Like Old Times
11/22/04

"So... You'll help us, right?"

Jerry "The King" Lawler and Jim "J.R." Ross glanced at one another.

"I wish you gave us more time to think this through, kid." J.R. replied.

"I know it's terrible timing, but we really need people to back us on this..." Shane stated.

"And there's no better time than five minutes before air time?" Jerry asked, then tried to give Shane a stern look.

"That look is wasted on me, Jerry. Sorry for my timing on this. Just try to gear your thoughts towards D-X, Randy and Jay, okay?"

"What about you and your mom?" J.R. questioned.

"Minimal amount of mentions as possible... Unless I pop up on the show."

J.R. and Jerry once again exchanged a glance.

"Alright, we're in."

"Thanks, guys. Love ya. Bye." Shane stated and took off through the crowd.

Once back in the D-X locker room, Shane gave Paul and Shawn the thumbs up.

"They're both in?" Paul asked.

"They're both in." Shane confirmed.

"Awesome. Now we have to wait for Randy and Jay to get back..."

No sooner did the sentence escape his mouth, Randy and Jay burst through the door and slammed it shut.

"Alright... The majority of the guys we spoke to are in. Cena included... That'll help a lot because of the influence he has over the fans." Randy stated.

"Does anyone know about Shawn?" Paul asked.

"I didn't say anything." Jay replied.

"Same." Randy said.

"Not a damn word from my mouth either." Shane stated.

"Good... Because that's hella important."

"Isn't it bad to lie to everyone?" Shawn asked.

"If we don't lie, the Board will drop the investigation." Shane replied, narrowing his eyes at Shawn.

"Don't second guess this now, Shawn. We're in way too deep." Paul stated.

"Sorry." Shawn mumbled.

"That's fine."

"So, what's the plan, then?" Jay asked.

"Simply? Fuck things up," Shane replied, checking his phone as he did so. "Alright... So, it turns out that Vinnie Mac wants to meet with D-X in the ring tonight. Apparently he won't bring his muscle if you guys don't bring Randy and Jay."

"How do you know?" Paul inquired.

"Just got a text from him." Shane replied, holding up his phone so everyone could see the screen.

"I don't like how that sounds." Jay frowned.

"Neither do I... But I guess we don't have a choice." Paul replied.

"You guys only have about three minutes to decide... He wants to open the show." Shane explained.

"Shit. Sick feeling of déjà vu right now." Randy stated.

"Nothing can get worse than what happened last week." Shane argued.

"Stop saying that, Shane-O. I feel like every single time that comes out of your mouth, something worse always happens!" Paul shouted.

"My bad."

After a few moments of awkward silence, Paul sighed. "Tell your old man we're in."

Shane nodded and sent the text. "I hope you know what you're doing."

"Me too," Paul turned to look towards Shawn. "I need you to... Stop being you."

Shawn looked baffled. "Pardon?"

"Stop being polite. Stop being... How you are right now. Get angry. Be the Shawn of 1997."

Shawn narrowed his eyes angrily. "I don't like that guy."

"I know you don't, and neither do I. But you have to be that Shawn, or Vince will know something is up."

"I know."

"Okay... Do you need anything to snap you back a few years?" Shane asked.

"Yeah," Shawn turned to look at Shane. "Hit me."

"No way, man." Shane replied.

"I'll do it." Paul stated.

"No, I want Shane to do it."

Shane sighed. "I'm not going to enjoy this..."

Randy, Jay and Paul watched with amusement as Shane balled his hand into a fist, reared back and punched Shawn in the face. The three were surprised to see Shawn stumble backwards.

Paul was terrified to see the angry glint reappear in Shawn's eyes. "Okay... Let's get this over with..."

By the time Shawn and Paul got to the gorilla position, Vince was already out in the ring with a microphone, boring the hell out of the fans.

"You ready for this?" Paul asked.

"Shh. Don't talk. You'll ruin the charade." Shawn replied.

Paul smiled. "I'll take that as a yes. Alright, let's go."

"Are you ready?"

Vince angrily watched as D-X made their way to the ring.

"Get the glare out of your stare, old man." Paul stated.

"I was just thinking to myself... How nice it was for you to actually come down to the ring... Just the two of you."

"Well... Likewise... Except it's just you. We aren't gonna get ambushed, are we?"

"I always keep to my word." Vince replied.

Shawn and Paul looked at one another. "That wasn't a no." Shawn pointed out.

"Wasn't a yes, either." Vince stated.

"Well, old man... There's really no reason for us to be out here talking to you right now. I mean... We foiled your plan to use Shane against us... Then we defeated your team at Survivor Series... And now you're in deep with your wife and the Board of Directors. So, unless you want to apologize for being a jerk to us... I think this conversation is over."

Vince eyed Paul for several moments. "I see you've been talking to Shane."

"Stating the obvious." Paul retorted.

Vince narrowed his eyes angrily. "I didn't demand to speak to the two of you out in this ring for the sole purpose of apologizing to you. I don't even want to apologize. I'm Vincent Kennedy McMahon, dammit! I don't apologize to anyone! Now... I called the two of you degenerative juvenile delinquents out here because I want you to apologize to me."

"Ex-freaking-scuse me!?" Shawn shouted.

"You heard me, Michaels! The two of you owe me an apology for everything you've done."

"Have you hit your head recently?" Paul asked.

"You ruined my family. You're turning my own company against me. And, let's face it, you're trying to ruin my career. All the two of you care about is running around, acting like children."

Shawn and Paul looked at one another. They weren't sure if they were hearing things correctly, but they would play along for however long Vince wanted them to.

"You ruined your own family, Vin Man. Everything that's happening now is a result of all of the mistakes you've made." Shawn growled.

"You're one to talk about mistakes, Michaels."

Paul grabbed a hold of Shawn and pulled him away before he even thought about charging after Vince.

"Honestly, Vince... You'd think you'd be a little more careful what you say around us, huh?"

Vince glared at Paul. "You two are the ones making mistakes. The biggest one you've made is allowing my son, and other unfavorable wrestlers like Orton and Christian, to align themselves with you. Does that make you two feel better about yourselves? Having people who are just as miserable and useless as the two of you hang around and help you out with your petty problems?"

Paul once again had to hold Shawn back. "You want to talk about unfavorable wrestlers who are miserable and useless? Okay. We'll shoot you three names. Tyson Tomko. Dave Batista. And, as much as it pains me to say it, Ric Flair. You stole my faction away from me and fired Randy when he didn't want anything to do with you and your stupid schemes. Your plans, whatever they may be, aren't going to cost Tomko, Batista and Flair the respect they've earned from their peers and the fans... But it's going to cost them their jobs. Can't you see that? Honestly, what the hell is so great about destroying peoples lives?"

"You destroy careers, Triple H. You should be able to answer that question on your own." Vince stated.

It was Shawn's turn to grab Paul. "Are you holding us out here as a distraction? If something happens to anyone in that locker room, we're not going to be very happy." Shawn remarked.

Vince smiled evilly. "Wait and see."

"You'd think they'd stop fucking around and get back here already." Randy grumbled.

"They're playing things his way." Shane replied.

Randy turned to look at him. "I don't see why. That's just resulting in them wasting even more time. They should get to the point and get back here."

"Why? Feeling iffy?" Shane asked.

"I don't know, man. I just feel like they shouldn't play things his way for an extended amount of time. I mean... Your old man wants everyone to play his way. They're only appeasing him."

Shane rubbed his head. "I see what you mean. But, for now, let them handle this the way they want to. If they want to roll with what my dad is doing, then so be it. But, for now, I have an errand to run. I'll be back in a few."

"See ya, kid. Be careful." Jay stated.

"Always," Shane remarked as he left the room. No sooner did he step out the door, he nearly cracked heads with Chyna. "Whoa! Sorry, Joanie."

"It's alright, Shane. Where are you off to?"

"Gotta run an errand. Care to join me?"

Joanie shrugged her shoulders. "I guess. It's better than sitting around with those two."

The two started walking down the hall towards the cafeteria.

"Where ya been?" Shane suddenly asked, taking Joanie by surprise.

"Around. I haven't been here that much, I know... I've been busy." Joanie replied.

"It happens," Shane replied, coming to a halt outside of the door that read 'Mr. McMahon.'

"Shane... We aren't supposed to go in there."

Shane turned to look at her with a sarcastic smirk on his face. "My last name is 'McMahon,' Joanie. Those rules don't apply to me... Well... Technically they do... But I don't care."

Joanie sighed and rubbed the back of her neck. "Okay, so what are you doing?"

"Breaking into my dad's office." Shane replied, expertly picking the lock on the door.

Joanie watched him in amusement, wondering where the hell he learned to do such a thing. "For what purpose?"

Shane stopped picking at the lock and turned to look at Joanie. "Umm... Business."

"Shouldn't you just make an appointment?"

"You've missed a lot." Shane replied, then turned his attention to the door.

Within ten seconds, the knob clicked as it became unlocked, and Shane stood up to open the door. He held it open for Joanie, then slid into the room and closed the door behind him.

"Now what?" Joanie asked, looking around.

Shane walked over to Vince's desk and started looking at some papers on it. "I have to find something... Just stand guard, okay?"

Joanie rolled her eyes. "Amazing plan you have, Shane."

"What plan? I act first and think later."

"Sarcasm." Joanie dead-panned.

Shane chuckled. "Eureka! Found it!"

Joanie turned and watched as Shane grabbed a piece of paper, folded it up and shoved it into his pocket. "Can we go now?"

Shane nodded and started making his way back to the door.

"Not another step, McMahon."

Shane and Joanie turned around and saw Dave Batista and Tyson Tomko standing behind them.

"Well, damn." Shane replied.

"What the hell are you doing in here?" Dave asked.

Shane shrugged his shoulders. "Dunno."

"Don't play games with us." Tomko stated.

"Well... I don't want to play games with the two of you. But, the thing is, I don't take well to people I don't respect. And, quite frankly, you two are nothing more than my father's lackeys. Sorry, but there's nothing commendable about that. Trust me, I'd know."

"You like to run that mouth of yours, Shane. Why don't you put your fists up and prove yourself worthy of hanging with the big boys?"

Shane smirked. "Ooh. Sassy."

Dave glared at him. "Stop being an arrogant bastard."

"Ouch, that hurts. That really hurts, Dave. It's hard to stop being one when I was raised by one... But, I'll try."

"That's it. I'm giving you ten seconds to put up your damn fists, or I'll beat you to the ground." Tomko growled.

"Alright, alright. Do me one favor."

"What?"

"Let Joanie go. Let her leave and you can do whatever you want to me, alright?"

Dave and Tomko turned to look at one another. They muttered to one another, then finally looked back over at Shane and Joanie.

"Fine. She can go."

Shane turned to look at Joanie. "Get out of here."

"What?! No!" Joanie shouted.

"Please. Go." Shane stated.

Joanie saw he wasn't going to let up. "Be careful."

"Yeah," Shane watched her leave, then turned to look at Tomko and Dave. "Ready when you are."

Joanie ran from the office and started heading back towards the D-X locker room. Ironically enough, she bumped into Randy Orton.

"Thank God it's you!" Joanie shouted.

"Now that's a reaction I haven't heard in awhile..."

"Shut up, Orton!"

"That's more or less what I'm used to." Randy pouted.

"Get serious! Shane needs your help!"

"What? I thought he said he was going on an errand."

"The errand involved breaking into Vince's office." Joanie explained.

Randy snorted. "Why am I not surprised?"

"Because he's Shane. He went in there to find a paper or something. Anyway... Batista and Tomko were in there. You have to help him."

"Will do."

Joanie watched as Randy took off towards Vince's office, then promptly broke down the door with one perfectly aimed kick. Randy stormed into the room and took in the sight before him.

Shane was sitting on Vince's desk, looking innocent, as Tomko and Dave writhed in pain on the floor.

"Joanie said you were in trouble..?" Randy stammered.

Shane smirked and held up a lead pipe. "Sometimes you have to cheat to win."

Randy shook his head in amusement. "I guess so... Damn, the way she made it sound, you were either dead or dying."

"Eh. I have ways of avoiding both. Let's get out of here."

Shane hopped off of the desk and started heading for the door. Randy followed suit. No sooner did the two leave Vince's office, Shawn and Paul ran over to them.

"Is everything okay?" Paul asked.

"Yep. Everything is fine."

"Woofa. Good. We went back to Jay and he said the two of you left. Don't do that again!"

"Sorry. I had to snag something. Let's not talk about it here, though. Okay?"

Paul got the hint. "Okay, let's go."

Jay looked up at everyone when they walked back into the locker room. "Jesus, where the hell did the two of you go?" He asked Randy and Shane.

"Shane went to break into his dad's office. I followed him to make sure he didn't get dead." Randy replied.

Shane rolled his eyes. "Honestly, you'd think you guys would have a little bit of faith in me..."

Paul raised an eyebrow at him. "Er... Right. So, what'd you snag?"

Everyone watched with interest as Shane pulled the piece of paper out of his pocket and unfolded it. "The payroll information."

"And this is important... Why?" Randy asked.

"To prove who has been working for my dad since this shit started," Shane stated, then widened his eyes when he realized something. "Really?"

Paul, Shawn, Jay and Randy followed Shane's eyes to Joanie, who was standing with her arms crossed.

"What?" She questioned.

Shane pointed at a line in the paper, then turned it so everyone could see. "According to this, you're receiving miscellaneous bonuses, and you have been since you came back. Care to explain?"

Joanie sighed, feeling the eyes of the five men in the room glaring at her. "McMahon wants me to spy on Shawn and Paul."

"That explains how he knows where we've been." Shawn stated.

"I didn't give him any of that information. Do you honestly think I would do such a thing to you guys? I wouldn't have had a job here if it weren't for the three of you." Joanie gestured to Shawn, Paul and Shane.

"Right, so why are you acting like a snoop?"

"Same reason Jay was working with Tomko. I need the money to support my family. Feeding Vince bogus locations and times is easy enough."

"Speaking of Jay's reason for working with Tomko... Has your brother gotten back to you?" Jay asked Shawn.

Shawn nodded. "Your parents should be free by Wednesday."

"Did you honestly just refer to yourself in the third person?" Randy asked.

"Shut up."

"Back to the more serious matter at hand," Jay and Randy went silent when Paul spoke. "Who else is working with him?"

Shane looked back down at the paper in his hand. "Take a look."

Paul took the paper from Shane and glanced over the names. "Nobody surprising... Except you, Joanie. Why didn't you tell us? We could have screwed him over so hard."

Joanie lowered her head sheepishly. "Sorry. I thought you two would be pissed..."

"What ticks me off is the fact it's been going on for awhile now and you didn't tell us." Shawn replied.

"We can still screw Vince over. He thinks I'm working for him, and he probably won't know Shane took the paper... He might think I grabbed it to prevent him from finding it."

"Not if Dave and Tyson were in there. They'll say Shane grabbed it." Jay stated.

"They didn't get in there until we were about to leave." Shane explained.

"Well, then..," Everyone looked over at Paul. "I think I might have a plan."