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The outside world began to filter into Syed's mind as it climbed from the depth of untroubled sleep. He heard the sound of a tube train clattering over the bridge, and imagined Matt's round face, looming at him, an expression of bemused unease, heard a distant car horn out in the square and smiled briefly, seeing Michael's handsome grin, the scar he had caused still etched above his lip. He smelt the scent of familiar sheets, felt the weight of a body move beside him, sensed warm breath on his cheek.

He opened one eye.

"Are you staring at me, Christian?"

"Might be."

He opened the other, bringing Christian's face into focus.

"Are you doing that creepy thing where you have to check I'm still breathing?"

"Definitely."

Syed untangled his arm from under the duvet and ran his finger along the line of Christian's jaw.

"You could have spent the time better having a shave…"

Christian shifted, stroking back a lock of hair from Syed's forehead, running his thumb softly over the livid bruise.

"I'll have one now.."

"No, you know I like it, when you're stubbly. And I want you where I can see you…"

"I'm not going anywhere…" Christian frowned slightly and cleared his throat.

"What?" Syed asked.

"I was thinking.."

"Go on…"

"Did you forget me completely?"

Looking away, Christian tried to hide the pain that the thought had caused him, knowing it would show in his eyes.

"Your name, what you looked like, but not the essence of you. There was so much fear, Christian, jumbled memories of anger and panic and guilt. Strange people popping into my consciousness, hurting me, and me hurting them in return. Weird triggers, smells. The alcohol on my clothes, the hospital smell, reminded me, of when, when I tried to…"

"Hush, hush. I can't bear that you felt so desperate, went through that alone…"

"It was my choice, Christian. I know now, that you would have come if I'd called, did come. I thought I had to punish everyone, especially me, because of the damage my lies had caused. Yet I kept lying, stacking them up into a huge pile, until the sight of you, the thought of you, brought it all crashing down around my ears, and I could step through them, stop running away. And that's what I remembered, a strength. It was my talisman. I couldn't see you, had no concrete proof you really existed, but I knew you were there, just out of sight, around a corner, keeping me safe… Don't start crying again, aw Christian.."

Syed licked away the tear that had rolled down Christian's cheek.

"And then when I was told my Mum was coming to get me, I didn't understand, I was petrified that I had made you up, that I wasn't protected, that I couldn't be free, honest.. I thought I told you to stop that.."

Christian sniffed and pathetically wiped his eyes with the back of his hand.

"I should have stopped you, when you stormed out…"

Syed laughed.

"How could you? You never managed before, and goodness knows I'd had a lot of practise, all those hurtful things I've said…" He blinked at the memory, wishing he could unsay them.

"They don't matter now, all wiped out by the beautiful ones that have followed. I was a knob, just went out and got pissed and moany. And then, when I woke up, still half cut with my boots on, and you weren't here. I thought the world had ended Sy, I couldn't bear it.."

"Please, please, don't keep getting upset…"

"And if Zainab had followed out her plan, managed to get you away.."

Syed laid a finger on Christian's mouth, stopping him.

"Then you would have found me. And I would have fallen in love with you all over again, eternal sunshine of the spotless mind."

"What made you remember?"

Pursing his lips slightly, Syed wriggled under the bedclothes.

"Do I have to say?"

"Why, is it shameful? I was hoping it was a line from a song on the radio, or a delicious smell, ooh, or the sight of something massive and phallic…"

"Haaa! You wish. Actually, this sounds crap, but Matt started talking about hot chocolate…"

"Squirty cream! I knew it…"

"Stop it Christian. And I was there, with you, in the market, and we'd had that brilliant day, I'd never laughed that much before, felt so at ease with someone, felt so completely myself. I finally had to be honest with you…"

Christian raised his eyebrows contritely.

"Once I'd bullied you a bit."

"It didn't stop it being the truth. I love you Christian."

"I love you too.." Christian moved to kiss him, but Syed held him back with a firm hand against his chest.

"There's one slight problem.." He opened his eyes, wide with innocence.

"What?"

"I haven't quite remembered how to make love…" A guileless smile that twitched slightly at the corner.

"Does that mean I have to teach you?"

"Mmm.."

"Well first you have to help me get my clothes off…"

Syed pulled the shirt over Christian's head, then unzipped his jeans for him, helping him push them down until they dropped onto the floor.

"Done that, now what?"

"We get rid of this…" Christian pulled back the duvet cover, mouth watering as Syed's naked body was revealed.

"..And then I kiss you."

"Where?"

"Here.." Christian kissed him slowly, relishing the familiar taste of him.

" And here.."

He traced his tongue down Syed's neck,

"And here…"

Across his chest.

"And here…"

Along the trail of hair that led to his cock.

"And is it meant to have got that big? I see yours has too.." Syed asked politely, trying not to laugh and spoil the game.

Christian glanced up at him and grinned.

"They often do.."

"Oh, I see. You put it in your mouth. That's very pleasant, very pleasant indeed, thank you, most enjoyable, don't stop. Ah! And now, you're putting something wet on yours, and my legs go where? Up there? And that slips in there does it? Right in there…Oh fuck, fuck, Christian…"

"Is it all coming back to you now?"

"Yes, yes, oh fuck, yes, something is certainly going to be coming…"