it right, I mean, no one is perfect are they, no matter how good their intentions are, even if a child is their own?"

The truth of Guinevere's words struck Arthur acutely. He thought of his own children, the way he'd let them down again and again over the last year. "You're right, of course you are," he admitted painfully. "Let's face it, I've been nothing to write home about as a father with our two lately, have I?"

"I wasn't talking about you," Guinevere's face fell as she spoke, knowing Arthur still felt guilty for the way he'd behaved over the last year, especially about how insecure the children had become as a result. "I didn't mean to imply anything, I was talking about Gwaine. I just meant that having a child of your own, a child who has a good start in life and has possibilities open to them, doesn't automatically mean that a parent won't make mistakes, that's all. We're all human, after all, so doesn't Gwaine deserve a chance to prove himself?"

"I know what you meant," Arthur said sadly. "It doesn't stop me feeling badly about the way I treated you and the children for months. If I could go back and undo it I would, you know that, don't you?"

"Of course I do," Guinevere sighed, reaching over to caress Arthur's cheek tenderly with the back of her hand.

Arthur sighed again and turned his thoughts back to Gwaine, knowing how desperately he longed for a child and how much he blamed himself for his inability to give Sefa the child she wanted. "Of course he deserves a chance," he said simply, knowing Guinevere was right. Gwaine deserved the opportunity to be a father, to give a child a loving home with all the things that entailed. Whatever Arthur's misgivings were about Gwaine's ability to cope with a child who had already been let down, he knew his friend would do his best to show a child all the love they deserved. On that basis alone, if for no other reason, what Arthur had said to Gwaine at the restaurant still rang true, it would be mad if he was refused permission to adopt a child.

Arthur's mind went back a couple of weeks to when Gwaine admitted to him that he didn't know if he could love a child who wasn't his own. Arthur knew his friend well enough to know, that wouldn't be an issue. Thinking back to his own childhood, the years of believing his father didn't love him, Arthur knew Gwaine's love for any child he raised with Sefa would be enough, or at least it would be a good place to start. Taking comfort in the thought, he reached over, took Guinevere's hand and kissed her knuckles reverently, suddenly feeling overwhelmed for the part she had played in knocking down the walls that had stood between him and his father for so long. He saw her look at him in confusion through his peripheral vision, but she said nothing. When she turned to look out of the windscreen again he turned to look at her, taking in the way her eyes were shining and the tender smile on her lips. Turning back to focus on the busy traffic in front of him, Arthur silently thanked God for her and knew he was the luckiest man alive.

Hours later, Llachue and Amhar were both in bed, fast asleep. The last day of term was the next day and the children were both looking forward to their long school holidays. While Arthur and Guinevere helped them to get ready for bed, they'd both chatted excitedly about the things they wanted to do over the next six weeks. Another visit to the zoo seemed to be high on their agenda.

"We'll have to try to take them to places where we don't have to spend a lot of money," Guinevere said thoughtfully, thinking about the money they owed Uther and the mortgage payments they would still need to make in the months ahead.

"We can manage a trip to the zoo, Guinevere," Arthur said decisively. "Things are tight, but we're not destitute. If I can get back to work soon, even part-time, we'll be all right."

"I know," Guinevere spoke softly, not wanting to argue about the subject. "But we will have to be careful, Arthur. If we are going to pay your father back a decent amount and meet the mortgage repayments, we will have to tighten our belts a bit, you know that as well as I do."

Arthur had been sitting up in bed. He turned onto his side now and faced Guinevere as she lay down beside him. The lamps on their bedside tables illuminated the room in a soft glow. "You're determined to be sensible about this, aren't you?"

Guinevere nodded and her smile was warm with affection. "One of us has to be." Her face fell and she was suddenly more serious. "I just don't want you to get stressed like that again, Arthur. We need to tighten our belts, we need to be sensible, or we'll get into a mess we can't get out of. We need to face up to it together and we need to deal with it."

"We will, I promise," Arthur gently pulled Guinevere closer into his arms and kissed her softly.

A comfortable silence fell. Only the familiar sounds of the house at night broke the peace. The boiler as it heated their hot water, the distant hum of the freezer, a clock ticking somewhere in the house, a few other creaks Arthur had never quite got to the bottom of. All the sounds were part of their life, an easy, reliable presence that was strangely reassuring.

The quietness was broken when Guinevere chuckled sleepily

"What's so funny?" Arthur asked, his brows arched.

Guinevere giggled softly and her face cracked into a wide smile. "I was just thinking of you earlier, when Amhar asked how babies get into their mother's tummies."

"Yes, well," Arthur's smile at his wife's humour was lopsided. A flush crept across his skin. "She took me by surprise, that's all. You don't expect your four year old daughter to ask about things like that, do you?"

Guinevere's laugh was a little louder. "The look on your face when she looked at you because she thought people could have babies just from cuddling..." She laughed again, her eyes shining with mirth. "I was just thinking about what you'll be like when she brings boyfriends home. You'll be a nightmare, won't you?"

"I will not!" Arthur exclaimed in a pretence at horror, but by now he was sniggering too. "I'll be perfectly reasonable, you know me." He adopted a look of angelic innocence.

"You'll be reasonable until a boy so much as breathes on her in a way you don't approve of, you mean," Guinevere grinned. Then her face straightened thoughtfully. "Just imagine it, boyfriends turning up, wanting to take her out. It seems like it's years off, but the time will soon fly by."

A hint of a smile lingered in Arthur's eyes. "We could always lock her in her room for a while, just to keep her out of harm's way, until she's older."

"How old?" Guinevere smiled again and shook her head.

Arthur pretended to think it over for a moment. "Oh, nothing excessive, I was thinking until she's thirty five, that's all."He grinned broadly.

Their laughter mingled for a moment until Guinevere curled against Arthur's side and closed her eyes. Within moments the sound of her soft breathing told him she'd fallen asleep.