Chapter 21

It was around eight when they made it to Saint Joseph. Where Alex had been driving at a reasonable pace, Liv was always in a hurry and speeding. Liv drove them to the hotel immediately. She knew that Alex must be hungry but she wanted to check in. There were things that needed to be done and they needed to be done quickly and with an efficiency.

She had gotten them a room at the Holiday Inn Riverside. It was a nice enough hotel for a day or so stay. She had Alex come into the lobby with her as she checked in. Alex was walking around looking at all the brochures offering the local attractions, but always kept Liv in sight and Liv did the same. The clerk handed her the key cards and told her how to get to the room and the best place to park. Liv smiled at the woman and took the cards.

Alex caught herself picking up a few. There were some interesting places that she would want to visit, if they could. She hoped that Liv would relax enough to let it happen.

"The Pony Express Museum is here," Alex told her as they headed clown the hall to their room.

"Is it?" Liv asked half amused at Alex's glee over such information.

"Yeah, we should go," Alex suggested.

"You don't leave New York often, do you?"

"No, I didn't. I was too hell bent on work. If I did leave, I went to my family's house at the Cape. It was the only place that I could find myself when I lost myself to the City."

"Sounds nice enough."

"I guess it was. I just never realized what I was missing with the rest of the country at my disposal. I never tried to venture far because I was always worried that I might something I liked more than being a lawyer," Alex confessed.

"Would that be so bad?"

"In my family, yes, but I love history and art as much I love the law and being a lawyer. I like going to museums, but you can only go to the Natural History Museum so many times before you become a tour guide. Can we go?" Alex asked her handing her the pamphlet.

"If you want, I don't see why not. I'll call Cole later and tell him that we are going to stay an extra day. This is it," Liv told her as they approached their door.

Liv put the key card in the slot and opened the door. They hadn't brought anything with them but Liv's day pack. She really didn't go anywhere without it. She sat it on the table as she surveyed the room.

"Well this is interesting," Alex stated.

"What?"

"There is only one bed."

"Don't worry about it. I'll sleep on the couch. We'll be fine. It was the last room they had before the weekend. There is some sort of convention in town. The clerk told me," Liv explained.

"It is a California king, Liv. You could sleep in the bed. We wouldn't even find each other."

"I'll stay on the couch. I'll be fine. You take the bed. Besides, I don't want to keep you up. I probably won't be sleeping much anyway," Liv added.

"Why? Are you still worried about what happened in Paris? Or, is it something else?"

"I need to plan our route. Until that is done and other arrangements are made, I am not going to be comfortable sleeping. I need to make sure that everything is in place and ready for us before we get to Sioux Falls. This reminds me I need to call Cole and tell him to delay the shipment for a day or so. Everything will work out for us. I promise."

Alex just watched her. It was like Liv was on mission. She had already pulled out her laptop and set it on the table. She was fishing around in her day pack for a cell phone. Alex sat down on the end of the bed defeated, because she knew that she wasn't going to get anywhere with Liv until she was done.

"Cole, yeah, it's me...No, I don't need anything that I know of...Yeah, we're fine...I am going to stay an extra day to get things in order...Yeah, I am sure...Just listen...Yeah, she's fine...No, I haven't said anything about that...No...No...Not right now...Would you just listen for a second? ...Damn it, Cole...Sergeant! ...Thank you...Listen, I am giving you another day for the package. We'll be picking it up on Saturday, okay? ...Good...Yeah, I'll send the payment tonight...Roger that, Sarge. Out."

Liv closed the cell phone and threw it back into her day pack. She turned and looked over at Alex. She could see the emotions crossing over Alex's face, but she didn't know what to say or do. She had to keep Alex sale. That was her first priority. She realized that she had shut down in Saint Louis and gone back into military mode. She knew that it alienated Alex and she shook her head.

"I'm sorry," Liv told her.

"For what now?"

"I don't know how to explain it. I…I. don't…I am just sorry. Are you hungry? We should eat."

"That sounds like a good idea."

"Did the lobby have any of the brochures on places to eat? Did you see something that you wanted? It doesn't matter to me," Liv told her.

"There were two places, but only one of them is open now," Alex told her.

"Okay, so we'll go there. Again, I am sorry. I am trying, Alex. I really am."

"I know and I appreciate it. I heard what you told Cole in the car earlier. It meant a lot to me."

"What I said?" Liv asked her confused.

"Yeah, about you being my bodyguard and not my jailer. You are doing what you have to do to keep me safe. I appreciate that, a lot. I might fight you on some things, but I know that you have my best interest in mind. I appreciate that you understand that is difficult for me as well. I know that you have been indulging me. Thank you for that, too. I know that you are trying to make this as painless as possible for me. I do," Alex explained.

"Well, I'm glad then," Liv replied.

"We should eat," Alex said.

She could tell that emotions were high and she knew that Liv didn't handle them well. They would go eat and talk. They would pretend to be friends for an hour. Then, they would come back to the hotel room. Liv would plan the rest of their trip and Alex would sleep. They were able to keep up appearances, whatever they were, when needed, but it still didn't feel right to Alex.

They went to a local favorite eatery. It was called the Bad Art Bistro. Alex had to admit that she liked the quirky interior covered in local artwork. The food was good and they actually had a good time.

She was just sorry that she knew as soon as they got back to the hotel room that Liv would shut down again and turn back into Benson. That was how she thought of them. She was two different people. Liv was her friend and Benson was her bodyguard. She just hoped that somewhere on this journey that the two met and merged into one. It would make things a little easier for them both emotionally.

Alex went to the bathroom to prepare for bed. It had been a long day and she was ready to relax completely. She had already taken a quick shower while they were still in Paris, but now she thought that the feel of the warm water running over her body would help her get ready for bed. She grabbed some clothes and disappeared into the bathroom while Liv sat down at the table with her laptop.

Alex going to take a shower when they got back from dinner wasn't lost on Liv. She realized that she done something and closed herself off from her again. She had started to relax in Paris, but then she rescued the boy and put them both in jeopardy. It had been a Catch 22 situation and she hated it. She couldn't believe how easily her training took over. She wondered if this was how it was always going to be. She didn't want things to always dissolve back into a mission.

Liv stared at the screen. She didn't have to stay up tonight and make plans. She had tomorrow after she took Alex to the museum. She needed the rest, but her mind wouldn't slow down enough to let her. She was so strung out about keeping Alex safe that she hadn't heard her come back into the room after her shower. She looked up over her laptop screen just in time to see Alex toweling her hair.

Alex gave her a smile as she came further into the shared room of their suite. She was glad for the black wife beater and the navy blue boxers. She was comfortable, but she knew that the dark colors set off her skin. She watched Liv stare at her for a few seconds. Her cobalt eyes burned into Liv's chestnut and the other woman looked back at her screen. Alex smirked.

"I think I am going to take a shower. Please stay away from the door and windows. I shouldn't be long but just a few minutes. Go on to bed, if you'd like. I don't want keep you up," Liv told her as she disappeared into the bathroom.

It wasn't until she was in the bathroom that she realized that she had forgotten to get any clothes. She stared at herself in the mirror. The weariness of their early departure was catching up to her. She was worried for Alex and hoped that the DNR officers didn't really remember what they looked like or had snuck a picture of them. They didn't have time to explain to anyone what was going on and still stay under the radar. She was still amazed at how quickly Alex acquiesced to leaving.

Liv sighed and continued to stare into the mirror as she got undressed. She slowly peeled off her shirt and bra. She stood there and looked at her scars. They had only been marks of pain and suffering before today. She didn't know why but with Alex seeing them, they didn't any more. They seemed more like marks of heroism, like ribbons that couldn't be given because of the secretive nature of their missions.

She slowly touched them as she tried to push the memory of Yulia standing there in her father's house, in his hardwood paneled study, holding that old model AK47 with a full clip and shooting her. Some days it was all she saw when she closed her eyes. She had never admitted that to anyone, not even Cole, and definitely not the "shrinks" that they made her see. Her fingers glided over the bumpy and odd feeling flesh. She took in a quick breath and let it out slowly.

Finally when she couldn't take the sight of herself any more, she turned around and started the shower. She didn't wait for it to get to temperature before she got in. She let the water sluice over her body and wash away the day. Tonight was a first for her as she stood under the spray, though. Tonight when she closed her eyes, she didn't see Yulia standing there with the rifle. Now, she saw Alex standing there in that red bikini beckoning her over. She had to put a hand out to hold herself up as her knees went weak.

She didn't need this. She definitely didn't need this now. She pushed off the tile wall and straightened her stance. She tried to shake the thought from her head. Liv felt her body betray her and she was grateful for the water spraying down on her as it covered up the moan that escaped from her mouth.

A/N: Don't be made at me. I had to leave you hanging. I know you want more. But, you'll just have to wait. Hopefully, for tomorrow's installment. But, it might be a few days, for whatever reason, the ending wants to write itself first...but I don't want to tease you all for too long. So, we'll shoot for tomorrow night and hopefully another chapter. Don't forget to review, PM, and favor...it makes the muse happy. And, a happy muse means more story. Goodnight, my lovelies.

To Guest user :Moi...join the site. It's free and then we can actually PM each other. Your choice, but I am happy you like the story.