AN: Hi, long time no see, first the good news, after such a long absence I have a double post available, both Chapters 191-199 and Chapters 200-211 will be posted today. Enjoy!
Now some rambling and the reason behind the double post, feel free to skip ahead to the chapters if you prefer. So, having finally kicked myself into starting this again, I did as I usually do and opened the newest translation file, which I had completed about one and a half chapters for, and went to town. After plowing through almost the whole thing in one evening and finishing halfway through the next morning (today in fact), I then opened the previous translation file, after checking the story to see that I had, for some reason, not posted this file, I proceeded to check it through one last time before posting. Surprise, surprise I got to the end of the file and found myself short half a post, for some reason that utterly escapes me now, I had translated chapters 191-194 and then stopped, then I somehow started the 200-211 file and worked on that instead. WTF? Anyhow, I have now finished and checked both files and am posting them. As we are in the final stretch (only sixty or so chapters left to go) I hope that I can finish this without any more lengthy delays. Fingers crossed y'all!
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191.
On this night, Harry was again returning home late into the night and as usual, Voldemort was waiting for him in their bed.
"How many times have I told you! Don't wait up for me! Why do you never listen?" Harry yelled in anger. Since the war started, Voldemort had been rising early every day, on some nights, he never even got to bed, Harry was getting increasingly worried about his health. Just because one had magic and potions did not mean that a human body could be turned into Superman.
Voldemort ignored all this to lovingly take his lover into his arms, uttering numerous words to placate Harry, "I know, I know, I'll go to bed early next time and not wait for you, don't fret." After which came many more promises to rest more, none which he intended to abide by. Voldemort's heart was melting like ice cream in summer at Harry's concern over him, this was one of the reasons why he was so willing to wait up for his lover.
As electro therapy required the expenditure of much energy, magical, physical and mental, Harry fell deeply asleep the moment his body and mind relaxed, the speed of his slumber both vexed and frightened Voldemort. The fear came from the fact that two simple sessions of healing were enough to tire Harry out so completely that even in sleep his face was filled with fatigue, Harry's condition just after the healing must have been much worse, while the anger came from his own sense of powerlessness, his inability to make Harry leave that damned job at St Mungos and change to a more leisurely career, all he could do was watch Harry go to work every day, working long hours and shifts, occasionally having to go back in on his days off because this patient or that needed his attention. Even though the previous director leaving Harry in charge of St Mungos was a sign of great trust and recognition, it had also placed an enormous burden on Harry's shoulders, one that he could not abandon and that might damage his health.
According to Nicholas' report, today's two healing sessions had consumed a significant amount of Harry's energy, resulting in this state of exhaustion, and this treatment would need to continue for more than one month, would Harry be able to get through such a harrowing process? He might collapse from over exertion before Jack Longbottom recovered. Nicholas also reported that those five healers had only been able to pick up 20-30% of the treatment details after assisting Harry in those two sessions, imbeciles! Nicholas in contrast, was almost half way there despite only being an observer.
At this, Voldemort could almost see in his mind's eye Nicholas reporting as he knelt in front of him on one knee, "Honored Master, according to my estimation, this stimulation treatment of Master Harry's was based on combining muggle medicine with magical healing, it could be said that it uses healing magic to practice muggle medicine. It never occurred to me that combining the two could have such a huge impact. After today's treatments, although it could not be said that there was a vast improvement, Jack Longbottom is already able to react when people talk to him, he is no longer completely non-responsive as he was when he was brought in.
Combining magical healing and muggle medicine… Voldemort had seen similar magic before, four years ago, when Harry was still a sixth year student at Hogwarts, he had taught the students of Slytherin House a series of new spells based on muggle theories, now these spells had become formidable weapons on the battlefield, this was also why he had started taking muggleborns into his ranks, Harry's demonstration today and the lack of understanding and comprehension of the pureblood healers strengthened Voldemort's resolve, muggles had their uses, muggleborns and halfbloods will also be the best and most competent underlings of pureblood wizards and witches of ancient lines.
As his thoughts roamed, his arms tightened around the soft body in his arms that smelled faintly of their fragrant body wash.
One month later, Jack Longbottom was discharged from St Mungos, the first ever recorded wizard to have recovered from insanity caused by prolonged cruciatus exposure. As the first to have adequately learned the stimulation therapy treatment, Nicholas was allowed to continue his training directly under Harry. Harry's reputation also soared. But to Harry, the joy from being able to help more people faded quickly.
As the end of 1985 approached, Harry increasingly felt that there was something wrong in his body. For a period of three months, he felt lethargic and weak, completely unlike what a man in his early twenties, with excellent health, should feel like. He immediately gave himself a thorough examination but could find nothing amiss, it was only with a dark magic diagnostic that he found that his life force was steadily weakening.
Which was to say that his life was now in countdown.
Harry could not accept this conclusion and repeated the diagnostic seven or eight times, all with the same result, he did not have long to live.
Why? He was only 21, why was his life force dwindling like that of a doddering old man? He had not used any magic that might take away his life force, nor had he consumed any damaging potions, so why was his life force weakening like a candle about to be extinguished in the wind?
Why?
192.
He soon found out the answer, Lily was pregnant! When the ecstatic young bride, blushing with happiness, informed her friends of this news, Harry's heart sank like a rock. He did his best to feign happiness and tender his congratulations, but for a moment his weakened body almost collapsed.
Two versions of the same person could not be in the same reality at the same time, muggle physicists all over the world agreed on this theory, coincidentally, there was a similar theory in the magical world. As time turners existed in this world, wizards and witches can, with the permission of the Ministry of Magic, go to see themselves in another time, but they are not allowed to stay for more than 24 hours, more than 24 hours and one version of that person will disappear. Time is immutable and only one version of a person can exist in each time.
And so Harry had fallen right into the dilemma of contravening one of the ironclad tenets of both the muggle and magical worlds.
He had come back to 1974 from 2011 using a time corridor 11 years ago, right now, in 1985, an unborn Harry Potter was growing in Lily's womb, obviously, the growth of this embryo would have the cost of the weakening of Harry's 21 year old body and the sapping of his life force, when infant Harry is born will likely be the day 21 year old Harry would have to face death. The worst thing was that if the 21 year old Harry wanted to turn this situation around and regain his health, then the one who would have to die would be that as yet unborn child and if the infant Harry were to die, then would the 21 year old Harry, who was essentially the same person, living in the same time, still be able to survive? No matter which way things went, the now 21 year old Harry will likely not be able to make it.
The Harry of 2011 would not have been afraid of death, at that time he was carrying the burden of leading the Order of the Phoenix and the responsibility of the lives of each Order member, he did not live for himself, he lived for the Order, he lived for every witch and wizard who fought against Voldemort and for the innocent muggles. It was only natural that once the Order that he lived for was gone, his life had no meaning, if he could exchange what little value he had left for the lives of tens of Order members, it would be his fondest wish to do so. At that time, the Order had completely failed in their task and so it should fall to him to take full responsibility and to preserve whatever embers of the Order that he could so that one day they may be able make a comeback. For this reason, Harry had almost embraced death with no hesitation whatsoever.
In comparison, although he was the same man, with the same soul, the Harry of 1985 was completely lacking in that willingness to make the noble self-sacrifice, he could not manage to face his destined demise with equanimity, he did not want to die, he wanted to live, for as long as possible.
He was no longer that despairing and empty Harry, with nothing left to live for, he now had something that he did not want to lose.
Voldemort, the one who had once been the greatest enemy of the Harry of 2011, someone who he had once been willing to fight to the death, the one who had murdered his parents and been responsible for the deaths of those mentors and friends that had been closest to him, an evil wizard, the Dark Lord, the one who was the lover of the Harry of 1985, an integral part of his life, as vital as the air in his lungs. Even though that man was lofty and solemn in front of his minions and cold and vicious in the eyes of outsiders, to Harry he was gentle, loving and unimaginably devoted.
Voldemort had given Harry countless affection and endless love, he was a combination of father, friend and lover all rolled into one, filling the well of emptiness and icy desolation that had filled Harry's life in the past decades, he had fulfilled Harry's wish for a family and loved ones. And this love did not come because he was "The Boy Who Lived", nor was it because he was "The Savior of the Wizarding World" or simply "The Savior", no, it was simply because he was Harry Potter, ordinary Harry Potter.
At the thought that he might never again see Voldy's smile or hear Voldy's voice, never again be able to touch Voldy's body, Harry's heart bled.
He and Voldy still had so many things left undone, they had yet to catch a dragon for Nagini to play with, nor to solve a Sphinx's riddle or hear the song of a siren, or to pick elvish fruit in the elven forest or climb Mount Everest, or to see the sun rise over the ocean nor the sun set over the Gobi desert. They had always thought that they had all the time in the world, enough for them to squander it. Once Harry had entered St Mungos, everyday seemed to have been filled with work, even during his breaks he had spent as much time as possible studying Healing magical theory, this was why Voldemort had always wanted to start the war, he wanted to first give Harry the world then spend their time travelling it happily. This was only natural given that they are wizards who with their tremendous power would live much longer than even the average wizard, so they had not treasured their time, thinking that they still had eternity together, unfortunately, their remaining time numbered only in months.
193.
After the initial shock, fear and unwillingness to let go, Harry calmed down quickly. He had to calm down quickly in order to carefully consider how to deal with this devastating news. He couldn't possibly keep it from Voldemort, even disregarding the suspicion that his weakening health would rouse, should he be able to keep his physical condition from Voldemort, he would still die when little Harry was born and it would be more cruel as well as unfair to allow Voldemort to deal with his death with no warning.
As Harry's lover, Voldemort had a right to know what had happened to Harry, he also had a right to know about Harry's past. At the very least, Voldemort had spent a long night with Harry telling him about his own past, of course, on the matter of his numerous past lovers, the man had wisely chosen to keep silent. Logically, Harry should also be honest with Voldemort, but due to various reasons and nebulous feelings, Harry has always refrained from telling him, Voldemort had been very understanding and had never asked, this was the way Harry's lover showed his trust and understanding, and now, Harry had to tell Voldemort, he could not betray Voldemort's trust and love, he can't let the man lose him without knowing why.
But before taking that step, Harry was still determined to try and find a way to solve the problem, alright, he still held on to a sliver of hope that there may be a way to resolve the issue without compromising either the baby's safety or his own.
After exhausting all the medical and time travel theory books, Harry sought out Snape. His friend who deeply loved the Dark Arts and DADA, but whose achievements in the field of potions was even greater, the complex and difficult potions used in the Shock Therapy was first brewed by Snape and then taught to the St Mungos potion master by Harry. Harry hoped that his friend, with his monumental achievements in both magic and potions, would be able to give him some ideas. And so, on a cold winter's day, he went to Snape's house, and succeeded in causing Snape to sweat profusely in his dark and slightly cold room.
On seeing the color emitted by his wand, Snape's face twitched violently, such a display of shock caused Harry to laugh. He glared at Harry, as though angry that Harry seemed so uncaring about his own situation.
"This is not funny Harry! How did you do this to yourself?! Do you know that you only have 7 months to live!" Snape yelled in a panic before retrieving various life-strengthening potions off the shelf and wrapping them up for Harry, grumbling as he pulled out tome after tome of magical texts and skimming through the contents.
"Of course I know, that's why I came to you." Harry nonchalantly went through the potions in the bag, picking up a particularly pretty bottle to play with.
Snape was so angry he wanted to smack Harry one, didn't this man have any feelings about his impending death! "Why are you so relaxed, haven't you thought about what might happen to Master Voldemort if you die?"
Harry's face immediately darkened and it was a while before he replied, "I will die, Sev. I have accepted this. This is why I must make arrangements for everything that I am concerned about, so that I can leave in peace. Both for Voldy and for you."
Snape lifted his head from the books he was busy going through, puzzled, "Me?"
"Remus Lupin." Harry said without inflection, "There's no use protesting Sev, I can't die peacefully with this unresolved." His words completely derailed Snape's rage, seeing his friend's desolate expression, Harry smiled sadly, "Don't worry, I have made arrangements."
Snape's pitch black eyes were shadowed with deep sorrow, he almost wept at hearing that Harry might not be able to "die peacefully". How did things get this bad? It was true that Harry didn't seem to be feeling very well the last few time he had seen him, but given that Harry himself was a very gifted healer, he had not given the matter much thought. He had never thought that in a matter of days, Harry would now be getting ever closer to death. "Don't you say that Harry, you will live! I swear this to you! I will do everything I can to save you! Also, Master Voldemort, he will not let you die, there is nothing Master Voldemort cannot do! You have to believe in him!"
"Of course Sev, Voldy can do anything." Harry played with the potion in his hands and nodded. Nothing in this world was all-powerful Sev, not even Merlin, otherwise he wouldn't have died, would he? Harry thought.
As he left, Harry made one request of his friend, "Sev, please, let me tell Voldy about this, alright? I don't want him to have to face any more shocks, trust me, I will tell him within the week."
Forcing down the pain in his heart, Snape acceded to his best friend's first, and last, request.
194.
After a couple more days, they had a rare break and Harry invited Rose to have coffee with him. They sat in Harry's office, in front of the floor length window, enjoying the snowy view. This year's snow fell especially heavily, covering St Mungos in a blanket of white, children lacked the adults' worries and ran around the courtyard in front of the hospital joyfully, engaging in snowball fights, their laughter bringing smiles to the adults' faces.
Harry watched the wizarding children enviously, his heart bittersweet. If it wasn't for his current fragile condition, he might have spent this rare break outside, feeling the beautiful world of snow. Alas, he drank another mouthful of coffee, savoring the rich aroma as it slid down his throat, warming his currently cold-fearing body. "Winter has arrive, will Spring be far behind?"
Rose snorted, "Harry, when did you become a poet?"
Harry gave a brief smile, "Just now. Rose, do you like Spring?"
The girl nodded emphatically, "Of course. It is the season of renewal, the beginning of a year."
"A spring wedding would be wonderful." Harry words seemed to be idle conversation.
"Yes! My parents had a spring wedding, they said that it felt especially wonderful." Rose's reply was wistful. She also wanted a spring wedding, receiving their friends' and families' good wishes with her beloved Richard. But old Baron Colson didn't like her, even though she was one of Harry's most trusted subordinates.
Truly, every girl had countless dreams for their own future wedding, Harry thought. "In that case, you would not object if old Baron Colson set the wedding date for March 6th?"
What?! Rose couldn't believe her own ears, what had she just heard? Did Harry say "wedding"? And old Baron Colson? Everyone knew that Baron Colson only had one son and one daughter and the daughter was still at school, not even engaged, so the only one that he could be setting a wedding date for was his only son Richard. And Harry had asked her if she would object, this meant that… did Harry… Oh Merlin!
"Ha…Harry, if I understand you correctly, you… are you saying that…" She took a deep breath and continued, voice trembling, "Are you saying that old Baron Colson has agreed to Richard and I getting married?"
"Yes." Harry replied.
Rose immediately set her coffee cup aside, worried that she would drop it otherwise, disgracing herself in front of Harry. "But... but… but doesn't Baron Colson think that we should wait until Richard has made some achievements in the war before we talked about marriage?" Due to the Baron's insistence, Harry's plans of having Richard and Rose marry right after graduation had been set aside. Although the Baron did not want to offend Harry, their Master's mate, he still did not hesitate to delay as much as possible, suggesting that Richard achieve some accolades before marriage. Most people were of course aware that the old nobleman simply didn't want a muggleborn daughter in law and was thus delaying as much as possible. Richard had more than once complained to Harry about the numerous witches that his father paraded in front of him.
Harry couldn't wait any longer. "You and Richard are both old enough and old Baron Colson wants to hold his grandchildren." Harry lied. If he didn't make sure this marriage occurred before he died, as soon as he passes, Rose's hopes will be dashed. This is why he had Voldemort force the baron the make a decision. Voldemort was under the impression that Harry truly thought Rose was getting too old and should be married.
Rose was overjoyed and couldn't help standing up and twirling around the room. She had waited so long for this day, finally she would be able to stand at Richard's side and not have to feel uncomfortable about the other women parading around him. She did not forget to thank Harry with a kiss to his cheek, "Thank you Harry." Of course she understood that without Harry's support, Richard would have been married off to some pureblood princess by now.
"Harry, why are you so cold? Have you caught a chill?"
Harry waved negligently, "I'm fine, I'm a healer remember?"
Just before their shift ended, Nicholas came to Harry's office as ordered then immediately froze in shock at the sight of the mountain of parchment, piled so high it almost reached the ceiling.
Harry didn't waste time with idle chatter, pointing at the parchments he said, "One month, memorize all these scrolls. I will check your progress at the end of the month, you get one question wrong, 10 volts of electro shock, two wrong, cruciatus, three wrong and I'll let Voldy punish you."
Nicholas paled dramatically at Harry's words, then flushed, and paled again before darkening, at Harry's final statement he became even paler than before. Not only as Harry's request and punishment too severe, but also because Harry had pointed out his secret position. "Master Harry… you…" He stammered.
"Just because I don't participate in these matters, doesn't mean that I don't know anything." Harry smirked, "Any more questions Nicholas?"
"N… no, Master Harry!"
Nicholas walked despondently out of the office with the stack of parchment taller than him and Harry's smirk immediately disappeared. He needed to find a successor and the next Director of St Mungos. Allan, of course, was an indisputable candidate, but he leaned more towards the Order of the Phoenix, Harry's only choice was Allan. If Harry was still alive, St Mungos could stay neutral, but who could guarantee this after Harry died? The stores kept in St Mungos' cellar, the hidden support that St Mungos had, all this could be a huge advantage no matter which side St Mungos leaned towards, this might be the straw that broke the camel's back! Even now, St Mungos was filled with various eddies of power and it was only Harry's authority that kept them all in check, if Harry were to leave the post of Acting Director, if there was no suitable balancing force to take over, St Mungos would be plunged into anarchy. Allan was a good solid man who was easily persuaded, combined with his admiration for the Order, if someone were to start whispering in his ear, St Mungos might turn fully towards supporting the Order. He had to leave a stable support for the Death Eaters, someone who had the support and approval of many and could raise a clear standard at the appropriate moment, Nicholas, with his half-muggle parentage, was the best candidate.
In this past year, Voldemort had been secretly recruiting wizards and witches with muggle ancestry, possibly with the intention of infiltrating the muggle world. This had seemed to speed up in the last three months, two weeks ago he had even met with the muggle prime minister for dinner and had placed some aurors near him.
Things seemed to be moving in a more positive direction, Harry thought as he leaned into the back of his chair in exhaustion.
195.
The sixth day after his meeting with Snape coincided with Harry's day off. For more than six months Harry had still gone to work on this day but this time, surprisingly, Harry decided to rest instead, "Don't disturb me." He said to Rose, "I need a day of solitude."
For the whole of that day, Harry was at Voldemort's side, his scorching passion almost melted Voldemort and was a rather wonderful surprise. He had wondered at Harry motive initially, "Has something happened? Do you need my help with something?" But Harry had denied his queries with a deep, passionate kiss, "I just wanted to spend some time with you, don't you want that?"
"Of course I do."
For dinner, Harry instructed the house elves to prepare a table full of delicious dishes, he even drank two goblets of a rather potent wine. Finally, Voldemort could not restrain himself anymore, "Harry, do you have something you need to tell me? This is not like you." In order to be as aware and clear-headed as possible in case of an emergency at work, Harry never drank anything potent after he started working at St Mungos.
Harry put down his goblet with a smile, "Can't I just want to have a drink with you? You are always complaining that I won't have a drink with you." He blinked innocently.
"Harry." Voldemort's expression became more severe, "I am your lover, if there is anything troubling you, you can tell me, you do not have to take it all on by yourself. You have been behaving quite unlike yourself today and I am not blind."
With a silent huff, Harry lowered his head as tears started to blur his vision. He did not want to be the one to reveal such terrible facts to his lover, how he wished that it was all just a figment of his imagination and he was still healthy and well.
"Harry!" Voldemort stood abruptly from his seat in order to come around to physically comfort Harry. He was well aware of Harry's nature, not much could make him cry as he was used to keeping everything locked tight inside, any tears he wept would be in the silence of his own mind. But today, Harry was crying in front of him, what has happened?!
"Don't come over!" Harry's voice was sharp and halted Voldemort in his tracks, "Sit down! Please don't come over here Voldy, if you do I will never have the courage to say this."
"But, you're crying..."
"Even so! If you come over, I will utterly loose all courage..." Harry sobbed but remained insistent.
Helplessly, Voldemort handed over a handkerchief and watched Harry wipe his tears, his heart aching.
"Let me tell you a story..." Harry lifted his head, his eyes filled with resolve, there was nothing to be done, if it had to come, let him face it with dignity. "The story... began in 1997, with a young eleven year old boy named Harry James Potter..."
Harry had always thought that he was just an ordinary boy, but on his eleventh birthday a giant came to him and told him that he was wizard. On the train to the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Harry met his future best friends, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger, he also met Neville Longbottom and Draco Malfoy, who would become Harry's rival. Harry's childhood from that point on was not a smooth or enjoyable one, the shadow of a Dark Lord named Voldemort was always hanging over him. Voldemort was the master of a group called the Death Eaters and he wanted to conquer and rule the entire world, he tried to kill Harry when he was still a baby but was vanquished by him instead, he left a lightning bolt shaped scar on Harry's forehead and this scar gave Harry the ability to speak parseltongue. When Harry was fifteen, Voldemort was resurrected, and when he was seventeen, war broke out. Due to the death of Dumbledore, the leader of the Order of the Phoenix, Harry, who had defeated Voldemort before was made the Order's leader, but this time, after nine years of war, it was Voldemort who triumphed. To protect the lives of members of the Order, Harry decided to sacrifice himself but instead, he fell into the Time Corridor and went to 1938, there he met the child who would one day become Voldemort and who was named Tom Riddle. At first Harry wanted to kill Tom but due to their similar childhoods he could not do it and instead he walked away, upon returning to the Time Corridor, he came out of it again at 1974, he again became a Hogwarts student but this time he did not insist on going to Gryffindor and so the sorting hat placed him in Slytherin and he became friends with Severus Snape, Voldemort, the head of Slytherin House became his teacher. After five years, Harry and Snape had become rivals with the premier students of Gryffindor house, James Potter and Sirius Black, despite the fact that James would one day be his father and Sirius his Godfather. After that, Voldemort inserted his overpowering presence into Harry's life, the man's gentle caring and love, his indulgence and pampering caused Harry to fall in love with his once enemy and after Harry's graduation, they began to live together. Originally, Harry thought that the two them could live like this forever but he discovered that he will soon die as his mother, Lily Potter, was pregnant.
The story might have been a good one, but Harry had never been good at spinning tales and the story sounded rather flat and ordinary. However Voldemort's expression went through many changes from the beginning of the tale to the end, from confused, mystified, mirthful to disbelieving, solemn, shocked, thoughful and finally to fearful.
Not able to restrain himself anymore, he ran to towards Harry and embraced him, watching the grey light on his wand from the diagnostic charm, tears fell from his eyes, "Harry, Harry, why didn't you tell me earlier? You... you could die, you idiot!"
196.
With one had holding tightly to Voldemort, Harry used the handkerchief in his other hand to wipe away his lover's tears, as he felt the man's body shudder from the immense pain and sorrow Harry's heart again filled with fiery emotions and tears poured from his own eyes. "I am sorry Voldy, so very sorry. In truth I wanted to tell you these things long ago, I haven't wanted to keep any secrets from you for a long time, but for some reason, every time I tried to tell you, I would get a bad feeling, though something was about to go wrong, and so I hesitated. I've been so weak, only wanting to live a peaceful life, not wanting anything to disrupt our happiness, and so I chose to keep this from you again and again. I never thought that it would turn out like this, I feared that if I didn't tell you now I would never have the chance to do so. Voldy, can you forgive me?"
"For... forgive you, what are you talking about... I could never blame you for any of this!" Voldemort's currently blurry eyes stared straight at the pale face of his lover who was currently encircled in his arms, tightening his arms around Harry and feeling the slight chill in his body, waves of regret assaulted him, he had been spending so much time working that he hadn't even noticed the changes in Harry's body. He had been so busy recently, compared to Dumbledore he had virtually nothing to build relations on in the muggle world and it was imperative that he build up a network there in the shortest amount of time. Luckily that old coot was not nearly as well established in the muggle world as he liked to claim, with only the barest minimum of contact with some senior government officials of the muggle English government as well as assigning these same officials with some protection from the Auror Department. Such a superficial relationship would be quite easily to destroy, especially considering the fact that Voldemort had already had a secret audience with her majesty the Queen- at least for now, he would still call her that, after all, he himself was rather interested in that crown of hers. If he were to succeed in uniting the magical and muggle worlds, as the great wizard who ushered in a new age, it would be natural for him to ascend the throne. Perhaps because of this and given the fact that Nicholas had been stationed at Harry's side, he had not taken time to look deeper into the changes in Harry. When had his Harry's face become so pale? When had his beloved's body become so chilled? Despite being a Slytherin, his Harry's rosy cheeks and warm body had always been more like that of a Gryffindor! "This is my fault Harry, I have been too busy with my work and have not paid enough attention to you, otherwise..."
Harry put his hand over Voldemort's mouth to halt his words as he shook his own head, "No Voldy, you did nothing wrong. Everything you have been doing has been what you have worked for and wanted for decades, it should not... it cannot be delayed because of me, I never wished to be a burden. Lily is pregnant and when her child is born and grows to adulthood, it will be another me, we can still be together, so go and do what you must, otherwise I will not be able to die in peace."
"But that child will not be you, he will be someone else!" Voldemort eyes darkened to an enraged blood red at the mere thought of the babe in Lily Potter's belly that was the cause of his Harry's imminent death.
Harry kissed the man repeatedly in hopes of calming his rage, "Voldy, he is me, just without my memories, but I will return to my own time and when that happens, he will be me."
Voldemort shook his head in denial, "I cannot allow you to die for some nebulous reason like that. He is him and you are you. I will not kill him, I will even protect his friends and family, but that does not mean that I must give up on you living. I will have you by my side, forever."
Harry's tears started falling again.
It was late when Voldemort carried Harry to their huge bed and covered his body with the duvet, "Harry, tell me what potions you have been taking, tell me everything, I must devise a new treatment regiment for you."
"Sev and I have discussed this, we used..." Harry then provided a long list of spells and potions, many of which Harry wasn't even aware existed prior to this, lord knows which musty tome Snape dug them out from. "We only briefly tried many of these, I am afraid that anything too effective might cause harm to the child inside Lily."
The child in Lily Potter's belly... Voldemort's expression darkened again at the thought of the child. This was the sticking point, hurt the child and Harry would be most upset, kill the child and Harry might disappear, but allowing the child to be born healthy into this world might be tantamount to sending Harry to his death, "Damn it! That damned brat!"
In his heart, he did not consider that growing babe to be Harry, it is likely that even their names would be different, given that the cowardly James Potter with his hidden feelings for Harry would never give his child the same name as the object of his desires- the babe would just be another Potter, a Potter who will look just like Harry, but just another Gryffindor. The one he loved, the one he treasured, was the Harry in front of him right now, the Harry James Potter that had been with him for decades.
"Voldy, that is me." Harry shook his head in resignation.
"Alright, alright, I won't say anything more." Voldemort waved his hand in surrender. "You rest, I want to look through some books."
Harry's hand on the hem of his shirt kept him from moving away, "It's late Voldy, won't you come to bed with me? I want to sleep with you here."
The sorrowful longing in his lover's emerald green eyes were like a blow to Voldemortls heart. All he could do was climb into bed and take Harry into his arms, holding him tighter and tighter. "I love YOU Harry, only you."
"I know. I love you too Voldy."
197.
The next morning, Harry, as usual, woke up at the alarm, went through his morning ablutions, then made his way downstairs for breakfast.
On seeing Harry appear at the entrance of the dining room, Voldemort's first reaction was confusion, bed rest was something that Harry needed and must have at present, so why... the next moment confusion became anger, after Harry sat down, he started to speak, his face grim, "Harry, do not tell me that you are still going to go to work at St Mungos today."
Hearing the undisguised anger in Voldmort's voice, Harry huffed a silent sigh. He more than anyone understood that the best thing for his current condition was bed rest, but right now was not a good time to leave St Mungos in Allan's hands, at the very least, he had to wait until Nicholas could stand strong on his own. "You are correct Voldy, I am going to work. Let me explain." He hurriedly added before Voldemort could voice his, no doubt, loud objections.
Voldemort controlled his anger as much as possible but his tone was still explosive as he replied, "No matter your reasons, right now you cannot go to St Mungos! You are a patient and you must consider your own health, the exhaustion of work will only further exacerbate the draining of your life force, you must rest!" He tone softened as he continued earnestly, "Even if you don't care about your own body, surely you can think of me? You doing this will only cause me to worry more!"
Harry smiled at him in consolation but was resolute. "Voldy, of course I have valid reasons for doing this. Do you remember Nicholas?"
"Nicholas? Nicholas who?" Voldemort froze, could Harry have found out about Nicholas? But how could that be, in order to allow Nicholas to better assist Harry, he hadn't even marked the lad, determined that he would appear every inch a neutral.
Harry found his lover's pretended nonchalance quite humorous as his simply nodded, "Nicholas Barclay, eighteen years of age, Gryffindor graduate of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, joined the Death Eaters last August, and you didn't even give him the dark mark."
Voldemort's expression was something to behold. Anyone would have had the same reaction if they were suddenly faced with their lover, who always seemed completely unconcerned and oblivious, suddenly revealing that they in fact knew every little detail about his work. He wasted several seconds trying to determine which of his underlings had let slip this information to Harry but quickly gave that up as a lost cause given the sheer number of possible candidates, more than he could possibly work through for sure. More than a third of the wizards and witches that he had recruited in the last four years had been fans of Harry. Well, at least this indicated that his little Harry did care about his work. Voldemort's mood lightened. "Ah, right, I remember, that little Gryffindor. Although half his blood is muggle, he is quite intelligent and he's an admirer of yours, as he was interested in becoming a healer I sent him to St Mungos. If it wasn't for his half muggle blood I might have marked him. Such a shame." He shook his head in feigned disappointment as he sighed.
Harry rolled his eyes while Voldemort was distracted. Did Voldemort really think that he knew nothing about this? After the war started Voldemort began to accept halfbloods and even muggleborns into the ranks of the Death Eaters and in the past six months there had been a veritable surge of wizards with muggle blood joining the ranks, in the past year or so, more than a dozen followers with "impure" blood had risen to ranks equal to pureblood wizards and these followers had all been marked! Harry was well aware of the reason why Voldemort had not marked Nicholas but it would not do to embarrass his lover too much. As Voldemort had the best of intentions, he decided not to call the man on his charade. "Yes, it is such as shame. He doesn't seem too pleased with his own blood status, he's always saying that he will marry a pureblood wife to elevate his standing." And it must be someone from an old, noble family, Nicholas was very insistent on this. He should be able to achieve this goal after the war, once he becomes the Director of St Mungos.
"Hm, that would have to wait until the lad has achieved some results." Voldemort snorted. He had high hopes for Nicholas being able to make innovations in the field of combining magical healing with muggle medicine. With some accomplishments in this field, marrying the daughter of a powerful and noble pureblood line would not be out of the question.
198.
"How fortuitous, I was just about to help him achieve some results." Harry replied with a smile.
Voldemort was suddenly reminded that up till now, Harry had not taken on a healing apprentice, thinking that Harry only wanted to teach Nicholas, the only mediwizard that Harry found agreeable, everything he knows, Voldemort waved his hand in dismissal. "Absolutely not. If you want to teach Nicholas I can have him come to the Manor after work for his lessons, I cannot let you go to St Mungos in your current condition."
Harry was exasperated as he couldn't help rolling his eyes again. Yes, he did want Nicholas to become his first, and last, apprentice, so that even after his death the standard of healing in the magical world will continue to improve and develop further, and indeed this is what he will do. But, would he really make the effort of going to St Mungos just for that? Of course he would be aware that Voldemort could have Nicholas come to the Manor for private lessons! "That's not why I'm going to St Mungos. I do of course care about my body and if there wasn't a very good reason, I would never put myself through this."
"Then why must you bloody well go to work?!" Finally pushed beyond his limits, Voldemort yelled out his question, the panic and fear building up since last night finally exploded. No matter what he said, Harry just couldn't put down those patients of his! But how could the health of those people compare to Harry's own health? Voldemort didn't give a damn about healers' professional integrity or oaths, his precious Harry was ill and might soon leave this earth, with that in mind, he was nowhere near noble enough to allow his Harry to suffer in that place which is frantic almost 24 hours a day. He had long despised this job that had robbed Harry of sufficient time to rest, if Harry must work, he could arrange a position at the Ministry, perhaps a minor position in the Muggle Liaison office. If Harry doesn't want to join the Ministry then even better, he could just rest at Voldemort Manor, he could send Severus to stay with Harry. As for those patients waiting for Harry to treat them, to the devil with them! "I'm telling you Harry, don't even mention any rubbish about patients, I will not agree to this!"
Seeing that Voldemort was well and truly angered, Harry put down his knife and fork before getting up and walking over to Voldemort's side. The man wouldn't even glance at him, but his hand immediately crept over to rest on his waist. Harry hid a chuckle. "Voldy, please listen to me and don't be angry." He cleared his throat before continuing, "If I am not there to hold the reins at St Mungos, Allan will become the Director. He has the seniority and the healing skills, he is also friendly and approachable and is happy to help others, everyone at St Mungos likes him and with his current position of Chief Healer, no one would protest his advancement to Director. But his does have one vital flaw, he is too indecisive and easily swayed. I am sure you are aware of the internal politics of St Mungos, the two to three hundred staff there are divided into various factions with those who either belong to or support the Order of the Phoenix being in a slightly stronger position. Many of these people are healers with many years of experience and their influence on Allan is substantial. As for our side, they are mostly young and few have the seniority or years of experience that could match them against the order members or sympathizers. As long as I am there, I can hold back the factions, but if I am gone, Allan would fall under the wizards of the Order and might even turn St Mungos into a hospital that only treats members of the Order. When Director Moore promoted me to the post of Acting Director, it was in an effort to use the authority of the position to keep the "power" of the Order in check. So no matter what, I cannot allow Allan to become the Director at this point in time."
"The Death Eaters have their own healers." Voldemort had never placed much weight on St Mungos, his followers mostly had their own family healers, if worse came to worse they could just use those healers.
"Then what about the St Mungos Aurors? How will you break down anti-magic wards there? And what about the things that are in the basement at St Mungos?" Harry was becoming frustrated as he fired his questions one after another. If St Mungos were to become another Hogwarts, then Voldemort would not have much hope of winning this war.
The string of questions effectively stopped Voldemort in his tracks, he had to admit that things were not as simple as he had thought. In truth one could not blame him, during all the previous wars, St Mungos had been a neutral ground that was paradoxically considered both important and insignificant by all sides of the conflicts, thus Voldemort had simply looked at St Mungos without Harry as simply a place where patients were healed and neglected the power behind the place. Alright, so St Mungos is quite important, but Harry, Harry was MORE important. "I still don't agree with you going to work there, it could damage your body too badly, if you were to leave me, even if I conquered the world it would have no meaning."
199.
Harry was overcome with emotion at these words, he embraced Voldemort and pressed a deep kiss to his lover's lips before providing his loved one with a comforting promise. "Dearest Voldy, I know my own body and I do not intent to stay at St Mungos for much longer. As soon as Nicholas is fully able to take on the position that I have arranged for him at St Mungos, I will return to the Manor and rest as much as I need. Is this acceptable?"
After careful consideration, Voldemort arranged for a house elf to accompany Harry to St Mungos in order to take care of him whenever necessary. "Although these pitiful little creatures are quite worthless otherwise, their ability to serve is unmatched and they are quite capable in their usage of magic, I can only relax if you have him with you."
Although Harry did not really want to have a house elf following him around at work, he did worry that his body might give out at any moment, in order to keep any such situation from his colleagues, having a house elf at hand to take care of things in any sudden mishaps might be handy. And so Harry nodded his agreement. "Alright, that's what we will do."
Recently, Nicholas was by turns elated and depressed, one moment he would be as high as though he had just taken a Pepper Up potion and the next he would be as down and gloomy as if he had just seen a grim. The culprit that caused his roller coaster like emotions- no, no, no, how could he use such a disrespectful word to describe great master Harry, he mentally gave himself a slap on the head.
Anyway, after becoming great master Harry's first apprentice, his days of happy suffering began.
To be able to closely observe and even touch Master Harry was his greatest happiness to date. Master Harry was perfection made real: beauty, elegance, power, he looked fragile but was in fact incredibly strong, he possessed all the best qualities of noble purebloods and he was kind, compassionate, just and fair, it was hard to believe that he had half muggle blood running in his veins, he was more like a pureblood than pureblood wizards that came from old, powerful and noble families! Master Harry had so much knowledge and he had ways of treating even the most obscure and difficult cases, no matter how complex the incantation, he could complete it, he was even able to combine magic with muggle medicine, establishing a new brilliant chapter in the field of healing!
Master Harry had lived up to all Nicholas' expectations of his idol and to be the recipient of personal instruction by Master Harry was the highest honor of he, Nicholas Barclay's entire life!
But... still... Nicholas glanced around, and seeing that there was nobody else around, allowed his face to fall into a grimace as the teensiest, tiniest negative point in the massive fortune of being at Harry's side again raised its ugly head, last time, he had gotten the potion dosage in the treatment of a werewolf bite wrong by one gram and had been punished with 15 volts of electro shock, the time before that, he could not recall the lengthy and complicated charm to heal the damage from a freezing curse and he was punished by being thrown into the pool in front of the hospital building, it was January and freezing, the time before that, he had been so distracted watching Master Harry that he had caused a patient some pain and he was punished with a leglocker curse for more than five hours, during which he had to hope like a kangaroo if he wanted to go anywhere... but none of these incidences were the most terrifying, no, the most terrifying experience was the healing knowledge test that he was given five days ago. One month ago, his wise and learned Master Harry had presented Nicholas with all his knowledge and the results of his research in written form and asked him to memorize everything within one month, Nicholas had somehow managed to cram everything into his memory within this period. But Master Harry was so strict, if he took even a second to recall something, the first time he was punish with an electro shock and the second time it was a Crucio, thank Merlin he was able to answer all subsequent questions fluently, he dreaded to think the third punishment, Master Harry would have asked Honored Master Voldemort to administer the punishment and then Nicholas would really have wished for death!
Such days filled him with both elation and worry. And to think that he had wanted to spend as long as possible at Master Harry's side, he had once even thought to slow down the pace of his learning, even though Master Harry would have tossed him to Master Voldemort is he were to do so, but after being severely warned by Master Voldemort, he could only hope that Master Harry taught him faster...