Chapter 21

A/N: Happy Friday! Sorry I forgot to put a warning about light OITNB spoilers last chapter. Also, just another friendly reminder that this story is not real, and while we try to make it as realistic as possible, some liberties must be taken so I don't go insane :-).

Music:

Dear Mr. President – P!nk

Beca shifted uncomfortably in her chair, her hip still sore from where Dr. Morris had performed the bone marrow aspiration and biopsy a few days ago. It was still painful despite the local anesthetic, and she'd ended up burrowing her face into the pillow, trying to focus on Chloe's voice whispering sweetly in her ear instead. They were currently waiting for the doctor to update them on her progress after the first three rounds of treatment, and Beca hoped he had good news.

She glanced over at Chloe, who was calmly looking back at her. Beca reached over and took her girlfriend's hand, giving her a hopeful smile. "I'm ready for some good news."

Chloe returned the smile and gave her hand a squeeze. "Me too, Bec."

Beca took a deep breath and leaned back a little in the chair, reaching up to tug her beanie down a little farther around her ears. She was going straight to her next round of treatment after they spoke with the doctor, and was feeling slightly impatient.

The door opened a few minutes later and Dr. Morris entered the room, giving them both a warm smile. "Hi ladies. How are we doing today?" He asked, moving to take a seat behind his desk.

"Peachy, doc," Beca quipped, sitting up straighter. "Can't you tell?"

He laughed, nodding in agreement. "Of course. You're looking quite energetic this morning, Beca. How are you doing, Chloe?"

Chloe's smile and tone was a little more reserved. "I'm fine, Dr. Morris. Ready to hear some good news."

His smile faltered for a second, before clicking a couple of times on his computer and flipping open a folder on his desk. "Well, unfortunately the results aren't as good as I'd hoped for," he started, studying the screen for a long moment.

Beca's heart dropped, wondering how much worse she'd gotten. She didn't know what they would do if the chemo wasn't working, and just the thought was causing her heart to beat furiously in her chest.

Dr. Morris glanced up and his eyes widened at their reactions. "Now hold on, don't go freaking out just yet. It's not what I'd hoped for, but it's not bad. There was always going to be a guaranteed drop in the results due to the chemotherapy killing healthy cells as well as cancerous ones. It's not so significant that I want to change your course of treatment, so that's good. We'll give it another three months and re-evaluate again."

Beca nodded, chancing a look over at Chloe. Her girlfriend was stoic, her expression not giving Beca any insight into what she was thinking or feeling.

Dr. Morris continued, "Now, your CBC is showing some improvement, which is why I'm not ready to alter your treatment. Your red blood cell count has actually increased, which is extremely encouraging."

"Why do I feel terrible then?" Beca asked.

"It's most likely the side effects of the treatment," Dr. Morris answered, meeting her gaze. "Unfortunately, while your white blood cell count has dropped, it's still incredibly high."

"What does that mean?" Beca interrupted, looking at him curiously.

Dr. Morris answered, "It most likely means that your bone marrow is still producing cancerous white blood cells at a high rate, so they probably aren't developed to maturity. That problem is magnified, because if they're immature they're not effective against fighting off disease and they're also taking up space that could be occupied by healthy cells."

Chloe spoke up, asking, "Is there any way to target the cancerous cells better?"

"If we could locate a concentrated area of them, we could use targeted radiation therapy," he answered. "But I'd rather not take that step at this time. I still feel confident that continuing on Beca's current treatment plan is the best option. If after another three cycles we're still at this point, we can look into other options."

Beca remained silent for a minute, before nodding in agreement. "Okay, doc. So I'm not getting better, but I'm not really getting worse either?"

"Technically?"

"No, hypothetically," Beca retorted, though she was smiling again.

Dr. Morris smiled back, answering, "Technically, you're slightly worse than when we started treatment. But from our past discussions you seem to be managing the treatment and side effects reasonably well, and I have no reason to believe we won't see your CBC results take a positive swing over the next few months."

"I'll take it," Beca replied, standing up and shaking his hand. "Thanks for everything," she added sincerely.

Chloe stood too, slipping her arm around Beca's waist. "Yes, thank you so much Dr. Morris."

He stood up, giving them both another smile. "Stay positive, ladies. Beca, you're doing extremely well, even if it doesn't always feel like it."

Beca nodded, turning and leading the way out of his office to make the trek to the other side of the hospital to start the next treatment cycle.

"Knock knock!"

Beca grinned as Blake shuffled into her treatment room, pushing an IV stand slightly ahead of her. "Hey stranger."

"Well, aren't you people a sight for sore eyes," Blake said cheerfully. "Hey Chloe."

Chloe smiled and immediately stood up to give her a quick hug, careful to avoid her IV lines. "Hey! Here, have a seat," she said, gesturing to the second empty chair. "We had them bring in another when Beca got your text."

Blake nodded appreciatively, collapsing into the chair and allowing Chloe to maneuver the IV stand so it was out of the way. "Thanks. The walk over here was harder than I thought."

Beca frowned in concern, looking over her friend. "You okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, it's fine," Blake waved it away as her breathing steadied. "The doc seems to think I'm getting worse, but that's nothing new."

"Join the club," Beca said, winking at her. "My doc said the same thing, but then added how it was all expected and that he's confident things will look better soon."

Blake chuckled, saying, "They're really good at putting a positive spin on it, aren't they? Anyways, I came here to get away from the depressing people. What's new with you guys?"

"Well, since you asked," Beca said slyly, shooting a daring look at Chloe. "I'm getting ready for an album listening party next week. Just getting all chemo'd up so I'm ready to go, you know?"

"Beca..." Chloe trailed off, shaking her head.

Beca sighed, "Chlo, we talked about this. It's a small thing at the studio with just the people who worked on the album, and I'm fucking going. It'll be fine."

Chloe gave her a hard look, before turning to Blake. "I don't think it's a good idea with how compromised her system is right now," she explained, seeming a little justified when Blake nodded.

"I mean, she's gotta point there Becs," Blake said with a shrug. "But that party sounds sick. This is your album with P!nk?"

Beca grinned, answering, "Yep. And I fucking worked my ass off on it, and I'm gonna be there to celebrate. It'll be fine. Want to come?"

Blake's eyebrows rose, as if she didn't believe Beca was actually extending the offer. "Dude, don't joke like that. It's mean."

"I wasn't joking. You should come. You live around here, right? We're staying in town through next week, so we should hang out either way," Beca replied.

"Yeah, definitely," Blake agreed. "I still haven't met Zeus! I mean, if that's okay with you, Chloe. Don't want to intrude."

Chloe smiled at her, answering, "I'm sure he'd love a new friend. And you're welcome anytime. How many of your siblings still live at home?"

Blake sighed, "Two, not including me. My older brother just graduated from college this past spring, and my two younger brothers are in high school."

"I feel your pain," Chloe said sympathetically. "I grew up with four older brothers."

"And yet, you're still a sane, functioning adult," Blake said with a grin. "Good to know there's hope for me yet."

Chloe winked at her. "It's possible to survive, though I never had to deal with younger brothers. I just had to accept that I wouldn't be dating until they were all off to college."

Beca laughed at that, asking, "Seriously? Were they that bad? They seem okay to me."

"Said like a true only child," Blake quipped, putting a comforting hand on Chloe's arm. "She doesn't know our pain."

"Oh, fuck off," Beca said with a laugh. "You make it sound like it was so terrible to have siblings."

It was Chloe's turn, jumping in to say, "Just the dating part... and being all up in your business part. You wouldn't know anything about that since you had the freedom to sneak around with anyone you wanted without fear of someone ratting you out or beating them up."

Blake just nodded solemnly, completely siding with Chloe. "The older ones get more violent, but the younger ones kill them with irritation," she said, as if imparting some great wisdom.

Chloe hummed in agreement, adding, "Forgot about that part."

"Okay, okay, your brothers ruined your lives for a few short years," Beca quipped, still with an air of unbelief. "Cry me a river. Now you have a great relationship with your brothers," she pointed out, addressing Chloe.

"True," Chloe admitted with a smile. "Crazy idiots, all of them, but very loveable."

Blake shook her head. "I'll let you know when I've reached that point of acceptance. Still got a little ways to go in our house. Anyways, I talk to Beca all the time, what's new with you, Chloe? She's not being a dick, right? I'll beat her up for you, just say the word."

Chloe chuckled and shook her head. "She's moody, but that's a Beca thing, not a cancer thing."

"Love you too," Beca interrupted, her tone thick with sarcasm.

Chloe ignored her and continued, "Other than that, I'm just preparing for the school year. I've got three sections of freshman Bio and three AP sections. That kept me busy enough last year, and that was without dealing with all these," she said, gesturing at Beca.

"Did they want you to take on more students?" Beca asked, suddenly concerned.

Chloe hesitated, finally answering, "It was brought up, but ultimately everything is staying the same as last year."

"Well, what was the conversation?" Beca pressed, sitting forward in her chair. "Did they want you to trade out for another AP section? Obviously everyone realizes you're an incredible teacher, so I'm not surprised. What'd Dr. Williams say?"

"Beca, it's not important, okay?" Chloe replied, before swiftly changing the subject. "How're things with your girlfriend, Blake?"

Beca frowned at Chloe, but the redhead wouldn't meet her eyes. She decided to drop it for now, wondering if maybe Chloe didn't want to talk about it in front of Blake, and instead turned to her friend to hear her answer.

"Hailey's good," Blake said with a smile. "She, uh, she just told me she got accepted for this study abroad thing in the fall in Rome. She actually leaves in a week, so that part kinda sucks."

Beca turned her frown Blake's way, asking, "Wait, she just told you? When did she find out?"

"Yeah, a while ago. I told her it was shady to keep it from me. She said she felt bad since I obviously couldn't go with her, and didn't want to throw it in my face," Blake explained, not looking totally convinced. "It's whatever... I'm used to missing out on things by now. Just part of the deal, you know? I wouldn't ever want to hold her back, and this will be amazing for her."

Beca turned an accusatory stare on Chloe, crossing her arms over her chest. "See? Now will you RSVP to your brother's wedding? I want you to go!"

Chloe's expression turned, irritated, replying, "Beca, I don't want to talk about that right now."

"Come on, Chlo. I don't want you to miss out on that kinda stuff because of me. You should be there celebrating with your family," Beca insisted, not giving up so easily.

Chloe just shook her head, keeping her mouth sealed shut. "I'm gonna go get some coffee. Want anything?"

Beca sighed in defeat as they both shook their heads, saying, "Okay, fine. We'll talk about it later." She turned back to Blake as Chloe left the room, asking, "Is she coming to visit before she leaves?"

Blake nodded, her lips twisting into a grin. "Yeah, she's coming to spend the weekend and a few days next week with me before she leaves. Gonna be an epic visit full of hand-holding, movie watching, and some of the most PG relationship shit you've ever seen," she said with a wink.

"Sounds really familiar," Beca shot back, breaking into a laugh.

There was a moment of silence between them, before Blake asked, "Hey, uh, sorry if I'm overstepping, but are you two okay?"

Beca frowned, taking a deep breath before answering. "Well... I don't know. I mean, I want to say yes, but it's been different lately. We don't talk as much... part of that's my fault. She's so worried about me all the time that I've held back a bit, to try and not seem like this is the shitstorm it is. I mean, you know... it's fucking horrible, but maybe Chloe doesn't have to think that."

Blake shook her head, replying immediately, "Dude, that's stupid. No matter how you try to justify it, you're shutting her out."

"Maybe a little, but it's only so she stops worrying so much!" Beca argued. "She's not sleeping, and I don't know... she's too worried about taking care of me and she's not taking good enough care of herself."

"Why don't you just tell her that," Blake suggested, the simplicity of it catching Beca off guard.

Beca shook her head after a moment, answering, "She'd just tell me she's fine, and that I shouldn't worry about her."

Blake grinned, clearly enjoying this conversation. "So you're a mind reader now? Or you can see the future?"

"Oh, fuck you. How would you know anyway?" Beca shot back, though she wasn't angry.

"You forget, I've been fighting this a lot longer than you have," Blake said, not bothered at all by the snippy retort. "My mom did the same thing until my dad and I finally sat her down and told her she needed to stop. She wasn't sleeping, barely eating... she was making herself sick and I was the one with cancer."

Beca sighed, digesting that information. "It's different... that was your mom, and Chloe's my girlfriend. And anyways, you saw her earlier. It's not like she's this open book of information either. She's holding stuff back and not talking to me either."

Blake hummed thoughtfully. "Yeah, that whole communication thing is a two way street, and a total relationship killer. You better figure that shit out."

"That's what you've got for me? Figure that shit out?" Beca grinned, her tone incredulous.

"Yeah," Blake said with a laugh. "I'm not Oprah. Or Dr. Phil. My girlfriend is about to flee the country for an entire semester, so clearly I should be much lower on your list for relationship advice."

"Come on, that's not what she's doing," Beca answered with a shake of her head. "It's not like that, is it?"

Blake shrugged. "Look, Hailey and I aren't you and Chloe. I'd already been diagnosed, and we'd been dating for a month before I told her about the cancer. I gave her an out, but she stuck around. It was good at first, you know, but we haven't really been a couple for a long time... not like a real couple anyways."

Beca nodded her understanding, knowing how difficult it was when almost all physical affection was off the table. "Yeah, I know what you mean. Chloe won't talk about it, obviously, but I know she misses it. I do. Were you guys ever able to?"

"Yeah, in the beginning," Blake answered. "They caught my cancer early, and my treatment plan was much less aggressive. But it didn't work, and I got worse, and well, here I am."

"That sucks, dude," Beca said. "God... fuck cancer!"

Blake gave her a weak smile. "I want her to go, though. It'd be worse if I held her back. I... well, let's just say my outlook isn't improving."

"Not with that lame-ass attitude," Beca retorted under her breath, despite the resigned tone in her friend's voice.

"I'm serious, dude. They've switched my treatment plan multiple times because I stopped responding to the drugs," Blake admitted. "At some point you kinda accept that maybe you won't win... and you gotta figure out how to come to terms with that."

Beca stared at her, asking, "How do you become okay with that?"

Blake paused, glancing at the door before meeting Beca's eyes. "No fucking idea."

"Chloe! Come on! You look gorgeous and if we don't leave in the next five minutes we're going to be whatever comes after fashionably late!"

Beca glanced irritably at Zeus, who stood patiently next to her by the door.

"One more minute!" Chloe called from somewhere deep in their bedroom, possibly the bathroom.

Beca sighed, moving over to sit down on the couch, patting Zeus when he strolled over within reach. A few minutes later she huffed again, wondering if this was Chloe's plan to keep her from going. Despite her best efforts, they'd barely discussed attending the listening party, and she was sure that Chloe would rather they stay home.

Chloe rushed out from the bedroom of their rental house just in time for someone to knock on the door. Beca raised an eyebrow at her, glancing between her girlfriend and the door. Chloe brushed past her with a wink, opening the door to reveal none other than Isaac.

Beca's jaw dropped as Zeus barked and jumped up to greet the man. "Isaac? What are you doing here?"

Isaac greeted Zeus, laughing as the dog continued to freak out for another minute.

Chloe let him inside and closed the door behind him, saying, "I was stalling until he got here. Sorry, baby. I'll let him give you the news."

"What news?" Beca asked curiously, as Zeus finally left him alone long enough to give her a brief hug.

Isaac smiled at her, saying, "The news that we just moved to California!"

Beca's jaw dropped again for the second time in as many minutes, looking between the two of them. "What? How? When did you..." She trailed off, completely at a loss for words.

Isaac filled in smoothly, "We were ready for a change, and my wife actually has family outside of L.A. The girls got excited about the idea of moving here when we mentioned it, and decided it was the right time to make a change. I also knew that Chloe would be going back to work soon and you cannot drive yourself, and after much persuasion she admitted it would be helpful for me to be closer."

Beca was desperately trying to process the information being thrown at her, and ultimately was left with an overwhelming feeling of relief and appreciation for the man who'd been by her side for a majority of her career. She hugged him again, barely keeping the tears at bay.

"Thank you," she whispered, not trusting herself to say anything else.

"No problem, DJ. I missed you, anyways," he said, hugging her back. "But only a little."

Beca chuckled, pulling back to look up at him. "Yeah, alright. Don't get too emotional on me."

Isaac winked at her, before asking, "So, you ready to go to the studio?"

Beca turned to Chloe, asking, "Ready, babe?"

"Ready," Chloe answered. "Do we need to pick Blake up?"

Beca shook her head, her face briefly turning sad. "No, she said she's not feeling up to it. Hailey's with her, so at least she's not alone. I'll call her later."

Isaac looked at them curiously as they left the house, Beca explaining about Blake as they got into the car and backed out of the driveway.

Beca walked up to the back entrance of the studio, pausing as Isaac swung the door open for them. She stepped inside and lead Chloe through the building to the lounge area that was already occupied with people milling around. She hesitated a moment before entering, reaching up to gently run her fingers through her hair and making sure the wig was still snugly in place.

Chloe leaned forward and kissed her cheek from behind. "You look beautiful, Bec," she whispered, slipping her arms around her waist in a quick hug.

Beca nodded, forcing a smile as she walked into the room. Joey spotted her first, grinning ear to ear as he jumped up and hugged her. "Beca! We weren't sure if you were gonna make it, but I'm glad you did. Wouldn't be the same without you."

"Thanks Joey," Beca replied, hugging him back. "Couldn't miss listening to my first produced album. Is Alecia here yet?"

Joey shook his head as more people started crowding around them. Beca was suddenly swept up in a tidal wave of people greeting her, asking her how she was feeling, and telling her how amazing she looked. It was overwhelming and exhausting all at once, and by the time she finished saying hello and introducing Chloe, all Beca wanted to do was take the longest nap ever. Chloe's face was concerned, but she gave her a smile, not wanting her to worry.

They grabbed some food and a couple of drinks and found a seat on one of the couches just in time for Alecia to arrive with her family. Beca grinned at their excited faces, having met Carey and her kids before. They eventually made their way over to where she was sitting to say hello, and Beca finally introduced Chloe.

"Chloe! I feel like I know you way better than just having met you once... this one talks about you all the time," Alecia said, gesturing at Beca, as Carey nodded before taking the kids to get something to eat.

Chloe was a little starstruck, but returned the woman's bright smile. "All good things, I hope."

"Of course," Alecia winked, turning to Beca. "How're you feeling? I'm glad you're here. It wouldn't be the same without the genius behind the album."

Beca shook her head, answering, "I think you're the genius behind this album, but thanks. I'm feeling good."

Alecia raised an eyebrow, glancing at Chloe. "You sure? You kinda don't look so good, Bec."

Beca brushed it aside, insisting she was fine. Alecia shrugged, but Carey called her over to help with the kids before she could say anything more. One look at Chloe let her know the matter was far from resolved, and she could feel the irritation bubbling up inside her.

"Chlo, drop it. I'm fine," Beca murmured, her voice low and serious. It really wasn't that bad, she just felt a little tired. Thankfully, she wasn't in much pain, and was really looking forward to enjoying herself at the party and feeling normal again.

They were about halfway through the album, the sound of the tracks mixing well with the happy chatter circulating around the room. Beca was leaning comfortably into Chloe's side, listening as Joey explained some of the process to Chloe. She grinned at the fascinated look on her girlfriend's face, loving how quickly Chloe was picking up on some of the things he was talking about.

The music paused and Alecia appeared at her side, whispering in her ear, "Feeling up to a live performance?"

Beca hummed thoughtfully, flexing her hands a couple of times. "Yeah, I think we could make that work," she grinned. "What song?"

"Well, if you're feeling up to it," Alecia began, "I was thinking we could do Dear Mr. Pres, just the two of us and a guitar... and maybe stream it live? If you want..."

Beca laughed at the hopeful look on her face, slowly standing up from the couch. "Yeah, alright then. Let's do it."

A few minutes later the pair of them were perched on a couple of stools, with Beca taking a moment or two longer to get comfortable with the new guitar she was currently holding. After a moment, she nodded at Alecia to let her know she was ready.

Alecia turned forward and addressed the small group, at least one of whom was streaming their little session live.

"Hi everyone! We're coming to you live from the listening party for my new album! I'm here with my kickass producer Beca Mitchell, and we're gonna give you a little preview of what we've been working on. This one's called Dear Mr. President."

Beca smiled and gave a brief wave before starting to play the intro, breaking into a grin at the lack of pain in her hands. She'd been nervous, knowing it had been a while since she played any instrument, but relaxed into the performance and grew more confident as Alecia started to sing.

Dear Mr. President

Come take a walk with me

Let's pretend we're just two people and

You're not better than me

I'd like to ask you some questions

If we can speak honestly

What do you feel when you see all the homeless on the street?

Who do you pray for at night before you go to sleep?

What do you feel when you look in the mirror?

Are you proud?

Beca took a nervous breath, steeling herself before joining in singing backup in the chorus.

How do you sleep while the rest of us cry?

How do you dream when a mother has no chance to say goodbye?

How do you walk with your head held high?

Can you even look me in the eye?

And tell me why?

They kept it soft and slow and emotional, with Beca smiling back at the look Chloe was giving her. It was one of surprise and amazement, and there was a depth of feeling she couldn't quite place. Beca glanced around at the audience, fighting back a laugh at some of the expressions. They'd known this song was daring, but had agreed that there was a need to draw attention away from petty politics and try to turn the focus back to where it belonged... on the people who were struggling every day fighting for freedom and equal rights and holding those accountable who had the power to change things for the better.

Beca knew Alecia had picked this song intentionally to perform today, and fully supported her choice. She still remembered Alecia pitching the idea for the song on their first day together, sitting in a room together and feeling the passion with which the woman spoke about the issues and her frustrations. It was captivating and contagious, and Beca was on board within minutes, wanting to write a powerful song that they could only hope affected the change that was so desperately needed.

She continued playing the song, becoming mesmerized at the emotion that Alecia was able to convey with her voice and body language. It had happened while they were recording it as well, but it never failed to hit Beca just as hard each time.

As they neared the end, Beca felt a familiar tingling sweep from her fingertips up her hands to her wrists. She was already tired, and wasn't sure she could handle the burning pain that was almost sure to follow. Making things worse, they were being filmed and broadcasting live on some site, possibly Facebook, and the last thing she wanted was to take the spotlight off Alecia and the incredible song they wrote together. Just once she wanted to have a normal moment and enjoy the results of all their hard work.

Beca clenched her teeth together, lips forming a tight smile as she watched Alecia sing the last few lines. She let out a slow breath after strumming the last notes, shooting the woman a relieved smile as the room let out a loud cheer.

"Hope you guys liked that sneak peak off my new album! Thanks for watching and don't forget to grab a copy! It drops August 10th!"

Beca wasn't sure if they'd stopped filming them or not, but a burning sensation in her hands caused her to wince and drop the guitar, letting it hang around her shoulder by the strap. She suddenly felt lightheaded and unbalanced on the stool, closing her eyes for a second as she tried to regain control.

Chloe's voice sounded through the haze, her tone soft but worried. "Bec? Beca, are you okay? Look at me, baby."

Beca opened her eyes to see Chloe nervously looking back at her. "I'm just a little tired, Chlo... and my hands..." She mumbled, not finishing her thought.

Chloe must have known, though, because suddenly Isaac was there helping remove the guitar from around her neck. "We're going back to the house Bec," Chloe said. "You should be in bed."

"No," Beca said, taking another minute before sitting up straighter on the stool. "I'm okay, I just need a second."

Chloe's eyes flashed, her voice dropping dangerously. "It wasn't a suggestion, Beca. Can you even stand up right now?"

"I don't have to," Beca countered, gesturing to the couch. "All I have to do is sit and listen to the rest of the album.

Alecia finally turned their way, not registering the tension between the two women. "That was awesome! You should see some of these comments, Beca."

Beca grinned and took a deep breath, turning on the stool to look at the phone alongside Alecia as she read some of the comments out loud. Chloe just shook her head, muttering something under her breath as she left them alone. Beca looked up to watch her walk over to grab another drink, frowning as she thought about their brief exchange. She knew Chloe was upset with her, but she was also tired of being treated like she was about to break. Just once Beca wanted to have a normal day where her life didn't revolve around cancer, but instead focused on the happiness she felt at the fact her first album as a producer sounded amazing.

Alecia left a few minutes later to do some press, and Beca returned to the couch to sit beside Joey.

"What's up with you and Chloe? Things looked a little tense earlier," he mumbled, shooting her a look.

Beca shook her head, answering, "She's overreacting. I had a thing there for a second, but I'm fine. I just want to be a music producer for one fucking day, and not have everything be about cancer. Is that really so much to ask?"

Joey shrugged, taking a sip of his beer. "No, I don't think so, but..." He trailed off when Beca's eyes narrowed. "Look, all I'm saying is it's not realistic to just pretend you aren't sick. You'll end up killing yourself that way. Is that what you want?"

"I don't need this shit from you too, okay?" Beca snapped, standing up. "I'm well aware of the fact I'm sick. Don't let this wig fool you. I'm reminded of it every time I look in the fucking mirror," she said, walking away before he could respond.

Beca weaved through the room until she escaped out of the door, navigating through the studio until she pushed through the front door and stepped out into the hot summer evening. She turned down the street, letting her anger and frustration out in the form of muttered curses under her breath. It took two blocks before she became short of breath, stopping to lean against the side of a building and placed her hands on top of her head, eyes closed.

A buzzing in her pocket had her fumbling for her phone, pulling it out only to ignore the call. The exhaustion of the day was really hitting her, and she sank slowly down to the ground when standing became too hard. Her phone buzzed again, and she saw Chloe's name on the caller ID. Beca let it ring, not in the mood for Chloe to yell at her for disappearing, or hear the worry in her voice that was sure to accompany it. Her girlfriend kept calling though, and after the third time Beca answered, steeling herself for the response.

"Beca? Where are you?"

She immediately felt guilty at the clear panic in Chloe's tone. Sighing, Beca leaned her head back against the wall, answering, "I went for a walk. I just needed to get away, Chlo."

She could hear Chloe take a deep breath, before her girlfriend asked, "Where are you, baby? Are you okay?"

Beca nodded, "Yeah, I'm fine. I'm a few blocks down from the studio, but I'll walk back now."

"Do you need Isaac to come pick you up?"

"No, I'm fine!" Beca said, raising her voice louder than she intended, drawing the attention of a few people walking by. "I'm fine. I'll see you soon."

She hung up, not waiting for Chloe to respond, and got to her feet. Ignoring the curious looks she was getting, Beca started slowly walking back to the studio. She knew Chloe and Isaac would be waiting for her, and took her time on the return journey to enjoy the solitude a little longer.

Chloe spotted her first, walking quickly up to her and wrapping her in a tight hug. "God, Beca don't do that! You scared the shit outta me!"

Beca pushed her back, meeting her gaze. "I'm an adult, Chloe. I'm allowed to go for a walk. Let's just... go back to the house."

The ride back was silent, save for the light music coming from the radio. Beca tiredly got out of the car and followed Chloe into the house, grinning as Zeus greeted them happily. Isaac made sure they were alright before leaving them alone for the rest of the evening.

Chloe stared at her for a minute, before saying, "Are you fucking kidding me? You just walk out of that party when you're so obviously not feeling well? You can't just do that, Beca! Do you have any idea how worried I was?"

Beca shook her head, all the irritation and frustration boiling over at her girlfriend's words. "Yes, I can actually! I felt like going for a walk so I left! I needed to not be there for a minute. I needed to be alone! What's the big deal?!"

Chloe's eyes widened in surprise. "Seriously?! You could have collapsed! You could have..."

"I'm fine!" Beca shouted, interrupting her. "I'm fucking f..."

"If you say you're fine one more time I'm going to slap you," Chloe threatened, her hands clenched into fists. "You're not fine!"

"Yes, I am," Beca shot back, adrenaline coursing through her. "I just wanted one night to be about something other than the fact I have cancer. Why is that so wrong?"

Chloe sighed, "It's not, but you can't just ignore that you do have cancer, Bec. You're sick, you're not fine, and it's not okay."

"Gee, thanks for that," Beca snapped. "Why don't you articulate better just how fucking sick I am! I'm sure there are still a few ways you haven't managed to say it."

"You can't... you can't just keep acting like this isn't happening!" Chloe argued, her voice rising to match the brunette's.

"Oh, don't worry, I'm well aware it's happening," Beca retorted sarcastically. "Kinda hard to miss the fact that I'm dying, Chloe."

"You're not dying," Chloe's voice turned exasperated. "Don't say things like that. You're not dying."

Beca shrugged, knowing it was true. "Why not? You heard the doc. I'm not getting better, which means I'm still dying. And the chemo is only killing me faster."

"No," Chloe shook her head, determined. "That's not what he said. Don't twist his words and take them out of context. Please, Bec, talk to me! And not just to say shit like that... that you know will piss me off."

"You don't want to hear what I have to say," Beca answered, turning and walking away.

Chloe shouted after her, "Don't walk away from me, Beca Mitchell. Of course I want to hear what you have to say."

Beca spun around, her eyes narrowing at Chloe. "I am more than cancer," she said quietly, as they both stood looking at each other in the momentary silence.

"I know that," Chloe replied, though her expression was hesitant.

Beca didn't respond right away, studying her girlfriend for a long moment. "Do you?"

Beca opened her eyes, looking around at the familiar sight that was their bedroom. She glanced at Chloe's side of the bed, slightly wrinkled from where Zeus had rolled and shifted in his sleep, but otherwise still made. She rubbed her hands up over her eyes before resting them on the top of her head, trying to figure out what the hell happened to them.

She and Chloe had barely spoken since the fight last week, and it was clear to Beca that what had maybe started as a small shift was now a giant chasm. She'd also been forced to accept that Chloe had been right about her over-doing it at the listening party, and had spent the majority of the past few days exhausted and weak and tired. Being back at home in their bed helped, but Chloe was still pissed off at her and was keeping her distance. Which apparently included either sleeping on the couch or in the guest room.

Beca took a slow breath, deciding it was her turn to make the effort and try to apologize. She crawled out of bed, putting on her robe and slippers as the cool air hit her skin, avoiding looking in the mirror as she brushed her teeth. The reflection looking back at her wasn't something she wanted to see, all skin and bones and... sick. Of all the things she was avoiding lately, this was the one that she could put off addressing with the least repercussions.

Shuffling out into the main room, she found Chloe sitting at the bar with a cup of coffee reading something on her phone. Beca moved slowly into the kitchen, knowing she was in deep when Chloe barely glanced at her, which only magnified her surprise when her girlfriend spoke unprompted.

"Need some help?"

Beca stiffened at her tone, almost like Chloe was offering out of obligation instead of actually wanting to help.

"No, I'm good," Beca answered, hating how weak her voice sounded.

Chloe sighed and put her phone down, rising off the tall chair and circling around the counter. "Are you hungry?"

Beca frowned, repeating herself, "I said I'm good."

Chloe's eyes narrowed. "Fine," she said in a clipped tone, moving back around the bar to grab her phone. "I'll be in the office."

Beca closed her eyes, knowing that she'd done the exact opposite of apologize. "Chlo?"

Chloe stopped, turning around with an exasperated look on her face. "What, Beca? What could I have possibly done wrong this time?"

Beca's heart dropped, wondering once more how they'd arrived at this point. Chloe used to look at her with love and hope and happiness, her beaming smile always sending a shot of warmth through her body, but now all she could see was hesitation and frustration and hurt.

"I'm sorry," Beca breathed, moving out of the kitchen toward her girlfriend. "I'm so sorry."

Chloe's posture relaxed a little and Beca felt a little boost of hope, before Chloe's next words smashed it to pieces.

"I don't know how much longer I can do this, Beca."

Beca froze, looking at the pained expression on Chloe's face. She would have believed it if someone told her that her heart stopped beating for a second. Yeah, things weren't great between them, but Beca hadn't realized just how serious the situation was.

"Chlo..."

Chloe shook her head, opening her mouth only to be cut off by her phone ringing. Beca's eyes pleaded with her not to answer it, but she did after a quick glance at the caller ID. Beca waited impatiently, growing more and more concerned at the way Chloe's expression changed instantly.

"What? Yeah, of course... of course I'll tell her. Yes, we'll be there. Let me know if there's anything we can do. I'm so sorry…okay, goodbye."

Beca swallowed nervously, asking, "What's going on?"

She caught a glimpse of tears falling down Chloe's cheeks a second before the redhead wrapped her in a tight hug. Beca's heart was beating uncontrollably, wrapping her arms around her girlfriend and relishing in the close contact that had been non-existent in their relationship for a while.

"Chlo, what happened?"

A/N: As always, a massive thank you to my beta Arsto! Teamwork makes the dream work! :-P

Hang in there guys! Trust me, it's way harder for me to write than it is for you to read it haha.

Thank you to everyone who hasn't given up on this story!