Hello! Yeah, reading the reviews as I previously typed these chapters about a month out made me realize how many people will be disappointed. I can't care though, the added drama is so much worth than a quick fix.

It was quite interesting to read how you readers react to the chapters and I needed to remind myself that I already know what happens in my story. I myself enjoyed typing this up rather than just read other author's works. I'm at the point where if I wanted a new OC fic to read, I had to write one myself.

I know there are a lot of errors in my story, whether it'd be grammar, spelling, or timeline wise but all this is typed up on WordPad seeing Microsoft Word is a bitch to even get on my computer. And for the timeline, I'm actually making it an effort to scrounge around for the timeline and many sites have different things so I can't help with any inconsistancies and I don't really care at this point. Pre-cannon is a bitch to catalog chronologically anyways.

August 14, 2017- Finished.
October 4, 2017- Edited.

-Line Break-

There were so many ways to fuck with people with my job. Inspections, audits, backlogging their papers, and forwarding them to the wrong people. There were so many more ways too, it wasn't funny at how much power I had with these pieces of paper with ink on them.

It was just the sheer amount that put people off and the necessary work ethic required to fuck people over. I like to give the desk jockies the benefit of the doubt and say that their brain cells were too fried to think of Shadow Clones and that their brains were too small to store so much evolving information to keep up with.

For example, there was this business man that asked for a lot of iron to build the foundation for this building. A building that was far too small for the amount that he was asking. It was easy to follow that paper trail to realize that he was dipping his hand in the black market where he could ship off the excess iron to sell to the neighboring countries and fuel the war.

It was so easy to find his backers and rip them away from him. Slip some papers in the right outbox, loose some papers by accident, burn the evidence of sabotage, and watch the sheep get eaten up. It was too easy to fuck with people like him to where I would leave them alone but extending the war meant higher chances of my own dying.

I will not have weapons be made because of materials that can be approved through a single signature. My own will not fall to these kinds of weapons, weapons made by betrayal.

"Still working hard I see."

I grunted and glared at Akio. "What do you want?"

"Come on! You look like the dead!" He flailed. "I'm distracting y-"

He yelped when I drove a kunai into my desk, near his hand. "Go away."

"Shit, Yuu-chan!" The platinum blonde whined. "I was joking! The Hokage wanted to see you." He nursed his hand. "Why can't you be nice to me? You always aim at me!"

"You're annoying." I snapped and got up. "What does he want?"

"I don't know, he was looking at his paperwork before sighing tiredly before asking for you." Akio responded. "Fuck, I like this hand, I use it-"

I threw another kunai before setting off. The wide berth the terrified passerbyers gave me gave me a smooth path to the Hokage's office. The familiar sight of the aging man at his desk smoking his pipe. His being relaxed at the sight of me and I growled lowly at the headache that was about to come.

"Yuu-kun."

I gave a tired sigh. "Yes sir?"

The Hokage rubbed his beard. "When was the last time you took leave?"

"When I went to train with the Lizards?" I gave him a confused look.

"You don't take time to relax yourself do you?" He commented. "You have a young life ahead of you, why don't you take this time to do what you want rather than get ahead of your shinobi life?"

"Excuse me?"

"I'll see you in a week."

"What?"

-Line Break-

I found myself stripped of my uniform and in civilians by Minato. He learned last time to not to take away my weapons, or force me down a fucking street. But he did kick me out of the apartment and told me to go house shopping.

"Yuu-kun?" I looked up to see Ren and Tsume together.

"Birdy!" Tsume cheered. "I haven't seen you in ages! Looking good too!"

"What are you doing? You usually aren't near civilization." Ren looked at me.

I scowled. "The Hokage forced vacation on me and nii-chan is making me house shopping." I continued to lean against the tree. "I waiting for lunch to be over."

Tsume snorted. "Of course you are, social interaction is the one weakness that the great Torito Yuu has. God forbid someone touches you too."

Kuromaru snorted. "It's surprising with how the bird was back at the academy."

Minato already aquired land, I just needed to find a contractor in construction and choose a design. There wasn't a place in hell that'll ever make me cave and go to a civilian so I searched out a ninja alternatives. I found one and I'm currently waiting out the lunch rush.

Honestly, Minato's little family plan was so obvious but it makes me happy that he still thinks of me. I'm still not moving in with them, I'm getting an apartment or building my own place far away from them.

It was a nice day too, maybe I could getaway and sleep in a tree.

"Yuu-kun?" I looked back up to see Ren. "Are you alright?"

"Just tired, I want to go to sleep soon." I leaned my head back and yawned. "Making jonin yet?"

"I'm staying as a career chunin if I can." Ren responded. "I've seen what you do."

I waved him off. "It's not bad."

"That's because you're a workaholic." Tsume chirped. "You always kept yourself busy and even though you didn't do academy work, you were always working on something back then."

"The academy was bullshit." My eyes wandered throught the park. "At least in the office, I can do whatever I want. My time isn't being wasted uselessly."

"Ever the practical busy body." Tsume sighed. "You need a pet, want to adopt a runt?"

"I don't keep pets. I released your bird, what makes you think I'll keep your dog?"

"Dogs are useful! Your own little runt likes them too!"

"Kakashi isn't a very good example." I said blandly. "And I rather not having unnecessary barking near me."

"That's why you train them!"

"Whatever."

Then something caught my eye and I walked away from the park I was resting in. The confused sounds that came from my companions were ignored and I went away from the quiet setting and nearer to the crowds.

It seems like Shikaku finally listened and is happy with Yoshino dragging him around. Their arms were locked and Shikaku had that annoyed fond look that he rarely gives. It was obvious that he made his choice, the smart choice. Finally gave up on me.

They were good for eachother, Yoshino will drag his lazy ass around and Shikaku won't be cropping up issues because of it. They were happy together and I'm happy for them.

So why did I feel so disappointed?

-Line Break-

"Bitchface!" I continued on after socking the perverted pig in the face. "Why did you do that?!"

I stalked away from the supposed immortal. "I really do not want to deal with you."

"C'mon! I'll go back to calling you Yuu-chan then!" I heard him trot behind me. "What are you doing in Taki? Wanting to join in on the slaughter between Iwa and Kumo?"

I sighed and stopped. "Why are you so fixiated on me?"

"Do I have to keep repeating myself? Jashin-sama- hey, you can't just walk away after asking me a question!"

I was tired and I didn't want to listen to his Jashin-bullshit, any conversation would've been distracting if he didn't bring up his religion.

Recently, I've been getting more and more tired, mentally tired. Kame said that it's normal seeing Sage training is literally a mental exercise for the Lizards and after my last episode it's been more taxing seeing they did bumped up my training. I've been staying under that stupid waterfall for longer hours.

My excess Yin chakra is being forced to cooperate with the other chakras and it's been making me tired. The intake of natural chakra was expanding my senses and it was hard to concentrate on anything. I swear to whatever god up there that I was physically turning into a lizard too. Not just going into Sage mode but actually finding myself develop concerning habits.

I was starting to nap on rocks and find myself ducking into my blankets to escape this chill that I've developed. My pupils even slitted when I stared at the mirror the other day, Maki seemed to be unconcerned and was estatic instead. I don't really know how to feel about this other than wait for the claws to set in properly.

It's been good though, I haven't had any episodes and I've been left alone quite a lot because the others didn't really know how to drag me out of the apartment without going into the village. They still try but we all just hang out in the apartment or I'll find myself at sensei's house for dinner.

I have been sleeping a lot in my free time though.

"Yuu-chan, when did you grow out your claws? I bet they'll look great in an Iwa-fucker's neck." Hidan snaked his hands up my back. "But I bet they'll be clawing for the bedsheets after I'm done with you." He purred.

I jerked and growled at him. "Stay away from me."

"But you have such a pretty blush." Hidan came closer to me. "I fucking bet that your body would be even more fucking red when I'm making you my bitch."

I struck him and pinned the man into the ground and jammed a senbon into his shoulder. "Since you're so eager to play, I'll play." I leaned in close. "That one was a special paralytic that causes nerve damage."

"Oh?" Hidan purred and placed his hands on my hips. "Kinky."

I frowned before jamming two more senbon in him. "Seems like your little healing factor is a lot more stronger than I thought." I murmured. "It's not a very strong poison but we need to work our way up."

And I continued to straddle him as I watched him react in pain to the verious poisons I've introduced. I was annoyed that if I wanted the poisons to work, I needed to introduce larger doses and my more powerful poisons just made him groaning in nausea.

But it was satisfying to see him pin-cushioned at my power. I can't kill him for shit but I can definately inflict as much pain as I can to at least get something out of this encounter.

"Are we done?" Hidan looked up seemingly over his stomach ache.

I sighed. "I guess, ran out of poisons to try on-" I yelped and I was on the bottom.

Hidan smirked and pulled out a senbon in his arm. "My body can easily destroy poisons with time." He jammed the needle into me and I cried out in surprise. "So don't worry about getting poisoned yourself."

The senbons themselves didn't hurt, I was trained by the world's greatest medic for god's sake. But where Hidan aim made me jerk and move in ways that I know he was doing it on purpose. I was sweating with how my nerves were getting extremely sensitive.

"Y-you bastard." I shivered as he traced my neck.

"I've learned a little bit of the body." Hidan started. "Can't sacrifice properly if the sacrifices die too fucking fast. Jashin-sama, you're so fucking sexy." I blushed as he leaned in to bite my neck.

My breath hitched and his tongue trail up to my lips and I struggled when he forced his way into my mouth. I found enough strength to kick him off when I felt his hand slid down my pants and squeezed.

I immediately started removing my senbon and gave a flustered glare at the advancing immortal. "You fucking pig." I hissed.

Hidan just laughed. "You fucking enjoyed that as much as I did, though I'm surprised, you're bigger than I thought you'd be. I fucking bet you get turned on at the thought of being held down like that. I'm surprised that a virgin like you is still a virgin." He was now just a foot away from me. "I still bet you're a screamer."

I lunged and Hidan just caught me. He pinned me to a tree and grinded against me. I gasped and I could feel his hardness heating up and growing.

"You feel that?" Hidan growled. "I appreciated the fucking foreplay a lot but I want the main show now."

Instead of answering, I headbutted the zealot with him recoiling from the pain. "L-like I'm going to sleep with you." I snarled and spat at him. "I'm not a person that gets lost in the moment so you can go fuck yourself with your stupid scythe you perverted pig!"

My vision went slightly blurry and I grasped my head but I quickly escaped from the area. I needed to get out of here before I start to lose myself, I should've just took off instead of poisoning Hidan. It would have saved me the energy and pain.

I climbed as high as I could before settling on a branch. I was grateful my mission was already completed and I still had a lot of time to get back. I need a break. A real one.

When I get back, I'm taking a long leave, find an apartment and just sleep for a long while. I'll steal one of Minato's privacy seals and slap on the door and sleep. I'll ignore everything and just sleep.

After leaving a note for Minato.

-Line Break-

I yawned trudging behind Scarlet who was skipping happily. We were both dressed up in kimonos after going shopping for them, we were all fancied up for Hitomi's birthday seeing she was the future matriarch of the Hyuugas. I was in the middle of my hibernation when Scarlet came busting through.

"I can't believe you got an apartment so you could just sleep." Scarlet complained. "Minato is still sulking about you moving out."

I sleepily followed her. "He's eighteen. He'll live."

Scarlet looked like she wanted to say something but just shook her head. "What did you get for Hitomi-chan? What's so fragile that you need a special scroll for it?"

"You'll see."

"C'mon! I tell you what I got for her." She held a nicely wrapped present.

I looked away uninterested. "I don't exactly care."

Scarlet frowned before pouting. "Can you at least act like it?"

"No."

"You're so stingy." She huffed.

We arrived at the compound and I instantly dropped off the scroll with the other gifts and hid next to a dark corner. I was nervous and annoyed, the things I do for others will kill me one day and it's not going to be on the battlefield. I'm going to die in social suffication if I haven't killed myself first.

I twitched watching everyone, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be though. I could see the Uchiha couple talk pleasantly with some Hyuugas, Minato was talking adamantly with Kushina and some other person, I watched Hitomi and Hiashi meet and greet the others fluttering people to people.

The chatter was an unidentifiable murmur and the food was delicate. I relaxed slightly feeling that there's no danger, nothing to set me off.

"Yuu-chan!" Akio greeted me. "You look amazing! I didn't know purple looked good on you."

"Thanks." I muttered. "Is the others here as well?"

Akio nodded. "In the other rooms, they're enjoying the alcohol."

I scrunched up my face. "I think I'll pass."

"C'mon Yuu-chan! Live a little!"

"Alcohol and I don't mix." I said grimacing. "I do not want a repeat performance."

Akio stopped before shuttering. "I think I can see why, rather not get violent here." I turned away letting him come to his conclusions. "But you can't just stay here all night."

"Watch me." I pulled on my kimono. "I'm not going to leave this area, it's not... aggrivating." I hid my hands in my sleeves as I crossed my arms.

"Yuu-chan." Akio looked at me like I was helpless. "Then I'll keep you company then!" He perked up. "Your hair has gotten longer, I see Kushina-chan tried to put it up."

Scarlet put a purple accessory with a lizard in my hair after trying to pull it back. She said that I can't go to a party like this without dressing up fully, even though I didn't want to come in the first place. She also said it'll waste the kimono, whatever that means.

"Yeah." I took a lock of my hair. "She's too excited for these thing."

"Hey Yuu-chan?" I looked up to Akio who wasn't smiling anymore. "I'm, I'm sorry that you're going through a lot of shit. You- you've lost a lot of your energy you know?"

"I know." I felt muted. "It's fine though."

Akio looked at me defeated. "Is it really? If this is fine then what are you when you're not?"

"I'll be fine." I didn't look at him. "I'm trying."

"I think out of all of us, you're trying too hard to keep us safe."

"Then what else am I supposed to do?" I said bitterly. "I don't have any goals to strive for and you guys are the only things that are keeping me here."

Akio just smiled at me fondly. "We care about you too Yuu-chan, you aren't the only one fighting for-"

A scream was sounded and my blood ran cold, we both rushed towards the room where the scream sounded and I was tackled as I came in. I tensed and sucked in my breath before looking that I had a teary Hitomi in my arms with the biggest smile. My lips turned into a grimaced at the close contact and the fact that I had an emotional woman clinging to me.

"Oh, thank you, Yuu-kun! It's so beautiful!" She gushed.

I blinked confused. "What?"

"Get off of Torito, Hitomi." Hiashi gathered her up. "She means the painting."

Mikoto looked at it longingly. "It's so beautiful, where did you get this commisioned?"

"Yeah." Kushina at it with equal reverance. "I would love a painting too."

I brushed myself off as I got up. "I did it myself, I had no idea what to get her so I thought an early wedding gift seeing she and Hiashi were engaged." I looked up and took a step back from their stares. "What?"

"You can paint?" Minato whispered looking a little betrayed. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I picked up the supplies when Scarlet first threatened me about this." I gestured to the party. "It wasn't hard."

Because my hand would just flow with the memory. I was an artist after all and it was a skill I didn't get to explore seriously until now. It was calming and it felt good to just sit and lose myself while creating something. It was like making one of my genjutsus permanant on the canvas only it was more uplifting to see the finished product from hours of effort than a fleeting second thought.

"You picked up painting for me." Hitomi looked flattered.

"I picked up painting for my silence." I glared at Scarlet and Minato. "It was the better alternative."

Hitomi giggled before turning to Hiashi. "We're putting this in my room for now, and then our room when we get married."

"I'm so jealous." Mikoto looked at me hopefully. "Will you paint Fugaku and I if I asked?"

I blinked in confusion. "Yeah, I still have supplies and I'm still on leave."

Mikoto brightened. "Oh, thank you!"

"Me too!" Kushina butted in. "Of Minato and me!"

I took a step back nervous by the sudden crowding. "Uh, okay, it'll take a while though." I continued to back up before bumping into someone, I tense. "S-sorry-" I drew in a silent but sharp breath see Shikaku.

"It's fine, Yoshino and I were late." He said staring at me. "You look good."

I looked away feeling nervous. "Thanks." I looked back at the others. "I'll be going back now, thanks for inviting me."

"Yuu-chan!" Akio ran up. "Let's go together! It's late out and I know a good ramen stand!" I let the Yamanaka drag me. "Bye, everyone!"

We were out of the Hyuuga compound as Akio ran out never letting me go. "You didn't have to do that."

"Yuu-chan, you're getting depressed." Akio tugged me further along but I stopped. "You're, you're not going to kill yourself are you?"

"No!" I scrunched up in disgust. "Yeah, I'm tired of my fucking fits but I'm too far along in life to just off myself!" I growled at him.

Akio put his hands up in surrender. "I'm sorry, sorry. You just scare me sometimes, it's hard to get a good read on you because you're good at hiding your problems."

I sighed and glared at the floor. "My problems aren't exactly relatable. Even your clan head found my mind inconclusive."

"And you're mentally breaking down." Akio said. "You weren't like this when we were at the academy."

I swallowed and agreed. "No I wasn't." I hesitated before speaking up again. "I think, I think this all started a little before I got my first kill."

The Yamanaka stopped. "What?"

"I- I-" I shuddered and I hesitated. "It wasn't bad until I first killed, it was a slaughter and I remember it was like a switch flipping. It was so easy to kill for me, to just march into the battlefield and hunt down the enemy that I became a little afraid of myself."

"Yuu-chan." Akio hugged me. "Let's go get ice cream, yeah? I have a tubbed in my apartment."

"I hate sweets though."

"Then let's go get that ramen." He tugged me forward. "You can tell me about it in a dark corner."

My lips twitched. "I'm glad someone's learning."

-Line Break-

I woke up to the smell of paint and wood again. The sound of humming filtered in my kitchen and I tensed at the foriegn sounds of reprimend. I grabbed my kunai and stalked into the kitchen annoyed.

"Ah Yuu-ch-"

I threw the kunai and Minato froze in place. "Get out."

"B-but-"

"Out." I growled irritated. "I'm trying to sleep."

"But you've been sleeping your entire leave away." Scarlet whined with Akio. "When you said you wanted to relax, I didn't think you meant this."

"I'm tired."

Scarlet exasperated. "You're always tired these days."

"Because I am tired." I huffed. "What are you doing here?"

"That's a surprise!" Akio cheered before disappearing under my table to avoid a senbon. "Don't worry Yuu-chan, we'll surprise you later!"

My head was thrumming and I looked at them irritated. I was too tired for their shit and I was not about to put up with it. I can easily put up the privacy seal with a threatening notice promising pain. I don't even care if it's Minato either, I was exhausted and I couldn't care to whatever bullshit they had in mind.

"Whatever, I'm going back to-"

I suddenly couldn't breathe, my heart was racing and my blood was suddenly rushing. I clawed against the walls but I still fell to the ground as pain welled up in my lungs, leg, and shoulder. I couldn't breathe.

They won.

My vision blurred and then it sharpened to another world. The sounds of engines and gun shots ringing in my ears, footsteps approached and I looked up to see a crooked teeth man. Instinct and hate made me bare my teeth at the hulking figure and I would've lunged at him if I didn't have so many holes in my body.

They killed everyone.

The man smiled and his eyes gleamed gleefully as he held a gun to my forehead. He cocked it back as I laid there helpless on the street. Adrenaline and fear pumped, but I was still defiant against him.

"This is the end Rayford. It's such a shame that someone as talented as you didn't join us."

I growled at him. "Go fuck yourself, traitor!"

"It really is a shame, you guys gave me the best memories."

I spat at him, with both blood and spit and he laughed at me. "You'll fucking fail, fail and I will be the one laughing!"

"The world is ours now, through corporate power, it was only a matter of time. And this is yours."

I watched him, looked him in the eyes.

They won, the day they won was the day I died.

Everything went black again and another figure approached me. I shook and tried to get in a sitting position, try to get away from the next possible threat.

Don't runaway.

I froze and stared at the man. He looked like he was a little taller me and his hair was just as long as mine only black, his build was hidden under his coat but I knew heavy weaponry was under it. I could tell he was older but I couldn't see his face.

And then blood dripped from his forehead, it trailed rivers of his blood as his indigo eyes glowed and smirked down to me.

We finally meet.

"What?"

My other half, my second life, my revenge.

I growled. "Who are you?!"

Isn't it obvious? You have the same bullet hole as I do.

I could feel something drip, I put my hands to my forehead and saw blood. Horror welled up and I looked back up to the man in front of me with the conclusion in mind.

I'm you, the old you. We died today when we were twenty-eight years old, killed by the traitor with this as a lovely reminder. I don't know how he survived but in the end, that doesn't matter, he won. They won.

I tensed when he carassed my cheek and flinched back making him laugh.

I watched you for a long time, grow up, make bonds, go insane. I'd like to apologize for the last one, I wasn't exactly sane in either. Still not.

Then he started choking me. I was grasping at his arms as he tightened his grip, I was afraid, so very afraid. But it wasn't like I went through at the bullshit just to be snuffed out by my conscious.

I kicked him in the gut, and I lunged at him with claws ready. He shot at me and the pain of the bullets felt so real as they pierced through my body. I didn't stop though, I slashed at his chest and went for his neck after. The other just laughed and just pinned me to the ground.

You're so cute thinking you can stop me, I'm more experienced than you-

I cut him in half with wind chakra, blood rained and pooled onto me and he just smiled and laughed again.

Now I know you're not pussying out on me, I'll talk to you later.

-Line Break-

I gasped and woke up in cold sweat. I was breathing hard and I was shaking in the bed that I was in. I was cold and hot at the same time, my whole body racked with with phantom pains and my head was throbbing from a headache. I tried sitting up but I was too weak to do even that.

My vision was blurry and I was now hearing frantic calls of my name, I looked towards the yellow blur and tensed when it touched me. I swallowed trying to get my bearings and the world focused better and I could hear clearer.

"-rse is coming Minato! Calm down!"

"But Yuu-chan isn't responding to me!"

"S-shut up." I breathe out. "T-too l-loud."

"Yuu-chan!"

I flinched and tried to push him away, it was also bright as well and my headache wasn't stopping anytime soon. I shuddered out another breath before something was holding me with something cool touching my lips.

"It's water, drink up." It was like a fog lifted as I drank the water and I opened my eyes again to a nurse with the glass of water. "Torito-san, are you strong enough to sit up on your own?"

"W-what happened?"

"You passed out on us three days ago." Minato said worriedly, tiredly. "You convulsed a bit when you did and you had nightmares after that."

"Th-three days?" I whispered.

Minato scratched behind my ears. "You gave everyone a scare."

"I'm sorry." I leaned into him. "I'm sorry."

"Is it always this bad?" Minato asked softly. "Your episodes? Your nightmares?"

I swallowed some dried spit. "I- I don't know, did I lashed out like when Ryuume hit me?"

"No, you just, you just wouldn't wake up from your nightmares."

"Then it's not bad then."

Minato squeezed. "Yuu, you didn't wake up. How is that not bad?"

"I didn't hurt anyone."

"You're the one that's hurting!" Minato looked distraught. "You've been- you've been hurting for a long time, and I never noticed just how bad."

I felt something wet run down my arm and I panicked seeing Minato cry. He held my hand tightly and I could feel him shake. I felt guilty at his hurt form and tried to cheer him up.

"C'mon nii-chan, I'm fine now, I'll be back doing missions again and I still need to-"

"No." I flinched at his voice. "You're going to stay in bed while I request extended leave for you."

"I'm fine and nobody got hurt!" I insisted. "I can-"

"Is that what you're afraid of? Hurting others?" Minato looked at my pleadingly. "Yuu, you're hurting yourself! You're suffering and you just keep fighting through it without help!"

"I already told people-"

"But not how bad it is!" Minato cut me off. "You never tell people how bad it was, you never told me. It's okay to be scared Yuu, you don't have to be strong all the time."

"I'm, I'm-"

I didn't know how to respond to that. I had to be strong if I wanted to cling on to this, to keep this safe from me. I'll snap and I wouldn't even recognize them anymore if I'm not strong, I'll kill them and I'd break.

I would break, break into little pieces and won't even have to courtesy to kill myself. I couldn't not be strong, if I'm not then everything I do would just be a huge waste of time. They were mine, mine to protect but I was the biggest danger around them.

"I- I have to be." I whimpered. "I have to be and if I don't I'll kill you all!" I grasped my head. "I feel like I'm suffocating everytime I'm in a crowd, I just want them gone. Gone!" I choked out a growl. "I want to tear their throats and watch them bleed, I can't handle the constant chattering, the constant touching, the stupid lies they wear on their faces!" Images staticked into my vision and I started crying. "But you're always there! You keep making me go! And you care about them!

"I can't stop, I can't stop!" I sobbed. "I don't want to kill them, I don't want you to be afraid of me."

Blood and bodies littered my vision and that's what I gave way to. To seeing people die in a pool of their own blood, choking and drowning in it when they were left barely alive. The sadness overwhelmed the bloodlust though, the grief and the horror of knowing who was dying in front of me.

The price of another freedom, to look back on the deaths that got us here.

-Line Break-

I woke up again, I felt lighter than last time and sunlight filtered pleasantly as the dull buzz sounded in my ears. The smell of sanitized cleanliness of antiseptic made its way to my nose and I sat up to see a hospital room. It was a lot more colourful with all the flowers and packages at my bedside.

The feeling of an IV in my arm made me grimace but I still reached out to the closest card. It was made from various scraps of paper but it already conveyed its message with the sloppy 'Get Well Soon' before I even opened it. It seemed like Asuma was more fond of me than I realized.

"Yuu-kun!" I heard the door open and Mikoto was quick at my side. "You're awake!"

I tensed at her sudden fretting. "Y-yeah." I looked down to let her straighten out my hair. "How long was I out?"

"For two days after you first woke up." The Uchiha looked over me satisfied for now. "Everyone was worried, see?" She waved to the gifts and flowers. "Your presents turned into get well gifts when you didn't show any signs of waking up soon."

I frowned in confusion. "Presents?"

"Your birthday, Yuu-kun." Mikoto said softly. "You collasped on your birthday."

We died today when we were twenty-eight, killed by the traitor with this as a lovely reminder.

Happy belated deathday and happy belated birthday. Congrats on making seventeen again.

I was trembling as the world came back and Mikoto was frantic. "I'm fine! Mikoto, I'm fine." I grasped her hands trying to calm her, trying to calm myself. "Just dizzy."

"Yuu-kun, please, don't turn away from us." Mikoto pulled me into a hug. "I'm so sorry that no one tried, that I didn't tried."

I shook my head. "It's fine." I pushed at her. "I'm fine."

Mikoto looked defeated before putting up a determined one. "Here, drink some water, the nurse should be here soon. We're going to get you to a shower and some actual clothes." She handed me a glass. "You need to walk around, come on, drink."

I did what she commanded and the nurses complied to the future matriarch's demands as she moved like a queen in her domain. I was in and out of the shower, I couldn't stay in for too long because I was shaking too much but Mikoto did help me wash my hair much to my embarrassment.

She didn't like seeing my scars but continued on. I know because I felt her trace the one I got on my shoulder, it wasn't a very clean cut when the fucking pig threw his scythe but it healed well enough.

Mikoto held up a beautiful biege and burgendy kimono, she swiftly dressed me despite my indecency. "Finally, I wanted to see you in that for ages. Come here, I have to do you hair!"

I sat down and just let her do her thing. I definately felt lighter but more subdued, like everything has calmed like a still lake and any stones that would be thrown would just be stilled once more after their ripples made their way. The buzz of silence was settling in compare to the needles that threaten to string through my mind.

The madness was still there but it was as if it was content, like it ate a nice large buffet of blood and violence. The beast was just laying there watching and digesting.

I let out a breath, exhaling like I held it in for a long time. Breathing was easier, moving was effortless compared to before, and I feel like everything was fresh and clean again. It was almost scary on how brighter the world seemed.

"Yuu-kun!" I looked to see Hitomi and Hiashi coming in. "You're awake and look gorgeous!"

I shied at her compliment. "Thanks."

Hitomi looked at Mikoto. "It's unfair to dress him without my gift Mikoto-chan."

"He had to get out of his clothes though!" Mikoto brushed out a knot. "This is much more suitable for him. You have such beautiful hair Yuu-kun, Kushina wasn't lying when she said she was a little jealous."

Hitomi fished out a nicely wrapped small box with a little bow. "Open it!"

I shifted uncomfortabley but I saw Hiashi rolled his eyes making me relax a little. The informal way of the clan royalties were acting were assuring making my focus a little more centered. I pulled the little ribbon and opened it.

It was a fairly large hair clip, a gleaming red ruby that was embedded in the accessory that was accented by violet and lavender shining stones around it. I could even see a little lizard stitched into the silk fabric and I smiled at it.

"I went from a bird to a lizard." I traced the little reptile. "Can you- can you put it in?" I looked at Mikoto.

"Of course."

It was so quiet, the buzzing was dulled significantly and it was peaceful.

It was peaceful.

-Line Break-

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