AN: the music video for this song is where I got the reference for the cover image by doodleblah.
Song: 'Capsize' by Frenship feat. Emily Warren.
Avatar. The very word referred to the manifestation of a deity in this mortal dimension. He was like the filtered version of Reshiram manifested in this world, like some video game character, an insignificant gathering of pixels that could be deleted with the press of a few buttons. Insignificant. Not real.
At what point was he himself? What, after becoming Reshiram's vessel and being made anew, was he able to say that everything he had done was him and not the god of truth?
What was Hilbert? Who was Hilbert? Was he anything but a shell, a vessel for a greater power that used him as a filter? Was there nothing else that was special or significant about him?
Him being Champion, he had clung to tightly like a drowning man holds onto his salvation. It had always been his dream, to be a trainer, to be the very best like no one ever was. Realistically he knew that was impossible, knew there was always someone better, but still, to step into the Unovan Hall of Fame, watch the names of his team and his number be forever recorded and immortalized was a dream that he had made reality.
But was it really him?
Dawn blinked slowly. "One, I believe," she said, words deliberate. "I think – and please know that I have never met him myself, so don't quote me – Red became an Avatar after he became Champion."
"So," Hilbert said. She had tried to help, saying it calmly, but it was never the speed or tone of the words that was a problem, just their meaning and content and the way they took the air out of his lungs like a punch to the chest. "So. You, and Ethan Gold, and, and . . ."
"And May Maple of Hoenn," Dawn supplied the name.
Hilbert nodded, unable to say anything else. He gestured vaguely with his hands in a way that could have meant anything.
Dawn picked up his meaning. "We all became Avatars before we became Champions, yes."
So that was the truth that he had been trying so hard to not see. He really was nothing special, just a tool of Reshiram chosen to fight against the one chosen by Zekrom.
A sharp pain on his forehead snapped him out of his thoughts. Hilbert stared with wide eyes at Dawn, who had her pointer finger extended. Like she had flicked him. Without holding anything back.
"Ow?" It came out as a question, because the confusion was a bigger priority than the stinging sensation.
"I know what you're thinking," Dawn said, annoyance clear on her face. "So I'm going to tell you to stop it right now."
"What am I thinking?" he asked bitterly.
Dawn looked right back at him, matching his bitterness with something that he would have called sass, but more regal, like a Liepard looking down at an annoying Purrloin with fluid impatience.
"That you became Champion thanks to Reshiram, and not of your own strength," she said. "That you're nothing without being the Hero of Truth. That you might, perhaps, be less than nothing, because you are a fake, and you are the type of person who despises falsehoods and deceptions."
Hilbert laughed unhappily. "Don't make me sound like the ideal Hero of Truth," he said. He hadn't thought anything like that. He just could not live with the idea of standing on a throne he did not deserve, because fake things were as stable as a sandcastle and dissolved into a shapeless mess at the first wave that came in.
He was the Hero of Truth, and because of that very – truthful – status he was afraid that one day, the title of 'Champion' would be taken from him. That his name would be struck off the supposed-to-be forever records and be dragged through the mud.
N had once been king, a chosen hero, elevated so high – and the higher the rise, the harder the fall.
Hilbert was afraid of losing his wings of white feathers and blue flames one day and realizing too late that the fall was something he could not survive.
Dawn ignored him. "It's not common knowledge that I am the Avatar of Giratina," she said. "My meeting the Renegade was done privately. Well," she amended, frowning. "More private than yours. It's not exactly something known to the general public."
Yeah, he picked that up from the lack of anything relating to the Renegade on her Bulbapedia page. His page was locked to prevent arbitrary editing, just like hers, but there was no section under constant debate in an attempt to accurately inform the world about a connection to a god without speculating on unknown details.
"Arguably," she said. "My ascension as Champion of Sinnoh is far falser than yours. At least your people know that you have been chosen by Reshiram. But shall I let you know of a secret?"
Dawn leaned closer, so close that he could make out specks of darkness in her blue eyes.
"I don't care."