A/N: Chapter 20!

So, who wants to see Jasper in the sunlight? *cough*It would be nice if he was shirtless*cough*

My usual thanks go out to my readers and idealskeptic for being truly awesome. Hope you enjoy the chapter.

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

Chapter Twenty: Sunlight

I was certain he could feel my anticipation, but he didn't show it as we gathered our things and left the room. He suddenly seemed nervous. When Jasper returned our key to the vacant front desk, I knew we weren't coming back. It confirmed when he left our bags in the car.

When he was ready, he led me through the dark streets. I didn't know where he was going, but I followed him until the road soon led us to the outskirts of the small village. We were the only ones in sight when Jasper came to a stop.

"This is where I carry you," he said simply. "Are you ready?"

I nodded, though a little uncertain. In the end, I barely had time to worry how he was going to pick me up before the ground was gone below me.

"You might want to tuck your head in," he went on. "I don't want you to hurt yourself once I start moving."

I didn't say a word as I leant my head against his shoulder, my forehead brushing the very edges of his hair. After a second of checking I was settled, he was off. I gasped at the speed, hardly expecting it. He was flying along, the scenery rushing by us in a blur. I could barely get a handle on it.

Not even a minute later, though, he came to a stop. I looked around as far as I could, but couldn't quite grasp why he'd chosen this spot. We were nearing the top of a hill overlooking the village below, but in the darkness, I couldn't make out much besides the uneven ground around us.

If he let me down, I wouldn't move for fear I'd lose my footing and tumble down to the bottom. Jasper wouldn't let that happen, of course, but after a short time, he didn't move. He didn't allow my thoughts to linger.

"I need to jump the last part."

"Jump?" I echoed, my eyes widening.

"If you close your eyes you'll barely feel it, I promise," he assured me as his grip tightened, holding me a little closer so that I was looking over his shoulder. I shifted, feeling a little more secure as I leant into him. The position meant my lips were only inches from his neck.

"Ready?" he asked; his voice so close. I nodded, not being able to speak as I gripped the collar of his shirt. Though he told me to close my eyes, I kept them open, not wanting to miss a thing.

He took a few steps back, and then leapt forward, pushing up from the ground. He was right to say I'd barely feel it, but the sudden movement I saw made me jolt and hold onto him tighter.

When we were safely on the ground, he started walking at a human pace. A minute later, he reached his destination and lowered my feet to the ground. As he kept his hands on my waist a moment longer, I found my eyes drawn to the scar I'd first seen in the library all those weeks ago.

From this close, I could only just make it out, but without the light shining on it, the scar was nothing but a faint outline. Jasper took a step back when he was sure I was stable on my feet, and I had to drag my eyes away. I couldn't tell whether he'd moved because of my inquisitiveness.

The sky was gradually getting lighter, showing more and more of the village below. I could tell why he'd brought me here. When the sun was up, the view would be astounding, though I was certain I'd barely pay attention to it with Jasper beside me.

"How did you find this place?" I asked.

"I needed someplace to think and this happened to be where I found myself." He looked around, his eyes lingering. "I was thinking about you, at the time."

My head shot in his direction. Me? "You were here yesterday?"

Once again, he hesitated. "No. It was after Aro instructed me to track you down. I was trying to work out whether to do it or not." His expression was distant again as I looked away. "I didn't want to involve you, but it was mainly for a far more selfish reason than what it would do to you."

For a long while, he didn't continue. I wanted to prompt him, but I didn't dare. The look on his face made me hold my tongue. He was so deep in thought…troubled by whatever he had to say. Finally, he spoke.

"I didn't want to involve you because I knew it would take even longer. At the time, I just wanted to die."

I felt the familiar sinking feeling in my chest at his words. It was only when I replayed them did it dawn on me he'd spoken in the past tense. At the time. At the time.

"You say that like you've changed your mind," I said, hesitant. I held my breath when he didn't look at me.

Please, Jasper. Please tell me you have.

I would find a way to cope without him if he told me he'd changed his mind and was returning to his family. I would let him walk away if I knew he was going to be safe because the knowledge that he was out there, alive, was better than knowing he was gone.

But he still didn't look at me.

Across the horizon, light started to crack through. I looked towards it; soon it would be even higher and I'd see what he wanted me to. A distraction. A diversion from our current topic.

It was as though he'd timed it.

My eyes closed so I could block him out, just for a moment. I should have known he wouldn't answer me properly. He never did. In his eyes, he'd probably said too much already. The sun was exactly what he needed to change the subject.

I felt the sun hit my face just as his quiet voice reached me. "Angela…"

I kept my eyes closed for just a moment longer as I tried to decipher his tone. He sounded cautious, shy, almost, and as I finally opened my eyes to look at him, I knew it had nothing to do with the topic we just dropped.

There were no words to describe Jasper in the sunlight. For a couple of beats, all I could do was stare. His description the day before suddenly made perfect sense. The reaction had exactly prismatic qualities; I hadn't been far off in saying it was like diamonds, though sparkle wasn't right at all.

I moved to take a closer look, ever conscious of the stiff set of his shoulders. I was well aware of the implications that came with exposing himself like this; the last thing I wanted was to push him too far, but my fascination was preventing me from holding back completely as I noticed a slight change where the sun hit his neck.

It looked different, as if something was…off. As though the diamonds were cracked, and not the smooth glimmer I could see everywhere else. It took me a moment to make the connection with broken glass. I glanced down at his arm, slowly piecing my theory together. If I was right, scars were making his skin react differently.

"Can I look at your arm?" I asked quietly. He didn't look away as he nodded. His eyes were wary, but to my relief, the stiffness in his shoulders seemed to ease as I rolled up his sleeve and delicately held his arm in my hands. I didn't need to compare it with his neck to know I was right.

I glanced up to see the wariness was gone now, too. "You have scars here…on your arm and neck?"

"Yes," he responded, everything about it simple, as though he'd read my thoughts and was expecting it. "You can see the difference, can't you?"

My fingers ghosted across his neck as I nodded my confirmation. They were trembling, but I didn't pull them away. I wanted to know if it felt different, like his arm had when I'd trailed my finger across it earlier. Though the change on his arm was more obvious, there was an area of his neck that seemed almost precise.

It was the same scar I'd been seeing all along.

I could feel it beneath my fingertips, like a faint groove in his skin. I followed its path, only stopping when I reached the collar of his shirt. All I wanted to do was push it aside and keep going to see just how far down it went. But I couldn't because he was still staring at me, and I was certain he hadn't breathed since I stepped closer.

"I'm sorry, am I making you uncomfortable?" I asked, pulling back. His hand moved so quickly I barely had time to react before it was wrapped around mine. I'd scarcely moved a centimetre from his neck.

"No…it's not that." He stumbled over his words, looking away for the first time since I opened mine. I waited patiently for him to find the right expression. Finally, he did. "It's just you're the first person I've really shown this to."

The first? "What about your family? They've never seen you in sunlight?"

"They've all seen it, some way or another, but I always tried to avoid it, if I could," he said, distant. "It made me uncomfortable when they looked at me in the sunlight. Except Alice."

My gaze flickered to his neck, to the biggest difference. "Was it because your skin reacted differently to theirs?" I asked without thinking. It was the only explanation I could come up with.

He smiled weakly. "They already knew how different I was."

As he finished, I got the distinct impression he wasn't going to tell me the truth. Maybe he didn't want to admit to it…or maybe he didn't even know himself. Whatever it was, it didn't matter, not to me.

He already said I didn't make him-

My thoughts trailed off as I flashed back to our joined hands. He'd somehow moved them back to his neck without me realising. My finger twitched. He said I hadn't made him uncomfortable, yet he only ever felt at ease around Alice...had he lied to me?

"Why are you confused?"

I slowly looked at him, not knowing what to do. Did I ask? Did I get him to clarify, knowing it would ruin the moment if he really had lied? But, when would I get another chance to ask? I wouldn't…

"You said it made you uncomfortable when anyone except Alice looked at you in the sunlight…" I swallowed over my suddenly dry throat. "But when I asked if I made you uncomfortable, you said you weren't."

His gaze was unwavering, looking deeper than before as he said, "I know."

I felt my heart constrict as I worked out what those two words meant. He was comfortable, comfortable enough to show himself to me, something he hadn't been able to do with anyone bar Alice. I knew my feelings for him were ruling me, but I had no control as I smiled at him.

"Thank you, Jasper," I whispered as I leaned closer and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek. As I pulled back, he moved with me. The change was so slow I barely caught it, but one moment we were cheek to cheek, and then suddenly we were face to face. His lips were inches away, and I was frozen, unable to do anything but stare as he stared back.

My pulse was strumming a rapid beat as the seconds went by and he still didn't move. I wanted to abridge the gap between us; I wanted him to do it. But he wouldn't, he couldn't, and I felt my heart sink to know if I tried to kiss him again, it would ruin the past few hours we'd spent together.

I couldn't stand the thought of him rejecting me again, not so close to the end.

My feet moved on their own accord, pulling me away from him. I felt his eyes on me as I turned my back and wandered towards a clear patch of grass. I sat down, leaning against the low, natural rock wall. When I finally found the courage to look at him again, he was still in the same position, staring.

As I met his gaze, he finally snapped out of it and looked out towards the horizon. The sight of him outlined against the sky was truly breathtaking. I absorbed as much of it as I could until he returned to me. When he sat down, we were so close our legs touched.

Focus on something else, Angela. Don't let your feelings spoil this.

There was only one downfall of focusing on something besides Jasper. Up here, on a day like this, there was nothing to focus on beside him and the Volturi. Against my better judgement, I started to scan the area before me, looking for the city of Volterra.

"Can you see them from here?" I asked when I came up with nothing but distant villages I couldn't make out.

He grasped what I meant immediately. "They're on the opposite side."

"Good." I nodded once and worked up the nerve to ask what he had planned. I was almost too afraid to ask. "Are we going to them?"

I saw him glance at me from the corner of my eye. When he didn't answer, I knew he was waiting for me to look at him. He was closer than I first thought when I turned, but the meaning in his eyes made me overlook it.

"I'm never going to lead you into that place," he said, his voice just as serious. "Not until I have to and they are the ones leading me. I know I've taken you this far, but I'd never forgive myself for walking you in sooner than we have to. No, we're not going anywhere; they'll find us."

His words warmed me more than I thought possible. "But what if it takes days?" What would we do?

The warmth slipped away as quickly as it formed when he let out a sigh. "It won't be," he told me jadedly, almost as though he wished it wasn't true… "They have eyes everywhere; they'll know we're here. It'll be a matter of hours."

There was a definite hint of reluctance in his voice, and I knew I was right. But why? Did he…did he not want this to happen? But… I swallowed heavily, needing yet another distraction. I couldn't think of this, of the possibilities, not when I knew it was going to happen regardless.

A distraction came as the sun rose higher and reflected off Jasper once again. My finger was running the length of his forearm before I could stop myself. I felt the same twinge in my stomach when, instead of pulling away, he twisted his arm so it trailed along the inside of his wrist.

I continued my gentle examination for what seemed hours, tracing the lines of his frozen veins and into his palm. My fascination returned every time my hand blocked the sun and his skin was restored to its regular paleness. At times, it even refracted onto my own.

For a fleeting moment, I allowed myself to entertain the thought of standing beside him, my pale skin shimmering in the morning sun.

"Can you feel it, when you're in the sun?" I asked.

"We only feel the sunlight, not how it affects us," he replied, pulling his eyes away from where they'd been watching my fingers explore.

I moved my hand in line with his. "Is it warm?"

His gaze flickered to our hands as he asked, "The sunlight?" before astounding me by threading his fingers through mine. All I could do was nod, unable to verbalise a response.

It didn't surprise me when he shook his head. To be honest, I hadn't expected him to say otherwise. His hands rivalled the temperature of ice, so what could the sun possibly do? From that far away, the gentle heat I could feel was just a mere light to him.

From there, I soon began to wonder how my hand felt to him. Did the warmth of my palm do anything to the coolness of his?

"I'm sorry, I know my hand must be very cold for you," he said, misinterpreting the way I used my free hand to test how warm my palm felt as I pressed it to the one entangled with his. Yet he didn't let go.

"I don't mind," I answered honestly, tightening my fingers around his. I wasn't letting go until I had to. "I was actually thinking what it felt like for you."

"It's a lot warmer than I'd have expected it to be," he replied. In that moment, I couldn't explain why his admittance meant so much to me. Surprisingly, though, I felt a wave of tranquillity wash over me. When I questioned him on it, I noticed his eyes were closed and he had that small smile I'd seen only a few times before.

"I thought you wanted to know how it feels."

His soothing response brought tears to my eyes. After everything he'd been through, and everything I'd seen, my touch could make him feel like this. I couldn't describe the way it made me feel, and I wondered whether my reaction was just as undecipherable for Jasper.

I was certain he could sense how much it meant to me, so I merely gave his hand a gentle squeeze. In any case, I couldn't find my voice to verbalise it. When I looked at him a few minutes later, though, the feeling subsided a little. I watched him carefully for another minute, but nothing changed because he wasn't breathing.

"Jasper?"

He opened his eyes. They were the same golden colour they'd been earlier, but from my peripheral vision, I still couldn't detect movement. Was our close proximity getting to be too much for him?

"If you need me to give you some space, tell me, okay?" I don't want you to sit here and suffer because of me.

For once, he looked truly perplexed. "Why would I need space?"

I looked down again. His chest wasn't moving up and down, though I was sure he'd inhaled to speak. "It's just…you're not breathing, and usually that means you're thirsty or you're too close to someone."

Oh, his eyes said, you noticed that.

"You're right about the first part, at least," he said, studying me. "But I'm not thirsty, and even if I was, I wouldn't stay here and put you in danger like that."

He'd answered my question, but created a lot more. Jasper sensed that and continued a moment later.

"I can smell them; it's why I'm not breathing." He glanced around, seeing something I couldn't. "It's actually both easier and harder to breathe right now. In some sense, the air is clean because it's just you and me up here."

I waited for the 'but' in his sentence, yet it didn't come. Jasper merely sat there, looking away. At first, I thought maybe he couldn't find the right words, but when he remained silent, I knew that wasn't the case. I'd seen him struggle with his words before, but it wasn't like this. He wasn't like this.

While I waited, I battled with myself whether or not I should ask. Eventually I decided to say it. I wouldn't have another opportunity like this. This time, though he clearly faltered, I knew he was going to tell me.

"Because I can smell them, all I can think about is what I've led you into."

Everything about his response saddened me. "Jasper, I chose to come with you."

"Yes, but you don't deserve this." The despondent look on his face made me feel even worse. I knew why he was saying this, but that didn't make it any easier to see him torment himself over it. "While you were sleeping, I kept thinking what you would have done had I been honest from the start and not led you into this blind."

I used his silence to think about it, to really think about it. What would I have done if he told me from the start that Alice was dead and he needed me to be the catalyst in finding his way back to her? Would I have sent him away? Would I have told him I couldn't, wouldn't help him?

When asking myself those questions, there was only one answer.

"I'd still have gone with you," I told him in a quiet voice, looking down. I felt his eyes on me, but I couldn't look at him again. "Even if you'd told me everything from the start, it wouldn't change the fact I'm here."

"Why would you do that for me?" he asked with sadness in his voice. Not because he doubted me, but because he questioned himself, his self worth.

For just a moment, I wished he could see what I saw when I looked at him because my response, though hard to articulate, wasn't hard to understand. I would have gone with him because the gap he filled inside my chest was something I couldn't let go of. The loneliness I'd felt after my parents died was slowly fading now I was with him.

He was giving me purpose instead of following the same routine day in, day out. Back then and even more now, I knew I couldn't just let him walk away from me. At least, not until I knew he was happy and alive, and that somehow, I'd helped him as he'd helped me.

The hard part was actually telling him. It was just another thing I couldn't do. He could feel it, though, and that was why I had to turn away. Even seeing him in my peripheral vision was too much.

How could I tell him the main reason was that I loved him?

"Don't hide from me, Angela." His voice was gentle and suddenly a lot closer now I couldn't see him. Though I tried to force my feelings away, I could feel him drawing me back in. Jasper's plea finally broke me.

"Please…"

I couldn't deny him.

When I found the courage, I saw my conflict reflected in his eyes. Something deep within me fought to look away again, but the soft pattern his thumb was tracing against my hand was soothing and slowly calming my rampant emotions.

The more I tried to force them away, the more prominent and harder to ignore they became, so I worked to relax myself. He would feel it no matter what, anyhow. That was the moment I let it out; whatever I was feeling, I stopped trying to be in control of it. I felt truly vulnerable before him, but my trust for him was so high that I couldn't find it within myself to care.

As he closed his eyes again, I knew right away that there was nothing I would ever want more than him.

I mimicked his actions and leant against him, storing the moment and the sensation of him beside me to memory. With my eyes closed, I was lulled into a sense of peace, and I could almost believe that nothing was wrong.

Almost.

The peace was shattered as Jasper tensed. I opened my eyes and half turned to him. He was staring ahead, alert, the grip on my hand a little too tight for comfort. I wanted to ask what was wrong, but suddenly I was too scared.

"They're here."

A/N: I have a feeling there's going to be some mixed reactions to this…but we'll see. Let me know what you think! Teasers go out in review replies.

I've decided I'll post Collateral over a span of two weeks between chapter 21 and 22. It will be its 'own story' so add me to your author alerts so you'll be notified when part one is available.