Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

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A/N: In the immortal words of the Dropkick Murphys, "They call this Christmas where I'm from."

7220 words. Day-um.

"I Live" is posted on FanFiction, A Different Forest, and Archive of Our Own (AO3).

Age 18 and over, please. Thank you.

Stranger by Sookie Starchild

Chapter 21, I Regroup

Jasper's POV

I wished I knew why she kept running. At least I had my boots on that time, and Bella was wearing her old blue Converse. Not that we needed to wear shoes, and she would probably run them right off her feet.

But, when I was a newborn, I fought the other newborns — a lot. I could only imagine that when she was close to being overwhelmed, she ran. All the sensations bombarding her mind all at one time, and add to that the hurtful and disturbing news she had been faced with … I suppose I wasn't really that surprised that she would run instead of fight.

Was she running from those thoughts or was she running from me?

She wasn't heading in a straight line, either. If she kept curving around toward the right and east, she might run into Edward and the rest of them heading back to the house. I definitely wanted to catch her before that could happen. Edward had not been behaving normally, and I feared what he might do. Would he try to take her? Try to convince her to stay with him? I honestly could not see her going along with that, but just the thought of him making the attempt caused my teeth to grind together as a spark of jealousy flickered to life in my chest.

Rage grew hot and red within me, my fists clenched, and a growl rumbled through my chest.

No! She's mine!

I beat back the rage, pushed aside the jealousy, and concentrated on sending out reassurance and comfort. Whether she wanted me or not, I hoped that it would slow her or make her want to come back to me. She knew that I wanted her. Was she running because I wanted her so much?

She was still blocking her emotions from me, and I suspected she had figured out how to do that consciously. Before, she had blocked me when her emotions had become very strong, but then they had escaped. In the living room, her actions, and the timing, convinced me she was controlling them.

I could still pick up her scent, and the fact that there weren't any animals scurrying around, led me to believe I was on the right track and wasn't too far behind her. I couldn't hear her running through the pine needles and damp leaves that carpeted the ground, but I had to be getting closer.

At last, I spotted a flash of movement ahead of me through the trees.

"Bella! Stop!" Of course, calling to her would let her know that I was nearby, but what else could I have done? I saw a flicker of movement through the trees to the right, about fifty feet ahead. If that was her, and I was sure it was, I hoped I could head her off. I caught another whiff of her scent and darted for where I expected her to pass next to yet another grouping of rocks and boulders. I slowed as I neared the rocks and listened for her.

There was barely a whisper of sound, but there she was. I dove for her, catching her from the side, wrapping my arms around her. She squawked as I hit her. I twisted around so we'd end up with me on the bottom, to keep her from being shoved into the ground. We plowed into the earth, and I felt my t-shirt being torn away from my back as we slid through the rocky soil. I tried to force her legs up, but she had squirmed around so her back was to my chest, and then she kicked me in the right thigh like a fuckin' mule.

I had to grunt at that one. She pulled her left arm loose and elbowed me in the side of my chest so hard I heard the crack.

Ribs.

That one pulled another grunt out of me.

"Jesus Christ, Isabella, why the hell are you hittin' me?!" I was starting to get a little pissed off. I grabbed her left arm and held it perpendicular from our bodies, planning to flip us over.

"Dammit, Jasper, I want you to let me go!" She planted her feet on the ground on either side of my knees and shoved. With her newborn strength, she managed to flip both of us over my head. I yanked her left arm in, crossing it over her right that I was holding down across her body. Her hair was all over the damn place.

We landed on our knees, and I scrambled to stand before she got her feet situated again. As soon as I was standing, she curled her body, drawing up her legs, and kicked me in my left thigh. That hurt so goddamn bad my grip on her loosened, and she slithered out of my arms, falling to the bed of pine needles in front of me.

I didn't know how the hell my left leg wasn't broken.

My chest hit her back as I dropped to my right knee, my left leg stuck straight out behind me. She fell forward, sprawling in the leaves and pine needles. She recovered quickly and started to roll, but she turned in the wrong direction if she wanted to get away from me. She ran into my right leg, and my right arm I had braced against the ground. I grabbed both of her wrists and pinned them down on the ground, out to the sides.

Despite the pain in my left thigh, I forced it between her legs, followed quickly with my right. I spread her legs and dropped my weight on her. The top of her head was under my chin, and I couldn't stop myself from bending my head down and burying my nose in her hair near her ear, inhaling deeply — drawing in the scent that said home to me.

Even knowing my throat was exposed to her, and she could easily slice through it with her teeth if she wanted to, I didn't care. I was touching her skin again, and her inviting and tempting scent was filling my nose, my lungs, invading and taking over my mind — chasing away the anger I had briefly felt. I was lost in the essence of her, and it made me disregard everything else around me.

Everything except I was exactly where I longed to be. Where I had wanted to be since she woke up and had bitten me — my body covering hers, pressing against her, breathing in her scent, my lips against her skin.

She was struggling and breathing harshly, but when she realized I was inhaling her scent while nuzzling at her ear, she became still.

"Jasper, stop," she whispered.

When I pulled my face from her hair, I saw that her eyes were shut. I could not stop the pleading tone from creeping into my voice. "Why? Why should I stop? You know that I want you. You know that she threw me out."

"Because … because you're married. It's a promise that you made to each other." She squeezed her eyes even more tightly. "I think you both have broken that promise but you haven't even talked to each other. You … you need to talk. If she really meant to throw you out and if you want …" She clamped her lips closed.

I still couldn't feel her emotions, but she had a look of pain on her face. Her eyebrows were pulled together; her sensuous lips were turned down. She turned her face away from me and whispered, "You shouldn't be cheating on Alice. You need to talk to her."

Was I truly cheating on Alice? Yes. Technically, I was, even though Alice had removed my things from her room – in essence, throwing me out. Bella was right, of course. I knew that. But practically from the moment I had found her in her truck, I belonged to Bella, and my marriage to Alice was over. I just hadn't realized it at the time. Since Bella woke up, it seemed I couldn't think of anything but her. Hell, even before she woke up. When my skin came in contact with hers, when her scent overran my mind, all I wanted was to be next to her and feel her body against mine.

If she kicked me again, I might be momentarily distracted from those thoughts. Not that lying on top of her wasn't distracting me beyond all reason.

"What did you say before you ran from the house?" I breathed across her ear.

She inhaled my scent, and the look of pain deepened across her face.

"Bella," I whispered in her ear. I traced a path with my lips from her ear to the corner of her eye and kissed her lightly. "What did you say?"

She squeezed her eyes more tightly and tried to jerk her head away. "I … I said stop. You need to stop."

She wasn't going to tell me, and I did need to stop. I didn't want to force myself on her, though I wanted her so badly; so badly every part of me ached with longing for her. It was so frustrating, but she was right. I had made a promise to Alice, and I did need to talk to her.

Would Bella even be Bella if she could so easily disregard a promise she had made? How could I do any less? How could I behave so dishonorably? Edward had said I wasn't good enough for Bella, and I was proving him right. I was ashamed of myself and my actions.

As difficult as it was, I had to try harder. I knew she was struggling against her own instincts, and what she thought was the right thing to do, and I shouldn't make it even more difficult for her.

I reluctantly lifted my face away from her. "Will you run again if I let you up?"

"No. No, I won't run."

"What are you doing to her!?" From the deep shadows of the trees, Edward's voice was loud and accusing.

Oh God damn him to the eighth and ninth circles of Hell! Perfect fuckin' timing.

I supposed it was a good thing the stupid fucker announced his presence instead of just pouncing on me from the darkness. Well, it was good for him. Had he attacked me that would have led to his immediate dismemberment.

Growling deeply, I was on my feet, pulling Bella up with me and shoving her behind me. Ignoring my sore, healing ribs, I crouched slightly, preparing for Edward's attack, when I noticed my torn t-shirt flapping around me. I grabbed it at the neck, ripped it from my body, and threw it to the ground.

Bella was pressed up against my back, her left hand was at my left hip, and the fingers of her right hand found their way to just above my right elbow — a pose similar to earlier in the day. There was a low rumble beginning in her chest.

"Edward, stop right there," I warned him.

He stalked closer and stopped about thirty feet in front of us. Standing rigidly, his rage and jealousy were pushing out in front of him. A flicker of lust curled around the edges of his seething emotions, and I felt my hackles rise.

"What, in God's name, were you doing to her? Were you trying to take her on the ground like a …"

Emmett came barreling up behind him, reaching around and slapping his hand down over Edward's mouth as his other arm wrapped around Edward's chest. "Edward, you better shut up."

Bella snarled, and her blazing hot fury pulsed outward. She jumped to the right and leapt toward Edward. I stepped forward to reach for her leg and, unbelievably, my left thigh cramped, and I missed her. I lurched forward, but caught myself before I hit the ground.

What the fuck!?

Carlisle flew from between the trees, and Rosalie, a look of panic on her face, was barely a step behind him. Carlisle darted in front of Edward and Emmett, catching Bella in his arms, as Rosalie slammed into Edward and Emmett, knocking them to the ground.

Bella's momentum sent Carlisle stumbling backwards, and they thudded onto the ground and bounced. He flung his arms around her, capturing her arms between their chests, and he flipped over, trapping her against the ground with his body. She snarled again, her teeth barely an inch from his face.

All rational thought fled as black, murderous rage filled my head. In that moment, all my mind could comprehend was that another male had my mate pinned to the ground, and he needed to die. I roared.

Fear. Jagged fear and terror arced through the air around me. I smelled it, I felt it. It shot out from all of them, except for my mate. She didn't fear me. Her anger sizzled and snapped through the air, and I heard her snarl again at the male who was holding her down.

The words he was shouting made no sense to me as I charged him, my hands forming claws to rip him to shreds. His eyes flew open in fear, and he flipped over onto his back, releasing my mate from his hold.

As she twirled away from him, two vampires rammed me from the left, knocking me off my feet. I hit the ground and spun away. As I gained my feet, my mate was on me, wrapping herself around me, and pushing me back. One of her arms circled my neck, her hand going to my hair. The other was under my right arm and across my back. Then her legs were around my waist, gripping me tightly. I inhaled her scent and clutched her to me, pressing her head into the right side of my neck. I stepped back and blasted the entire area with lassitude and lethargy. Every vampire in front of us ceased their movement and collapsed bonelessly to the ground.

I held my mate to me for many long minutes, my nose in her hair, breathing in her enticing and reassuring scent. I didn't know how long it was, but her firm touch, her soothing scent, and her soft voice eventually began to break through my rage.

She pulled back to look into my eyes. "Jasper, it's okay." Her right hand moved to my face and her thumb brushed across my lips. "It's okay."

I kissed her thumb and breathed in her comforting scent. I turned my nose into her hair and inhaled deeply again. I kissed her temple and then realized I needed to taste her skin. I lightly licked her temple, drawing in her rich, spicy scent and taste. I pressed my lips to her temple again.

My mate knew when I needed her. She knew when I needed to touch her, feel her, smell her.

"Don't hurt them. Please, don't hurt them."

I stroked her hair and pressed my lips to her forehead as I observed the immobilized vampires.

"Did he hurt you?" I tilted her head back to look into her brilliant red eyes. "Did. He. Hurt. You?"

"No. He didn't hurt me." She gently stroked my face. "He did not hurt me. Please don't hurt them."

I saw the anxiety in her eyes, and I felt her concern and worry for them. I would do anything for her, but I would not promise not to hurt them — not kill them — until after I had made sure she had not been harmed.

Since the barrage of emotions I was sending out would keep them disabled and helpless on the ground, I knew I wouldn't have to worry about them while I examined my mate.

"Let me see." As much as I wanted — needed — to feel her in my arms, keep her close to my body, I also needed to look at her. My hands slid to her waist. I pulled her from me and set her on the ground.

I bent forward to touch my lips to her forehead and breathe in her scent, and my hands moved to cup her beautiful face. They glided down over the silky skin of her neck and over her shoulders, brushing away the pine needles. As I skimmed over her arms to her hands, I leaned in to kiss her. I needed to feel her skin. I needed to taste her. I gently kissed her, my tongue brushing lightly across her lips, and I kissed her again.

"Jasper, I'm okay. I'm right here."

"I need …" I dropped to my knees in front of her, my hands going to her waist and following the curves over her hips and down the outside of her legs. She appeared all right to me. I crushed her to me, working my hands under the hem of her shirt so that I could feel her skin, burying my face in her stomach.

"You're all right?" I asked again as I continued to breathe in her scent.

"Yes. I'm all right."

I was so relieved, and it struck me that "relieved" was such an inadequate word for what I was feeling. My mate, my Bella, was unharmed. She was here, in my arms, and he had not hurt her.

Her hands were on my head, her fingers combing steadily through my hair and flowing gently down my neck and over my shoulders. "Jasper, I'm fine. I told you I was fine. Are you okay?"

I melted into her touch as her fingers stroked and caressed my head. Her hands came back to my face, and she urged me to look up at her.

"Jasper, look at me. Are you okay?"

"Yes. They didn't hurt you." I had no other words to better express how I felt. There were no words satisfactory enough to explain the complete relief, the immense pleasure — the utter rightness — of my mate, safe and well, and in my arms.

"No, they didn't. What did you do to them? Why aren't they getting up?"

It seemed the rest of my brain was finally catching up. When he had Bella on the ground, I had lost all rational thought and only wanted to protect my mate — tear him away from her and then rip him apart.

I turned her slightly to look past her at the vampires lying on the ground. As I stood, I ran my hands carefully up the sides of her body then pulled her into my chest, her face at my heart, my body molding to hers. She had no idea how her touch mollified me, and eased my frantic mind. I think it was only her coming to me, and putting her arms around me, that had brought me back from that murderous rage and stopped me from destroying all of them. Even though she had pushed me away before, she seemed to know instinctively what she needed to do to bring me back and stop me from killing them all.

"I knocked them out. They won't get up until I let them."

"Is it hurting them?" She burrowed into me, her arms going around my waist.

"No. They are as close to unconscious as vampires can be. They aren't feeling any physical pain." I kissed the top of her head and decided that I could finally tell her I wouldn't destroy them without lying. "I won't hurt them."

I wouldn't kill them, but only because she had not been harmed.

She sighed in relief and squeezed my waist. Her hands slid up to my chest. "Then let them go. Let them up. I know Edward was being an asshole, but Emmett was only trying to stop him. Then Carlisle was only trying to stop me from getting to Edward and ripping something else off him." She pulled away from me, her hands sliding down to my stomach. She looked up at me with small smile on her face.

My hands cupped her beautiful face, and I bent to softly kiss her lips, and she let me. But then she took a small step back and placed her fingers over my mouth.

"Your eyes are still black. You need to regroup or something. You need to let them go so they can get up." Her hand slid back down to the center of my chest, resting over my heart. "You know Esme and Alice only attacked you to keep you from hurting Carlisle?"

"Yes, I realize that."

"And you know that Rosalie only ran in to knock Emmett and Edward out of your way, right?"

"Yes." I stopped the lethargy and lassitude I was holding over them. "I'll let them go."

Bella took another step back away from me, but she kept her hand on my left arm. She moved to stand beside me, and stood quietly as we waited for the others to start moving.

The first to recover was Emmett.

"What the fuck?" He sat up, his hands going to the sides of his head. He spotted Rosalie lying on the ground, and in a flash, he was at her side as she began to stir. He lifted her into his arms and his face was in her neck, inhaling loudly as he stood up. "Rose. Rose, are you okay?"

Her hand went to her forehead. She shook her head. "Em!" Her hand flew to his face. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, Babe, I'm fine. Jasper didn't kill us."

"Jasper!" she snarled. "Emmett, let me down so I can kick his ass!"

"No, ya don't, Babe." He kissed her cheek with a loud smacking sound. "Well, you know she's all right if she's pissed off." Emmett squeezed her to his chest.

Bella raised her hand, palm out, to stop Rose. "Not a good idea, Rose. I just got him calmed down. Don't mess it up."

Carlisle was on his feet and darting toward Esme to help her up from the ground. They hugged each other tightly and whispered in each other's ears. They both extended hands to Alice as she slowly rose up from the ground.

Edward was the last to recover, and he moved deliberately and stiffly, as if he were feeling all of his one hundred years. He glanced around at everyone and then looked toward Bella and me. A sense of profound sadness, despair, and loss drifted sluggishly from him. He ran his fingers through his hair, dislodging twigs and leaves, as he took in a shuddering breath.

"Bella," he began hesitantly. He sighed heavily. "Bella, I think we need to thank you. I believe you just saved all our lives." His darkened eyes dropped to the ground, and some embarrassment joined his disconsolate cocktail of emotions. "My behavior has been … erroneously proprietary and inappropriate, and I promise you that I will try to … contain it."

I wasn't the only one that felt shock at what Edward had just confessed. Rosalie and Emmett gawked at him with wide eyes, and even Esme and Carlisle took a moment before they snapped their jaws shut. Alice, standing behind Carlisle, just blinked and cocked her head to stare at him.

Bella gaped at him wide-eyed, mouth hanging open.

I stood silently and watched them all. I noticed Edward didn't promise me anything, but I really wouldn't expect him to. Evidently, he realized I could have killed them all and wouldn't have thought twice about it. And he was right; the only thing that saved them was Bella.

"Er … thank you, uh, Edward." Bella snatched her hand from my arm and clasped her fingers together nervously. Then she crossed her arms over her chest, and she dropped her head to stare at the ground. "I … uh … I'll try not to bite you anymore." She glanced up at him. "Or rip off anything else. But I don't think I can make any promises about that right now. I …"

"I know, Bella." He looked at her with yearning in his eyes. His gaze flicked to me and there was a burst of resentment from him. His eyes dropped to study the ground again. "I remember what it was like to be a newborn. I should have … I should've kept that in mind."

Fear still clouded the air, but it was beginning to dissipate. Rosalie was still angry, but I knew she would get over it in time to find another reason to kick my ass. She could just add it to the list.

Carlisle turned toward us. "Jasper, how are you feeling?"

"I'm good," I said quietly.

"Did something happen at the house?" He looked to Esme and back to Bella and me. "I thought you would be there."

Esme took in a small, nervous breath. "Jasper was telling Bella about the accident and how she had been bitten by another vampire before he found her."

Bella stepped toward me and took hold of my left arm above my elbow again. Her light touch again soothed me, causing a sense of peace to spread through me. I wanted to wrap her in my arms, but I felt she wouldn't be receptive to it. I believed she felt the need to touch me also, but wouldn't because of her concern over Alice's feelings.

"Then Jasper told me he bit me to add more venom and … and … I …" She glanced around at everyone. I felt her uneasiness, and as her eyes passed over Edward, disillusionment and then anger surged. She quickly suppressed it all. Edward had hurt her so many times, and he was continuing to cause her pain.

When I had told her that I was the one who had bitten her, I knew she had been surprised, relieved, and grateful but then she had blocked her emotions from me. I didn't know what had caused her to become upset and run again. It had felt almost like she had been hiding something.

Edward's sense of loss, then his jealousy, with a touch of regret, flowed outward and I pushed back against it. He had apologized to her, but I still didn't trust him. He was coming to see just how much he had truly lost.

Esme stepped away from Carlisle. "I'm not sure why, but Bella became upset and ran from the house."

"It was everything, and the thought of another vampire being there. I don't remember anyone." Bella's hand shook on my arm. "And Edward …" She trailed off and squeezed her eyes shut, a jolt of pain crossing her features. She took a deep breath as she gradually reopened her eyes. "Besides that, I know there's more."

I put my hand over hers and tried to send her my encouragement and the peace that I felt when she touched me.

"Stop it, Jasper." She glanced up at me and frowned. She blocked her emotions from me. I knew she had gained some control over that. I wished she hadn't.

She looked back toward Carlisle. "There's more isn't there? They all think I'm dead, right? Everyone thinks I'm dead." She snatched her hand away from me and crossed her arms, gripping her own upper arms. "Everybody. I'm dead to them." She began to pace.

"There was someone … I know there was someone important to me." She stopped in front of me and searched my eyes. "Blond hair … a woman," she whispered.

"Yes. I tried to remind you of people and things in your life, while you were burning." I stepped toward her, reaching out to her. "I don't know everything, but I told you what I could."

She began to tremble. "Blond hair …" Her face crumpled with her distress. "Renee! My mother!" She began to pace again more quickly, her arms flying out away from her body. "I'll never see her again. And … Charlie! What about Charlie?" She suddenly stopped, her whole body shaking. "My parents. I'll never see them again. They think I'm dead!" Her hands flashed back to her arms and she tightly clenched the fabric of the sleeves, ripping holes in them.

"Oh goddammit! I liked that shirt!" She tore away the sleeves and threw them to the ground. She squeezed her eyes shut and held her arms rigidly at her sides.

She was struggling, trying to rein in her out-of-control emotions, and I longed to help her.

"Bella, I can help you." I stepped toward her.

She spun away from me. "No! I can do it!" She came to an abrupt stop a couple yards from Carlisle and Esme, and she trembled as she fought to control her emotions.

Alice had been standing behind Carlisle, and she peeked around his side. She was uneasy and a bit apprehensive, but she wasn't afraid.

Bella spun to face me again. "What else? What do they think happened to me?"

I raised my hand toward her again, reaching out to her. "They all think you are dead and a giant bear dragged you away from the crash scene."

"Giant bear? What giant bear?" She began to pace again, flashing from right to left. She stopped in front of me again, closer that time, studying my eyes. "The werewolves are the giant bears. That's what everyone thinks they are."

"Yes." I knew she needed the comfort and security I could give to her, and I needed to go to her, but she kept fighting it.

She turned away from me again. "Carlisle. What else? Is there something else?"

"Yes, there is. A memorial has been scheduled for you on Thursday at ten o'clock. That's two days from now." Carlisle looked at her with such sadness in his eyes.

All of them were feeling sadness and a bit of pity for her. We had all been through some form of this, except for Alice. We all had had to face the thought that our human families would go on, following custom and tradition, and would have had some sort of memorial. They would have tried to find closure at funerals where there would be no one to say good bye to and no body to lay to rest.

It was good to have that information, despite the sadness in the air and the obvious pain it was causing Bella. That would be the day that I would take her away from Forks. The entire town would probably turn out to pay their respects to the Police Chief's daughter. The whole town and the surrounding areas would be distracted that day. It would be the best time to slip away.

Bella stood staring at Carlisle. Her shoulders began to shake, and she darted to me, placing a hand on my chest. "Did you know about this?"

"No, I didn't. I've been with you." I put my right hand over hers. "I see you struggling. Let me help you."

"No!" She pulled her hand away and stepped back. "What else? I see it in your eyes, Jasper. What else?"

I inhaled a deep breath, to take in her scent and to steady myself, wishing she would allow me to comfort her. "I will be taking you away from here. Emmett and Rose will be going with us. I've decided we will leave on Thursday."

I heard various gasps and all eyes turned to me. I felt their surprise and then I felt a flare of possessiveness from Edward. At a sharp glance and a snarl from me, he quickly buried it. Emmett and Rosalie turned to look at each other and nodded. I knew they understood why we would be leaving that day. Alice was sending out some sadness, and Esme and Carlisle were resigned. They all knew that Bella couldn't stay here.

"Leave? Why do we have to leave?" she wailed. She spun away from me, her hands jerking to the sides of her head. She gripped two handfuls of her hair and bent over at the waist. "Leave? Leave Forks? This is my home!"

She dropped to her hands and knees, threw her head back, and screamed, drawing her fists up. Her entire body was shaking. Her anguish and despair burst from her, and struck me with such a heavy blow I stumbled back away from her, my right hand moving to clutch at my chest. Such pain! It poured from her. Too much had happened, and it was all crashing down on her.

I saw the others move to step toward her, and I waved them off. Bella needed me, but I knew she would try to run again.

"I live here. This is my home!" she howled. In a blur, she was on her feet and running.

I leapt and tackled her, once again wrapping my arms and legs around her and forcing her head down. We rolled across the forest floor, coming to a stop not far from the rest of them. She struggled and fought against me, trying to get away.

I forced us upright and held her securely against me. "Bella, don't run. It'll be okay. I'm right here."

"No! No!" she cried out. "No!"

"I can help you. Let me help you." I turned her so her arms were against my chest. " I'm right here. I won't leave you."

"Is that it, or is there something else?" Her voice cracked as she forced her head up to look at me, venom tears making her black eyes shine.

"That's it, Bella," I said quietly to her.

Her face crumpled again with her heartache. "Forks is my home! I can't leave." She tried to elbow me again, but I held her too tightly. "I … I live here! Charlie is here!"

I saw Edward take a step toward us, and Emmett grabbed his arm to stop him. "We've been doing this all day, Edward. He'll calm her down."

I tried to send reassurance and peace to Bella, but it wasn't getting through. She was blocking me again.

"Let me help you, Bella." I spoke quietly into her ear. "I can help you."

"No!" She shoved against my chest. "I can't leave! Charlie's here. He needs me!"

"That's why we can't stay here. You can't see Charlie. You could kill him."

"No!" she cried and then she screamed again. She managed to get one leg free and kicked against the ground.

As we started to roll over, I straightened out her arms when she was face down to the ground. I forced my legs between hers and dropped my weight on her. "Bella, listen to me. We can't stay. We need to get you away from here so no one sees you — so you don't hurt anyone."

She started growling at me and tried to head butt me. I pushed her head down with mine. "Shhhhhh, Bella. I'm right here. I will help you." I repeated words I had spoken to her while she had been burning with my venom. Her emotions crashed into me again, and I reached out to capture that dark wave. Her despair, anguish, and deep, deep grief funneled into me, and I caught it all and contained it. I replaced it with my reassurance, my comfort, and my understanding. I filled her with my respect and admiration, and the serenity I felt when her skin touched mine.

After several long minutes, her breaths slowly calmed and her struggles ceased. I whispered into her ear. "Bella, we can't stay here. We're too close to Forks and all the humans. I know you don't want to hurt any of them."

Her body shook with her tearless sobs. "I don't want to hurt them. Some of them are my friends. I wouldn't want anyone's family to …" She sobbed again.

"I know. I know you don't want to hurt them. So we can't stay here. You need to be away from them." I kissed her temple. "I can take care of you, but it's good to have help. That's why Rose and Emmett are coming with us. You won't be alone. You won't be by yourself. I will not leave you."

She sniffled and relaxed further, shifting her head. I lifted mine from hers, but kept my lips near her ear, breathing in her scent. "I know this is a lot for you to take in, but it will be all right. I'll take care of you. I will help you. I'm right here. I won't leave you."

"Yes," she whispered quietly, "as bad as it was, you stayed with me." She inhaled deeply and slowly let the breath back out. "But Charlie, Angela, and Ben, and … and Jacob … I won't ever see them again."

"No, you won't. You can't. Seeing you would bring danger to them and to us."

Her brow furrowed. "There's some kind of treaty with Jake? With the wolves?"

I was amazed again at how much she seemed to remember. "Yes, we have a treaty with Jacob Black and the wolves. If they see you, they will assume one of us bit you. My biting you broke the treaty. They'd come after us."

She whimpered. "I don't want Jacob to be hurt. Please don't hurt him, Jasper," she pleaded.

More jealousy, bitterness, and a flash of resentment flared from Edward. I glanced over at him and saw that, fortunately, Emmett still had a tight grip on his arm.

I lightly kissed Bella's smooth cheek. "I don't want to hurt Jacob Black," I said as I narrowed my eyes in warning at Edward.

"Thank you, Jasper," she whispered. "I don't want any of the wolves to be hurt."

"I know you don't. That's why we need to leave."

"You have a plan? You all always have a plan, right?"

I smiled at her. "Yes," I whispered back to her. "Emmett, Rosalie, and I are supposed to be away at school anyway. We will not be missed. Edward and Alice should stay here and finish the school year." I glared at Edward. "Any other details will have to be worked out when I can talk with the others, but there really isn't much more than that."

Her eyes had lost their wild look, and she was breathing evenly. "Where are we going?"

"I have a place that is rather isolated. It's not really that far from here. It'll be our new home for a while."

"Where is it? Do you have a house?" Her voice was a breathy whisper.

"At this time, I don't want to say where it is. I'm not sure that the other vampire that bit you left the area." As her emotions began to register fear, I reinforced the tranquility and peace that I felt being in contact with her.

"Don't be afraid. I will protect you. If he should happen to be around, I don't want him to hear where we are going. No one here knows where it is. Once we are on the road and away from Forks, I'll tell you. And yes, I have a house."

"Is it a house like this one here?"

"No. It's not nearly as big as this one."

She nodded slightly. "Can you let me up now? I won't run. I think I probably need another bath."

I had to chuckle at her. "I'll let you up. Do you want me to keep influencing you?"

"Yes. For now." She smiled at me.

I released her wrists and slid my hands up her arms to feel her silky skin. I just could not resist, even though we had an audience.

I rose slowly, and when I was on my feet, I extended my hand to her. She took it and allowed me to help her up. She gave me a small smile.

"Thank you for helping me, Jasper, but you can stop now. I should feel all that so I can work it out. Deal with it. You calming me is like somebody taking drugs or drinking to numb their pain. It doesn't really make it go away."

"I know. You're right. It will all hurt, but …" I smiled encouragingly back at her. "If you need me, just say so." I stopped sending her those peaceful emotions and waited.

It took a moment, but her face crumpled again in grief, and she brought her hands to her face and sobbed. It tore at me to see her in pain, and I touched her arm.

"Don't, Jasper. I need … I need to do this." She inhaled a shuddering breath. "I won't ever be able to see any of them again." She took a step back and wiped her eyes. Then she stared at her hands. "All this, and I can't even fuckin' cry!"

Esme stepped forward, opening her arms to Bella.

"Oh, Esme!" Bella ran to her and threw her arms around her.

"I know how it is, Bella. Sometimes I think it would be a great release to be able to shed tears." Esme stroked Bella's head and wrapped her arm around her shoulders. Bella sobbed into her chest, her shoulders heaving.

Letting Bella cry, Esme stood quietly, slowly running her hand over Bella's head and down her back while murmuring, "I know, Bella. I know."

"Esme." Bella's voice cracked with her sobs. "How do you stand leaving people behind?"

"We all have had to leave someone behind." Esme's arms tightened around Bella, and her eyes closed for a moment. "Our family here has been a blessing. They have all been a great comfort to me, but what has helped me the most is knowing I have Carlisle. He has been beside me through some very difficult times."

Bella's head turned a bit in Esme's arms, and her shining eyes shifted to look back at me. Not for the first time, I wished I could know what she was feeling. Unconsciously, my hand reached for her, and I ached to have her in my arms — be the one to comfort her.

Her eyes closed and she pressed her face into Esme's shoulder and sobbed again.

Esme stroked Bella's hair. "You know we will help you."

After several minutes, Bella pulled back from her and sniffed.

Esme lightly cupped Bella's cheek with her hand. "Did you want to go back to the house and get another shower?"

Bella sniffed again, even though there was no need, and nodded her head. "Can Rose come with us?"

"Of course she can, dear. We'll both help you."

Rosalie came forward, and Esme, keeping an arm around Bella's shoulders, turned and started walking in the direction of the house.

She looked over her shoulder at us. "We'll see all of you a little later, okay?"

We all nodded at her and watched them walk slowly away. I didn't want to be away from Bella while she was feeling such heartache and loss, but Esme and Rosalie would be with her. They certainly understood grief and loss.

I did need to talk to Alice, and I needed to try and firm up my plans with Emmett and Carlisle.

When Bella, Esme, and Rose were far enough away, I turned toward Alice.

"Jasper, we need to talk."

She had beaten me to it.

"Yeah, we do."

.