Witch Finder Chapter 21

Jay wanted to sleep. She could hear someone talking to her, asking, no, demanding that she opened her eyes. Cheeky bastard she thought, absently. After trying unsuccessfully to tune out the voice she finally did as she was asked.

Tiredly her vision cleared as she stared up into the anxious gaze of Sam Winchester. Jay blinked a few times, not entirely sure what was happening.

"What the f…?" But her words were cut off as she found Sam's mouth on hers. Jay froze in shock, but soon found herself weakening as she tasted hot molten…chocolate! That's what he reminded her of and, boy! Did she love chocolate!

Without even thinking about it her hand came up to slide around the base of his neck, fingers grasping gently at the soft curls she found there. It wasn't until he tightened his hold on her, wrapping his arms gently round her waist that she realized that she lying on the ground, her upper torso cocooned in Sam's embrace.

Cocooned? Embrace?...Now I sound like a character straight out of a fucking Barbara Cartland novel!

Though oddly enough, she really couldn't bring herself to care enough to pull away.

Sam had no idea why he kissed her – well, he did but this really wasn't his usual way of doing things - and half expected her to thump him. The relief that flooded through him when Jay woke up had obviously made him temporarily insane. He'd felt her go still for a second, and wondered if she'd put up a fight. So he was surprised, more than pleasantly so, when she responded. Feeling her hand in his hair, caressing the base of his neck…that was his undoing; with a soft moan he deepened the kiss.

Undoing? Jesus! I sound like fucking Heathcliff in Wuthering Heights now?

But Sam didn't want to stop.

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Dean turned away, a small smile on his face. He'd known this was coming even if Sam had been clueless. He'd seen the longing on his little brother's face, and Jay's too though it was far more guarded. Dean was just glad that the two of them now had a chance at happiness, even if it was only for a little while.

He frowned a little. Would Sam opt to give up the hunt for Jay? Somehow he doubted it, but more than that he was pretty sure Jay wouldn't allow it.

She understood their lives, and seemed to know what awaited the brothers. No, there was no way she'd put up with Sam having to choose between herself and Dean. Somehow Dean sensed Jay wouldn't put Sam through that agony.

But may be one day, when this was all over…

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Jeff and the reaper stood by watching Jay and Sam, but they also noted the emotions playing over Dean's face.

The labs kept their attention on their master, gazing at him mournfully.

"Take care of Jay for me lads. That's your job now." Jeff whispered to the dogs. Mecca carried on watching him sadly, but Smiler glanced at him one last time before trotting over to Jay and Sam, shoving his nose in between them almost rudely as if to say "Oy! Bloody pack it in would ya?"

Mecca soon followed suit but kept looking back at Jeff.

The reaper puffed out a plume of cigar smoke. "Well my old friend." He fixed Jeff with a sympathetic smile. No reaper was evil; they just had a job to do though it wasn't always pleasant. The reaper's next words were spoken softly, filled with compassion. "For what it's worth, it's my firm belief you've made the right decision."

Dean watched the exchange and slid his hands into the pockets of his jeans.

Jeff nodded sadly. "I've got people waiting for me anyway, and I'm long over-due."

The reaper thought for a second, then spoke slowly. "No. It's just the right time."

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Sam gave out a small shriek as something wet was pressed into his neck.

"What the…?" He turned to face a big black nose, with a pair of soft dark eyes staring at him.

They seemed to be telling him "There's time for the smoochies later bucko, but right now there's more important things to deal with."

Sam gave a small laugh.

Jay, realizing Smiler was trying to tell them something, swiftly sat up and glanced around at Jeff.

"Jeff? Oh shit!" Shaking off Sam's arms she got up and ran to the prone figure on the floor of the cavern.

"No. NO!" She started glancing round her wildly "where are ya? JEFF!"

Sam and Dean glanced at each other sadly. They knew what had happened.

The reaper crouched down beside her "It's too late now Jay. He made his decision and it can't be reversed, not this time." He reached out and wiped a stray tear off her face as she stared at him in grief. "He made a good choice. And now you have the rest of your life to lead."

"But…"Jay's gaze never left his as she shook her head. "He died because of me…"

The reaper smiled. "No. He left so you could live; you meant a lot to him. Don't insult him by turning away from that honour."

The reaper's gaze turned meaningful, and she couldn't fail to understand what he was driving at.

"You won't be seeing me again, not for quite some years if luck serves you."

"Time to come out of retirement Jay. The world, this life, needs more people like you and the Winchesters. You're an Archer.

She blinked at him

The reaper smiled again as if giving away a secret "Did you think that was such a coincidence?..."

And in that moment it wasn't just Jay that finally understood why the sacrifices our loved ones make for us are so important to stand tall for.

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After dealing with the police, calling Karen and having her dislocated shoulder re-set by Dean and Sam (she didn't' trust anyone else to do it, and had hidden the injury from prying eyes as best she could) Jay continued with the clear-up campaign long into the late evening (which meant lying her arse off – Jay, Sam and Dean had come up with a half-way decent story). She'd sent the Winchesters home, advising them to keep a low profile.

That was a good decision as it turned out. Just as Daniel Carter was dragged away, to a psychiatric ward, screaming obscenities at her, DCI Alan Tendring had mentioned her "cousins". He'd given her time. He was an old friend with as open mind after all.

The up-shot of that conversation had Jay hurrying away to the admin office to make a private phone call.

Private was right. Bobby had been about to call the brothers but she got there first. It seemed that a certain FBI agent had been sniffing round Bobby's place asking too many questions.

"Well Bob you could've just shot the bastard and buried him in the trunk of one of that vast collection of cars" Jay had jokingly suggested, "It would take years to find 'im."

Bobby had chucked "Yeah and that would've just sent more suits after me."

All in all, it had been a knackering few days, and now Jay had some bad news for the boys. She really dreaded the conversation when she got home….

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Their reaction was surprising to say the least.

"Really?" This was Dean. He didn't look all that upset with the news. Jay's initial theory was this: it's because he'd do anything to delay getting back on a plane, but then she saw the affectionate smile he threw his younger brother and changed her mind.

She glanced at Sam. He had his back to her and was staring out the study window. Jay wished he'd face her so she could read him.

Her own eyes sank to the floor as she remembered that kiss, wishing she could wipe it from her memory. Ok so the boys were going to have to stay in England for a while longer, but that didn't mean…

"So." Dean interrupted her thoughts. Thankfully. She really didn't like where they were going. "They've got APBs out on us at all U.S airports" he smirked "they're expending a lot of resources in order to catch us."

"Yep. Bobby's gonna call ya later on a secure line. He's working on a plan to get you safely back to the states, but it's gonna take some time."

"How long?" Sam spoke up for the first time since Jay had entered the room. His voice was a little too neutral for Jay's peace of mind.

"Um. He didn't say. Bobby said he'd discuss that with you when he calls." Was Jay's reply.

The awkward silence that followed had Dean fidgeting a little. Finally, smothering a grin, he got up.

"I'm gonna head to…er…the weapons room…clean the…er…weapons…" He disappeared through the hidden doorway, the panel sliding back smoothly behind him.

But the awkward silence continued, and when Jay thought she couldn't stand it anymore she stood up to leave. But at the same time Sam stood and moved gracefully to block her escape.

"Jay? What happened back in the tunnel…" he began but stopped when she raised a hand in front of her.

"Sam don't, please." She saw the hurt in his eyes and nearly caved. But she couldn't. "This is hard enough as it is." Jay turned away from Sam, wanting to hide the longing she knew was evident on her face. "This can't happen. Not again."

Suddenly she was yanked around to face a very angry Sam. "What can't Jay? What can't?" Sam stared at her long and hard, his eyes mirroring her own feelings. "You can't just turn that off…"

"Turn what off eh? For Christ sake Sam, it was just our past lives working through us! It doesn't mean anything." The words were spoken harshly and she watched Sam flinch. She also registered in her own mind that her words were utter bullshit.

Jay took a deep breath. "This won't work. You'll be back in the US again before we all know it…and…I can't…" she trailed off, trying to find the strength.

Sam grabbed her upper arms and forced her to look at him. "Can't what Jay?" he asked softly. "Can't admit that you feel the same way about me as I do about you? That it's not just down to past lives? Are you that afraid to open your heart to me?"

Sam new he was being a complete hypocrite. He'd felt the same way after losing Jess, but this time it was different. This wasn't just a fleeting feeling of lust. Sam knew they could find a way. Had to find a way…

But the look on Jay's face as she avoided his gaze stumped him. May be he was wrong, may be she didn't feel the way he did. Something told him different…

Sam got angry. "You're a real selfish bitch you know that? I know you feel the same way, but you're letting the past keep us apart. I know you!" He dropped his arms as his heart plummeted below his stomach. Jay wasn't going to give in.

Tears already escaping his eyes, he glanced away. "I'm gonna go wait for Bobby's call." Sam trudged despondently out of the study, and Jay closed her eyes when she heard his bedroom door close softly.

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Dean had been cleaning the weapons. That much was true. But he just happened to be cleaning them right by the door to the study. And, in spite of himself, his felt his heart breaking for both Jay and his little brother. He got up and slid the door to one side.

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Jay sat back in her seat, shoved her pen behind her ear and looked at the clock.

Jeff was gone. And she had no idea what was to come next. Sure they hadn't seen each other in a long while, but she'd always known he was there and that had been enough.

He'd been her mentor after her father died, and so did John Winchester for a time.

She was used to being on her own. Since her husband had passed - been shot - she had cried her tears, grieved, and ultimately put it to the back of her mind.

She had tried to carry on. And succeeded, or so she thought.

Jay had never considered loneliness to be an issue, but she suspected that it would be now Sam and Dean had finished with this gig. Once they were clear, they'd leave.

That started her thinking. Always dangerous, she thought to herself with a sad smile.

Time was catching up with her. She looked back into her memories, wondering if she could even spot them.

But there they were, gleaming in a background of darkness, and her smile faded.

There's nothing like the shit hole of remembrance to cloud your day.

Jay remembered the last time, the last war. When Jeff and her father had stood firm and strong against the darkness. She'd only been a kid at the time but she knew the reality was far bloodier than the memory, and that glory wasn't nearly as….glorious…..as it seemed. But it was a job that had to be done.

Sam and Dean had already figured that part out.

They'd won last time. But now?

She shook her head and vaguely acknowledged the little voice in the back of her mind.

Then promptly ignored it.

It was a hunter's warning signal that she was being watched. But she wasn't a part of that anymore….

She went back to her memories, just for a while….

You hit thirty and you saw the world in a slightly different light. You became aware that the people in charge weren't really in charge. The real people in charge were arseholes, with an insanity quotient far bigger than their usual IQ. And that was pretty high.

Then you hit 31, and reality became a poor substitute for the fantasies you'd been carrying around since childhood. At least before 31 you felt that you could do something about it. It was some semblance of control.

But now?

That sense of control was quickly losing its thread. And it wouldn't be long before that particular screw became crossed….…

At 32 a sense of acceptance settled in. That's the way things are but, above all, there was still some hope!

You blinked and missed 33 and suddenly you were staring at the 34th year of your life right in the face, and wondering where all the time had gone.

And in spite of what you had been told, it didn't get easier and it didn't seem right and it turned out that you had been fucking lied to right from the get go

And the anger you felt at the world was huge, it was like the teenage angst you had once tried to ignore was coming right back at you, blasting you in the face with its wrath.

Then you looked in the mirror and noticed the faint tarnish already setting in.

It was your responsibility too.

And you were too fucking old for this.

It wasn't just physical.

Yeah, there were the obvious signs. The worry and age lines starting to etch their way into your once young skin.

The signs that middle age was on the rise.

The dark shadows under the eyes that had already seen too much.

It was…

…inside

That's where it counted. The rest was just faded wrapping, like that found on an old silly Christmas present that had fallen under the sofa only to be discovered years later.

You were still young enough to be considered a spring chicken.

But old enough to know better.

And it was only a matter of time before the tarnish turned to rust, and then – you knew – other people would start to notice……….

If only I was more like my cousin Jo…

Jay sat back up in her seat, realizing that she had been privately ranting. Never a useful task.

Sam had already been hurt, been lucky to survive. It didn't pay to dwell on the past.

And then that little voice, that hunter's instinct really kicked in, jumping up and down, desperately trying to get her to take it seriously.

It was starting to annoy her.

Jay knew that Dean had been standing there for a while, just watching her. It was that little voice in the back of her head again, the one she had studiously ignored.

She thought to herself so I wasn't ignoring it as much as I'd thought.

Dean gave a polite cough, which made Jay smile. She had worked out that Dean wasn't given over to politeness easily. That was more Sam's thing.

"Problem mate?" Jay offered, without turning around

"Nah" Dean stared at her back for too long a time for her liking. Had she spoken out loud during her past obsession?

"Something you wanna tell me Jay?" Dean asked.

"Not really". Was the frustrating answer he got for that.

Dean strolled over to the chair next to Jay and sat down heavily.

He looked around, studying the books Jay had been looking at. Grimoires, Demonology, Ancient Celtic Spells. It was an interesting display of geekness, he thought. This is Sam's dream girl. Dean smirked, not entirely surprised. Then he remembered Jessica and Maddison and suddenly didn't find it funny any more. Dean wasn't sure how to continue with this one, but Sam was hurting, and so was Jay. He decided to get right down to basics. "You're a hunter right?" There was a significant pause, which told Dean all he needed to know.

After a while Jay answered, "Not for quite some time."

Dean shrugged. "Why?" Dean asked frankly.

"Because I chose not to be."

"No." Dean looked hard at Jay. "You don't just do that. I mean Sam did, once, but he came back."

"Yeah, but at a hell of a price doncha fink?" Jay challenged him. Dean flinched and Jay was immediately remorseful. After all, she was talking about Dean's late future sister-in-law. Now that sounded fucked up, even to Jay's ears.

"I'm not gonna give you the run down on my life if that's what you fink." Jay stated defiantly. "you've heard enough."

Dean was used to defiance. He'd witnessed it too many times when dad and Sam had butted heads.

He realized at that moment what she was and who she was.

And he was resolute to make her face up to it.

Kinda amusing when he thought of Ellen's daughter and how he'd tried to turn her off this path.

But Jay was different. Now he knew what his father had seen in her.

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He spoke to her long and hard, and Jay felt as though she was sitting in the same room with his father.

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"Jay? I aint into clichéd platitudes…" Dean grinned a little "except when I'm tryin' to get laid" That earned a snort of laughter from Jay, who was not unfamiliar with such tactics and had even in the past employed them herself for the same reasons.

"But if Sam and I are going to be in the country for a little while now, may be…" he sighed, not really used to this. He was used to talking to Sam sure, but a woman?

But this was no ordinary woman. He still felt that brotherly – yes he finally got it now! -familiarity towards her, and guessed he always would.

Dean took a breath. He couldn't believe what he was about to say – talk about a role reversal! "You of all people know how short life can be. Jay? Don't miss an opportunity, now matter how brief it may turn out to be."

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Sam could hear loud barking in the distance as Mecca and Smiler raced about the yard, trying to torment the peacocks. He smiled in amusement. Damn dogs.

But his smile gradually faded.

In the not too distant future he was leaving here, leaving Jay. Oh God! He ran a hand through his hair. She was right. And he'd just behaved like a spoilt teenager in front of her.

He didn't hear the soft knock on his door, or the click as the door finally opened when whoever it was grew too impatient to wait for his answer.

He was sitting on the edge of his bed, his head in his hands, when he felt someone gently grasp his wrists. Sam looked up in shock. Then his expression turned into a predatory grin when he saw who it was.

"You still wanna get involved wiv an older woman? And Essex girl? 'cos a certain past-life brother-in-law told me I should make the most of things…"

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Two weeks later…

Dean was actually enjoying a game of catch with Mecca and Smiler. Throwing the ball and watching the dogs race back and forth, fighting over it good naturedly, it was another scenario that seemed familiar.

Sam, Jay and himself had healed nicely, though Jay's shoulder was still giving her trouble.

Now there was another hunt to attend to, in London.

Jay would be staying behind to continue with the legal bullshit left over from the Witch Finder gig, though Sam was worried because Carter had been let out on bail. But both brothers also knew she could take care of him quite easily, and now she had the Labradors.

Yeah, thought Dean. She's one of us. She doesn't like bullshit but she will put up with it if she deems it necessary.

And his little brother was a changed man. Although he worried about leaving Jay on her own, Sam also knew it made sense. No disrespect to Jess, Jay knew what was in the darkness, understood what that shiver down the spine meant when it counted.

Sam wasn't going to like it when they went back to the states. But it was inevitable. Jay knew that and accepted it, and ultimately, when the final battle came Jay would be there.

She'd be there to fight alongside them.

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Well that's it. Hope it wasn't too disappointing an ending for you.

And as you may well have spotted, that aint the end of the brother's England adventures.

Please review:

Should there have been more violence?

Should there have been smut between Jay and Sam?

Should I have…

Nah. I'll leave it up to you to decide.

Kind regards,
ST.xxx.