Oh wow. Hi guys...are you mad? It's been like years. Idk if the same people even still read my stories anymore. Well...I won't promise anything. But I'm trying. And I do love you guys. I sincerely apologize for leaving you in the lurch. You deserve better of me, so I will do better by you guys. That I will promise you. This is the first chapter that I have written in over a year. So I apologize for the chaoticness of it all. So please, as always,

Read, Review and Enjoy

I had decided to bite the bullet and buy a pregnancy test. I did it after work that day. I have never been more mortified in my entire life. I was only 17 and I was buying a pregnancy test. I couldn't understand that that was my life. I was not ready at all for a responsibility on that kind of level. I was incapable of taking care of a another human life. I couldn't even take care of myself.

Well… that much is apparent. As I am lying here on the cold, wet ground with my life leaving my body seemingly as slowly and as painfully as possible.

As mortified as I was buying the pregnancy test. Absolutely nothing could compare to the absolute horror and self-loathing I felt when it showed me the vile little pink strip. My entire world crumbled beneath me. I couldn't breathe or see properly. Everything before me was thick and hazy and I moved and breathed as though I was drowning in molasses.

I was pregnant.

Pregnant!

That was the end of my entire life. I could kiss my future goodbye. There was no way that I was getting into Columbia with a baby on my arm. It would be near impossible to finish high school. And that was if I was living with family who could help me take care of the baby. There was no possible way that I was telling my aunt about it. I couldn't tell anyone about it.

But it wasn't as though I could keep it a secret forever. Trish already noticed me gaining weight. Come five or six months and I would definitely be showing. So what was I to do?

And then there was the matter of the father of the baby.

I still shudder involuntarily at that thought of having to spend the rest of my life with a man who beats me. I shudder at the thought of becoming like my mother and having my child, maybe even this one, being scared by his brutish father. Or worse, being beaten to death by him.

I remember covering my face with my hands and sobbing for so long that I had run out of tears. But it didn't matter that I no longer had tears to produce. My heart was still weeping. I could not be tied to him for the rest of my life. I absolutely could not. I just got free of him.

I just got free and there was no way that I was going back. I just…I just couldn't.

.

.

.

I woke up to the sound of knocking on my door. I had spent the better half of the night crying and praying on the bathroom floor and sometime during the night I must have gotten up and found my way to the couch. There was more knocking and I groaned lightly. I did not want to get up.

I rubbed my sore eyes and I pulled myself up from off the couch. I slowly walked to the door and silently prayed that I didn't look as bad as I felt.

My heart fluttered immensely when I saw Ichigo standing in my doorway. I could feel my face heating up and turning a shade redder than my hair. I couldn't believe that he was there.

I quickly tried to fix my messy hair and wipe the sleep from my eyes. His own amber eyes drew together in concern as he took in my disheleved appearance. I looked away, embarrassed.

"Orihime…are you okay? You look like you've been crying…don't tell me that that asshole is back!"

"NO!...um…no, he's not. He's gone for good now," I stumble over my words. Some of the tenseness leaves his eyes, but none of the concern.

"What's wrong then…you look like you've been crying." He reached out as if he was going to touch my face, but falters part way through and runs his hands through his hair. I stood there, transfix by the motion. I love his hair, and I think that I always will. It's so much like my own, but its shaggy and messy and attached to someone who I've had a crush on for as long as I could possibly remember.

"Orihime?" I snap out of my thoughts and I really look at him. I blush as I realize that I was staring.

"Um…Ichigo…please come in. I would like to make you something to drink, if that's okay with you?" I gave him a small soft smile. He nods and lifts the corners of his lips into one of his rare, trademark smiles as he entered the door way. I turned from him, my heart racing like a greyhound.

I made my way to the kitchen and I reached into the cabinet to grab cups.

"So…Ichigo, what brings you over here? Not that I'm not happy to see you. In fact I am very happy to see you. Although I'm not too happy to see you, but there's not a thing such as too happy to see anyone. Although if you haven't seen anyone in a really long time, then I guess that you can be really happy to see them. But I suppose if it's a person that you do not like, then I guess you would be happier not seeing them at all. But I like seeing you, so of course I am really happy to see you. But I saw you yesterday at work so I'm not that happy to see you. But it also does not take away the happiness that I have for seeing you today. In fact, I think that I would be the same amount of happy to see you, even if I saw you every single day. Because you are one of my closest friends and –"

I nearly jumped out of my skin when I felt his hand on my shoulder. I dropped the cup that I did not know that I was clutching tightly in my hand and it bounced on the counter top and shattered on the floor.

"Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to startle you. You were just…rambling." I turned to look at him and he's looking away, his face a light shade of red.

"It's okay," I replied softly, my breath catching in my throat.

He looks around for the broom and grabs it when he spots it.

"Oh no Ichigo. I made the mess, I'll clean it up."

"No, no, it's fine. I don't mind. I shouldn't have startled you." He begins sweeping the broken glass in a pile. I move out of his way to grab the mop to do a once over so I wouldn't cut myself.

"I came over because I just wanted to check on you. Maybe grab some lunch or something…" he trails off, still sweeping the floor. I, however freeze.

"Oh…should I call Rukia and Renji?"

"No…there's no need to call them."

"Are they meeting us there?"

"No. It's just you and me. Its fine with just us right?" I couldn't bring myself to look at him. So I just nod and reached for the mop. "Good." I turned to see his smile.

I love Ichgio's smiles. They make my heart flutter and my breath hitch. Whenever I see it, I get a pang in my heart when I realize that he's not mine and that he might never be.

And from where I am now, I really wish that I would have done something about it.

.

.

.

While at a small café that wasn't far from the apartment complex, I sat across from Ichigo, some how ravenous for a Barbeque burger with extra pickles and a huge plate of chili cheese fries. With all of the vomiting that I had been doing, I was surprised that I could even eat that, let alone in that quantity.

"Wow Hime, I've seen you put away a lot of food before, but are you sure you won't get sick from eating that fast?" I looked up at him and I could feel that mixture of cheese, chilli and barbeque sauce dripping from my face. He smirks and grabs a napkin. Before I could even blink, he was cleaning my face for me. I blushed a bright crimson as for the umpteenth time that day, my heart went into overdrive.

When my face was cleaned to his satisfaction, he balled up the napkin and placed it on his plate.

"Sorry, you had a little something on your face…I just wanted to help?" At that point I wasn't sure if he was talking to me or to himself. He blushed and looked away. I smiled and bit my lower lip. I was sure that I was in love with Ichigo at that moment. And all of the moments before then. He did something to my heart that no other guy could ever do.

Not even Micheal.

The unbidden thought of Micheal came to my mind, and with it, brought the memories of last night and the horrible, awful reality of my gritty, gray life.

The tasty food suddenly became sod in my mouth and I lost the ability to chew and swallow it. I forced it down with hard swallow and it was like a heavy lump in my stomach.

I was pregnant with Micheal's child and I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what I wanted to do, all I knew was that my life was over, and I didn't think that I could ever be happy again.

I could feel the tears building up and spilling down my hot face. I looked down into my plate as my food congealed into a soggy mess, mixing with my salty tears. I was embarrassed to break down in front of Ichigo, but I couldn't help it. Any future that I might have or wanted with him was now spoiled by the fact that was my condition. He would never want me now, and who can blame him?

He grabbed my hand and pulled me from the café and a little ways down the street before ducking into an alley. I covered my face in my hands and sobbed harder, thankful that no one else would have to see my tears.

"Hime…what's wrong? Why are you so sad?"

"Ichigo…" I sobbed into his chest. I was in so much pain. My life was ruined. I thought that I was getting love from someone who reminded me of my brother. But I got was pain, hurt and ruin from someone who was like my father.

Ichigo pulled me close and held me tightly. I gripped his shirt and buried my face in his shirt as if I could hide from the world in there.

"Don't worry Orihime. Everything will be fine. You're tougher than you know. There isn't anything that you can't do or face. And you got your friends, you got me. I'll always have your back no matter what."

"Ichigo I'm pregnant!"

Questions, Comments, and/Concerns?