"Whatever you're going to say, don't." Her voice was serious.
"Can't do that."
"Castle, it took me seven months in therapy to put it behind me… I can't go down this path again…"
"You have to. For me."
"Rick, I put it all behind for you!" Tears were starting to stream down her face.
"What if it costs your life? I can't let that happen to you again"
"Even if it costs my life… I can't put you through this again… I can't put myself through this again."
"If you really put it behind why are you still investigating your mother's murder, Kate?" His voice was sincere.
"What are you talking about?"
Now he was offended. He gave her a chance to come clean.
"I know you're still investigating her death and your shot, and I know that for a fact!"
"Castle! What the hell are you talking about?"
"Don't pretend you don't know it!"
"If you just stop being a jackass we can talk about it and sort things!"
"I'm a jackass? You keep lying to me so I think it makes me a fool, stupid for caring for you and your life!"
"I'm not lying to you! Castle, please!"
"I can't believe I bought that bull… of course you wouldn't stop looking for your sniper and you mother's killer." His heart was broken.
"I'm about to turn my back and never come back, Castle, so choose carefully your words."
"You'd do that?"
"I know you have an extraordinary imagination, Castle, I enjoy it a lot, I do, but this time you went too far!"
"Now I'm imagining things?"
"Are you telling me what's going on or what?"
"You're the one who should be telling me why would you promise me you'd let it go for a while and then kept looking into it behind my back!"
"Castle! First of all, I never promised it, I agreed to it-"
"And that just makes it ok?"
"Ok to what, Castle? Why don't you just say it?"
"Fine! I'm gonna say this since you're so sure of your innocence!"
"Fine!"
"Fine!"
"I'm waiting, Castle. It's better be good."
"I know a guy-"
"Oh. My. God. Seriously?"
"What?"
"You know a guy? Castle! Come on!"
"Today I became aware you're still looking into your mother's murder"
"I'm not!"
"You are."
"Ok, fine… I'll tell you what happened."
"I knew it!"
"Shut up or I'm not telling you anything!"
"The hell you aren't!"
"When my father stopped by he saw your badge and he recognized it"
"What? What does it has to do with-"
"AND he told me it was Montgomery's Detective badge. He showed it to my father when I became Detective and calmed him down. He was absolutely sure that your badge was Roy's."
"But-"
"It wasn't his badge number, I knew it. So, I asked Esposito run your badge's number and see what he got"
"And?"
"And it was Roy's, actually..."
"How come?"
"This particular badge was reported stolen in a kidnapping case the day my mother got killed."
"But the badge is here"
"Yes… so, it left me with two possibilities: 1) He never lost the badge and was trying to provide an alibi for himself; and 2) Gates was the one who kept the badge to threaten him and she is somehow connected to my mother's death"
"And yet, here it is… If it provided him an alibi, or if it was her insurance…"
"It faked him an alibi"
"Why would he keep it? Why don't just destroy it? And if she's with the bad guys, why give me the badge knowing how close I am to you…"
"Why indeed…"
"So, was that all?"
"Nope."
He stared at her.
"I went to Gates' office today to try to understand how she got this badge in the first place"
"You've awoken the dragon!"
"What dragon?"
"What did she say?"
"That's where things got a little tricky."
"Tell me!"
"She said she found it in her office's drawer with a package addressed to her, with your badge, your gun and your cuffs and a letter to you. And another to her"
"A letter for me? He left his badge for me? Where's it?"
"She wouldn't give it to me. She said something about you being a cop from your heart so you deserved a badge. And it with the gun were supposed to allow you to protect me."
"Huh…"
"She said she's on our side"
"What's does it mean?"
"I don't know… but, really? I didn't buy it. I mean… she put you with a gun under my watch, then our picture almost doing it in the precinct's elevator… what if she released that photo? I mean… if you screw up, and with that picture, I'll lose my job in a heartbeat!"
"And you wouldn't be able to keep investigating as a civilian"
"Right."
"And she may've said she's on our side to keep track of what we actually know!"
"She might have been the one who tipped them off"
"Tipped whom off?" She was suspicious "I've proven my innocence, so why did you accuse me of going behind your back?"
He took a deep breath "When you put things like that…"
"Castle, stop stalling me!"
"Ok, fine! I was the one who kept looking into your mother's murder behind your back!"
"You what?"
"I did it because you couldn't! I have the resources to dig deeper and actually find things, and pay the price of silence"
"Why would you have to pay for someone's silence?"
"Because… after you got shot I received a phone call from a man, who said he owed Montgomery's his life, and he told me he put the dragon to sleep and it would last as long as you didn't look into your shot or your mother's murder anymore. He said you'd be safe if you didn't do it… and you did."
"I didn't! I stopped as soon as I discovered the stuff about Montgomery's badge!"
"But you've awoken the dragon… the man called again a few hours ago. He said the deal is off. You're not safe anymore." He had tears in his eyes.
She didn't care.
"And how did you accuse me of something like that? What if it was your investigation who tipped them of? What about it, huh? Money can't buy everything, Castle!"
"And you think it's coincidence that I got that call the day you spoke to Gates and looked into this badge's number?"
"No, it's not. I know it. And you know it."
"So… what now?"
"What now? Really? You went behind my back and did what you asked me not to do, meanwhile I was under therapy trying to fix myself, letting go of my mother's murder, which I did the day you came and found me at the cemetery, trying to figure out all your mixed signals about us, FOR YOU!"
"You're doing therapy yet? I thought you were cleared… that's why you got back to work"
"I… lied so I could get back to work. And then I came back to fix myself. For you. For me. For us!"
"All this time, you're-"
"Healing"
"For me?"
"Yes."
"Why? I mean… I fell in love with you just the way you were…"
"Are you trying to say I didn't have to go through that to be with you?"
"I don't know… I mean… I love you being so open with me, but I don't like being the reason of your letting it go"
"Why not?"
"I don't want you to regret it and blame me! I wouldn't survive losing you! Just like now I'm here desperate to fix this situation to keep you safe!"
"I wouldn't let it go if I didn't want to, Rick. But I did it for you… because you deserved a better me. A whole me."
"You wanna know what I found out 'bout your mom's case?"
"No, I don't."
"But-"
"I worked my way through this, Rick…"
"I'm keeping it safe, then. Just in case."
"This man…"
"Mr. Smith"
She raised an eyebrow.
"He said I should call him that way."
"Fine… do you have his number, or someway to contact him?"
"Actually… I do. Why?"
"Let's set up a meeting with him."
"What for?"
"I don't wanna die and sure as hell I don't want anything to happen with my new family"
"Family?"
"Dummy, of course you're my family now!"
"You're not leaving me?"
"Why would I leave you?"
"Because I went behind your back…"
"Rick, I can think of a punishment that will do the –"
He kissed her catching her off guard.
"Thank you"
"Thank me? What for?"
"For sticking with me"
"Always"
Their eyes were having sex again.
"Do I need to know anything else?"
"I lied to you."
She took a deep breath. There's nothing like a relationship…
"What about?"
"Meredith."
"What?"
"She cheated on me. She didn't leave for a job in LA… She ran away with-"
"I don't care. I'd never do that to you… forget about it, Rick. I'm here now."
He buried her in his chest under his arms not wanting to let go.
"Babe…" She whispered.
"I can't get enough of that, you know…"
She chuckled "I have something to talk to you about."
"What is it?" he had a peaceful smile on his face.
"I'm trying to find your father."
"Come again?"
"I pulled some favors and followed some leads… I have a name and a job"
"Why would you do that?"
"Find your father?"
"Yes"
"Well… that day when Sophia said that… you were-"
"It was just a flying thing…"
"It didn't seem like it"
"I don't think I wanna know anything about him"
"Why's that?"
"Because… if I don't know anything about him…"
"He can be anything you want him to be"
"Yes… How-How do you know that?"
"I know you… that's enough for me."
"Do you have a name?"
"The first one…"
"And a job?"
"uh-huh"
"You think I'd like to know that?"
"I think you'd be impossible to put up with if you knew it."
"Really? Huh… that's a shame then."
"You don't wanna know?"
"Nope… let's make a deal, huh?"
"What?"
"When we catch the responsible for your shot and your mother's death you can tell me who my father is."
"Deal" She smiled. He was loyal to her even if it involved a question that pursued him all his life.
He really didn't have to explain why, she knew it.
"So… what a pair, huh?"
"Pair?"
"Us"
"Why?"
"I inspired you to be a police Detective, the New York finest, with my books and then you-"
"Inspired you to write your books."
They shared a loving kiss.
"I'm glad you're not actually a cop, you know…"
"Why's that?"
"You wouldn't be able to pay your credit card bill if you were…"
His eyes widened.
"Seriously… You'd have to work for a year to pay for this" She unzipped her dress.
"This?" His eyes were following her moves and then the offending fabric slid to the ground.
"Yes… this."
"Ho-How did you know?"
"Let's say that Linda was very helpful…"
"Linda, huh?" His fingers were burning to touch her skin.
"Uh-huh… and you know what I found out today?"
"That I didn't pay enough for this lingerie"
"What about the others? They were worth it?"
"Oh"
"Oh? That's all you're going with?"
"I-I… I bought you lingerie, what's the big deal?"
"Huh… I dunno… maybe because I never got any of them…?"
"You'd have shot me if I gave you one of them!"
"So why did you buy it?"
"Because I liked to imagine how would you look in these… to help me write Nikki Heat's books… and to help me survive shadowing you everyday"
"Survive?"
"You're such a tease…"
He took her hand and went to his bedroom.
"Here… I bought it all for you."
She was stunned "All of this?"
"Yes… I know you'd not accept any of it as a gift or anything… so I just stored it in here."
"That's creepy!"
He smile died in that same sec.
"They're gorgeous!"
She went through the dresses, the shoes… the boots. She opened a drawer and found a ton of lingerie. All kinds and colors of it. She saw a jewelry box.
"It's for you. Every time I saw something that made me remember you I bought it."
"Rick…"
"It's ok if you don't want to keep anything at all… I know I shouldn't have done this… but it helped me."
"I guess I don't need to bring anything, do I?"
"Bring?"
"Well… maybe my signed books, photos and… myself."
"You're...?"
"If you let me, yes…"
"Dressed like this if you asked me the moon I'd get it for you…"
"Rick… you've… you made room for me in your life all these years…"
"This is your home too."
"Then I think we're moving in with your mother."
He laughed…
"That's right... I already moved in with you"
"How did you know what to buy? I mean…"
"You're not mad?"
"It's still creepy… and kinda sweet."
"Really?"
"Really."
"I didn't want to… I don't know…"
"Rub your money on my face?"
"Yeah?"
"Let's do this… I'm moving in with you, but we'll share all the bills, but your credit card's"
"That's fair" he chuckled "But you don't have to"
"I know."
"But you will anyway"
"Yes, I will."
"It's fine with me"
"You can touch me now."
She was already in his life every day for so many years…
He let it go, he moved in with her… it didn't bothered him at all. She knew that being a part of his life involved being watched by everyone and she was willing to make that sacrifice for him. And the clothes weren't so bad either.
Still creepy.
And sweet.
Don't panic... I'm not off my game.
He'll pay for this.