A/N: Some day, something interesting will happen. But for now, something that has absolutely nothing to do with the 'story' so far and is the product of a proverbial brain fart:
Rei's Revelation
It was a cold, bright morning in Tokyo-3, and the clocks were striking Thirteen. However, NERV was busy as always in its duty of defending the Earth from giant, biomechanical aliens.It functioned like a well-oiled machine; each branch worked in perfect harmony with the others. Suddenly, Rei stepped onto the bridge, to change all that.
"I am pregnant," she said, calm as always.
Instantly, chaos reigned.
Fuyutski keeled over, pounding his chest, screaming, "Start, damnit, start!"
Ritsuko opened her drawer, pulling out a pistol. "Oh god, I never thought that bastard Gendo would sink so low…" she said, pressing it to her head.
Shinji was blushing furiously, eyes on the floor.
Kaji patted Shinji on the shoulder, saying, "Wow, Shinji, I didn't know you had it in you!"
Asuka turned on Shinji, wrathful, screaming, "HOW COULD YOU, DAMNIT, HOW COULD YOU!"
"WHO'S THE FATHER!" demanded Misato.
Kaworu looked nervous and snuck off down a corridor.
"This," began Gendo, "was not in the scenario."