Tariana - Aw, thanks! :3 Did I do your character alright?
Amara - Honey, he'd be like 18! He'd be epically hot again! YAY! Except he would be mine. I would marry him in fanfic and real life, totally :) This is set before the wedding party, so she and Bliss haven't met yet ;) Yep, Leo's part of the team, I'm gonna write the chapter where he first met them soon xD Thanks, Ghastly could have a cameo role! Fletche is probably Voldemort's son...I'd kiss Umbridge to see it! Hope you like your character here!
Rubaline - Thankyou so much for your review, you've given me a great idea! xD xD I hope your exams went well! All the characters could meet up on a case, Mitchell and Fletch could become like bezzies! Awcchh this story loves you too! xD
Mademise - Aw, thanks :) I don't know, I just thought of some big actor that everyone would know...The song was You Belong With Me by Tailor Swift. I do apologize for the amount o randomness...That's the way I was taught to spell it, no idea if it's right then xD
Here's part 2! Enjoy!
After they had finally got Skulduggery down from the hanglider with promises of cheese and sugar lumps, they headed to breakfast. Everyone was either tired or hungover apart from Tariana and Reia who were giggling like mad and skipping down the hallway. After breakfast where Ghastly had had another run-in with Kenspeckle's bro that was staying in their hotel, they got changed into their work clothes (or 'kick-ass Matrix threads' as Fletcher liked to call them). They had decided to split up into their teams after they got off the bus at a downtown stop. Val walked down the streets, checking for signs of magic with the special dust Skulduggery had given her. The others were spaced out along the street, doing the same thing. After about an hour Ghastly called to the others ''Guys? I've got something!'' Valkyrie, Tariana and Reia jogged over. The dust Ghastly had scattered indicated that magic had been used in the area recently. Valkyrie looked at the others. ''It's pointing down that alley. Let's go.'' They turned off the main street they were on and walked down the dingy alley. The signs of magic were getting stronger and stronger until it stopped at a crossroads, leading off two different ways. Valkyrie stopped and bit her lip as she decided what to do. She read the air and inaudibly gasped as she felt something on the roof. Something big. She gestured to the others, who ranged themselves out beside her. Reia took out her sword and Tariana and Ghastly took combative stances. Val nodded. ''On the count of three,'' she whispered. ''One...two...''
Something suddenly shifted above her and she found herself pinned to the ground by a heavy force. ''I got the beast! I got the beast!'' yelled an obnoxious blonde voice from above her. ''FLETCHER, YOU DUMBASS!'' She yelled, throwing him off her. Skulduggery, Tanith and Leo who were on top of the roof jumped down. ''So you ended up here too?'' Tanith said. They nodded. ''This is where our trail lead, then it just went off into nothing.'' Leo looked around. ''There's nothing else here. Just some manky old boxes and-ooh..what's this?'' He held up a toy ship, 'aaahhed' at it then stroked it, proclaiming it to be his new best friend. Skulduggery, who wasn't wearing a facade today, couldn't roll his eyes, so he settled with rolling his head before scanning the area. ''If you look closely, nothing is ever what it seems.'' Fletcher started singing the Wizards of Waverley Place theme tune but was kicked by Tanith so he shut up. Skulduggery walked up to a random section of wall and studied it. ''ZOMG,'' Reia shrieked, ''It's Diagon Alley!'' Tariana hit her arm just as Skulduggery pushed in a brick. As soon as he did that, the small manky shack against another wall beside them sunk into the ground, leaving a large tunnel behind it. They looked at it in shock. Something moved at the end of it. Tanith stepped forward, sword already raised and ready. Something moved closer. Ghastly jumped into Leo's arms, Scooby-Doo style. Then the Something took a step forward into the light. Valkyrie had an impression of tallness, a long gingerish beard and a shift dress not unlike one Ghastly owned. She looked up into the face pretty high above her own and gasped. The thing - a male, Valkyrie was guessing - only had one eye, right in the center of its forehead. It took another step forward, then pouted. ''Weeell, look what we have here!'' The gang looked at him. He pushed his long hair back and stared at the closest to him, Tanith and Ghastly. ''Ooooh,'' he winked. ''The two of you are cute!'' Tanith and Ghastly giggled and blushed. ''What is it?'' Valkyrie hissed to Skulduggery, who was standing beside her, frozen in horror. He turned to her. ''It's...it's...'' He shook. ''It's the Biclops.''
Valkyie raised her eyebrows, but he didn't offer any further inormation. The Biclops sidled up to them. ''Who are you?'' He said in a breathy voice. ''Why did you open my cave?'' Fletcher walked over to him. ''Excuse me, thing? Yeah, here. Well, we're a group of detectives from the Irish Sanctuary and we wanna find out about tons of disappearences in this area. Skul - the skellydude back there - did some mojo thing and your cave opened.'' The Biclops grinned. ''Wonderful! I've not had friends over in, like, FOREVAH!'' Tariana looked at him sceptically. ''That's kind of sad. But you live in this area, can you tell us anything about the disappearences?'' ''Dahling, I know everyone! I'm a member of the magical community! So come on, join me!'' They looked at each other. It was a good lead, but something just didn't feel right. The Biclops posed with a hand on his hip. ''Well are you coming or not? I have drinks you know!'' Everyone perked up and the Biclops grinned. ''Last one to the hot tub is Erskine Ravel's bitch!'' They all shrieked and ran into the cavey place behind the Biclops. Tariana was last, but she didn't care, for obvious reasons.
The hot tub was steamy and soon they were all in swimming costumes and trunks Fletcher had in his bag. The Biclops ushered them into the opulent hot tub room. He winked at them all, then threw his arms open and proclaimed ''IT'S SEXY TIME!'' Fletcher began singing ''Peanut butter sexeh time, peanut butter sexeh time,'' while doing the hula. Skulduggery shoved him into the hot tub and they all followed, yelling and laughing as they splashed about. When they were settled down, the Biclops casually placed his arms round Ghastly and Tanith's shoulders. ''So guys...what's this case about?'' They all filled him in on the details and he nodded and ''Mmmhmmed'' in all the right places as he painted Tanith's nails. They were soon finished and his hands flew to his heart. ''Ehmahgawsh!'' He exclaimed. ''You've been through so much! Honies, my heart just bleeds for you!'' They all smiled and continued puffing on their cigars. The talk subsided into casual chatter. The Biclops, Tanith and Ghastly were talking about the disappearences. ''It's really weird though,'' the tousled-haired blonde was saying. ''I can't believe this amount of mages could vanish! Whoever took them must've been pretty charming.'' ''Charming...'' the Biclops mused, ''Yes...'' Ghastly and Tanith made eye contact suddenly, all the pieces falling into place. ''What do you want?'' Ghastly asked. The Biclops looked shifty. ''I just...er...I just want friends...yeah. I get lonely and that's why I invited you in, and...yeah...'' Tanith looked at him. ''Are you responsible for the disappearences?'' There was silence. Ghastly and Tanith's eyes widened. ''You mean...you...you...kiled them?'' The Biclops giggled. ''No, I just had my way with them...''
Ghastly gulped. ''You had your...way with them?'' Biclops nodded naughtily. ''And now I shall have my way with the two of you!'' ''This guy's even more desperate than me,'' Skulduggery muttered. Valkyrie looked at him. He puffed away on his cigar innocently. Ghastly yelled at them. ''Guys! It's him! Biclops is the one behind all the evil wrongdoings! He did them all to death!'' Everybody screamed and Tariana sobbed ''I don't want my life to be ended by a ginger!'' The Biclops got out of the tub and grabbed a pair of tiny red polka-dot bikinis. He waved them around. ''Ghastly, Tanith, my friends! Wouldn't you be ahmahzing and put these on for me?'' He advanced, a bikini in each hand. Tanith backed up because there wasn't much high-kicking and flipping you could do in a hot tub. Ghastly shrieked ''Noooooooo!''
Valkyrie thought he was finally embracing his manliness by the way he was yelling at the bikini, but then he yelled ''Don't make me wear that! Please! It's so last season!'' Slowly, the one-eyed Thing approached. They all gasped as he reached out with his long hands to grab at them, but then there was a thunk sound, his eyes rolled back in his head and he collapsed. They all gasped and looked behind him to where Amara Calla stood holding a long red-coloured sweet. ''Redvines!'' she grinned. ''What the hell can't they do?'' They all cheered and scrambled out the hot tub. Tanith hugged her. ''How did you know where we were? Why're you even here?'' Amara sat down and crossed her legs, showing off the cool fishnet tights she wore. ''I was assigned to this case by the English Sanctuary, a few English mages had disappeared so they wanted me to come over here and check it out. I tracked a trail to here, and that's when I saw the cyclops thing-'' ''Biclops.'' ''That explains a lot. Well, I saw it leaning over you guys so I hit it over the head with my redvine.''
Skulduggery thanked her as they all pulled on their clothes over their swimming stuff. They were all too busy talking that they didn't notice the Biclops rising above them. Fletcher saw it first. ''Oh dear Colfer,'' he whimpered. ''Don't take the Lord's name in vain,'' snapped Tariana, but then she too saw the Biclops and swore. ''Oh sweet Monteith.'' ''Holy Schuester!'' Reia chimed in. Biclops looked at them, flexed his muscles, strode towards him and started messing up Tanith's hair. She stared at him. ''That's really gonna hurt me?'' The others laughed, apart from Fletcher who screamed ''Tanith! Ohmygosh! Are you alright? How's your hair?'' Biclops smirked. ''Nooooo. But this is.'' He smacked Tanith across the room. ''That's it!'' shouted Valkyrie. ''Nobody touches my best friend! You're going down!'' Biclops frowned. ''What's that mean?'' Ghastly patted the brunette on the back and yelled. ''BITCHFIGHT!'' The Biclops nodded. ''Yeah, I understand that.'' The others launched themselves at him.
Skulduggery quickly launched an attack, throwing volleys of fireballs at him. Ghastly and Valkyrie joined him, and Amara, Tariana and Reia jumped and ducked around him, landing shots. But the Biclops was good. Even when he reached into his bag to re-apply a fresh coat of lipgloss, he could hold them off. They were losing ground. Skulduggery suddenly screamed as his left leg was torn off. Leo huddled in the corner, clutching his toy ship and watching the fight. He heard Skulduggery scream and remembered lying there in that freezing water, slowly dying. ''Not this time!'' he exclaimed. He ran in a quite fit way over to the Biclops and waited for the right moment. As the giant turned round, Leo took aim with his ship and sent it flying towards him. It struck Biclops in the center of his head, and for the second time that day, the Biclops sank to the ground unconscious. Everyone turned around and looked at Leo. He fidgeted and grinned cutely. Amara sighed and stared at him lovingly while Reia swooned slightly. Soon, Tanith was back on her feet, the Biclops was tied up and the Californian Sanctuary had been notified and were coming to take it back to their Gaol. The gang left the cave/lair/dark hole thing arm in arm, Leo walking awkwardly as he was carrying Amara and had Reia on his shoulders playing with his hair, occasionally cuddling it. Skulduggery stopped and looked at the others. ''You know what we should do, guys?'' They shook their heads. Skulduggery adjusted his hat. ''Party.''
''AWWWWOOOOO! PUT YOUR LIGHTSABERS IN THE AIR! AND WAVE 'EM LIKE YOU JUST DON'T CARE!'' Fletcher was hammered. He had joined a group of total Star Wars nerds and had somehow become their leader, conducting their chants. He didn't mind. He was cool now. Across the dancefloor Anton Shudder who had randomly turned up was doing the macarena with Skulduggery. ''Hey, Anton!'' shouted Skul over the noise as they shook their hips round to the song.''Yeah?'' ''I want you to do something for me!'' ''What?'' ''Ask Valkyrie out on my behalf!'' ''Like seriously ask her out?'' ''Yeah!'' ''Whoo! Get in there my son!'' They slapped high fives. ''Why?'' ''I don't know, I just feel like it's the right time!'' Shudder nodded. ''Cool. Give me five minutes.'' Shudder left the dancefloor to where Valkyrie was sitting laughing with Amara, Tariana and Reia. ''Hey, Valkyrie?'' She smiled. ''Hey, Anton. How're you?'' He grinned. ''I'm awesome as usual. Valkyrie, I have to ask you something.'' She straightened up. ''What?'' ''Skulduggery asked me to ask you out.'' She stared at him. ''WHAT?'' Anton kicked a chair casually. ''Yeah. No joke or anything.'' She grinned even bigger than before. ''Alright then, tell him yes.'' He nodded, happy for his mate. ''I'll go tell him. And have you seen Tanith? Ghastly wanted to see her earlier.'' She shook her head. ''I haven't seen her for a while.'' He nodded, winked at Amara and went back to Skulduggery.
*several miles away*
Tanith knocked on the door of the huge house several times, bouncing on the balls of her feet in a very hyper way. Brad Pitt opened the door and eyed her warily. ''Oh. It's you again.''
Back at the club, Valkyrie was sitting on Skulduggery's lap as the other three girls attempted to do the moonwalk with Fletcher. Valkyrie said ''I'm just gonna get something to drink'', smiled at Skulduggery and walked towards the bar. The detective turned to Shudder. ''Thanks, Anton, this means a lot to me. You're a great person, you know that?'' He could tell Anton was uncomfortable. He was never the kind of guy who expressed his feelings easily. ''Shut the hell up, Skulessa. As if I wasn't gonna do it. Shuddersaurus never goes back on his word.'' But then he lifted his hand up and they bumped fists amicably. Skulduggery grinned. For a horny douche, Anton could be an amazing friend sometimes.
Valkyrie made her way back with her coke at the same time Fletcher arrived at their table. ''Guess what?'' he gasped. ''Something amazing's happened!'' Valkyrie raised her eyebrows. ''You've mastered the use of three-syllable words, congratulations.'' He shook his head. ''No! Better than that! I'm going out with Lady Gaga!'' Skul, Valkyrie and Shudder stared at him. Anton frowned. ''What the hell, Fletcher?'' The Teleporter beamed. ''It's true, look!'' he pointed to where the singer was staring at him, cracking a whip as she marched towards him. ''Alejandro, Alej-alej-andro,'' she sang as she began to drag Fletcher back to her GaGaMobile. ''Stop, please!'' Fletcher sang back, a panicked look on his face now kicking in as he realised what he was getting himself in for. ''Just let me go! Alejandro, just let me go!'' He disappeared. A new song came on the speakers. Skulduggery asked Val to dance, and promptly everyone forgot about Fletcher.
Two days after that, Skulduggery, Leo and Celine Dion were chilling out in their hotel. Celine had checked in a day ago and since she was friends with Leo, she had agreed to teach Skul to sing. He wailed the high notes as she then Leo joined in with 'interpretive hand movements' that involved him pulling weird dramatic poses that made him look like a bit of a prat. ''NEAARR, FARR, WHEREVER YOU AREEE, YOU KNOW THAT MY HEART WILL GO OONNNN...'' After their practice Celine surprised Skulduggery and Leo. ''Great news, guys!'' she announced. ''I've managed to fit you two into my performance tonight!'' Skulduggery gasped. He would be singing in front of everyone in one of LA's best concert houses! His lifelong secret ambition...finally coming true...
That night, Skulduggery and Leonardo got ready together. Skulduggery straightened his tux. ''How do you feel, Leo?'' The hot blonde shrugged. ''I feel a bit excited, that's all. You?'' When Skulduggery didn't reply he laughed gently. ''I get that you're feeling nervous. I felt the same before my first public performance.'' ''You did?'' ''Hell no. I'm too awesome. But my point is, you're Skulduggery Pleasant, and I'm Leonardo DiCaprio, and we're just about the coolest guys on Earth.'' Skulduggery grinned and slapped the actor on the back. ''Thanks, Leo.'' ''Anytime.'' He winked at Skul. ''I mean it. Anytime. Now come on!'' He pulled Skulduggery as they raced down the hallway onto the main building. One of the stagehands approached. ''Ready, gentlemen?'' They nodded and as soon as he told them to go they raced onstage ans Skulduggery yelled ''Hello, Los Angles!'' No-one answered. Celine was singing on her own to an empty auditorium. ''What the heck?'' Skulduggery exclaimed.
Celine turned as she finished her song. ''Hey guys,'' she said sadly. Leo walked up to her. ''Why isn't anybody here? This was a sell-out show!'' She nodded. ''It was, but just before it started something happened a few blocks down. Some act was performing. Must be a pretty big celebrity.'' Skul was furious. ''Who do they think they are?'' He fumed. ''Let's go see how great this person really is.'' They walked out of the concert house, heading in the direction the sound of thudding music and wild cheers were coming from. The three of them turned the corner and were met with a horrible sight. Hundreds of people were clapping along to the music of Boom Boom Pow as Fletcher danced around singing the song, occasionally high-kicking. Skulduggery looked at him, feeling like he was about to cry.
Val, Tanith, Ghastly, Reia, Tariana, Amara and Shudder were in the hotel lounge when Skul and Leo came in. Skulduggery threw himself down on the sofa face first, not saying a word. They looked at him. Tanith sighed. ''That bad, huh?''
I'm sorry, that wan't too good either...the next chapters will be better, promise!
Now I'm thinking of writing a story seperate from this, about Carol and Crystal discovering magic and becoming totally badass. Do you think I should start it? Please give me your thoughts! Thanks again for reading!