Caitlin floated in and out of consciousness and wondered what it would be like when she slipped into the dark abyss for good. Would Barry understand why she did it? Would he be too terribly mad at her? She didn't have all the answers and she didn't care. She was waiting for the darkness to engulf her.

"Caitlin, open the door now!" Barry yelled and she heard him hammering on the door. If only she could tell him she was okay, that it wouldn't be long and the woman responsible for Iris's death would be gone from his life, too. However, her brain felt foggy and she didn't have the energy to yell back. So she just waited patiently.

"Caitlin, open the door!" Barry shouted one more time. She remained silent.

"Fine, have it your way," he growled and the next thing Caitlin was aware of was her door being thrusted open and Barry speeding in. How he knew she was in her bathroom she had no idea but she was too far gone to ask questions.

"Caitlin, no, no, no," she heard Barry mumble as he dropped to his knees.

She felt him grab her wrist, checking her pulse but she still couldn't say anything.

"Caitlin, can you hear me baby?" Barry murmured and she wanted to tell him yes, but she couldn't find her voice so she just laid there with her eyes closed.

"How many did you take?" Barry demanded and Caitlin knew he had found her pill bottle. Ten? Twelve? She really wasn't sure anymore. It didn't matter, nothing mattered.

"Caitlin, answer me," Barry panicked but she couldn't, not now, not ever.

She welcomed the darkness like an old friend.

Caitlin wasn't sure what dragged her back to consciousness. Maybe it was the persistent beeping, or maybe it was the gentle voice singing. Whatever it was, it caused her to open an eye and stare bleary around.

"Cait?' A soft voice asked her and, despite the numbness to her brain, she forced her other eye open and looked around.

She spotted Barry sitting next to her, watching her concernedly.

"What-water," she groaned out in a hoarse voice and Barry lifted up the cup next to her and placed the straw against her lips.

"Easy," he soothed as she took an eager sip, wincing as she swallowed.

After she eased some of the dryness of her throat, she looked at Barry unhappily.

"You weren't supposed to save me," she muttered, mad that her plan hadn't worked.

"Too bad," he stated simply as he watched her.

"Do you have any idea of the kind of hell you put me through?" Barry whispered.

"Do you have any idea why it feels like my stomach is being stabbed?" Caitlin shifted in discomfort.

"That would be because the doctor's had to pump your stomach. And do you want to know what they found? Twelve sleeping pills. Twelve." Barry said and Caitlin winced, knowing how mad he was.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Why? Why would you do that to yourself and me?" Barry asked brokenly and Caitlin sighed.

"Ask Julian," she muttered.

"Oh, he's already come clean and he's off the team," Barry assured.

"But what I want to know is why you didn't wait to talk to me about what he said to you," Barry continued as he stared at her and Caitlin couldn't figure out why she hadn't done that in the first place. Probably be less painful for everyone, herself included.

"I was scared," she said in a small voice and dropped her eyes.

"Sweetheart, look at me," Barry ordered softly and she lifted her gaze back to him.

"I don't care what he said to you, nothing, and I mean nothing gives you the right to try to erase yourself permanently from my life, do I make myself clear?" Barry asked and Caitlin had never heard him speak in this tone before. So mad he was eerily calm.

"I just…got scared," she muttered but Barry shook his head.

"Then talk to me, Cisco, hell, Joe. But don't go running off without telling anyone where you're going only to end up attempting an overdose by yourself. If I hadn't made it to your apartment in time, you would be dead. Do you understand that?" Barry demanded.

"Yes," Caitlin whispered and she did. She may have acted irrationally due to her fear but she wasn't sure if death was the right option. Sighing, she ran her thumb soothingly over Barry's knuckles.

"I'm sorry I scared you," she murmured and Barry laughed humorlessly.

"That's an understatement," he disagreed and Caitlin shrugged slightly.

"You terrified the life out of me, Cait," he said softly and she nodded her head, knowing that what she did was wrong.

"I promise to never do anything like that again," she said and he nodded his head.

"I know you won't, because I'm not giving you the chance. From now on, you're under supervision until stated otherwise," he said matter of fact and Caitlin rolled her eyes.

"I'm not a child, Barry," she snapped.

"It's not about you being a child, it's about me knowing that you're safe, no matter what. I told you once that I can't lose anyone else I love and I meant it. I'm not losing you," he muttered and Caitlin's heart stopped.

"Y-you love me?" She whispered disbelievingly.

"Not the way I wanted you to find out, but yeah, I do," he murmured and she smiled hesitantly.

"I love you, too," she replied with conviction.

He smiled at her. "Then do me a favor. Never try to kill yourself again."

"Deal."

Author's note: I got my first one shot request up! If you have one, leave it on my tumblr (adancethroughhell) or the comments. Hope you enjoy!