Chapter 20

I couldn't believe that I was left with this choice. Marcus told me to think it over and within the next couple days let him know my answer. One of the conditions was that I couldn't breathe a word about this to anyone. Now even my mom. Marcus also promised that John would get off with a warning, he knew my story was complete bullshit, but he said John would't be punished for his involvement. I didn't know what to do. Could I stay here without ever seeing him again? Not knowing how he's doing? Not knowing how our people are?

I locked myself in my room the next two days, I didn't want to speak to anyone. I felt bad because everyone thought I was mad at them. And Emori being as emotional as she is, she thought she had done something wrong again. I needed to really think about what my next move was going to be. I could either leave here without Bellamy and go back to our home not knowing if Bellamy is alive or dead or I could agree to Colonel Kane's proposition and at least guarantee that Bellamy could get out of here safe. I would be stuck, and I'd never get to see him again, but he's be safe.

I don't know why I took the extra time. I knew the moment he gave me the option to save Bellamy's life I was going to take it. But the hard part was to come. I had to convince Bellamy that I wanted him to leave, then and only then would he be allowed to. He needed to think I wanted nothing to do with him anymore. He couldn't be attached to me when he left this place because if he was then there was a good chance that he'd come back.

Before I went to see Marcus I already had the plan in motion. I got it out that I had been seeing John. Since there were already people who saw us together, it was the best I had to go with. I hoped he would play along and at least with him I wouldn't have to worry about him trying to take advantage of me.

Marcus never told me how he wanted to meet so I took initiative and went back to the other side of the base. The side I knew he would be. The moment the guards swarmed me I told them "I need to speak with Colonel Kane."

"Has he asked for you?" One of the guards asked.

"Just tell him Clarke Griffin would like to see him. He won't refuse." I knew I sounded bitchy, but I needed them to get him.

One of them walked about 20 feet from us and I could hear him say something on his walkie but couldn't make out the words. When he came back he told me to follow him, the other guards scattered off back to wherever they came from leaving just me and the guard that had spoken with Marcus.

Our walk was silent. He didn't even attempt to make this less awkward. I couldn't help but let out a sigh of relief when I saw Marcus walking toward us.

"Hello Miss Griffin." He greeted me professionally.

"Colonel Kane." I gave a hello head nod.

"Please follow me." He said as he turned around.

I did just as I was told, I figured we were going someone to talk privately.

I was surprised when we went to what looked like his actual quarters. He opened the door letting me enter first.

"Figured this would be the best place to talk." He said as he closed the door behind him.

"I'll stay." I blurted out before he even reached me.

"Are you sure you can convince him to leave without returning?" Marcus said in a serious tone.

"It may take a little bit, but I think I can." I sighed "but firstly you need to let me openly see him."

"Why would I…."

I interrupted him "the only way I'd willingly stay here is if I'm happy. You keeping me from Bellamy would not make me happy."

"Ok." He seemed to be processing that information. "What else?"

"For right now that's all." I looked down at the ground "eventually I'll need you to have some of your men be gossips. They will make sure Bellamy hears about John and I spending a lot of time together."

He nodded and by looking at his face he was seeming to understand where I was going with it all.

"Now this won't be overnight. It'll never work that way. It'll take time." I took a deep breath "at first I'll just go in there so happy to see him. We'll more than likely talk about trying to break him out. I'll start by seeing him a couple times a day. Telling him everything that I did that day. Then gradually it'll only be once a day then every couple days."

"You're going to crush him, aren't you?" Marcus asked and seemed partially sad at his comment.

"There's no other way. Eventually I'll tell him that I had been thinking about staying. He'll ask about John I'll deny it at first. But then I'll end up admitting that I'm starting to have feelings for him." I had to keep myself from breaking down.

"Well it seems like you have this pretty planned out. If you need anything else from me. Let me know." He showed me to the door.

"Can we start right now? Will you take me to see him?" I figured the sooner we started this the better and I needed to see him after last night.

"Let's go."

Once we got to lockup he told each and every guard that I would under no circumstance be denied access to see Bellamy. The guards obviously didn't know how to take the news but they all agreed. Of course, they would, what else could they do.

Marcus walked into lockup with me, at first, I didn't understand until we stopped at Bellamy's cell.

"What are you doing here?" Bellamy asked looking between the both of us.

"I wanted to apologize about last night. We just don't take to kindly to break-ins." He said looking my way "I spoke with Clarke earlier yesterday and told her that I was going to get her in to see you and instead of waiting she decided to do it herself."

"Sorry."

"After speaking very thoroughly with my boss and with her mom of course, we've decided there is no reason to keep her from seeing you. As long as she wants to come and see you she is more than welcome to." Colonel Kane said looking directly at Bellamy. Then he looked back at me "now we will have hours Clarke, let's try not to make the visits in the middle of the night. Let's say before 10PM?"

"I can do that." I agreed with him.

"Now there will always be a guard right around the corner. So, don't try anything stupid." I couldn't help but notice that seemed to be directed to me.

I watched as he walked away and the moment he was out of view I was right next to the bars wanting to feel Bellamy's touch. Somehow in the midst of everything even having the bars between us, the kiss we shared still took my breath away. I had no idea how I was going to pull this off.

"So how'd this happen?" Bellamy finally asked once we were able to take out hands off each other.

"Well it seems that he and my mom are actually dating." I told him "I guess it could be worse though, if they weren't I probably wouldn't be sitting here right now."

"I guess."

"So, my mom and Emori let me sit in on her appointment. I saw the baby and heard his heartbeat." I didn't have to pretend to smile when I talked about that.

"His?" He asked.

I nodded "she's having a little boy. Poor kids gonna be a Murphy Jr I feel it already."

He gave me a sad look "is it hard being back here?"

"A little. There's a lot of memories. It reminds me of how he used to be." I sighed "but on a cheerier note. Your friend John is a godsend. He's the one that helped me get in to see you yesterday."

Bellamy smiled "I hoped you two would officially meet after getting dragged in here. He's one of the only guys that I would trust."

His words made my heart hurt. John would betray him. I would betray him.

"I convinced Marcus that John had nothing to do with it. I told him I used him. I just hope that it holds. I don't want him getting in trouble for helping us out. No one else needs dragged into this."

"Used him? Should I be jealous?" He smiled the first smile that I've seen from in in a while.

I laughed "yea our story was he was taking me back to his room for a little one on one time. Apparently, I stole his key and led myself right to where you'd be."

His eyes lit up "I can't believe you two would do that, just so you could get in here to see me."

"Even though apparently I jumped the gun a little." I told him "I honestly never believed that Marcus would agree to this."

We sat and joked around a little before realizing that I hadn't told him about my dad.

"I almost forgot. My dad's here to." I said with a huge smile.

"Are you serious?" He asked sharing the same smile.

I nodded "I guess he got here a couple months after we took off."

Bellamy's expression changed "if we wouldn't have left…"

"Hey. Hey. Hey. Don't worry about that. I think maybe I was just meant to come back now. Now that I've grown some." That was the first time I planted in the seed that I may want to stay.

"I'm glad he's here." Bellamy finally got out.

"Me to. I honestly thought I'd never see him again." And that was the complete and honest truth.

We talked for just a little while longer before I knew I had to get going. I didn't want to leave him, but I knew it was only for a little while. At least this first week I'd be spending a lot of time with him.

We shared a very awkward kiss through the bars. I didn't mind the awkwardness though just having his lips on mine again was enough for me.

After leaving Bellamy, I went to see John. I didn't care what I promised Marcus I would tell John about the plan because if I didn't he would never go along with it. I just hoped he would be willing to once I told him what the end game is.

I stood outside his place and knocked, obviously he hadn't been expecting me.

"What do I owe this visit?" He said with a huge grin.

"Do you mind if I come in?" I said in a serious tone.

He stepped back and let me come inside. I immediately went into detail about everything that happened. I didn't want to leave out one single thing. When I started rounding out he was focused, I knew he was trying to decipher if he could do this.

"So, what do you say? You wanna break Bellamy's heart with me?" I tried to say in a joking manner, but it came out all wrong and I instantly got emotional.

I hated this. Every single part of it.

"Or do you think there's a way we can break him out?" I asked hopeful.

He sighed "if we tried something like that you'd put your whole group in danger. If he breaks out they will send someone after him, they're not the type to give up until whoever their looking for is found."

I knew it wasn't possible anyway but figured if I didn't at least ask then I didn't do everything possible.

"So, we doing this then?" I asked him, he just nodded. "Well I guess we need to start now then. We need to make sure were seen with each other a lot."

"Well at least you're easy to be around, so there will be no faking the conversations." He was trying to make lite of everything.