"I can feel my love for you

Growing stronger day by day
And I can't wait to see you again

So I can hold you in my arms"

-Is This Love by Whitesnake

It's a typical Sunday I suppose. Adriana is up in her room claiming to finish the homework she had put off until the last minute, when in reality she's texting frivolously with her friends, probably about the latest issue of Seventeen while Don works, as per usual, in the spacious four wall confine of his office. And my mom, lain on the couch, is propped up on pillows with one hand resting on her still flat stomach as she absorbs every word in the baby book that my grandmother sent her, postmarked from London, England.

And then there's me, sitting sideways on the white cushioned chair in the corner of the living room, my legs bent and dangling over its arm. Resting on my lap is my notebook, nearly full of teenage angst and complicated matters of the heart, all presented in a lyrical or poetic fashion.

I didn't see it coming, and I know it threw you too. As we sat out under the night time chandelier and suddenly everything felt clear.

I stare down at the lyrics I've written, thinking back to my first kiss with Eddie and how that one moment, as much as it brought about clarity, it also came with a Santa sized sack of questions and confusion. Questions I knew I couldn't ask quite yet. Confusion I knew I would have to allow to linger a little while longer as day by day, the mentions of Chloe lessen and the pent up sadness that swims in his eyes slowly begins to drain. Eddie and I both know that there are conversations to be had about us, about our relationship, but for right now, I can push it all aside and allow myself to be lost in the memory, painted with orange and a pale tint of red as the pent up tension between us loses all slack and tightens, growing shorter and shorter until the need for it disappears. And later we are surrounded by millions of little diamonds, as he kisses me again, in the comfort of the front porch light.

And when you kissed me goodnight, in the foreground of the dim porch light, your hands held my hands, the wind blew us closer and when I went inside I watched you drive away.

"What are you thinking about?" Mom's voice pulls me from the daydream, acting as an inconvenient alarm clock.

My heartbeat quickens as I jump, slightly started "I'm just writing."

She folds the corner of the page she's reading down, marking her place and then sets the book down on the coffee table beside her, her eyes never leaving mine as they hover "You haven't written a word in at least ten minutes."

I know she's right, she knows she's right and it dawns on me then that we haven't really spoken in a few weeks. Between, the time I've spent with Eddie and reporting every detail back to Mel as she did with Adam, not to mention the stress of exams and my pending graduation…mother, daughter time has been thrown aside unintentionally on both of our parts.

Closing my notebook and placing both it and my pen on the ground, I straighten myself once more before giving my mom my full attention "How did you know when you loved dad?"

As if wiped clean, or covered with fresh blanket of white snow, Mom's face became completely neutral as she contemplated how to answer something she hadn't thought about in nearly fourteen years. "I guess I just knew?" Her answer was phrased much more as a question. "Why do you ask?"

I shake my head, putting it off as no big deal in the grand scheme "I was just wondering."

"Loren?" Her tone is pressing. She's knows me too well.

"A friend suggested something to me a few weeks ago and I guess I'm just trying to sort it out in my head."

She seems to know there's more to it than I'm letting on but lets the conversation slip past her like coins through fingers. "Did Mel and Adam have fun at the dance last night? I saw the video on her blog and they seemed to."

I had seen the video this morning, right after Mel had uploaded it. Mel and Adam seemed to have danced most of the night, alongside Carissa and Cali, Ben, Den and Cameron and a few of his friends. In many of the shots of Cameron, he was dancing with a girl named Jenny whom, according to Melissa was in his Spanish class. Apparently he had asked her to the dance on Friday after the Lacrosse game.

Thinking back thorough the texts from last night and this morning's phone call, I knew "Yes" was a safe answer. "Apparently they danced the entire time and when Mel came home she crashed pretty quickly. She woke up with her shoes still on."

Mom seemed to get a good laugh at Melissa's expense "Poor thing. She must have had fun to be that tuckered out. She's usually a bundle of energy from dawn 'till dusk."

"Had I known that that's all it would have taken I would have forced her to a school dance ages ago."

Then Mom eyes me, a wonder filled look glossing over her eyes "Why didn't you go with them? I know you may have felt like a third wheel but I'm sure Eddie would have gone with you."

I cracked a tiny smile "Bring Eddie to a high school dance?"

"I've seen how he is with you Lo, I'm sure if you had asked him-"

"Mom, I get trampled by kids at school because I know Eddie, if he actually showed up at my school…" I shook my head at the sheer thought of it. "That's just not a good idea."

Sitting up from her position on the couch, she tuckered her legs to her side and leaned forward over the arm "What about Prom?"

"What about it?"

"Are you going?"

She was fishing. "I kind of promised Mel that I would."

Mom's smile could not be contained as it quickly spread onto her glossed lips "Are you going to ask Eddie?"

Laughing slightly, I furrowed my brows "Didn't we just go over this?"

"Prom will be held a hall, not in your school."

"Way to bend around the rules Mom." She gave a sly shrug as she sat back into the cushions. "I'll think about it. Eddie and I aren't even really dating or anything yet though, so I don't know if I really have the right to ask him."

"You're friends though aren't you? At the very least I mean?"

It had become abundantly clear that she wasn't going to let up on the conversation so I stood, bending down to pick my things "Yes we are. But anything can happen in a few months. Prom's still like a million years away."

"It's in three months Lo."

"Exactly" I offered a triumphant smile with my perky answer and made my way over to her, giving her a hug "I'm going to head upstairs."

She pressed her lips into a tight line and narrowed her gaze "You're tired at 8:00?"

I reached into my back pocket and checked the time, before extending the white digitals numbers into her line of vision "Its 8:12."

She simply shook her head. "Sleep tight."

Just as I was passing the front door to make my way to the upstairs staircase, the doorbell rang. Almost instantaneously, I reeled my brain for any indication of who it could be. Don had no friends. All of Adriana's friends would be too busy picking out their outfits for the next week while texting Adriana about it and Mom kept to herself most of the time. The one friend she ever really saw was Ellie, and given Don and Ellie's history, she had never made any indication that she would ever come by. Mom always seemed to head to her apartment instead.

Knowing that Mel had a strict curfew and that Adam rarely came over if Mel wasn't around, I opened the door half expecting to see a cop with an arrest warrant for Adriana, given her shady behavior as of late. I wasn't expecting to see Eddie.

"Hey."

"Hi, what are you doing here?"

Eddie held up the brown paper bag that he was holding, "A bakery opened up by my place a few months ago and I had heard really great things about it but Chloe never wanted to step foot near it. I was driving by tonight when they were closing and stopped in to pick up one of everything sweet. Want to taste test with me?"

My eyebrows shot up to my hairline, genuinely wondering if he was serious and when I realized he was, I stepped aside, "You're going on a sugar binge at like 8:15 at night?"

Using his free hand, he pulled his phone out of his coat pocket. "It's only 8:14." With that, Eddie stepped past me into the house "Kitchen?"

He didn't wait for an answer as he followed the hall that led to the kitchen and then placed the bag on the island, my laugh trailing behind him. "What's going on?"

From the other side of the island, Eddie looks up at me, a sparkle gleaming in corner of his eye that almost appears gold, like the sun reflecting off the ocean water at sunset. It's captivating, almost hypnotizing and it occurs to me that there is no reason for his sudden appearance, there's nothing he needs to tell me, there's no huge secret he's going to spill, he's just here to be here. He's here, simply to see me. And everything is confirmed as he splits a brownie in half and hands the larger piece to me "We're eating a brownie." And that's it. Who knew the world could be so simple I think as I take a bite of the brownie and my taste buds instantly begin to dance.

"Eddie?" We both turn to see my mom making her way into the kitchen, hugging her book closely to her chest "What are you doing here?" I can tell that she's happy to see him and even happier as she looks upon my face to see me smiling still, the smile that seems to stick to my face permanently whenever I'm around him.

Eddie quickly swallows the brownie that he had popped in his mouth and looks back at me for only a moment, "I just came by to see Loren. I hope that's okay?" His words are cautious, almost apologetic.

Noting that, Mom lets a reassuring smile appear on her face with a small breath that she lets out from her nose "Of course, we just weren't expecting you. Are you hungry? I can heat up some leftovers."

"No, thank you, I actually had dinner with my dad just before I came here." At the mention of Max, a small blush creeps onto my mom's cheeks and for a snippet of time, she's back to being seventeen. Memory layered on top of memory, flashing behind her eyes. "Congratulations by the way," Eddie says as he gestures to the book, retracting her from her daydream state.

Her eyes shoot down to the book and back up and Mom's smile seems to grow "Thank you," she says as she looks down at the cover. "I can't believe I'm reading another one of these." Then she turns to me, sarcasm now trickling from the contours of her face "When were you born again? I don't feel old enough to be your mother."

Reaching into the bag, I grab a cinnamon cookie and take a bite "February 2, 1994, it was only the best day of your life."

"Yes, because twelve hours of labor is lovely." Then she walks around the island and kisses the top of my head "You were worth it though." For as long as I could remember, people always frowned on my mother for having me so young, saying she threw her life away. Because of that, for as long as I can remember, she found every excuse to tell me that I was worth it. That she wouldn't change a thing.

"Do you two ever fight?" We both look at Eddie, then each other pondering the question.

Mom's eyes narrow in thought before she shakes her head "Not really. She always does her homework, gets good grades, does her chores without being told and never disrespects her curfew. So there's not much to fight about."

My eye brows pull together "What curfew?"

It then dawns on her that she's never really set a curfew. I've just never stayed out past an obscene hour. "Hmm…I guess we never did establish that, did we?" I shake my head. "Should we?"

"Is there a point?"

This time, she shakes her head. "No." She then reaches into the bag pulling out a lemon square and looks at Eddie, assuming that he brought the bag of treats "May I?"

"Of course" he seems surprised that she asked.

"Thank you" she kisses my head again "I'm going to take a bath but I need you to ask if Mel can drive you to and from school tomorrow. I need to take my car because I have a doctor's appointment at noon."

"I'm sure it'll be fine" I tell her. "Do you have any idea when my car will be ready to be picked up?"

Mom covers her mouth, having just taken a bite out of the square "They said tomorrow actually but not until later." I nod. "Make sure to lock the front door and set the alarm before you head up to bed okay?"

"I will. I love you" I tell her as she begins to make her way into the hall, dragging her feet slightly.

Her shoulders are slumped and I notice her blinking a little more rapidly. The subtle changes to her body from the pregnancy are already taking their toll on her energy levels. "I love you too Lo, goodnight you two."

"Goodnight" we reply in unison as she walks the length of the hall, disappearing around the corner.

Eddie watches her and only turns his attention back into the room once she's out of sight. Then he walks around the island and wraps his arms around me, resting his chin on my shoulder. "How was your laundry night last night?"

My lips press into a smirk as I lean back into him. "Are you making fun of me?"

He gasps slightly in my ear "Me? I would never. Who wouldn't rather do laundry than go to a school dance?"

I rest my hands on top of his. "Someone who has a bunch of exams coming up?"

I can feel him shake his head "You are unlike any other girl I've ever dated." He seems unaffected by the words that have left his mouth, but I feel as if my paralyzed. It's the first time Eddie has given any indication as to what our romantic relationship is and the way my heart soars as he says it is something comparable to the majestic flight of an eagle.

Something in me tells me to not press the matter of his words, that that conversation will take place when it's meant to but still, hearing it leaves me with a sudden sense of relief.

I turn around in his arms, bringing mine around his neck and staring back into his eyes, that same golden sparkle resonating. "I'm glad you came here tonight."

"You are?" He seems almost relieved.

My answer is a kiss, one that lingers a little longer than intended but as my lips begin to tingle against his I swear I see a bursting ray of sunlight in the darkness behind my eyelids. It's like as he holds me, as his lips brush against mine in the most intimate way, flowers are able to bloom in the dead of winter and rain can fall in the driest of deserts. It's the answer to a question I've been terrified to ask, a sudden realization, or an epiphany.

Someone once said that you shouldn't fall in love, you should be in love because everything that falls comes crashing down. I disagree. If you don't fall, you don't give anyone the chance to catch you. If you simply are in love, you don't know if the one you love, love's you back. If you slowly fall, if you reel in it, roll around in the idea of it and close your eyes until you're safely in someone's arms declaring that love from the tallest of all mountains. Sometimes, you might not be caught and maybe that's what they mean by everything comes crashing down. All I know is I would fall a thousand times and crash nine hundred and ninety nine of them if it meant being caught once. Because even being here, dangling from a tree branch above him, holding on for dear life, not quite ready to let go and fall into his arms, not knowing if he'll catch me or have me fall flat on my face, I know one thing for sure:

I am in love with Eddie Duran.

I don't know the where, or the when but the why hits me like ton of bricks as we pull away, my eyes slowly open, staring back into his. He held my hand before he ever kissed me. He kept the first promise he ever made to me and danced with me, never complaining about my two left feet because somehow, I was able to match him step for step. He was there and ready to listen as I verbally sorted through my confusion over my first kiss. He pushed my fears aside and made me see the light in the possibility of a baby brother or sister. He worried about me. He made me embrace my talents and my dreams. Loving him had been inevitable from the beginning.

It was the familiar sound of the skipping foot steps down the stairs that made me pull out of his arms and head towards the fridge to grab a bottle of water. Just a few seconds later, Adriana came into the kitchen her eyes on her phone for a moment before she looked up, her mouth dropping open slightly as she took in Eddie's presence "Hi Eddie!" I was fairly sure that she hadn't meant for her voice to go up three octaves.

After clearing his throat, Eddie gave Adriana a small smile "Hey Adriana, how's it going?"

She shrugged, "Good, school is a toats snoozapalooza right now though. You know how it is, exams and all that before spring break."

Making my way back over to the island, I took a seat on one of the island stools and took a sip of water, "How would you know? You never show up to class."

"I do too" her words were harsh as was the glare that shot daggers in my direction.

"Twice a week doesn't count Aid" she had made it pretty clear that only her friends were allowed to call her by her nickname. I wasn't trying to be immature but in all honesty, forgiveness was a quality I lacked. I could hold a grudge like nobody's business and she crashed into my car. I was still a little ticked.

Ignoring my comment, she faced Eddie once more "So what brings you here tonight?" It amazed me how she could go from spitting venom to a honey coated and sickly sweet voice.

Eddie nodded in my direction "I haven't seen Loren in a few days so I thought I'd stop in and say hi."

Adriana forced a smile "How sweet" then she turned to me. "So you really were doing laundry last night? I thought that might have been code for you going to see him."

"I wouldn't need a code for that."

Glancing between Eddie and I with uncertainty tied into her features she shrugged "Whatevs, I just came to grab a water bottle." The she brushed past us, grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge and made her way back down the hall and those same skipping steps were soon heard ascending the stairs.

"You two are so different" Eddie said with a laugh.

"Thank you." I reached into the bag, taking out a chocolate chip cookie and then nodded to the patio "Want to go outside? I can grab a blanket and we can have a makeshift picnic" I could feel my face lighten up at the idea and as a result Eddie's did as well, that same sparkle in his eye becoming a little brighter, his smile growing a little wider.

I'm not sure how long we had been outside for. It felt like minutes but time with Eddie usually came to a standstill, so it could have been hours. And all we did was talk.

We talked about his dad, who had recently joined the dating scene once again. Apparently he was seeing Daphne Miller, someone he had toured with back in the day. Eddie seemed genuinely happy that his dad was moving on, he seemed to have some reservations about Daphne though. "I guess I'm just afraid that by dating her, he's still holding onto the past." His reservation made sense. By dating Daphne, someone from his and Katy's past, he was holding on to what was, instead of looking at what could be.

We talked about my fears for the future. What leaving high school meant.

We talked about music, his favourite bands and mine. We talked about instruments we couldn't play but wished that we could. He said violin. I said clarinet.

We talked about cookies, as we both reached in the bag to grab one at the same time. He told me his favourite was chocolate chip. I told him mine was cinnamon. We both wondered what a cinnamon chocolate chip cookie would taste like. Then we decided that we would make a batch someday.

Throughout our conversation, we somehow wound up laying together, my head on his chest as we gazed up at the stars. They seemed to be shining a little brighter tonight. I wondered why.

"Can I ask you something?" I nodded, close enough to hear him when his voice was barely above a whisper, afraid to disrupt the silence of the night. That's what I loved about the nighttime. It's the one time of day when you feel like the world belongs to you. Everyone is in their separate rooms, dreaming their separate dreams and if you stay awake long enough there's a certain air to it, like you are the only one in existence. "What is it with you and the stars? I know you told me about your dad taking you to see the meteor shower when you were little but it seems like there's more to it than that."

I cracked a small smile "You know how they say that some of the stars we see in the sky have already burnt out but we're just now seeing their light? Well, I guess I always saw that as a sort of comfort. Like no matter what, if I want things to go back to the way they were, or if I want to rewind time and take something back, all I have to do is look up."

"Do you look up often?"

"I used to." I admitted, but then turned my face to lock my eyes into his "But lately I've been pretty happy with the way things are."

Suddenly, the alarm on my phone went off disrupting the nighttime silence. "What is that?"

I blushed, though the dark blanket surrounding us made that fact very unobvious. "I set my alarm for midnight."

"Why?"

My lips met his quickly and I pulled away less than an inch before whispering "I wanted to be the first to wish you a happy birthday."

This time his lips met mine.

This was supposed to be out days ago but thanks to a major blizzard that took place here my internet has been all over the place. I'm so sorry guys! Anyway, I hope you enjoyed!

Stay classy!

-Tia