Lawli: Sorry for the wait! To be honest this chapters been written for at least two months now, but I didn't want to post it until I was sure how I wanted the story to end. There's only two or three more chapters left, and I was toying with several ideas of how to conclude it. I think I've finally decided on something I'm happy with, and so I'll be posting hopefully more frequently to wrap it up. Next chapter is partially written already. Real life has also been crazy for me lately, juggling full-time work and being lead in a show (pretty much a second job) and making moving arrangements (I'll be moving to Chicago hopefully next month, if all goes according to plan!) Anyways. Thanks for your patience, if you've stuck around for this story!

Disclaimer: Still own nothing!

Warnings: SuzakuxEuphemia , implied sex. Nothing at all explicit.

Fragment 21

I Found a Boy, Part 2

"I could never look you in the eyes and settle for wrong."

Suzaku wants her in the way one might want a piece of fine china – to gaze upon longingly because it is so beautiful, but never to touch in fear of breaking.

At least, that was what he thought initially. But maybe Euphemia isn't so delicate as her appearance suggests. That's the only way Suzaku can explain it, when it is Euphemia who backs him up against the wall and kisses him deeply. It's an innocent kiss, one that shows she hasn't had much experience, but the way she loops her fingers through the belt holes of his jeans is anything but that. It's a demand. One that Suzaku never expected her to make. One that Suzaku doesn't know if he can follow through with.

"Euphie—"

Euphemia pulls back, a blush high on her cheeks. She's breathing a bit heavier (Suzaku notices with a pang of guilt that he is, too; he enjoyed that) her lips moist and slightly parted.

"I'm sorry," she says, quietly, and he can tell she means it. She's always been genuine, never the sort to lie. Hesitantly she raises her eyes to meet his, and in that instant Suzaku is overcome with an intense wave of desire. It shoots down his spine and makes him shudder, partly in horror that he is reacting in such a way and partly because Euphemia has stepped away from him. "I shouldn't have done that. It's just, when I see you…"

It's the same. It's exactly the same as him. There's no way to properly describe it, no way to justify the magnetic pull they feel toward each other. He has no idea what she sees in him, but to Suzaku she is beautiful and gentle and perfect - and isn't that what every man should want, isn't that normal?

"I know you love Lelouch—"

Yes, he does love Lelouch. He loves Lelouch so much it hurts; especially because Lelouch is destroying himself – and it's Suzaku's own fault, he did that, and now he can do nothing but watch Lelouch tear apart the tapestry of their life and happiness. Lelouch isn't Lelouch anymore. And Euphemia's hands are so lovely, so pleasant as they brush through his hair, and her body is so pliant beneath his fingertips, mouth so willing. He pulls her back against him, feels her shuddering breath mingling with his own and he wants her, he can't deny it. Even if it will destroy Lelouch, destroy them, destroy everything—

They're broken anyway. Suzaku can't fix it; Lord knows he's tried and now he's just so, so tired of it all…

He doesn't know when, but suddenly they're on the bed. His bed, which he's shared countless times with Lelouch – only it is not Lelouch in his arms, it is not Lelouch's chest his face is pressed against, not Lelouch's hands running up and down his back. Why does it feel so good, anyways? He should be pushing away in disgust, not pressing closer. He shouldn't want this – and yet he needs it. He needs it more than he's ever needed anything, and it's so wrong, so very, very wrong how he groans into Euphemia's mouth when her leg slides between his own and rubs against him. So wrong when she eases him onto his back and begins to undress him.

It's so wrong. He knows it is. And when Lelouch returns home later that night from wherever he's been, smiling sweetly with that familiar far-off look in his eyes, Suzaku can't face him. He locks himself in his bedroom and doesn't come out, not even when Lelouch's worry turns into rage, and then shouting, and screaming and sobbing and pleading and finally silence.