Welcome to Happy Hour

18th July

10:37 GMT-4

"What I'm saying is, they accidentally took a guy from the wrong planet. That doesn't sound very safe to me."

M'gann and I are in the kitchen area. Finding out that despite her appearance she is actually forty eight was quite a relief. Someone I can talk to! Aqualad is sixteen but I've got no idea whether that counts as adult or not in his country. Superboy came out of his pod on the day I got the ring. He looks physically adolescent, but his mental development is all over the place. I had an interesting conversation with him about 'Human, All Too Human' a couple of days ago. His analysis of some of the aphorisms was interesting, but when he spoke it sounded like he was reading out something someone else had written. When I questioned him about it he got in a mood and stomped off. If we're going to live together I'll have to watch myself to make sure I don't push his buttons like that.

"Uncle J'onn says that that can't happen again."

"Of course it can't; he's already here."

She giggles.

"No, I mean the safety systems have been improved since Dr. Erdel experiment. There has to be a tube at each end, and they check the signal integrity before sending whoever is inside."

I've got a construct whisk whisking the mango custard. I'm on dinner duty this evening and I've decided to try my mango meringue cake on a captive audience. People at work seemed to like it. The construct has four whisk bits and as it has no actual mechanical components is virtually silent. I've kept the basic shape though, since I'm used to it and the handle is convenient. The one I made for work had two layers. This one will have three. Partlybecause I want to push my baking skills, and partly because I want there to be some left for the rest of uswhen Kid Flash has finished. He says that he has a fast metabolism as a result of his speed, but I don't think that can be right. He can run at the speed of sound; there is no way a human body can ingest enough to fuel that in the conventional way. On the other hand, he isn't gaining weight, so, I don't know.

Cooking for and being cooked for by apprentice superheroes is an interesting experience. M'gann goes for traditional American food, though yesterday she branched out into Tex-Mex. I pretty much flip through a recipe book until I find something that looks interesting, though when it comes to pudding I currently have a bit of a custard fixation. When he's actually here Kaldur does baked fish with various kinds of seaweed. It isn't as bad as it sounds. Superboy does Beef Stroganoff and poached pears. He does them well, but it appears to be all he knows how do to. I watched him once, and he put everything he needed out on the work surface in a very particular arrangement before starting. Cooked the whole thing in a fugue state, unresponsive when I tried to ask him about it.

One morning M'gann tried to help him make pancakes. I'm not sure exactly what happened, but I ended up having to remove burned pancake mix from the work surfaces, floor and his forearms with the ring.

Kid Flash actually looked distraught when he turned up last Friday evening and I told him I didn't know the number of the local pizzeria.

"But do they check the integrity of the thingcheckingthe integrity?"

"There is at least one level of redundancy built in to each system, an automatic remote daily system check and a service each month."

I stop and look at her. She simpers.

"I read the manual."

"Good. I'm glad someone has."

The custard is mixed. I won't add the mango purée until its started to get stodgy. I eliminate the whisk construct and watch as the custard mix coating it falls into the bowl. I put it in the microwave, one hundred percent power, four minutes.

"Are zeta tubes common on Mars?"

"No, we don't use them at all. Earth developed the technology first, and on Mars the radiation disrupts the signals too much for it to be much use."

I float off the ground, legs folded up beneath me. The cake itself is in the oven, the custard is in the microwave and I can't start the meringue until they are both done and cool. I also can't start doing something else while the custard is cooking because it needs attention every few minutes.

"Why are you doing that?"

"Huh?"

"You do that sitting in the air thing a lot. I was just wondering why?"

Huh, I suppose I have. Hadn't thought about it. Didn't realise that she'd noticed.

"I've had this ring for a fortnight. The novelty value of being able to do this hasn't worn off yet. Kinda hope it never does, actually."

"I can't imagine not being able to fly."

Huh?

"I don't think I've ever seen you fly outside of the base."

"Yes, because I'm trying to fit in. I can't just walk down the street and start floating things in public."

"Why not? There are humans who can do things like that."

"Yes, but not very many. I don't want to attract that amount of attention. While I'm here, I just want to be a normal Earth teenager."

Teenager? Odd. Maybe shape shifters think about societal groups in a different way to humans?

"You do know we're not a monoculture, right? A teenager in the United States is very different to one in Kenya, or Pakistan."

"Yes, but my first exposure to Earth culture was in some teevee shows Uncle J'onn sent back after I asked what it was like here."

"They were all American?"

"I think so. I didn't bring the tapes with me, and when I watched them I didn't really know anything about the different countries on Earth."

"Might be interesting to watch them again, now you know more about what its like here."

"Maybe. I think I mostly liked them because it was so different to what I was used to. Open skies rather than caves."

"You lived in a cave?"

"All Martians do. Oh, no, not little caves. Vast underground caverns. All of the settlements on Mars are underground, because of the radiation."

"Uh."

Mars must be very different here. And not just the being inhabited thing, there are reasons why some worlds don't develop life.

"You said that you came here from a parallel universe, right?"

"As far as I can tell, that's correct."

"Do you have… what's Mars like there?"

"In my parallel Mars is a frigid, barren, uninhabited desert wasteland. I think we found some bacteria in soil samples, but that's about it as far as life goes."

"Oh."

"Sorry, but its like I said. Where I'm from Humans have only met other Humans."

The microwave keeps whirring. There was something I was meaning to ask. What was it? Oh, yes.

"I've been wondering… I saw you change your t-shirt from white to black when I first got here..?"

"Yes?"

"Do you actually wear clothes, or do you just shape shift part of your skin to look like you are?"

Silence. The microwave beeps, and I pull the steaming protocustard out onto the work surface and recreate the whisk construct.

"YesIwearclothesofcourseIwearclothes!"

I turn around. She looks flustered and is blushing purple.

"Oh. Shape shifting clothes. That's fairly impressive, actually. Though I suppose for a Martian on Earth something like that would be pretty essential."

A quick wizz with the whisk and then the custard goes back into the microwave. I set it for two minutes and go back to watching it.

"I'mnotnaked."

"Alright. What sort of range do these wonder garments of yours have? Just standard humanoid, or can they do extra arms as well?"

"Really. I'm wearing clothes. Totally wearing clothes."

"I fully accept that you are wearing clothes."

"I mean, you don't seem to care but some people would probably find it really strange if I wasn't wearing clothes."

"They probably would."

"It would bereallyhumiliating."

"Okay."

"I just want to be clear."

"You are fully clad. The matter is resolved."

"Okay."

"Okay."