Equally Cursed and Blessed

by Mina

21/.

By the third day, Luke was beginning to wonder if anything else actually existed outside the small Medical Bay he was confined to, or if he'd merely imagined there was another part of the base out there, carrying on regardless of his inability to escape the severe attention of his jailers.

Well, maybe 'jailors' wasn't fair - the chief medical officer was just doing his job, and Vader's two lackeys were looking after their own backsides by making sure he didn't slip out of the 'Bay. And Leia... Leia was just worried about him.

She was already fussing over him to the point where even Chewie and Lando were getting concerned. Not that Luke minded her fussing, really. He smiled to himself secretly, thinking about how much he would have thanked the Force for putting him in this situation a couple of years earlier - into a position where she was doting on him, instead of the other way around.

And actually, it was great spending so much time with her, but he couldn't help but feel that something had changed between them. Or rather, that he had changed: the secret he was desperately guarding was like an invisible wall between them, blocking their connection. In a lot of ways - too many ways - Luke had never felt so distanced from Leia. Ironic how it had happened now, when he was spending much more time with her than he ever had before - just him and her, talking.

And he ached for that bond between them, which seemed so thin and flimsy now. Leia felt it, too - he could see it in her eyes. She was probably putting it down to his adjustment after the interrogation - and he knew, guiltily, that it was best to let her think that. Because it was kinder than the truth.

The truth - it had become a physical thing, like a weight around his neck, dragging him down. Luke sighed, feeling suffocated by both the cramped room and by his own guilty secrets. If he didn't get some fresh air soon he was going to go crazy, and he was pretty sure that none of them wanted that.

Trouble was, he was also pretty sure that the medics didn't know what the hell 'psychic-shock' was and were just playing it safe. They had some sketchy, second-hand information on it, but nothing he could use to persuade them to let him get out of here for a while. And he itched to get out of here - to do some exploring. A new base was always a novelty, 'though admittedly this one appeared to be just a rock in the middle of nowhere.

Despite that, the enforced rest must have been doing him some good - he could now reach out to the Force without bringing on a violent headache. And he could touch it, manipulate it, without suffering anything worse than a weird tingling sensation at the back of his neck. And that was progress, at least.

But not enough, and not nearly fast enough for Luke.

Lying on the bed, hands behind his back, Luke turned his concentration onto the stack of datapads at the foot of his bed. He reached out a hand, twitched a finger at them, and, one by one, five of them rose into the air. He had to narrow his eyes in concentration to keep them all aloft, but they stayed there, suspended above him. He wondered distantly what Yoda would think of the show. Probably not a lot - probably he'd think it was disgustingly easy, and nothing to feel smug about... and that smugness was another path to the dark side.

Shifting his focus just a little, Luke set the centre one spinning slowly, and grinned at it - not a few weeks ago this would have seemed impossible, but now it felt as natural as flying.

Luke frowned suddenly - why had this suddenly become easier? It wasn't like he'd been training during those weeks, but something felt like it had changed; the Force had never felt so easy to reach before.

Not that he was complaining...

Biting his lip in concentration, Luke shifted his focus to another datapad, and then another, until all five where slowly turning in the air, whirling silently. He watched them, almost hypnotised by the feeling of Force running through his veins, reaching out from within him, out to touch the datapads, starting them spinning.

"That's quite a party trick."

Luke twisted around at the voice, startled. Leia was standing in the doorway, watching him, smiling just a little.

Unfortunately, just at the moment he turned, he stretched his concentration too far and the datapads slipped from his mental touch, spinning out of his control. They hung for a moment, suspended briefly, and then dropped to the bed in a clatter. One of them slipped from the bed to the floor.

Luke sat up and looked down at them, chagrined. "I guess I need to keep working on my focus," he said.

Leia just shook her head. "What part of 'don't use the Force' is so difficult to understand, Luke?"

He shrugged sheepishly. "I know, I know... it just sort of... comes naturally. And anyway - it feels fine, now."

Instead of chastising him, Leia just looked at him curiously, and nodded as if agreeing with something that he hadn't even realised he'd said. But that didn't make sense.

"Hang on - aren't you supposed to be in the Council meeting this morning?"

She nodded, coming forwards and picking up the datapads, putting them back into a neat pile, before sitting on the bed next to him. "I was, but it's been delayed."

Luke looked at her in surprise. "What? Why?"

She frowned. "I'm not sure - Mothma was called away by Intelligence, but I don' t know why."

Luke felt ice frosting his heart suddenly, wondering if it could be related to his father's two Intell ops that they'd brought back. Did the Alliance know...? Surely not - how could they?

Leia was looking at him oddly again, and he realised he hadn't responded. "Oh, okay," he said, lamely. She spent a few seconds longer considering him, and Luke smiled faintly. Then she pushed off the bed and came to her feet, suddenly decisive.

"So - I thought you might like the grand tour."

"Huh?"

"Of the base? I know it's frustrating being stuck in here, Luke. I'm just surprised you haven't tried to hack your way out of here yet."

Luke smiled. "They've installed Bariun-style encrypts on the locks... they were next on Han's list of crack-tricks to teach me."

It had been an innocent comment, an instinctive one, but a chill shadow seemed to race over Leia's face at the mention of Han's name. Guilt, like a douse of cold water, washed over him. There was so much pain in her eyes. "Leia... I..."

"It's okay," she said, waving it off. "It's not like we can't mention his name." She smiled, but it was dead and humourless.

"Is there any news?" Luke asked.

She looked terribly fragile as she stood and walked to the small room's sole window. "No, Fett's already left the last place we knew for sure he'd been to. He's out there, somewhere..." She trailed off. "Did you know the techs are taking bets?"

"What?" Luke asked, hearing the words but feeling the bitter sting of her pain much keener.

"They're betting on how long Fett'll take to get to Jabba. They think he's stringing the Hutt out, trying to get a higher price." She sighed. "Maybe they're right."

Luke stood, and approached, aiming to try and comfort her, though he wasn't sure that was at all possible right now, so he just hugged her silently.

He'd expected her response to the hug to be restrained, and at first it was. Luke reached out tentatively into the Force, quickly finding her distinctive presence, trying to get inspiration on how to help her. At that mind-touch though, a flood of emotion seemed to roll over him, blindsiding him with the unrestrained pain. It was an almost physical feeling, a sharp burning sensation deep down in his chest. Leia suddenly tightened the hug, pulling him to her like she wanted to crawl into him and hide.

Leia... he whispered silently, feeling his own frustration and pain mirroring her sorrow. We'll get him back, I promise you.

She sobbed, tightening her hold on him. "You can't promise me that."

It took all his willpower not to stiffen at the words - because she'd just responded to something he sure as hell hadn't said out-loud. He tried to breathe steadily, but his mind had been kicked into high gear, and his heart was accelerating alongside it.

That shouldn't have been possible! She shouldn't be able to hear him - never had been before, unless you counted Bespin, but Leia'd told him that had felt more like an urge to find him than hearing the words themselves.

Trying not to lose his concentration with the shock and confusion, Luke sent, "Then I promise you I'll try everything I can think of to get him back - no matter what it takes."

She pulled back a little, looking into his eyes. "Don't say that - I can't lose you both."

He swallowed, thickly. It wasn't a fluke - she really could hear him.

"You won't. I can feel it," he said, because now she was looking at him and would see that he hadn't spoken if he used the Force.

She sighed, looking down and wiping at the tear-tracks that were streaking her makeup. "I wish I had your faith," she said, smiling self-reproachfully.

Luke didn't know what to say to that, so he pulled her back into the embrace. He was silent, but his mind was whirling. How - how - was it possible for her to hear him? He could do it with his father, but that made sense. This didn't.

Something had changed - he'd acknowledged that only minutes ago when he'd realised that multiple levitations, what had once been a difficult Force-skill, was suddenly relatively simple. He felt closer to the Force than he ever had before - closer, and more a part of it, immersed in it. Was this the after-effects of the psychic-shock? Or something else entirely? Hells - he really needed to talk to Vader about this, but he'd no way of contacting him.

His thoughts trailed off as Leia stepped back slowly, looking sheepish. "Sorry," she said. "It's been a difficult week."

"It's okay - I know."

She smiled, and then seemed to draw herself together. With his newfound sensitivity, Luke could almost see her drawing strength back into herself, a slight wavering in the Force as she gathered her courage.

"Ready?" she asked.

"For anything," he said, grinning. But he didn't feel the smile, or the good humour. He felt confused and apprehensive. Because he shouldn't be able to read her so keenly - but he could.

Piett looked up from his desk as the ready room door chimed. He frowned - he'd specifically requested not to be interrupted, unless of course either Lord Vader or the Emperor required his assistance.

But he knew for a fact that Vader was down in the belly of the ship, interrogating the prisoner they'd taken from the shuttle Skywalker had been abducted on. And if it was a communiqué from the Emperor... well, then Piett really didn't want to answer that door.

It chimed again and he sighed - it was foolish to sit here hoping whoever was on the other side would simply go away. With a fateful sigh, he flicked a switch on his desk and triggered the door open.

An ensign entered, saluting smartly, if a little nervously. Piett frowned, and the boy swallowed apprehensively.

"Admiral Piett, sir, my apologies for interrupting you. We have been contacted by-"

"I seem to remember asking not to be disturbed, Ensign," Piett said firmly, but not aggressively. Irritated as he was, he was fairly certain that no one on the bridge would interrupt him without good reason.

"Yes, sir."

"Well? Would you care to tell me why you are flouting that order?"

He wasn't trying to be overly intimidating, but clearly that was not the impression he was giving; the ensign shifted uneasily.

"We received a comm from an Intelligence source, Admiral, who was quite insistent that you would want this information transferred to you immediately." The words came out in a rush, tumbling over one another, and the man stuck his hand out rigidly, a datapad in his fingers.

Piett raised an eyebrow. "An 'intelligence source'? Who?"

The ensign shook his head. "I don't have that information, sir. He didn't state his name, however he knew the highest level encrypts for access to our communications system."

Interesting. Very few agents had access to such immediate, guaranteed contact with Executor. Two such agents had been sent with Skywalker, but they had orders to report directly to Lord Vader. Curious, and with not a little trepidation, Piett reached out and took the datapad from the ensign.

A quick glance confirmed that the information was encrypted and would require his personal codes to gain access to it. As he plugged it into his desk console and set the decrypt working, he glanced up at the ensign, who still stood at attention in the doorway. "Who else knows about this, Ensign?"

The young man shook his head. "No one but myself and the comm officer, sir," he replied, carefully, perhaps aware that if it was such sensitive information, anyone who had seen it was an immediate liability.

"Good," Piett replied tonelessly, not reacting to the pleading look in the boy's eyes.

The datapad pinged softly - it was decrypted. Piett spent a few moments flicking through the introductory files - nothing identified the sender. Then, he reached the main body of the information - and inhaled sharply.

"Sir?" the ensign asked.

"You're dismissed, Ensign," Piett whispered sharply, not looking up. Distantly, he heard the ensign's 'Aye, Sir', and then the door shutting as the man left. But still Piett didn't look up - his eyes were fixed upon the screen, daring his mind to believe what he was seeing.

It wasn't possible - all the records relating to Jedi were purportedly destroyed, purged from all known libraries and media banks! And yet, here on this datapad, staring up at him with a half-remembered fierce intensity, was a holopicture with the tagline of 'Anakin Skywalker - the fearless Knight.' - and a hundred pages of media cuttings to go with it.