(Don't throw tomatoes! Um….I think three chapters after this one. And yeh. NO tomatoes. Any words not spelled correctly are probably due to Don's inebriated state)
Casey half-carried half-dragged Donatello through the sewers. Who knew that a ninja turtle couldn't hold his alcohol? Casey had bought the first round, and Don nursed that drink the whole time they were there. It just seemed that despite the glass always being more than half-filled, Don still got more than a little half- tipsy. And the tipsy turtle could only mean one thing for Casey….he was in deep shit. He could just hear April's voice now, not to mention Splinter's, Leo's…hell maybe even Raph's. He could have taken Don to his own apartment, and trying to sober him up before going home, and if this had been Raph, he would have done that. The problem was that Don just got drunk on way too little alcohol. Casey was worried about alcohol poisoning or something.
The thing was, Casey didn't set out to get Don blasted. He could see that the turtle had been having a pretty rough day. Casey also knew that sometimes the best thing to do is just kick back and have some fun. One beer, one or two dancers and then they'd be gone.
It always seemed to help Raphael out. The darkness of the bar, the total unawareness of the other patrons just seemed to mellow the hot-headed turtle out. It was only after one of their more indulgent nights, when Raph confessed to Casey that being in the bar was probably the closest he'd ever come to knowing anything near intimacy with a woman. To Raphael, that cheap bar was the closest he could come to humanity.
"Casey…" Donatello's voice was just a little slurred, breaking into Casey's thoughts. He was speaking very carefully, trying to keep up the pretense of sobriety. Casey had tried to encourage Don to practice this very Raphael-like skill.
"Yeh, Don?" The human tried to nudge Don into walking a little faster. If there was a tidal wave of vomit coming, he'd much rather one of Don's own family deal with the situation.
"I been thinkin'. I really didn' thin' it was poss'ble for humans to BEND that way. Is that gen'tic or what?" The turtle's eyes were wide as he remembered the dancers and Casey couldn't help but notice how his friend lost a few syllables here and there.
Casey nodded. The best plan was to always humor the drunk. "Yeh, Don. There's a small farm out in Queens where they raise pole dancers."
Don's eyes widened even more and Casey could swear the turtle's pupils were ready to explode. "There IS?! Don't let Raph or Mike know." He muttered. "We'd hafta move ta Queens."
"Cross my heart, Don. I won't let it slip." Casey sighed pulling Donatello a little harder. "Come on, we gotta get you home."
Don pulled his arm free, and stumbled back from Casey, nearly falling. "UH uh. I am not ready to go..home." He swayed in place for a minute. "Whoa….RIGHT here. It's 'mazing."
Casey watched Don sway for a moment making sure his friend didn't take a header into the sewer water. "What's amazing, Don?"
Don shifted from one foot to the other. "Never knew it a'fore. RIGHT here, I can feel the rotation of the earth." He stumbled a bit. "And DAMN are we spinnin' fast."
"Right. Um…I bet you can feel the rotation better in the lair." Casey had no clue what Donatello was talking about, but if he could use it to his advantage he would.
Don looked up. "You think? Maybe if we stan' really close, I can feel the rotation and you can feel the rev…revol….the other spinning."
Casey shrugged. "Ya never know." He took Don's arm again. "Come on. And when we get to the lair, you let me do the talking ok?"
Don started walking or stumbling along beside Casey. "Why? I can talk jush fine. See? No prob'ems."
Casey sighed again. This was not turning out how he had pictured. "Don, you're a little bit drunk. I think Splinter will be a little bit upset. And the more you talk, the more upset he's gonna get. So, let me talk, ok?"
"Drunk? DRUNK! M'not drunk! THAT is a nas'y rumor started by all the thin's I have tripped over on my way here." Don giggled at the way too old joke, and just stared at Casey when the human heaved him up to stand against a wall.
Casey gave him a look. "Don't move." He put one hand against the turtle's chest, holding him into place.
Don blinked at him again. "Huh?"
Casey held up his other hand, palm out. "Stay." He left Don there and walked a foot or so to the right where he knew the lair entrance to be. It was probably best to try to prepare Splinter ahead of time for this.
Meanwhile, Don was scoffing at the order he'd been given. "Stay. Hmph. M'not a dog. Maybe I should pee on his shoes or somethin'."
Casey disabled the lock on the door and slid it open. He glanced around the main area of the mutants' lair. He wasn't sure what Splinter would be doing right about now. Maybe he was meditating on all of the great mysteries of the world. Casey was more than a little surprised to see the right sitting in front of the television watching a cage fight. What's more, the rat was also correcting the participants' moves. Out loud.
Splinter shook his head. "You are leaving yourself FAR too open to that subm.." He heard the door open, and thought for a moment that it was his students returning. But the lack of noise told him otherwise. He switched off the television and got to his feet.
"Mr. Jones. I must apologize about what happened earlier and I had hoped to explain the situation…" The rat trailed off seeing Casey's expression. Their human friend was not looking for apologies or explanations. "What is wrong?"
Casey scratched the back of his neck nervously. "Um, see, Donatello came by earlier this evening and…" He held up his hands, before Splinter could jump to the wrong conclusion. "He's FINE. He's right here with me. Thing is…"
From outside, Donatello heard Casey mention his name, and decided that his presence was now needed. He leaped over behind Casey, and fell into him, knocking them both to the ground. Don looked up at his sensei and grinned. "HONEY, I'm home! Heeeeeere's Donny!"
Casey groaned and pushed himself off the ground, lifting Don up to his feet. He faced Splinter, the sensei's face completely unreadable. "Splinter, I swear, I didn't….I mean…he wasn't supposed to get…He BARELY drank anything."
Don nodded to his sensei and held up all of his fingers. "I only had four." The turtle stared at his fingers. "No wait. That's six."
Splinter's eyes widened and then narrowed at Casey Jones.
Casey shook his head quickly. "NO. I swear. HE only had ONE glass."
Don laughed. "Yeh, One glass, but I had it filled…" He stared at his fingers again. "That many times."
Casey smacked his own forehead. THAT explained it. Damn these ninja. He tried to offer an apology and explanation to Splinter, but Don was still talking. Didn't Don remember the plan was NOT to talk?
Don walked closer to his stunned father. "Ya know what? I DID learn somethin' t'day. I learned it SUCKS to be Raph. SO what if he has a bad attitude. I mean…didja ever think there might be reason for it?" He pointed one finger at Splinter. "Didja ever think…" He shook his finger once, twice, and then, "What was I saying again…?"
Splinter exhaled closing his eyes. He counted to ten before opening them again. "Donatello, where are your brothers?"