A/N: So...hello again! Sorry it's been a little longer than normal - Christmas is coming and all. Busy, busy.
This is slightly shorter than the last few chapters have been, but combining it with the next chapter would have made it huge and taken much longer to finish, so I'm sticking with my original plan of updating more regularly with slightly shorter chapters! I hope that's okay with you guys and that no-one is too disappointed.
It's been a little bit of a rush to finish this, so please forgive me for any mistakes I've missed in my editing sweeps. Feel free to point them out though.
Anyway, hope you enjoy it, and with any luck I'll get another chapter up before Christmas, but if not I'll try and make it up to you with a double update the week after!
Happy Holidays all, whatever you may be celebrating!
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The three weeks after the Dementor attack on Hogsmeade were probably the strangest time James had ever spent at Hogwarts. Rumours were rife about the target and intended purpose of the attack – exacerbated by the Daily Prophet's somewhat sensational reporting - and there was a feeling of low-level panic crackling through the air. Students had begun to travel in groups as a precaution, and many carried their wands out at all times; this had resulted in a number of accidental injuries, as the slightest thing caused people to unleash curses in all directions without a second thought. The suspicion and hysteria was rising daily, and even the calming (or occasionally stern) words offered by the teachers did not seem to be having much of an effect. The school was a powder keg, and every day James worried that something would spark it off.
They'd had an emergency meeting of their Anti-Voldemort group –which so far remained nameless, since they seemed incapable of settling on one - soon after to find out what everybody knew. Which was almost exactly nothing as it turned out. He, Remus and Lily had been far more involved than anyone else and they hadn't much of a clue what had happened; his dad had told him more than he probably should have, but even with that information they were still very much in the dark. Suspicions about certain Slytherins were at an all time high after the events in Hogsmeade, and members of the group were watching Snape, Mulciber and Avery at all times; James was also having Remus and Peter give lessons on how to produce a patronus, something he now considered essential.
Julia had been introduced to the group and had proven to be extremely funny and level-headed when she wasn't shocked and traumatised; the events with the Dementors had forged a strong bond between her and Remus, and the two of them had spent quite a lot of time buried in the library together recently, working on Agrippa knew what. James had chosen not to question Remus on any of this, recognising that his friend was a more private person than the rest of them, and that he would choose if and when to discuss something with them. With Sirius you yelled, with Peter you teased, but with Remus you just waited.
He walked up the stairs to the fourth floor, his footsteps weary. He felt like he'd been patrolling for hours, even though it was only – he checked his watch – 10 pm and he'd started at nine. He'd spent the day, like so many others this month, completely on edge, hyper-aware of every little thing and trying frantically to keep on top of everything and it was exhausting. He continued his rounds on automatic pilot, staring at his shoes as he scuffed them along the floor, fantasising about his bed, and how much he wished he was in it right now, and then that became how much he wished he was in his bed with Lily, and that was not going to help him get through his rounds calmly now was it?
'You bloody great prat!'
The shout came from the far end of the corridor and he jerked his head up quickly. Lily was storming down the hallway towards him, red hair flying, green eyes flashing and his heart did its usual little bounce when it saw her; it didn't matter that she was apparently angry with him over something, she was his and she was here and everything seemed easier, better, when she was in touching distance. He stopped and waited for her to reach him, the smile on his face refusing to fade even in view of her current temper, which seemed impressive even by her standards. He stood his ground and waited for the outburst as she steamed to a stop in front of him.
'What...were...you...thinking...you...complete...p illock?' She demanded, interspersing every word with a blow from her open hand, on his shoulder, his chest, his stomach.
James stood his ground and allowed her to hit him a few times before her caught her hand in his own.
'If you're going to physically abuse me, can I at least know what I did to deserve it?'
'You're doing it right now!' Lily's voice rose to a shriek. 'Which part of the new "no prefect rounds should be conducted alone" rule did you fail to understand?' She swung her other hand at him, and he captured that one too. He caught his breath for a minute, realising the potential of a situation in which they were alone in a corridor and he was holding onto both her wrists with his hands and she was plastered up against him as he restrained her.
'I understood the rule and I'm well aware of the reason for it Lils, but Connors was supposed to patrol with me and he got hexed earlier and he's still in the hospital wing. What would you have preferred me to do?'
'Find another partner, get a teacher to take the patrol, bring Sirius with you, anything except go wandering off alone because you're a great big arrogant moron who thinks he can handle anything that comes his way!' Lily struggled in his grasp as she yelled at him, and he could practically see her considering whether she could kick him in the ankle, so he backed her into the wall where he could keep her pinned and move out of range at the same time.
'I didn't have time to do any of those things Lily, I only found out about Connors half an hour before we were due to start! And don't you start throwing those kinds of accusations at me.' He growled the words at her, his pleasure at seeing her momentarily forgotten as he felt the words she'd thrown at him twist and hurt, and his anger flared up to match hers. 'This had nothing to do with arrogance – I needed to get this patrol done, so I did it myself; you know damn well you'd have done the same, and if I'd dared to call you on it you'd have reamed me for not trusting you! So tell me Lily, when does this trust become two-way?'
'This has nothing to do with trust! And you should count yourself lucky that accusations were all I was throwing, because I'm telling you Potter, if I'd had something heavy to hand you would have got it straight in the face!' Lily squirmed as she tried to free herself from James' much stronger grip, but he was much too smart to give her any leeway at all; he daren't let her get a hand on her wand when she was in this frame of mind.
'It has everything to do with trust Lily! I made a decision, and you instantly questioned both my motives and my ability to make it!' As she re-doubled her efforts to escape, he pulled both her wrists into one large hand, pushed his body tight to hers and used his now free arm to lift her so her feet were slightly off the ground and she was crushed between his body and the wall, her hands pinned between them. 'And if you don't stop trying to hex me, I swear I will flatten you into this wall!'
'You made an idiotic decision!' Lily voice was a shrill screech in his ear by now. 'You gave that speech to the Prefects about working as a team and looking out for one another, then you go sauntering off on your own, not a care in the world, no thought for what could happen! What if something happened to you James, huh? What if you were hurt and none of us knew that something had happened? How long until someone found you?' He realised then that angry as her voice was, it had also begun to tremble slightly. Pulling back to look at her properly, he noticed that she wouldn't meet his gaze, and that if it weren't for the colour flushing her cheeks she'd be deathly pale. He felt his temper ease a little – it didn't dissipate exactly, it more stagnated enough to let him examine the situation a bit more rationally.
'I'm sorry if I worried you Lily.' His voice came out gentle and calm, and even he was surprised by how level it sounded, given that he could still feel the throb of the temper he was biting back in his throat. 'I honestly thought it was a reasonable risk to take; I wasn't being reckless. If I'd had more time I would have made different arrangements, but I did the best I could in the time I had. I'm sorry if that's not good enough for you.' The last statement had a little more bite than he was intending, and he thought he saw a flicker of a wince cross her features as she absorbed it – perhaps he didn't have quite such a sterling grip on his temper after all. He let Lily drop to the ground and stepped back, releasing her hands; one went immediately to her wand, but she didn't draw it from her pocket.
'I don't think patrolling on your own is taking a reasonable risk James.' Lily spoke slowly and articulated each word carefully keeping her eyes trained on the ground, her knuckles white where they curled around her wand. They were both being cautious now, each aware of the damage they could do if they said or did something they'd regret. 'I think you're underestimating how much of a target you are.'
James reached out lifted her chin with his fingers. 'I know how some people in this school think of me Lily; I'm a blood traitor, and an unashamed one at that. I don't mean to treat the threat as insignificant, but I can't let it rule my life either; it's not possible to eliminate risk is it?'
'No, but you don't need to court it either.' Lily's eyes were fixed firmly on a point well past his ear, but he didn't need eye contact to read her, and the fear was breaking through.
'I'm not.' He leaned in and planted the gentlest kiss on her forehead, resting his hands on her shoulders. 'I promise you I'm not Lily. I know I'm patrolling on my own, but McGonagall does know, and Remus and Sirius were going to look for me if I was more than fifteen minutes late back. I did my best with the time I had Lily.' He kissed her temple, and stroked his hand through her hair as he felt her relax into him a little. For the first time since she'd caught up with him she looked him in the eye, and he saw worry and temper swirling together in the green orbs that were always so expressive of her mood.
'Don't do it again James. I'm asking you nicely, not to take so many risks.' Her voice was firm and steady, but it still held that trace of alarm that he wished he could erase entirely. He pulled her a little closer.
'How nicely were you planning on asking?' He lifted her hair up with one hand and pressed his lips to the skin just behind her ear.
'Don't push your luck James.' Lily spoke dryly. 'I'm not in the mood for your peculiarities right now.'
'Really?' His voice was muffled against her skin as he ran his lips down her neck to her collarbone and then back up to her ear. He could feel the resistance leave her shoulders as his hands began to gently rub at them, and his lips continued their path up and down, up and down.
'No more unnecessary risks.' Lily's voice sounded determined, but the strength of her temper had gone out of it. James' mouth curved up against her skin; he was pretty sure this was going to go the way he wanted it to now.
'I'm asking you to promise. For me.' Her voice sounded small now, and more than a little unsteady. He wished he could believe that it was shaky from pure lust, but he could recognise the very real coating of unease and concern that lay under her more carnal emotions. He winced as he thought of the upcoming full moon; he had already lied to her and taken what he was sure she'd consider a gratuitous risk twice this term, and he knew he'd be doing it again in a couple of days. He didn't want to lie to her; not telling her everything was one thing - and he was becoming increasingly uncomfortable with that - but an outright falsehood just seemed unacceptable. And he wanted to give her what she wanted, what would make her happy, always. It was hard to refuse her, especially when he was looking at her and touching her, and she wanted him to. He spoke in a low hum against the skin of her neck.
'How about...I promise to consider all potential courses of action very carefully before I select one, and I will do everything in my power to always reduce the risks involved as far as possible?' He nipped lightly at her jawbone as he finished his sentence.
'You sound like a lawyer.' Her voice was down to almost a gasp now as he continued to work his lips and tongue and teeth across her soft, sweet-smelling skin.
'My mother's a lawyer. You're not the first woman to try and negotiate my behaviour.' He lifted his head up until his face was level with hers and ran his hands up from her shoulders, over her neck until they cradled her face. 'But I'll promise now that you will be the last.'
He kissed her gently, and with all the tenderness he could possibly muster, warming her cold lips with his and breathing in her scent as her hands landed on his waist and ran up his back until they hooked over his shoulders and she stepped closer and then it felt like she'd surrounded him, all soft skin and red hair and heat. He poured all his wants and needs into her, all the aches she made him feel, in his heart and everywhere else and he felt her heartbeat speed up and match his in response as her body pressed closer and the sparks she always created in him flared and built. He pulled his lips away from her, because the pressure in his chest was too much now, and it was welling up inside him, and if he didn't say it he was going to burst.
'Lily. Lily, I lo...'
A crash from just around the corner cut his sentence off and he and Lily sprang apart as Filch's cat came racing round the corner, fur on end and spitting wildly, just barely avoiding a collision with his ankles.
Their wands were in their hands in an instant, and they moved together in the direction of the noise, their teamwork seamless and instinctive. Even in his frustrated and edgy state of mind James felt a brief tingle of pleasure at the ease with which he and Lily read each other's movements and gestures, the comfortable nature of their interactions even under stress.
Moments later they rounded a corner and found a scene of horror. Two girls in Hogwarts robes hung in midair in the centre of the corridor, suspended by their ankles and twisting gently; their bodies were stiff and unmoving, and their faces were frozen into expressions of unmistakable horror. Lying sprawled on the floor behind them was the seemingly unconscious body of Argus Filch and seared onto the nearest wall in horribly familiar writing were the words:
THE WORLD OF MAGIC WILL BE CLEANSED
Lily stepped forward and reached out to the nearest girl.
'Lily, don't touch them!'
James shouted in alarm, but too late. Lily's hand had no sooner touched the arm of one of the girls than there was an explosion of orange sparks and her body flew through the air to land limply alongside Filch's, and she lay still, just as unconscious as he was.
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The first thing Lily was aware of was the low murmur of voices nearby. She tried to open her eyes to see who was near, but she couldn't force them open no matter what she tried – she attempted to move her hand to physically peel them open, but the rest of her body remained as unresponsive as her eyelids. She tried to speak, but no sound came out. Giving up on her attempts to move or interact, she focused on the sounds she could hear, trying to make out words and separate out voices in her head.
'When will she wake up?' A girl's voice, high and soft. Alice.
'Pomfrey doesn't know.' A deep male voice, rough with exhaustion and edged with frustration but still warm and wonderful. James. 'It was a powerful curse, it'll take a while for the potions to counteract it, and apparently it varies depending on the physical and magical strength of the victim. Some people fight it off more easily than others.'
'Speaking of others...what about Filch? And the two girls?' This voice was not as deep as James', but was richer and more honeyed. Sirius.
'Filch is out cold still.' James again. 'He might be out for a while, he's not as strong as Lily. In any sense.' As he spoke, Lily became aware that she could now feel pressure on her hand as someone held it, and something stroking the back of it softly – she tried with all her might to squeeze the hand that was holding hers, but her fingers remained stubbornly still. 'And the two girls are unfrozen but sedated. Pomfrey doesn't want to wake them till Dumbledore gets back from the meeting at the Ministry.' James concluded his sentence and there was silence for a moment. Lily screamed inside her head, exhorting her muscles to move, to respond, to let someone know that she was awake and trapped inside her own mind.
There was a snort of derision from her left, and she felt a sudden stir of the air and smelled the scent of Sirius' aftershave waft over her. Hearing, sensitivity to touch and a sense of smell. Now if she could only regain sight, taste and control of her limbs they'd be onto a winner.
'Special meeting I ask you. Load of Bicorn shit. What do they want Dumbledore to do differently exactly?' Sirius' voice dripped scorn.
'They just want it to look like they are doing something, considering they are apparently incapable of standing up to the mad purebloods that are the actual problem.' Alice sounded disgusted.
'The Minister is feeling the pressure to get the situation under control. Things are starting to get out of hand and the Prophet is gleeful every time they get to publish another juicy, fear-mongering article. I take it you saw this morning's edition?' James weary voice was drained, as if he didn't have the energy for emotion any more.
'You mean the "Another Attack at Hogwarts" headline? With the accompanying "useless staff powerless to protect students" article?' Sirius sounded both indignant and appalled at the same time. 'I particularly liked the sub-article about how the incredibly negligent Head Girl went and recklessly got herself cursed, and her flagrant disregard of how important it is to be responsible in her role.'
'How did they even get hold of it so quickly?' Alice's calm voice broke into Sirius' outburst. 'I mean, it happened yesterday. It hasn't even been officially confirmed by the Ministry yet.'
'Student I imagine.' James attempted to clear his throat of the gruffness, but his voice remained rough. 'You know how quickly something like that gets round the school, and someone who goes here is bound to have a relative who works there or something. If I didn't know she was about a million years old, I'd say Matilda Meeking was undercover as a student, she gets the damn gossip so quickly.'
Lily felt the fury at the mention of Matilda Meeking and her uncomplimentary words bubbling in her blood, fizzing through her brain, and for the first time since she'd regained consciousness she felt warmth in her body. She had to move, to get her body working. She needed to get back so James didn't have to deal with Head duties on his own, so that people didn't think she was incompetent and so that two of her best friends and her boyfriend weren't wasting their Saturday morning waiting around for her.
She concentrated on her eyes and willed them to open with all her might. For the first time in her life she could actually feel the effort that was involved in doing something that was so simple and instinctive that her body did it a thousand times a day without her realising.
'Lily?' James voice came, sharper and more alert than it had previously been.
'What?' Alice's voice had a touch of panic in it.
'Her eyelids fluttered.' James answered. There was a moment of silence, and then he let out an exasperated breath. 'Don't you two look at me like that, I'm not imagining it! I'm the one sat here staring at her!'
Lily gave up on her eyes and tried her voice again.
'James...' It was faint and it was hoarse and it barely sounded like her, but it was there.
'Lily?' Large, warm, calloused hands landed on either side of her face. 'Lily sweetheart?'
'James...' She managed to croak his name out again, slightly stronger this time.
'Madame Pomfrey!' James shouted for the nurse, and from the sound of it, Lily could tell that he had turned his head to yell over one shoulder. His hands never moved from her face. She renewed her focus on her eyelids, forcing them to respond, to open.
She felt them flutter, felt herself wince instinctively as they lifted open and the bright overhead lights pierced her eyes, then she was staring into deep hazel pools of concern, framed in glasses, and she was lost again, in a completely different and much more pleasant sense than before.
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A/N: Thanks for reading and please feel free to let me know what you think - review, PM, whatever you like. Feedback is amazing, and you guys are the sprinkles on my Christmas cookies.
Love and gingerbread to you all XX