AUTHOR'S NOTE: JKR owns all Harry Potter stuff. I just like to mess with it.

*I've taken some liberties with D&D lore and stuff. Meh, it fits. :D*

21. Sectumsempra

There were 3,851 hideous flowers in total across the four walls of peeling white wallpaper; 1,211 fuchsia, 842 cornflower blue, 321 violet, and 1,477 an off-putting shade of egg yolk. Of the 3,851 atrocious flowers- 1,549 were connected with swirling juniper vines while the remainder stood alone.

Alone. Like him.

No. No.

There were 146 individual slats of hardwood interconnecting on the floor, 22 of which had various nicks and scratches. A shabby oriental rug covered approximately 2/5 of the hardwood and the two cream-colored sofas sat across from each other with only the rug and a small, rickety coffee table between them. Such a small distance between the sofas.

So close. Unlike them.

No.

"Should we stun him?"

Normally he would snort internally and his inner monologue would quip something along the lines of 'go ahead and try'.

He just went back to counting.

"No, no. Darling, why don't you go see if Pansy was able to get the other bedroom set up?"

"Mother, I really think—"

"Draco… please."

Bare feet took 25 steps to the left and then a door opened once- closed once.

One person breathing. Body heat. Someone was near.

"Severus? Severus, I know you're upset but I have some healing potions here that I really think would help. Would you please take them?"

Normally he would sneer and hiss that he was not a child, that he could care for himself and hated incessant mothering.

He just stared at the fraying edge of the rug.

The person moved closer. Expensive perfume and Dragon's Blood incense. Narcissa.

"Severus… she isn't alone. Lucius stayed behind to help her. He will keep her safe, you know he will."

His fists tightened and his concentration wavered. What was he counting again? Oh yes, the frayed edge strings of the rug. 200, 201, 202, 203…

"She sacrificed her own safety to send you here instead. Are you truly going to allow her sacrifice to have been for nothing?"

Fight it. Fight it. He had to. If he stopped counting, if he hesitated for even a moment, the reality of it all would come crashing down and then he would lose what little sanity he had left. No. Fight it. 211, 212, 213, 214…

"Severus, I will stupefy you and pour these healing potions down your throat while you're unconscious if I have to. Please don't make me do that. I really don't think Hermione would—"

His concentration shattered.

"Do not…" Severus hissed through gritted teeth, the muscle in his jaw ticking with the strain. "Do not ever… say her name to me again."

Narcissa came to kneel in front of him, her hands full of potion vials, "Be angry with her all you like, but that girl is the reason you're still alive. Appreciation would be a more appropriate emotion. Considering what she undoubtedly had to do to get you out of there, you should probably be mentally preparing a sonnet for her- perhaps even an entire book of poetry describing the profundity of your love. Shall I fetch you some parchment?"

His dark eyes flicked to the tiny ring of ash in the corner of the room where he had non-verbally incinerated the hair-band upon first arriving at the safe house, "That Portkey was for her. It was the only way I could ensure she would be safe and instead of…" Severus blinked rapidly to dispel the mist that was encroaching on his vision. "I trusted her. I trusted Lucius. I trusted them and look at where that has gotten me."

"That trust landed you in a safe house that is more secure than a fortress, alive and relatively well. That trust proved the sincerity of her feelings for you and the depth of Lucius's consideration of your friendship. I would have to say that it could have been worse."

"Worse?" He ran a shaking hand over his mouth, pain tearing through his heart like a jagged edge of broken glass. "The Dark Lord has lost over half of his followers in one night, knows that it was us who are responsible, and is undoubtedly now on a bloodthirsty rampage to find her and… and…"

"Oh, Severus…"

"He is going to find her," he choked, finally giving in to the terror that was rushing through his veins with every beat of his mangled heart. His hands trembled and his voice shook. "He is going to find her, and when he does- what he did to me will look tame in comparison. She will be tortured, raped, and shredded apart piece by agonizing piece until she's nothing but a conduit for the pain. He'll Crucio her, over and over, just to edge of madness before bringing her back to sanity- only to start over from the beginning. I have seen the things the Dark Lord does to those who betray him, Narcissa. Nothing will stop him until he feels that he's exacted the proper amount of revenge. Tell me, how can anything be worse than that?"

She laid a perfectly manicured hand on one bony, bouncing knee, "You had faith in my husband before, when approaching us with your plan for the Revel. He came through for you then and he will come through for you now. You are his closest friend, Severus, and it was Hermione's bravery in going against her own father, her absolute devotion to you, and her unwavering desire to do what she could to help that gave my son and his friends the push they needed to seek out the Order's protection. It was not us who asked Dumbledore for their refuge, Severus- it was them. Draco was the one who sent the patronus. Once he received approval from Dumbledore, Lucius and I simply spirited them away from the Revel."

Severus leaned forward, fingers sliding to knot in his hair.

"Hermione gave my son the courage to defy the Dark Lord, Severus. She is the reason he and his friends are still alive, the reason they are safe, here, with us. Lucius knows that, just as you know that Malfoy's always look out for their own. He will not let anything happen to her now, that I can promise you."

"I swore to protect her," he curled in further on himself. "I swore and I keep failing."

"I don't think you're failing at all," Narcissa nudged his knee a little. "She's taken to prioritizing your well-being over her own, even knowing that you'd be furious enough to strangle her for it. Seems to me like you are doing everything right. She is, after all, almost nauseatingly in love with you."

When he didn't say anything further and instead started rocking, slowly, back and forth on the sofa, Narcissa held out a potion to him.

"I know it's hard," she said softly, wiggling the vial in front of his lowered face, "and I am just as worried about Lucius as you are about Hermione, but if Lucius said that he knows how to help her and she trusted him enough to send you here- then all we can do is wait. They both took enormous risks with their lives to get you out of there, Severus. So, please: take the potions, eat something, and get some rest so that when she comes back, you'll be well enough to verbally eviscerate her for being as reckless as a Gryffindor."

It took a very long time, but eventually Severus removed his hands from his hair, lifted his head, and opened his hand for the potion vial. He still felt like his world was crumbling, that he couldn't breathe and that a round of rather unmanly hysterics were just below the surface, ready to pounce at any moment, but Narcissa had a point. There was not a soul in the world Severus trusted more than his closest friend and while it pained him to admit it, he often underestimated Hermione when she continually proved that he shouldn't. She was more intelligent and cunning than he gave her credit for, and if the last few hours were any indication- she loved him more than he ever actually realized.

He was ugly and surly, temperamental and jealous.

He was possessive and biting, self-deprecating and cynical.

He'd been hung up on Lily and dismissive of Hermione.

And through it all, she had been by his side- patiently waiting for the day when he would dislodge his head from his own arse and see what was right in front of him. She had created a revolutionary potion for him, simply because she felt that he deserved his freedom. She had faced an Ice Nymph with him- for him- simply because that was the kind of person she was. Hermione Granger continually moved mountains for him, when he often found it difficult to even lift a finger for anyone else.

The way she loved him was an anomaly, something completely foreign and new to him, which was why it was so hard for him to trust it. But she had given him her Portkey, the only Portkey to the safe house, without hesitation so he would be somewhere secure while she went off to save the world. Again.

Bloody brilliant, insufferable, annoying, beautiful, irritating, perfect, reckless witch.

Severus swallowed the first potion. Then the second. Then the third. And on, and on, and on, until Narcissa had none left to give him. She was right- he needed to be at full strength if he was going to have the energy to verbally rip her to shreds for her recklessness, which would then be followed by a strenuous night of thorough lovemaking.

As if she could read his thoughts, Narcissa smirked as she gathered up the empty vials, "Nice to have you back, Severus."

He simply nodded before straightening his ruined clothing and moving from the couch to see just what the bloody hell was taking so long to prepare a room for him.

x-x-x

Repulsion, nausea, fury, betrayal, and rage warred for the most prominent purchase in her mind as Hermione stared at the crumbling, terraced facade of Order Headquarters. She flexed her fingers, a whisper of raw magic tingling at the creases of her palms. Her voice was hoarse and raspy, "Why did you bring me here?"

Lucius was, of course, completely unperturbed and unrepentant. He sniffed a little and tossed his head slightly to move back a lock of his long hair, "Severus offered its location to me shortly before the Revel, as a means to find my wife and son in the likely event that the Order should be… unsuccessful."

Hermione's hands were clenched so tightly the tendons screamed in pain, almost as tightly as her teeth ground together, "Why did you bring me here?"

His icy gaze slid sideways to appraise her, "Because, while I find their complete lack of regard for you and Severus to be morally repugnant, we do- in fact- need their help."

Her mouth was already open in protest when he smoothly cut her off.

"I know what Dark magic your father used to strengthen himself," Lucius drawled, his eyes slipping back to the decrepit little house. "I do not know, however, where he has hidden the item I believe we seek. As someone who knew the Dark Lord very well in his youth, Albus Dumbledore very well might. That, Miss Granger, is why we are here."

"That bastard just let the Death Eaters take Severus…" Hermione hissed, conflicting emotions battering at her psyche in a chaotic maelstrom. "And she… she sent the letter. She sold us to my father for free, simply to make a point. How can you possibly expect me to just walk in there as if nothing has happened? As if they did not just get finished sending Severus and I to the gallows without a single shred of guilt or remorse?"

"Is that so? How interesting. I always thought Dumbledore to possess more honor than that," he stood, stoic and unmoving, for a moment. "And by 'she', I can assume that you are referring to the garish Gryffindor girl that Severus use to simper after in school? The one that would not give him the time of day, but conversely would not allow anyone else to either?"

A tiny blue spark sizzled around one of her curls, "Yes. She sent the letter and the pictures partly because I am friends with her son and partly because she was upset over losing Severus' attention."

"Why am I not surprised? Gryffindors always did lack the art of subtlety."

"If I go in there with you, I cannot promise not to kill them," Hermione warned, her warm cinnamon eyes narrowed on the front door- a thousand different revenge scenarios playing out in vivid technicolor in her mind at rapid speed. "Severus would understand. The other Order members would understand. I'd be willing to bet that, when all of this was over, even the fucking Ministry would understand!" She had to stop her rant and take a slow, if not shaky breath. The moldy bricks of Headquarters blurred and she wiped at her eyes with trembling fingers. "How could they do that to us? After everything we have done, everything we have risked to help them they just… they left us to die, sent us to die. Had you not been here, we probably would have."

For the first time, Lucius's perpetually emotionless mask slipped and there was genuine sympathy, anger, and disgust marring his unlined face, "I wish that I had an answer for you, Miss Granger. I do. But even I find it difficult, if not impossible, to reconcile the choices they made tonight. I may have been branded as a Death Eater, but that was something I did to protect my family when there appeared to be no better options. Everything I have ever done has been to that end. Dumbledore's betrayal of Severus' faith is disgusting, but I can understand it from a strategic perspective- even if it does seem a bit too clinical and cold. But the woman…" He shook his head. "Setting aside the obvious reasons that something like that is abhorrent, even if she thought you were a genuine threat to her son's well-being… purposefully exposing you and Severus could have cost the Order the war. It could have cost her and her son everything. I truly do not understand how the side of the Light can sometimes be more brutal than those of the Dark."

"After everything, I just…" Hermione swallowed back the bile that was rising in her throat. "Please, do not ask me to go in there."

His strong, regal voice was gentle, "What they did was wrong, Miss Granger. It was and they need to answer for it. But right now, we need to find out if Dumbledore knows the location of what we are looking for. And if he does, we will need the rest of the Order to be ready for a fight because the Dark Lord will be significantly weakened. I understand that this is difficult for you, but I would ask that you set those feelings aside for the moment so we can do this first. After all, we are only capable of fighting one battle at a time and this one is rather pressing."

She hated being wrong. If there was one thing in the world she couldn't stand, it was injustices being swept under the rug. The bitterest pill to swallow was when rule-breakers got off with a simple slap on the wrist.

Lucius was right, but it felt like a monumental, razor-sharp, acid-flavored unfairness- like a soft, almost imperceptible graze against their wrists rather than a slap- to just walk into the Order's Headquarters with a neutral expression as if Severus hadn't just been tortured into a bloody oblivion…as if Lily hadn't just set her up like a pig for fucking slaughter.

"You could kill them once we are inside, if that is what you truly want to do," Lucius added, his cool demeanor firmly back in place. "I would not stop you."

She sighed, "And yet I am sensing a 'but'…?"

"But then you and Severus would have to spend the rest of your lives on the run, hiding from your father and those who remain loyal to him. Because now that he knows what you two have done, what you two are together, he will never stop until he hunts you both down and exacts the revenge he believes he deserves."

There was a long stretch of silence between the two of them as they watched the nondescript little house.

"If I catch either of them alone, can I threaten them at least?"

Lucius smirked, removing his velvet Death Eater robes and stowing them in the pocket of his immaculately tailored gray trousers, "I would be disappointed if you did not. Well then, shall we?"

Hermione nodded and each took one, synchronized step closer to the wards that already pinged at their skin.

x-x-x

The Order wasn't happy about their sudden appearance, to put it mildly. Sirius refused to lower his wand from the moment they entered his house, Moody was steadily breathing down their necks, and everyone else simply watched them with undisguised suspicion and mistrust in their shifty, nervous eyes as they palmed their wands.

All, that is, except for Molly Weasley and Lily Potter- the former looking horrified at Hermione's bare wrist and the latter looking horrified at the fact that she was even alive at all. Dumbledore, on the other hand, didn't seem nearly as shocked to see them as the rest.

"When I had heard that you refused the protection offer, that Narcissa and Draco were taken the safe house without you, I figured it was only a matter of time before you came to tell me why. It would seem that I was correct in my assumption."

Lucius raised a single brow, ice blue eyes flickering between the multitude of armed witches and wizards that surrounded the Headmaster's place at the rickety kitchen table, "Indeed. Though, I must admit the Order has a rather… unorthodox way of greeting their guests."

Dumbledore smiled as if they were old friends, "A highly ranked Death Eater and the Dark Lord's only daughter appearing, unprompted and fully armed, warrants such precautions- wouldn't you say?"

"No, I would not. You have my wife and son sequestered somewhere I have no access to where I to harm any of you. And Miss Granger is an 18 year-old girl who has done nothing but help you since learning the truth of who she is. An 18 year-old girl who, I might add, has effectively reduced the Dark Lord's ranks by over half in one fell swoop. She has done more for this war in the past few months alone than the Order has in the last four years combined. Which part of that warrants such blatant hostility?"

He leaned back in the creaky wooden chair, still seemingly unfazed, "I ordered that there was to be no interference of any kind when the others came for Severus earlier tonight. Was I incorrect in assuming Miss Granger might take issue with that? If I was, please accept my apologies. I was under the impression that they were rather close."

Lily snorted softly and Hermione's fingers were squeezed in painfully tight fists at her sides- but she otherwise remained silent.

Lucius, who Hermione had quickly learned was easily a close second to Severus in deflection and deception, simply shrugged, "The nature of their relationship is of no consequence to me, nor should it be to you. We have bigger concerns at the moment."

"Oh?" Dumbledore questioned dismissively, already losing interest in the conversation. "Do tell."

"When was the last time any of you came in contact with the Dark Lord?"

They all shifted uncomfortably. It was Moody who answered gruffly from behind them, so close he was nearly perched on their backs, "I was the last one to have any significant contact with him. There was a raid, last year. What of it?"

Lucius tilted his head, "And when you were near, what did you feel? Anything unusual?"

The other wizard was silent for a moment, "He felt dark… more sinister than usual. I know what Dark Magic feels like and this was something else."

"Yes. What you felt is something those in his service have been feeling for quite some time now," he turned back to the Headmaster, who now was listening with rapt attention. "It has taken many years to put all of the pieces together, but I believe we finally have done so. I believe I finally know what he has done to strengthen himself."

Dumbledore stood so quickly, the chair toppled behind him. The others let their wands drop. Hermione watched her keeper's friend nervously.

Lucius remained perfectly still, "Severus has been the Dark Lord's right hand for a long time, with myself being a close second to him. We were the only two who knew from the very beginning that he had a child, long before the rumors were validated. The Dark Lord watched Miss Granger and her parents for years while trying to come up with the best way to gain access to her without interference. He was utterly obsessed with her, often to the point of near fanaticism. He spoke often to Severus and myself of the girl's importance, but refused to elaborate further. He just kept reiterating that she was the key to something. This went on for years until, one day, he just disappeared. No one saw or heard from him for months until he suddenly reappeared at the Manor one day, proclaiming the urgent need for a keeper to watch over Miss Granger. I subtly suggested Severus on more than one occasion and, eventually, he was chosen. Not long after, Miss Granger's mother was murdered."

Hermione sagged against the table with the weight of his words. She knew that Tom had killed her mother. She'd felt it instinctively since meeting him. But hearing it confirmed, hearing that he had taken her mother's life as a means of gaining permanent access to her… she wanted to be sick. She wanted to hex someone. She wanted to scream.

Instead, she forced herself to listen.

"In the beginning, the Dark Lord was adamant about keeping the girl close to him. He refused to allow her to reside at Hogwarts because there, she would be vulnerable to attacks. When she was hurt on her first day, Severus was severely tortured. The Dark Lord nearly killed him in a fit of hysterical rage. I have never seen him quite so unhinged as he was that day, when he feared she would die."

Dumbledore frowned, "But Tom has never shown any affection for another person—"

"It was not out of affection. It was out of fear. We long suspected that he wanted Miss Granger, alive, for some reason. But it was not until recently that I discovered why. You see, the Dark Lord is arrogant, almost overly so. This sometimes leads him to making oversights or even outright mistakes. His first oversight was his unshakable belief that Severus, whom he believed to be a loyal servant, would sway Miss Granger to serve the Dark. That led him to allow her to reside at Hogwarts, where she made true friends and came to depend more on Severus, thus pushing her close to the Light than he ever anticipated. He then grew overly arrogant and made his first mistake."

Molly came around the table to slip an arm over Hermione's shaking shoulders.

Lucius slipped a hand into one of his pockets and pulled out a tiny book, unshrinking it and placing it on the table facing the Headmaster, "After approaching me with the plan for the Revel, Severus planted the seed with the others that Miss Granger had shown an interest in attending a Revel… properly. We wanted to make sure that the maximum number of followers attended, after all. Of course, word got back to the Dark Lord and he was delirious with excitement- to the point where he was almost no longer lucid. He then barricaded himself in my study for a bit before nearly knocking me over in his haste to leave. Once he was gone, I slipped the rather hasty wards on my study and found this."

Dumbledore reached for the book, whose covers looked suspiciously like stretched human skin, but stopped just short of touching it, "This is not possible."

"I assure you, it is."

Moody clunked his wooden leg around the table until he was beside the older wizard, "What is it, Albus?"

"There is no name for it in our world," the Headmaster nearly shuddered, "because it is not supposed to actually exist. This book is a myth, a work of muggle fiction."

Sirius and Remus peered over his shoulders curiously.

"Muggles call it 'the Necronomicon'- a book of not just Dark but exceptionally evil magic. It is fabled to only be used by the most wicked and depraved of humankind," Lucius explained, his impassive expression darkening. "And the Malfoy's have the only copy known to man."

The Order members looked confused but the Headmaster was visibly horrified, "And what do you believe Tom has used this book for, Lucius?"

He leaned over the table to silently flick the book open to a precise passage.

It took Dumbledore about 15 seconds to understand what he was reading before slamming the book shut and running his now trembling hands over his face, "It is as I feared, then."

"Will someone please explain what the blood fuck is going on?" Sirius snapped anxiously. "Why is this book so dangerous? What's he been doing with it?"

Dumbledore let out a shaky breath, "Lucius… I need a moment. Could you please?"

Lucius snatched the book from the table, shrunk it, and slipped it back into his pocket, "This book contains rituals, spells, and Dark magic practices that you could not even conjure in your worst nightmares. Reading the contents of the book, as a sane person, would have you taking your own life within hours just to escape the mental images. It is rumored to be the very Darkest of the Dark and practicing any of the contents within would earn you several life sentences in Azkaban and several repeated trips to be Kissed."

"And what has he been reading in this book?" Molly asked quietly. "What exactly was he trying to accomplish?"

He looked at Hermione as he spoke, "Immortality. He was searching for a way to be able to regenerate, over and over, even if his body was destroyed. He was searching for a way to conquer Death so that no one could ever defeat him."

Hermione felt her hands go numb and the whole of her world be reduced to nothing more than the pull of Lucius's icy blue eyes. The words fell, unbidden from her memory, "'Some riches cannot be measured in currency and are far more valuable.'"

Lucius nodded solemnly, "The Dark Lord has created a phylactery and your blood is the key."